A/N This is a oneshot that I thought of and I thought would be really cool.
The Nargles made me do it.
It was two weeks into the sixth year and Hermione was sitting in her chair in front of the Gryffindor fire reading a book. In the corner was Harry and Ron playing chess. There were others around the room. She could see Neville and Ginny trying to eat each others tongue in the chair behind the clueless Ron. With the twins gone Dean and Seamus had started to become their official liaison's inside Hogwarts and were in another corner trying (and failing) to secretly sell some pranks. To her it was just another Saturday in the Gryffindor common room. That is until Luna showed up.
The door to the common room shot open and in stepped Luna carrying a bat that she should by no means even be able to lift. She gracefully walked over to the corner that Ron and Harry were playing chess in and before anyone could so much as make a noise swung the bat and connected quite forcefully with the side of Ron's head. Ron didn't even get a chance to scream as his entire chair tumbled to the side. Luckily for Ron Hermione, Harry, Ginny, and Neville all grabbed the bat as Luna brought it back for another swing that would have likely ended all chances he would have had at kids.
"Luna why did you just hit Ron with a bat." Hermione asked. She knew that it would be best to try and remain calm with Luna as it took a lot of concentration to try and understand what she was talking about.
"The Nargles told me to do it. Though I am not sure why. They just said that it would be cool if I could join in on the Ron bashing for once." she replied her eyes filled with honesty. No one had expected this. Even those that knew Luna were not expecting this though now that they thought about it they probably should have.
"Luna how many times do I have to tell you that Nargles are not real." Hermione stated as she realized that she was the only one in the room that had enough sense at the moment to form a complete sentence.
"About the same number of times that I have told you that just cause you can't hear them doesn't mean that they are not real." she said as she let go of the bat. The bat which everyone now knew weighed roughly twenty pounds dropped to the ground with a resounding 'thud'.
"Alright fine Luna assuming that they are real. What pray tell are they?" she asked not expecting to get an even somewhat logical answer to her question.
"You mean I haven't told you before. Hmm I was positive that I had. Oh well never mind that. Nargles are what we call 'Fan fiction writers'. And they told me that it should join them in some Ron bashing. Amongst other things." and with that she grabbed Harry and dragged him out of the common room.
It took Hermione a full five minutes to realize that her best friend had just been forcefully dragged from the room by a girl that had just leveled her other friend with a baseball bat. She then preceded to race after them completely forgetting about her 'other friend' who was now bleeding on the maroon rug in the common room. It took her another ten minutes to find Luna walk out of an unused classroom alone and smiling. Fearing the worst she ran into the room and found it completely empty. She charged back down the hallway after Luna who was now on her way to the great hall with yet another smaller baseball bat.
"Luna what did you do to Harry?" she asked worried that he was dying in a classroom. And with the number of classrooms inside the school. It would be impossible to find him.
"I simply gave him a few tips on how to defeat Voldemort." the young blond casually answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Though with Luna it probably was. "And now I am going to do what the Nargles asked me to do next." and with that she kicked open the doors to the great hall. She was about to take a step in when she stopped and appeared to listen to some one. Turning back to Hermione she placed her bat on the ground. Placed a hand on each of her cheeks and pulled her down into a passionate kiss. Hermione didn't know what was happening for as soon as Luna's lips touched hers everything dissolved around her. Wrapping her arms around the younger witch she deepened the kiss. Luna could feel the need that was in Hermione's lips and decided that for a first kiss this one was amazing. Making a mental note to do this again she pulled away from Hermione and smiled.
"Well Hermione I must say that the Nargles are right about you." she smiled as she picked up her bat. "Would you like to join me in some Dumbledore bashing?" she asked.
Hermione just stared at her as she realized that she had just been kissed by another girl in front of the entire great hall. The surprising part was that she liked it. She simply smiled as she summoned her own bat. "Sure." And with that both girls made their way towards the head table.
…
Meanwhile in the Riddle manor Harry had decided that he should take Luna's advice. He wasn't sure why but it was almost as if there was a small voice in his head telling him that she was right. He shrugged it off as he hit yet another Death Eater with the butt of his SAR-87. Why he had chosen this rifle he didn't know but he liked it. So far with the helps of Fawkes and his invisibility cloak he had made it inside the Manor and to the 'throne room' without firing a single shot or alerting anyone. He wasn't sure how he had done it but he was pretty sure that it was thanks to his inexplicable dumb luck.
After taking a few calming breaths he threw off his cloak and kicked in the door to the main room. There in the room were the three people that he wanted to see the most. Sitting in his throne was Tom Riddle and kneeling at his feet were none other than Peter Pettigrew and Bellatrix Lestrange. Without even waiting for the welcome that he knew wasn't coming her opened fire and within twenty seconds had emptied the entire contents of his magically enhanced clip into the three now dead figures. Instantly he felt a powerful burst of magic and a weight that he never knew he had was lifted off his shoulders. He could hear the screams of pain of all the Death Eaters that he had left in the hallways as the same magic that had washed over him washed over them burning them thanks to their connection through the dark mark.
Having completed his mission he loaded a new clip and with a thought summoned Fawkes to take him back to Hogwarts a new man. He arrived in the entrance to the great hall to witness one of the weirdest sights he had ever seen. In the corner was half of the students trying unsuccessfully trying to back away from the two witches that he recognized as Hermione and Luna kissing each other with a liberal amount of both tongue and groping. At the same time he could see the teachers had gathered around what he could only believe to be Albus Dumbledore. It appeared as if a troll had decided to play cricket with his face. At the same time he could see Snape writhing in pain holding what he assumed to be his to be dark mark. He simply shrugged this off as some sort of weird wizarding custom that was preformed after the defeat of every dark lord. He sat down and grabbed a roll tearing off a chunk as he began to wonder what he would do with his life now that the dark lord was dead and gone.
"Harry." he turned to look at the face of his best friend as she and what he could only assume to be her new girlfriend sat down on either side of him. "Harry me and Luna have talked it over and we decided that we would put aside our differences and work together to ensure that you are happy for the rest of your life."
"That being said would you like to join us for a nice romp up in the Room of Requirement." Luna stated with no regards to the subtlety that Hermione had been trying to use earlier. It was at this point that harry realized that both of the girls had latched onto him and were staring at him with undisguised lust in their eyes. Harry simply sighed as he stood and escorted his two... girlfriends. Yeah his two girlfriends up to the room of requirement. He wondered what Ron was up to before he realized that he would not be getting any sleep that night.
