The Long Way Home

o0o

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Note: To any readers of the original version (if any), the first chapter has been changed. A lot.

The disguise was only supposed to be temporary, until Sakura had sorted things out, but it had already been two weeks. Two weeks of working at a dango shop, two weeks of pretending to Asuma's distant cousin, pretending to be a random civilian from some random outskirt village in Fire, pretending to be some girl called 'Shimano Mao'. As far as she was concerned, it was a pretty boring existence, not having a job or any friends to hang out with. She couldn't even train on a proper training field, having been forced to limit her activites to the property, which severely limited her options and just barely was enough to keep her in shape.

But it gave her time to think, at the very least.

And luckily, she had been able to avoid any familiar faces for the past fourteen days, consciously not going to places where she knew they would be, even if it meant depriving herself of some good Ichiraku ramen. She stuck to to the more civilian places when shopping or walking and it had sufficed. It felt weird, how even though this place had been her home all her life how easily she had become a stranger within its walls.

But of course, that all came crashing down one day.

"Mitarashi Anko is back! And we have come to celebrate her succesful mission, oji-san, a plate of dango for everyone! It's on me!"

When Sakura first hears the voice, she almost doesn't recognize it, but when she does, she finds herself just freezing in place, only barely processing what the girl--woman had just said. Of course, it was just her luck that she would end up working at the dango shop that Mitarashi Anko frequents, and of course Anko just had to bring her friends along. But friends... Sakura can only dread the faces she will see when she turns around. With one last breath, she steels herself and puts on her Shimano Mao face, sweet, shy and demure.

"U-um, excuse me... Mitarashi-san? Today is the owner's day off... but I can still serve you?"

Anko breaks off her conversation and seems to finally notice Sakura, her eyes narrowing upon seeing her. Sakura can't help but take the chance to look over the--woman, as she carefully avoids looking at the other people with her. With an odd sort of epiphany, Sakura realizes the girl that only just a month ago had been short, flast-chested and twelve was now long-legged, curvy, and if her math served her right, twenty-four. The woman in front of her was older than her, and it just seems so... wrong.

"Who are you? I haven't seen you here before."

"I-I'm new. I just started w-working here, two weeks ago."

Anko continues to stare her down, a frown forming upon her face, but Sakura knew this was her way of employing scare tactics, probably attempting to intimidate the 'new waitress', and bully her over. True to her cover personality, Sakura casts her eyes down within a few seconds, and starts to nervously play with her hands.

"Anko, stop scaring the poor girl. As if you don't torment enough people already."

Sakura feels her heart skip a beat: Genma's voice. If Genma was there, who else was at that table? How many other people would she recognize?

She doesn't want to look.

"Oh alright, you're accepted, newbie. But learn my face!! For am I your most valuable customer and I expect special treatment!" Anko announces with a particularly feral grin. "Got it?"

"Yeah," Sakura mumbles out. "You o-ordered a plate of dango for everyone, right?

"That's right! So, including me... mm... six plates!"

Sakura nods and hurries back, being careful not to make eye contact with anyone else. Six plates... One was Anko, one was Genma.... who were the other four? After reporting the order to the cook, she finally gets a chance to look, and surreptitiously glances at the table while pretending to be cleaning the counters.

First glance finds Anko in the front talking boisterously to Genma who was right beside her. Second glance shows Izumo and Kotetsu having some kind of argument about some girl or another. Third glance shows her Kurenai, talking animatedly to... someone next to her, except that Anko's head is blocking the view. Sakura waits a bit, glancing up every so often and then finally, Anko's head moves as she turns to Kurenai, revealing the person...

Kakashi.

And he's looking straight at her.

For a moment, an apology almost bursts from her lips, almost having forgotten that she was in the future, that she wasn't Sarutobi Rin anymore. She wants to yell at him for being so stupid, even if he was right about that stupid mission and that she actually wasn't ready to go on a solo just yet. She had been waiting for this moment for weeks now, ever since she had seen death at the hands of the nin that almost killed her, ever since she realized that she might have never had the chance to patch things up with him, but now the hard truth hits her.

Sarutobi Rin is dead.

"Shimao-san! The plates are ready!"

The cook's voice breaks her out of her daze and she rushes to the kitchen, wondering just how long she been staring at Kakashi and if anyone else had noticed. Anko's whistle confirms all.

"Whoo, did you see how that girl looked at you, Hatake? You ladykiller!"

"Haha, Anko, you know our Kakashi doesn't go for girls."

"You make it sound like I'm gay, Genma. Besides, that girl's practically jailbait."

"Psh, she's what. Eighteen?" (Twenty, Sakura mentally corrects) "You should have some fun, man! Loosen up."

"Your idea of fun scares me, Mitarashi."

"Oh come on, Kurenai, back me up here."

By now, Sakura has arrived back at their table, carrying all their plates. The table falls silent at her approach, and she can't help but feel even more self-conscious, feeling their eyes watching her every movement. When she finally sets down Kakashi's dish, he murmurs a quiet 'thank you' that startles her so much that she nearly drops the plate. Looking up, she sees that he's still staring at her and she can't help but feel this cold chill, wondering if he had somehow been able to read her thoughts, if he had somehow figured out her real identity and just as she's about to withdraw herself quietly, he stops her.

"Excuse me, I don't mean to be rude... but are you by any chance related to Sarutobi Asuma?"

She stops, frozen--and then, relief floods her. Of course, her henge had been created as to show a resemblance to him. That's why Kakashi had been staring at her... nothing more. Nothing more.

(So why is she feeling so disappointed then?)

"A-ah, yes... he's my cousin," She replies and before any more questions are asked, another couple enters and she quickly excuses herself. "Please enjoy your food."

And for the rest of the evening as she waits the other tables, she snatches up whatever bits of the conversations at that table she can get, trying to find some sort of what she used to have in the little dialogues. She hears how Anko had somehow ended up dating Kotetsu for a time, how Kurenai had been recently going out with Asuma (what?), how Genma's latest conquest with Shizune was utterly failing, etc. Each bit is a stab at how she might never be part of that again, yet she listens anyway, just wanting some feeling of normalcy back.

But the evening is over too quick and when they leave, she wonders if this is how it's going to be. How she'll only be able to see the people that she knows from a distance, that she'll never get the closeness she had with them again.

And Kakashi... would she have to give him up too?

oOo

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As soon as the others wave goodbye, Anko is pulling Kurenai away quickly until everyone else is completely out of hearing.

"Okay, we're gonna hook Kakashi up. You know, with the cute waitress he was staring at the whole evening."

Kurenai raises an eyebrow and assesses Anko.

"Are you drunk, Anko? Did you somehow sneak some vodka into the tea?"

"No!" Anko gives off a frustrated sigh. "But didn't you see the chemistry there? And seriously, we need to cheer the guy up!"

"By playing matchmaker?"

"Oh come on, that guy needs to get laid and you know it."

"With a girl younger than him by a decade? You might as well just hire him a hooker."

"But didn't you see how interested he was in her? He totally was checking her out--"

"You're seeing things."

"--And I have this whole plan! See, since you and Sarutobi are going out--"

"Jury's still out on that one."

"--All you'd have to do is arrange a double date! See, you bring Kakashi and Sarutobi can bring his cousin and it'll be like, awesome--hey, wait! I think this is a good idea."

"Goodnight Anko."

"But--"

"Goodnight."

oOo

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"I saw Kakashi today," Sakura says as soon as she gets home, finding Asuma in the living room, reading some book. He raises an eyebrow and puts the book down, giving her his full attention.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Anko had brought him and some others to the shop," She pauses. "They didn't recognize me."

She's not sure what else to say. They've already had the conversation, of her trying to choose between Haruno Sakura and Sarutobi Rin. Haruno Sakura already had a place in this society, already had an identity just waiting for her to take back. Yet she still found herself unwilling to return to that persona, not wanting to have to work up credibility and relationships that she once had. But going back as Sarutobi Rin had its own disadvantages--how could she explain her disappearance? And how she hadn't grown in seven years? And if the wrong person finds out that Sakura had actually time-traveled...

And then, it just didn't seem fair, to bring back old ghosts like that.

But still...

She can see Asuma is waiting for her as she gathers her thoughts, trying to figure out what she wants to say.

"You know, I never got to apologize to him... you know, Kakashi. About that fight."

"I remember it."

"Will I never get that chance?"

She can see Asuma hesitating, and she feels guilty for pushing her burdens on him, forcing him to think the answer for her--she shouldn't be doing this to her brother, the only family she even has left. But yet she still waits, desperate to know what he will say, hoping he'll have something.

"... I'm sure he already knows," he finally says.

But does he really, Sakura wants to say, yet she keeps silent. She wouldn't push Asuma any further. So instead, she changes the topic.

"So I heard you and Kurenai were dating?" Sakura says, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "When did that happen? Oooh, are you ever going to introduce me to her?"

She can see his annoyance, and she grins, the little sister in her relishing over this piece of info she can hold over his head. Obviously, this was not the most comfortable topic for him to talk about. But just when she thinks she has won, Asuma replies, but instead of answering the question, he dodges it, replying with a question of his own, a slight twinkle in his eye.

"You know, I've been thinking, didn't you have a crush on Kakashi when you first were added to his team?"

Sakura opens her mouth in horror, feeling a slight blush come to her face.

"Oh, we are so not having this conversation!"

Asuma has the audacity to smirk.

"Exactly."

Sakura narrows her eyes, all but saying 'just you wait, I'll figure this out' and goes off to sulk in some corner and maybe plan some revenge, but as she is about to go, Asuma calls out to her, his voice suddenly turning serious.

"Rin."

She stops and turns back to him.

"Yeah?"

The moment of silence Asuma takes as he hesitates only makes her more apprehensive.

"Tomorrow... it's your funeral. Well, Sakura's funeral. The Hokage has finally decided to declare her MIA and... tomorrow they're carving her name in the memorial stone. Three o'clock."

He turns back to his book, leaving Sakura to her thoughts. So not only Rin was dead, but now, Sakura too.

... She wonders if she has anything black to wear.

oOo

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In the end, she doesn't go. Not only did she not have any viable reason to go, but she knew she couldn't face all the faces she would see. Instead, she comes an hour later after everyone has left, flowers in her hand as she approaches the stone. And there, sure enough, were the characters for her name sketched onto the stone, the newest addition. It somehow felt rather morbid, leaving flowers for herself.

"Who are you here for?"

Sakura immediately turns around, mentally chiding herself for letting her guard down, and she is nearly reaching for the kunai pouch she has hidden in her sleeve, but stops short at recognizing the voice. Kakashi... Kakashi was right here.

Right beside her.

"My... my uncle," She murmurs, watching him as puts down some flowers right beside hers. "And you?"

"A lot of people."

If she was Rin, they could have just shared a knowing glance as they think of Obito, the Yondaime, of everyone they had lost and just know they they understood each other. If she was Sakura, she could have just reminded him that he still had his students, that he still had Naruto and her. But now, she was just a stranger, and anything she might say would mean nothing the man next to her... this man she barely knew now.

In fact, he was probably a stranger to her as much as she was to him by now. For him, seven years had passed, even if for her had only been a month. He had probably even grieved her death for seven years, and now, this was just another one to add to the list.

She doesn't say anything and after a few moments pass, she turns to leave, deciding there probably was nothing for her to say that would actually mean anything. However, just as she's walking away, Kakashi's voice stops her.

"You know, I never did catch your name."

She turns around and sees him looking at her with an impassive dark eye, yet she wishes she could read what going on inside. Wishes she could see recognition spark within that one orb, wishes she could see it crinkle into his warm smile, but no, that was just wishful thinking.

"...Mao. Shimano Mao," She finally says. "And you?"

"Hatake Kakashi."

oOo

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At first, Asuma had been confused when Sakura had suddenly come back with a fish for dinner, confused by the sudden change from Sakura's usual sweet tendencies, and then was even more confused when as she served it, she packed a part of it in a container.

"Are you saving some for later?"He asks, giving the container a pointed look.

"This?" Sakura looks at it. "Oh no, I'm giving this to someone later."

He doesn't question any further.

oOo

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When Kakashi answers the knock to the door, finds the doorway empty of any person. Instead, there's a package lying on the floor, with a note.

your new friend

He picks up the package curiously and opening the lid, he sees that it's full of food. And not only that, but it was full of his favourite food too: salt-broiled saury. How did the girl know--no, Asuma probably told her, probably also told her of Sakura's funeral. Kakashi feels a small smile come to his face, somewhat touched by the gesture.

And later, when he sits down to eat it, he can't help but notice that the taste for some reason seems so familiar...

oOo

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A.N. Haha. I'm scared I made the wrong choice--I was either going to make Sakura a civilian or a mysterious nin. I had first chosen the latter, but changed my mind... and yeah. I hope I chose right. And random piece of trivia, Sakura's new name, 'Mao', actually translates to 'true cherry blossom' according to the website I chose. Pretty neat, considering what the original name I had chosen was going to be ('Nadeshiko', haha, who gets where it's from). And I swear to you, I do proofread, but somehow, I will always miss something so please, tell me about any errors you see.

But yeah, like always, thank you for reading and comments and criticisms are welcomed and appreciated! =D Until next time~