Wow. Chapter 10. I really wasn't planning for the story to be this long :D This is all thanks to you guys who are reading and reviewing and making me want to keep writing! :D This chapter should hopefully mark the beginning of a relationship for Mac and Stella as it has been a bit rocky for them up to now. Thanks for R&Ring and I hope you enjoy it :D (The italics are a flash back incase my writing was too shoddy to make that clear lol :D :D)


Mac watched out of his office window as Cathie Mitchell was escorted down the corridor. She looked up as she passed and in the moment their eyes connected, Mac looked for any signs of regret and saw none. Surprisingly, this angered him and he found his thoughts began to drift to Abigail.

Had he been so unfair that killing was Abigail's only option? He tried to remember any moment that he had led her to believe that he loved her. He had never told her that he did and the affection he showed, and he didn't show it very often, wasn't anything to sing and dance about. His thoughts drifted to the day they had started 'dating' if that's what you could call it.

Mac walked out of his office, turning off the lights as he went. He walked towards the elevator and saw Stella there. She was wearing a green jumper, the colour matching perfectly with her eyes. The sleeves stopped at her shoulders so they were bare and her brown curls fell beautifully onto her olive skin. He went to say hello, clearing his throat beforehand to make sure the pitch of his voice remained normal, when he saw she was already in conversation with someone else. Adam was standing next to her, his eyes full of lust and his arms swinging nervously at his sides. Mac felt a wave of jealousy pass through him as he saw them, images of them together swam through his mind reluctantly and his hands balled into fists. He shook his head to clear it and focused his eyes on the elevator. She had chosen Adam. She didn't want Mac and he had to accept that.

'Hey Mac!' Stella greeted from where she was standing with a smile.

'Hi Stella. Adam.' He replied, nodding to Adam briefly, trying to keep his jealousy under control. Adam nodded back and the elevator door opened. Mac rushed inside and when he looked up, he saw that Stella had followed him. She smiled at him again and Mac couldn't help but smile back. The doors shut and Mac was suddenly aware of the very small space between them. He coughed.

'So, what did Adam want?' He couldn't help but ask. Stella looked at the floor and began to shift her feet.

'Nothing much, just to say hi. But you know Adam, he can turn a 'hi' into a full blown conversation. A one-sided conversation.' She laughed and Mac's jealousy kicked in. He wondered whether Stella found Mac funny or was that just Adam's area of expertise?

The doors opened and they both walked out towards the night air of New York. They stopped and faced each other, both grinning shyly.

'Well, night Mac.' Stella said after a moment.

'Night Stel.' He lent in and kissed her cheek, not knowing why he did.

'See you tomorrow.' Stella whispered. Her smile had grown and Mac wanted so much to believe it was because of his kiss.

Stella walked away and Mac managed to tear his eyes from her, turning to his car. And that is where she stood, waiting, that smile on her face.

'Hey.' She called to him.

'Abigail.' He replied, surprised. He walked over to her, thinking she had a work matter.

'I was wondering Mac, what are you up to tonight?' She asked as he came to a stop in front of her. He was confused. Why did she want to know?

'Erm. Sleep I think.' Mac responded. Abigail laughed.

'Well, I was thinking maybe I could buy you a drink beforehand.' She took a step towards him and it finally clicked into Mac's head what she wanted.

'Oh. Erm. Well. I –' He spluttered.

'Oh come on Mac, live a little.' And then she pulled him towards her by his jacket collar and their lips met. Mac was momentarily frozen, unsure how to react to this but then the images of Adam and Stella came back to his head. He felt the jealousy return and his body began to melt into Abigail's. He put his arms around her and he tried not to think about how wrong she felt in them. She responded enthusiastically and after a while, they broke apart. Mac saw the glee all over her face and regret started to creep through him.

Mac didn't realise how much he would regret that decision until now. He sighed, and thought about any other moment he had ever responded to her with that much enthusiasm. He couldn't think of any. Abigail was always the one trying to seduce him and Mac was always less than enthusiastic. It was unfair really, he should have let her go much quicker but at the time, Mac didn't want to hurt her feelings. He laughed once without humour into the silence of his office, he hadn't really achieved in that.

He reached over to grab his coat and went to leave his office. He turned off the lights and walked down the corridor and felt a strong sense of déjà vu. He saw Stella, wearing that same green jumper from the night it all started, standing at the elevator. She was talking to Adam once again but his eyes were less hopeful that the other night. Stella wasn't laughing, the smile that had once been on her face was absent and when Mac walked towards them, he found that the jealousy he had felt did not resurface as he walked towards them.

'Hey Adam. Stel, are you ready to leave?' He said quietly. Stella turned towards him, the sparkle in her eyes that he loved had dimmed and he felt a strong sense of guilt wash over him. If he hadn't had let the jealousy get to him that night, she would be the same happy Stella. Maybe not happy with him but still, happy.

'Sure. Let's go.' She responded and nodded to Adam briefly before walking to the elevator, Mac following behind her.

After they were sat in the warm of Mac's car, Mac couldn't bear the silence that had hung over them like a dark rain cloud since they had entered the elevator. He looked towards her before turning his eyes back to the road. She was staring blankly out of the window.

'Are you wanting to go home tonight Stel?' He asked, almost sighing in relief at the break of silence. It didn't last long. Stella merely nodded silently, her eyes not leaving the window.

They reached her apartment building and Mac stopped the car, looking towards her. She turned to him for the first time since they entered the car and the lights from the road reflected off her eyes, highlighting the pain she was feeling.

'Stella, what can I do? I can't bear seeing you like this.' Mac said finally. Stella shook her head slowly.

'There's nothing you can do. Only I can help me now Mac.' She whispered.

'I just feel so helpless.' He responded quietly, placing his hand on her cheek. She placed her own hand on his and lent her face into it.

'Don't. I said I'd try and I will. Just give me a bit of time alone.' She said, looking right in his eyes. Mac nodded, not sure what else to say.

'I love you.' She whispered.

'Love you too.' Mac replied before she let go of his hand and walked out the car towards her apartment.

*

The morning had arrived, the sun filling Stella's apartment with a golden light. The mood of the weather contrasted unbelievably with Stella's mood. She had been up all night thinking of what she needed to do to find closure and now she knew. She walked to her door, placing her half-drunk coffee on the table as she went, and walked out her apartment.

When she walked into the bright hustle and bustle of New York, she breathed in deeply and walked to her car.

She drove for what felt like hours but Stella knew that it was just her reluctant mind playing tricks on her. Everything was screaming at her not to do this but she had to. For Mac.

She remembered the worry in his eyes from last night and it almost broke her heart to know what her sadness was doing to him. She just hoped that this plan would work.

The car slowed to a stop and Stella killed the engine. She looked out of the window and her hands began to shake. She inhaled deeply again and stepped out of the car. Her legs moved her without her realising towards her destination and her ears just about picked up the sound of a parking car behind her. She did not turn as all her attention was focused on what she had to do.

She could see it now, she knew she was near and she felt like the air in her lungs had been knocked out of her. She began to gasp for air as her legs came to a halt. She couldn't do it.

Her ears heard footsteps behind her and her brain was telling her to turn, to run but she couldn't find the strength. She tried to scream as a pair of arms wrapped round her waist but no sound came out. The arms turned her around and pulled her forward. She fell onto a chest and she felt hands rubbing her back soothingly. She began to calm, the breath returning to her and the familiar scent of Mac Taylor filled her nose. Relief filled her body and with it came strength. She could do this now. She could do it with him.

He let go of her and placed a hand in hers. They moved forward together slowly, no-one saying anything, and the sun gleamed off the stone that was getting closer and closer. They stopped just in front of it and Mac placed his arm around her. She leaned into him and realised that she was shaking.

Before them was a gravestone. The gold letters on the grey marble glittered as Stella read them.

'Abigail Maria Johnson. Born 16/11/72. Died 05/02/10. She was a loving daughter and will be sorely missed. May she rest in peace.'

Stella swallowed and choked back her tears. Crying now wouldn't be appropriate. She crouched down and touched the marble briefly with the tips of her fingers. And Mac stood behind her, his hands resting on her shoulders. Stella breathed in slowly and began what she came here to do.

'This might sound shallow or meaningless from me but I am sorry Abigail. I spend every second of my day being sorry for what I did and it's nothing more than I deserve. Killing…' her voice broke on the word, 'is never justified and will never be right and if there could be some way that the 5th of February could have happened without any one of our lives in danger then I would take it with both hands. But I can't. I'm sorry for what I did and I hope wholeheartedly that wherever you are, you are peaceful. Goodbye Abigail.' She whispered and stood up again, her legs still shaking. Mac supported her with his arms before moving forward himself.

'Goodbye Abigail. I'm deeply sorry for the pain I caused you. You will always be remembered. Rest in peace.' Mac said quietly whist placing a bunch of flowers at the grave. His words were brief but said all that was needed to.

Stella took Mac's hand and together, they walked back to the car wordlessly. The sun shining down on the flowers resting at the foot of the glittering marble.


Well that was probably my longest chapter - to mark the 10 chapter point! :D This is my longest fanfic yet! Yay!! I hope that wasn't too depressing and that the characters are all okay :D Let me know what you think! I might try to update again today as a sorry for not updating or replying to reviews for the next few days. Thanks for reading!

As you probably already know, reviews make me smile :D