DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN ARTEMIS FOWL AND I'M NOT TRYING TO MAKE ANY MONEY OFF THIS !!!! (Author: Eoin Colfer)
(this story takes place after the 5th book and before the 6th - which I am still trying to forget exists)
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Chapter 4
Delilah watched with acute curiosity as the Bently remained stalled at the side of the road where she had left it. She had expected the car to speed off, tearing tires, and burning rubber, on the dangerous wet roads, flying as far away from her and the psychiatric office as fast as possible. She couldn't even begin to fathom the car's motives, or the driver's either. Perhaps the owner of the phone, who was rude as all hell, discovered that it wasn't actually his phone. Delilah grit her teeth and shook the notion from her head. No, she had been triumphant, had show the jerk a slice of humility pie, and there was no way the moment was going to be ruined by a mistake.
Delilah flicked her wet hoody over her head and instantly wished she hadn't. Water had accumulated inside the hood, the fabric so wet that it could no longer absorb the continuing onslaught of rain, and had merrily dumped itself in an icy heap, over her hair. She was now so thoroughly wet that she supposed that if she was rung out and then hung to dry, a lake would form. It didn't help that the two leaning slabs of metal and perforated plastic that masqueraded as a bus shelter didn't stop the rain from pouring in from all sides, dripping heavy frozen and dirty droplets from the ceiling onto her head, no matter where she stood. The rain was now sufficiently through her that it cut into her bones, and settled deep into her marrow. Every bone ached, every muscle twitched and shook, even her gritted teeth clattered together in a mad sort of beat. Delilah sniffled, and hoped the bus came soon or she'd probably die of hypothermia in the hour.
"Excuse me Miss," cut a voice through her desolate thoughts of frost bite and a slow numbing death, sharp enough to make her jump in the air and her heart leap about in a mad frenzy.
Delilah stopped staring at her weather worn shoes and, with great surprise, looked up into the phone owner's eyes. He was hovering at the opening of the bus shelter, umbrella magically keeping any stray drop from colliding into the man, a strange and undefinable expression on his face. It looked like a cross between disgust, uncertainty, shame, and a great deal of anger. Oh, it must not have really been his phone then. Oops.
"I – ah," Delilah knew that she should apologize, but she really didn't want to, not to give that jerk the satisfaction of her error.
"Thank you for returning my phone. Such action was quite considerate," the man dictated, stiffly and dry, as if he was reading lines from a que card, "and I noticed that I had been considerably ungrateful, and that you are quite soaked waiting for a bus that may not come for another hour. If you do not mind, I would like to deliver you to your intended destination as way of gratitude," his voice petered out slightly, and he coughed, "and apology."
It took Delilah a moment to stop forming an apology of her own and decipher what he had just said. It had sounded like a pretentious way of an apology, as if he could distract from the fact that he had been in the wrong by adding pompous words and large diction. She might look stupid, though Delilah in all her life had never actually met someone who looked stupid, but she wasn't as easily fooled as this man thought she was. What an arrogant ass! She almost spat at his offer, but revenge very slowly worked its way through her numbed mind. It wouldn't be a bad idea to get a lift, to go home, take a hot shower, and forget the whole afternoon even happened.
"You're apologizing by taking me home?" Delilah couldn't help but be skeptical, despite the man's mastery of vocabulary and his largely inflated ego, she could see right though him. He didn't really want to take her anywhere, except perhaps the pound, and it really wouldn't ease his mind by going out of his way like this. She could tell. People who meant what they said, people who made up for indiscretions by doing "good" deeds, did it to help them sleep better at night. This man didn't seem the type to care about something as minor as a misconception, he could just as easily drive off without her, run over her foot in the process, and leave her with the medical bill, and have the best sleep in the world.
An irritated expression crossed his face, and he folded his arms across his chest – quite a feat since he kept the umbrella upright in the process.
"What do you really want?" Delilah inquired, when she was certain the man wasn't going to respond.
"To apologize." His answer was quick and biting, not the appropriate tone for a person who was allegedly asking for forgiveness.
"Right. Its quite simple, all you have to do is open your mouth and say 'I'm sorry'."
His jaw clenched and his muscles tensed up. Nope. Didn't look like he could.
"Alright. Then, tell me the truth. You dont care about apologizing and I really dont know who you're trying to appease or impress, cause it certainly isnt me, and I sure to God hope it isn't the big guy."
"I'm just trying -"
"To make amends. Right. Because I'm as stupid as they come. I'm going to get in a car with two strangers, both men, one of whom could take on ten men with his eyes blindfolded and one hand tied behind his back, and not break a sweat. He could kill me with his pinky. I dont know what you're trying to pull, but it aint gunna work."
He stood there in the rain, teeth clenched, fists balled, and glared at her with a glare that would wilt a grown man and make him piss his pants. For a moment Delilah almost stepped back, but her will wouldn't allow it. He was after something, and she wasn't going to let it go. Not when it was freezing, not when he was wasting his time, there had to be a reason and she was going to find out.
"To prove That Hack is wrong."
Delilah was surprised, she hadn't expected him to tell the truth. The man shut his jaw and with thin lips, didn't say another word. To prove someone wrong? She could live with that. Only question remaining, what was he proving wrong.
"Which is?"
For a second she thought he was going to leave, his shoulders stiffened up and he moved his foot to the outside, severely unamused. He surprised her further by responding.
"I'm not a failure of a human."
It was muttered under his breath, as if he were ashamed of saying it, afraid of letting his own ears hear the blasphemy. Delilah was honestly caught aghast, she hadn't expected that. Not the truth. He now looked furious, he had bared himself, even if it was for a second, probably for reasons that baffled even him. Delilah had to fight to keep from smiling, he was so agitated about one thing that he was honest for completely dishonest reasons.
"Fine, you can take me home. But only if you buy me lunch."
Delilah decided to be kind and put him out of his misery.
"Extortionist" he muttered instinctively, and turned away from her, stalking back towards the Bently.
"Jerk" She retorted, following closely behind, and watching as the rain trailed off the umbrella. It was an impressive feat - even the rain was scared shitless in the presence of this man.
Delilah could feel the cold her flesh and dig nails into her bones. Every part of her was shaking - to a point where she was surprised the man in front her couldn't hear it. Though she was now under the meager protection of the umbrella, the biting wind did worse to her soaked body. The chill had set in and Delilah knew that she would at best have a cold in the morning. By the aching feeling in her muscles though, she was fairly certain she would probably awake with a fever.
He opened the car door for her, looking displeased with his own action. Well, she wasn't going to go easy on him, even if he was honest. First she'd take him somewhere with ambiance that screamed unsanitary, though by all means it would be sanitary, then she'd take him down the scenic route to her house. Just for fun.
"Here we are Miss," came his forced voice, distain hardly masked by the pathetic veil of faux-pleasure.
"Hey, just an FYI, but my name's Delilah."
"Artemis," he stated, without making eye contact or even taking her outstretched hand, and with that closed the door.
