AN: Chapter number two. This actually happens before the intro. It's beginning to explain why Jim is so nervous.
"Hey, you know what Bones? It's almost Valentine's Day." McCoy looked over his shoulder at his young friend casually lounging on his back across one of the cots. His face was turning rather red from dangling his head off the end so he could look at Bones upside down.
"For Christ's sake, Jim, get your damn feet off the bed," Bones huffed before turning around to continue examining the chart in his hand.
"Oh come on, Bones," Jim cried, jumping up from the bed and throwing his arms around the other man's shoulders, "aren't you excited at all?"
"No," Bones growled, giving Jim a look that clearly stated 'get the fuck off me' all by itself, but Jim ignored him.
"Why don't you give something to Nurse Chapel? I think she likes you. She always does everything you tell her to!"
"Unlike some people," Bones grumbled, shrugging Jim off and walking into his office, "Besides, I'm her boss, she has to do what I tell her or she'll get fired."
"Ooh, kinky," Jim said with a wink as he tossed himself down into a chair across from Bones. He was rewarded with another withering look. "Seriously, though, what are you going to do?"
"Jim, why the hell should I do anything?" Bones cried, tossing his hands into the air with exasperation. "I mean, we're in space, god damn it!" Jim stared at him for a moment.
"Your point?" he asked. Bones sighed heavily and slumped down into his chair in defeat.
"Alright, Jim, you win," he groaned, "What is it that you want?"
"What do you mean?" Jim asked, adopting a puzzled expression.
"Oh don't you play dumb with me," Bones barked, waggling a finger in Jim's direction, "Whenever you come in here and start asking me a stream of nonsense questions it's cause you want something from me. Now spit it out." Jim smiled sheepishly at Bones, but was met only with a stern gaze.
"…I don't always want something."
"Bullshit." The office fell quiet as the two glared at each other in a silent battle of wills. It was Bones who finally emerged victorious when Jim rolled his eyes and let out a sigh of defeat.
"Alright, fine," he muttered, glowering at a patch of carpet, "I need some advice."
"Judging from our former topic of conversation I'm guessing it has something to do with the upcoming holiday you've been pestering me about," Bones responded, adopting a very professional tone as he returned to leafing through the charts in his hand.
"Okay, so yeah, it does," Jim huffed, propping his feet on the edge of the desk before him and bringing his knees in close to his chest. Bones waited patiently for further explanation, but when none came he glanced up from his work and uttered a warning "Jim."
"Alright, alright, fine!" Jim exclaimed, "I'm worried about Spock."
"Aaand you lost me."
"No, I mean, remember the Christmas party? When we discovered that Vulcans and chocolate don't mix? You know, Spock got all weird and giggly and then he wouldn't stop touching my hair and he started throwing up on shit and-"
"YES, Jim, I remember," Bones interrupted, "Do you have a point hidden in there some where?"
"Well, it's just that on Valentine's Day," Jim continued, "everybody gives out chocolate, and what if people give Spock chocolate…and he gets all crazy? Because that would be bad, you know?" Jim added the last part hastily, as if worried Bones might misunderstand his meaning. That was more than enough of a hint for Bones to pick up on.
"That's not all, is it?" Jim stared dumbly at Bones for a moment, his face turning pale as if he'd just been caught in a lie.
"Um…"
"Oh come on, Jim," Bones groaned, slapping his charts against the desk in annoyance, "You know you can tell me anything, so just say it already."
"What do I get Spock for Valentine's Day?" Bones froze at the unexpected question, gaping at Jim from across the desk. This was weird, damn weird. Why on earth would Jim want to get Spock, of all things, a present, especially for some stupid, meaningless holiday like that? The only people who even thought about Valentine's Day anymore were the gold diggers, the desperate, and the…the…
Bones couldn't bring himself to finish the thought. His mind was running on an overload of sweet, sugary thoughts, thoughts that involved words like "lovey-dovey" for Christ's sake. Seriously, what the hell?!
Across the table, Jim watched Bones' frozen expression worriedly. He imagined brains might start leaking from his ears at any moment. But Bones managed to pull himself together. With a few rapid blinks and a serious of small coughs, he reemerged from his state of shock to lean back wearily in his chair.
"Jim," he began hesitantly," may I ask why exactly you want to get a Valentine's Day present for Spock?"
"Isn't that what you do?" Jim asked, nervously scratching the back of his neck. Bones answered him with a blank expression. "What!? What's wrong with that? He's a good guy once you get to know him. And…he's pretty."
"Jim, he…what!?" Bones exclaimed with a mock horrified expression
"He is!" Jim insisted.
"Okay, fine, we'll overlook that point for now," Bones conceded, "but I thought you liked women. You know you used to have sex like a rabbit with every nice ass you saw? In case you hadn't noticed, Spock's a guy."
"Spock has a nice ass," Jim muttered, "Besides, I never really made it last with a woman. I was sexually attracted, sure, but then that was it. All I wanted was a roll in the hay and a clean break. But it's not like that with him. So what's wrong with that?"
"Did you just say something intelligent, Jim?"
"Oh, so you've noticed Spock has a nice ass too, have you Bones?"
AN: Oh I just LOVE doing converstions between Jim and Bones. I put a poll up about what you like best in my stories, dialouge, descriptions, or character's thoughts. You should go check it out! It might influence me in the future.
