Horio Satoshi

1. He was dyslexic.

It was irritating at the best of times and downright threatening at the worst. In school it had been a nuisance, sometimes writing numbers or kanji backwards until his teacher had begun editing his papers much more severely than his classmates, large red words telling him that he wasn't making any improvements and that he would need to be held back if he didn't continue. Horio had put up with it the best that he could, and trudged along with barely passing marks despite all of this, enduring the teasing from both male and female classmates alike over the mistake he'd made when called to the board though it was no more severe than on someone else had. In his later years, though, especially once he'd hit eighteen and begun driving, it had become a serious problem and though no one believed him, the car accident that had ended everything good for him had been caused by confusion over which way he was turning as the sign's characters twisted itself more ways than should have been possible.

2. He adored his cousin.

Though the gap between 12 and 21 was immense, Junpei was one of the few people Horio had ever been able to talk to. They were alike in aspirations and alike in personality, though that wasn't always the best thing, and his cousin was the only person in the world Horio could ever truly talk to. Sure, he had a few friends here and there but it was Junpei who he could call at half past one in the morning and expect to pick up, Junpei who would listen patiently to his troubles before doling out the best advice he had, Junpei who came to his aid when he really needed it. Horio not only appreciated, but secretly adored his older cousin for everything that he did – because nobody else would.

3. He knew he would never be good enough.

He had never quite measured up to the standards society set. He was never the best, never even second best, but somewhere near the middle-end of society with his meager list of achievements. No matter how hard Horio tried, he was never fast enough, strong enough, smart enough – good enough, and it killed him every step of the way.

4. That didn't stop him from trying.

He knew he would never be good enough – it was something Fate had set in stone for him from a young age. But he tried to beat it out anyway. He studied his butt off for every test he had to take, regardless of the fact that it never seemed to make a difference, did all of his homework perfectly, tried out for the tennis team and stuck with it even though he barely made a regulars position by his senior year of junior high school and didn't make it once while actually in high school. In life he was fired or laid off or not even accepted into a position. He was rejected from most of the universities he applied to, barely made it into the one that he went to, and was left to fend for himself job after job after job. But he continued coming back to spite the world, no matter how much they wanted to reject him, and that was what mattered.

5. He didn't mean to be a nuisance, he just was.

He knew he was loud and he knew he was obnoxious. It was no secret to him, and he was far more self-aware than most people realized; there were many nights he barely slept because he was running through all of the idiotic things he'd accidentally said or done that day without properly thinking them through. Despite all of this, Horio was still an impulsive person by nature and no matter how hard he tried to change and become less annoying he never truly managed to.

6. He was teased mercilessly as a child.

Initially it was for his looks – his unibrow, his large ears, his oddly shaped face, his weird mouth. Later it was for his intelligence – he was slow or dumb or just plain retarded according to many people, mostly children who were not yet away of the caustic effect their words had on him. The only reason it had stopped in his later years was because he had taken some form of control and learned to laugh at himself unfairly in order to mask the hurt, a coping skill that was both unpleasant but required.

7. He lost everything by the time he was thirty-five.

His wife had divorced him and run off with both of their children to who-knew-where years previous, his parents had left the country and sent absolutely no notification that they were all right, every job he had fired him within the first three months. Horio could deal with this, though, if it hadn't been for the car crash. He couldn't even remember it clearly any more, just knew there were lights and sirens and words twisting in odd directions and the copper scent of blood somewhere mixed in, and when he'd come to the two most life-changing blows had been delivered on him: he was paralyzed from the waist down, and his brother had been killed on impact. It was nearly the end of him.

8. He loved his children up to the day he died.

He'd gotten married young, right out of University to a woman who he loved though she didn't love him. He had promised he would provide for her, though, and she seemed to think that was good enough because she'd stayed with him for ten years, two beautiful children had nothing but his eyes produced. Then she had sprung the divorce on him without a single warning, taking both of his kids with her and giving him absolutely no visitation rights. Despite this he sent cards and gifts every Christmas and birthday, though he was never sure if they made it through, and whenever she did let him see them – on those rare, rare occasions – he would document them with picture after picture after picture so he could savor them during the normal moments when he was entirely alone.

9. There were times where he regretted being alive.

His parents tended to leave him to fend for himself, working odd hours and only leaving a few bills with not even a note behind. There were times they went away, sometimes for even weeks at a time, and left him to tend to himself. He was never the best at anything, never ever very good at anything, and so his presence had never ever truly been appreciated in a lot of ways. Though it was never officially said to him, Horio was smart enough to know that there were a lot of people who were annoyed by his mere presence, and the thought of ending it then and there had fitted across his mind more times during his life than was healthy.

10. In the end, he stuck with life.

Just to spite them all, for everything they ever did to him.