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BPOV
After Jane left the room, I locked my door, not that it could stop anybody from coming in anyway. In a place full of vampires, there was no such thing as privacy. Since I was still human, thankfully, every single move I made was heard, meaning that they always had their eyes and ears on me, trained in to make sure that I wasn't attempting to escape, whether it be with or without my life.
The last time I had attempted to escape, it was not so much for my life as it was for another. Her name, from what I could understand, was Sarah. Heidi had gone "fishing" again and had brought in a new group from the Americas. She was only ten years old, wearing a beautiful blue sundress and a little ribbon in her hair. She looked nothing like me, but she was still so similar in so many ways. She had no idea what she was getting into, but she was tugging at her parents' sleeves, her eyes getting wet from tears as her parents refused to listen to her.
I was merely passing the hallway when I saw her. I had been trying to make a run for my room, trying to avoid hearing the screams of the poor humans that were about to lose their lives to the inhuman creatures of the night. Her eyes, the deepest blue I had ever seen, watched me as I walked toward the room, a bit of hope in her eyes when she saw me. Then the screaming began. She flinched when she saw her parents' lives being drained away from them, tears running down their faces. She ran towards me, and I met her half way. The vampires were busy, all so distracted by their prey that they never noticed that I was taking one of their catches to safety. At first, I thought of taking her to my room, in hope that they would let me keep her. I knew that she wasn't a possession, but the vampires often took prisoners for their own personal game. Maybe they would let me raise her and someday she could escape.
But the idea wasn't good enough. She would have been killed instantly. Instead, I ran for the exit, hoping to get there before anyone could notice I was gone. Unfortunately, not all humans despised vampires as much as I did. Gianna, the newest of the Volturi's human secretaries spotted me running and quickly locked the doors before screaming out to Alec and Jane. They appeared by her side in mere seconds, startling little Sarah who was now bawling beside me.
"Isabella, what have we here?" Alec stared at the little girl with an amused smile on his face, something that happened so rarely. Jane was nearly laughing at the sight before her. "It seems Isabella has taken a little snack for herself." I grimaced at the thought of blood and how one day, I was destined to become of them. Suddenly, the girl beside me froze completely, looking unable to move at all. She was being controlled.
I glared at Alec, who was staring innocently at me. When I noticed the girl had moved again, I relaxed, but not for long. Less than two seconds later, Sarah was screaming in agony, writhing on the floor as Jane grinned evilly at her.
I screamed for her to stop, hoping that maybe she would show some mercy. Instead, the girl just began to scream harder. Then it was silent except for the sound of Sarah gasping on the floor, tears running down her face. I swooped down to her, tears also burning beneath my eyes, and kept murmuring "I'm sorry". Nothing could make her forget what happened, but I could try and comfort her. It was my fault she had just experienced the worst physical pain imaginable. Suddenly, a cold hand was on my shoulder. I had immediately tried to shake it off, but it just grasped tighter, bruising my skin.
Aro stood behind me, his eyes closed, shaking his head in disappointment. "Isabella, if you hadn't run off, she wouldn't have had to feel any pain. She could have gone on without suffering, but now she has to suffer." I shook my head frantically, hoping that he wouldn't take her away. "Please, Aro! Let me keep her. She can be changed when she comes of age. She will probably have an excellent gift! Please…" He shook his head again and snapped his fingers. Jane flew at Sarah, who didn't even have enough time to scream before Jane's teeth had latched onto her neck. Her lifeless form slumped to the floor when she was dried of all her life's essence.
I didn't even pass out from the smell of the blood like I normally would have. Instead, I just felt numb. Again, I had been the cause of another painful death.
My fault.
My entire fault.
I couldn't speak for weeks. I would just survive, not live, not that I had lived much while trapped in this place. And now here I was. Stuck in my room, avoiding everyone at all costs, just hoping that it would all be over soon. But I knew things would never change. I would be trapped here for my entire life, which would soon have no end. Again, the stone walls closed me in, making me feel light-headed.
--
What could have been hours later, a knock woke me from my sleep. I had somehow ended up on the floor, a couple sheets of paper from the nightstand having stuck to my face. I groaned and stood, knowing that either way, I would have to face them eventually. As soon as my door opened, I wanted to close it. Aro stood outside, his sickly-sweet smile making me feel nauseous. "Yes, Aro?"
He ignored my feeble attempt to sound decent and spoke. "Isabella," he spoke joyfully while I mumbled about my name being Bella, "Jane said you weren't well. Is this true or is this just another attempt to not have to join our guests?" I couldn't help it; I blushed. It was embarrassing how that even though my mind was impenetrable by Aro, he could still read my quite easily. Deciding that I needed to remain strong, I lifted my chin slightly and tried to speak without allowing my voice to waver. "Aro, I do not wish to join you with our guests. In fact, I refuse to do so. I wasn't here for seven years; you can greet guests without me." I tried to hold my head high.
He sighed sadly and just nodded. I stood there, frozen in my spot from shock. Had he just…agreed? "Very well then, Isabella. You may stay in your room for when they arrive, but you will have to face them at some point. They will be staying here for about a week."
"Why should they even stay? They can just sleep in their coffins…" I mumbled quietly while Aro laughed at my sarcasm. He studied me for a moment before speaking again. "Isabella, these are very important guests. I would prefer that you didn't act out. I don't take misbehavior lightly when around guests. They are the one of the largest covens I have ever seen and a couple of them are very gifted." Ah, so Aro wanted to add more to his collection? Excellent, the more the merrier. Not.
I rolled my eyes and spoke, "Very well, Aro. I shall not behave questionably while the coven is here. I will stay in my room, read, and pretend I don't exist." Maybe I will cease to exist if I pretend long enough, I added in my thoughts.
He nodded before exiting my doorway, leaving me to continue my studies before Alec came to reprimand me.
--
"Very good, Isabella. You have done very well for this lesson. Though I must say that your interpretations of Lao-Tzu's work are very strange. I understand that you find his works in Tao Te Ching inspirational, but I don't understand why."
I sighed in annoyance. We had gone over this before. There wasn't much known about Lao-Tzu and his works, but I did know one thing. He didn't tell you how to live. He didn't tell you what to think. He didn't tell you what to believe in. He just stated common sense that is often ignored. It all made sense, but apparently, it didn't count for vampires.
"Alec, listen to this."
Fill your bowl to the brim
and it will spill.
Keep sharpening your knife
and it will blunt.
Chase after money and security
and your heart will never unclench.
Care about people's approval
and you will be their prisoner.
Do your work, then step back.
The only path to serenity.
"Can't you see how insightful that is? It all makes sense, but constantly people ignore these things and assume that they have to live a certain way." He stared at me like I had two heads before ending his lesson and leaving the room. Of course he wouldn't understand. Joining the Volturi was a major honor in the vampire world. The guard was well-known and admired by many while despised by others. He was never forced to live a life under the watchful eyes of creatures more powerful than him. I sighed before leaning back on my bed. The red satin bedspread was smooth and soft, but wasn't warm. The cold was unnerving, sending goose bumps up and down my arms continuously. It was getting late. I tried desperately to sleep, but it never came. All that was on my mind was the thought that I would never be able to leave. I was stuck here for eternity. There was no chance of me dying.
People always ask you what you want to be when you grow up. If someone was to ask me, I would say I don't know. When they asked why, I would say that it is because I will never grow up. When they ask why I won't grow up, I'll say because I am going to die before I ever get the chance. When you are younger, you don't go and say that you want to be a vampire when you grow up.
My blue cape was still wrapped around my shoulders, sheltering me from the cold, but doing little. Deciding it was time that I left my room, I attempted to push myself off the bed. I didn't so much push myself off the bed as I really just tripped over myself and somehow landed on the floor with a loud thud. I could hear a couple loud guffaws from outside my room, causing me to blush deeply. Damn these vampires for having the ability to embarrass me. Oh wait, they are already damned, I joked to myself. It was a bittersweet joke. I'd be joining them soon, very soon.
Walking through the castle wasn't the most pleasant of experiences. Some would ignore me, pretending like I wasn't there, which I was grateful for. Others would leave the room, avoiding me because they disliked me. I was even more grateful. And the rest would acknowledge me, smelling the air deeply and inhaling my scent. Often enough, I would take advantage of this. Sometimes, a few of the vampires hadn't fed in awhile. I would somehow find a way to injure myself, which often led to me being attacked by the creatures I loathed. I wouldn't run, I wouldn't try and fight back. In the words of Peter Pan, death would be an awfully big adventure. And I had had enough of being in this castle, not living. Death was better than this fate.
Unfortunately for me, some vampires had enough control to restrain themselves from my blood and to restrain the others who were attempting to end my life. Jane, so eager to please her "master", once tortured Renata, a vampire on the guard and Aro's personal protector. Unfortunately for Renata, her "shield", as the guard liked to call it, was purely physical, meaning that Jane's power worked well enough.
In the end, leaving my room was torture, but necessary. If I didn't leave at least once a day, they would send someone to come get me; according to them, I needed to eat. Starving myself hadn't worked either. They had force fed me several times before.
Down the corridor were Heidi and Felix, both talking in hushed tones. It's not like whispering to each other would keep the other vampires in the castle from hearing them, so why did they bother? I had no clue, but continued walking while all eyes turned to me as I came forward. Something wasn't right. This hadn't happened in a long while and it was unnerving. But I wouldn't show my discomfort. I just kept walking.
--
After eating a meal that I produced myself (being that the certain mythical creatures I lived with didn't exactly know how to make human food), I returned to my room. I only had one year. One year before I was dropped into the fiery pits of hell to burn alive. One year until I was forced to feed on the very essence of which I survived with now. My humanity would be gone, as would my soul and heart beat. It was a lost war. If my mind hadn't been so different, then Jane would have been able to "play with her food" all those years ago, and I would be dead along with my parents. Sometimes, the power of the mind isn't the best thing.
I lied on my plush yet strangely cold bet and allowed my mind to wander. Tomorrow I would hide away in my room, unable to leave because I was too stubborn to allow myself to leave for my weak, human tendencies. I wouldn't be weak and allow myself to meet these strange "vegetarians". They held no importance to me for they were exactly the same as the blood-lusting creatures I lived with now. They just had a conscience.
With anger and hatred stuck in my heart and mind, I drifted to sleep, letting my nightmares take over again.
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