A/N: READ THE CHAPTER AND I'LL EXPLAIN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or its characters.
CHAPTER 6: REWIND, FAST FORWARD
Carlisle POV
I watched Bella from the corner of her room, my mind focusing intently on her vital signs and her movements and the rain plummeting down outside the window. She looked so peaceful when she slept. The puffiness had faded from beneath her eyes from sleep, but I could hear the slight stutter of her breathing every minutes. She had been asleep for hours, so why was she still hiccupping in her sleep? The answers weren't at all clear.
Edward paced in his room, nearly wearing a hole in his floor. He felt responsible for scaring her, which would have been a reasonable explanation had she not already been traumatized by the Volturi.
I didn't understand these newly found antics. The law of our world was for humans to never know what we were or face death. So was this one human girl really worth the breaking of laws by the ones who created these laws? No, she wasn't, but apparently, Aro thought otherwise. This human girl was but a speck of dust compared to the widely ranged and complicated history of our kind and it was ludicrous to waste our energy trying to protect her from herself and the world just so she could become immortal. She didn't want it, so why torture her anymore? I spared her a pitiful glance. From her attitude, she didn't want it.
--
Bella didn't awake until the early hours of dawn, the sun shining brightly into her room, a rare occasion for this small town. The house was quiet except for the few unnecessary breaths from the family, Alice's pencil scratching quietly against a sheet of sketching paper as she designed new clothing for Bella, Esme flipping through a cookbook in search of a recipe Bella would enjoy, Emmett watching a football game and scoffing at the players and their abilities, Rosalie's hair swishing back and forth as she looked at her appearance in the vanity, Edward listening to music through his headphones, and Jasper swiftly typing into the computer in search of new information on Isabella Swan. Jasper had always been the more accurate when it came to uncovering old information.
As the young girl stirred, I stepped closer to the bed, sure to make the silent footfalls a bit louder so she would be aware of my presence. As she sat up in the bed, I was surprised to see that she didn't stare at me with frightened eyes as she had earlier on in the night. Instead, she rubbed her eyes with her palms and looked at me with wide yet tired eyes. Her pupils seemed larger and more childlike, as if she was staring at me in wonder. It wouldn't have been a surprising thing…if this had been someone besides Bella.
After a few moments of staring at me, unashamed, she did something surprising to me and the seventeen-year-old vampire down the hall.
She smiled a large, wide grin at me.
Her lips were pulled into a dimpled grin and her eyes sparkled happily. She hopped off the bed only to trip over…nothing? She landed on her knees and only giggled at it. She giggled?! Nearly everything in the house went silent. The only sounds were the little alto-pitched giggles and Rosalie's hair swishing again as she ignored Bella pointedly. It seemed like the entire family was curious, all whispering silently to each other in hope of some sort of explanation, maybe a sign that they had missed something that I had said or done to this girl to make her laugh.
She stood quickly, blushing and looking down but still grinning. After her face cleared, for the most part, she smiled at me again only to walk up to me and hug me around the waist. I froze, worried. What happened to the violent and quick-tongued girl we had brought home yesterday with her hard gaze and even harder shell? It seemed like every ounce of her anger had diminished and was replaced with felicity. She looked up at me and smiled again. "Mornin' Carlie," she giggled before releasing me. Quite honestly, I was almost a bit afraid. Seeing a seventeen year old teenage girl acting like a seven year old girl wasn't normal, even for someone as old as me. Edward seemed to agree seeing as he quickly yet quietly walked into the room with a cautious look on his face.
EPOV
Carlisle's thoughts were at the acme of worry. Bella was sitting on her bed with her legs crossed beneath her, humming a soft and quiet tune that didn't really mix well but was childlike and light. She was twisting her hair around her fingers playfully, braiding it and unbraiding it. The behavior was fit for a young child, maybe six or seven years old. Carlisle seemed to agree.
Edward, I think we should run a check of her mental stability. Even the tranquilizer couldn't have done this. We can't take her to a doctor. If she says something wrong or too revealing, it could mean trouble, Carlisle thought logically. I nodded to him and decided that it was best that the others go hunting. It was sunny anyway. We couldn't go into public either way and I thought maybe, if Bella had been a bit more sane, that she would like her privacy. Alice saw my decision and quickly ushered the others out of the house. They left quickly, Rosalie the first out of the house and Esme the last; she worried that Bella wouldn't get her needed nutrition.
Bella was watching me with a curious look on her face, a look that showed no anger or resentment towards me. Her gaze didn't waver when I looked directly back at her, but a dark crimson blush did cover her cheeks, neck and ears thoroughly. But rather than shying away, she scooted closer towards the edge of her bed; much like a child would press their face to the glass of a lion's pen in the zoo. The act unnerved me a bit seeing as normally, people shied away from our kind.
"Good morning Edward. How was your sleep?" She laughed childishly again as if it was some kind of inside joke. Then again, maybe it was.
"Bella," Carlisle called calmly with a small, almost belittling smile on his face. "Do you think you can answer some questions?" Bella seemed to look thoughtful for a moment before nodding carefully, a cautious yet intrigued look on her face. Carlisle smiled a bit friendlier now but it still held a false air. Whatever was wrong was worrying him.
"Okay Bella," he said, sitting down on the floor in front of her bed. She stood carefully as if checking each of her steps before sitting down on the floor with him, leaving me the only one standing. Bella seemed to notice this and patted the floor beside her, looking at me expectantly. I responded by distancing myself about a foot away from her and sitting with my legs crossed on the floor. Her scent, still painfully mouthwatering and deliciously tempting, was only being warded off by my curiosity. The hunt yesterday was enough to ward off whatever unnecessary temptation but it was still there, burning like a branding iron in my throat. I swallowed back the collection venom in my mouth, just barely able to hide the cringe as it stung through.
"Bella, do you remember where you are?" She nodded slowly, eying us with a questioning look. "I'm in Forks." Carlisle nodded. "Do you remember why?"
Bella's face went blank, her eyes wide and glassy again, like they had been last night. Her brows furrowed as a frown set on her face and she shook her head. Her fingers combed through her hair as she thought and a look of frustration flashed her eyes. I already wished to know why she was struggling so much to remember. It had just happened yesterday.
With a final exhale through her nose, Bella looked back at us. "I can't remember. Why can't I remember?" Her tone was almost anxious, as if this recognition had allowed a few of the puzzle pieces to fall into place but had only filled in the borders and left her wondering what the picture was.
Carlisle didn't look at me. Edward, I'm no psychiatrist but I'm pretty sure I know what this is. PSTD. I didn't respond or even make a move, but my eyes mentally widened.
"Bella, we're going to make you something for breakfast, okay? Is there anything you'd like?" Bella merely shook her head and turned away from us, her eyes wide and a frown upon her lips. She was mumbling to herself, "Why can't I remember? What's wrong with me?"
Carlisle and I quickly exited the room, not speaking until we had made down to the kitchen as a slow pace. As soon as we reached the countertop, Carlisle turned to me.
"Edward, whatever happened last night pushed her into this. I can only guess that years of stress would do this to her. We contributed to this of course. If we had just left her alone during the night terror, there is a good chance she would be fine. The Volturi didn't say she had these kinds of problems but they also never said they didn't have a human girl under their wing. They must not have interfered. Dear god, this is insane!" Carlisle was now pacing, his hand running through his hair and an exhausted look on his face. This human girl was wearing him out more than the centuries before him had.
"Carlisle, calm down. If this really is post traumatic stress disorder, then there should be a way to pull her out of this illusion. Her mind is protecting her again. The only way we can help her out of this is to ease her into it. Maybe something will trigger her memories." Carlisle's eyes instantly brightened and images of a little shabby looking white house popped into his mind. There was a large oak outside the upstairs window and a plain oak door leading into the home, the trees and weeds overgrown and untended. The downstairs windows were broken and seemed fitting for a horror film. As I was about to ask Carlisle what he was showing me, he interrupted.
"Edward, that's her father's home. Jasper was doing some research and it turns out her father was the police chief of this town seven years ago before his mysterious disappearance…" he trailed off, leaving me to figure out the rest. It wasn't that difficult. I stared at him in a horrifying awe. I had known about her parents but the severity of the situation was all becoming so much clearer now. Carlisle stared on solemnly.
"We'll see what she wants to do next. If we take this too fast, it could push her farther into this little hallucination her mind has put before her. She needs to eat something. No need to have her passing out on us. Esme would be furious." Carlisle went to the never-before-used refrigerator and pulled out eggs and butter. He silently instructed me to make her toast in the new toaster. The smell of eggs cooking behind me while I waited impatiently for the too slow metal box to cook the bread was putrid. But, when Carlisle had finished and plated the food for her, it looked much like the food a human would eat.
--
Bella had only consumed bits and pieces of her toast, her eyes never leaving a single spot on the carpeted floor of her room and her eyes never drifting up to our faces. Every bite she had taken was slow and paced, as if she was savoring the meal without actually tasting it. This made me cautious. What thoughts were coursing through her mind at this moment? Were they questioning the same things we were?
As soon as she finished, Bella seemed to be searching for something. When Carlisle asked if she needed anything, she blushed and mumbled, "Paper and pencil please." Carlisle quickly retrieved the items from the drawer beside her bed and handed it to her. She took it cautiously, her hands careful not to glide across the edge of the pages, as if she knew what would happen if they did. This too made me wonder what was going through her head. Not that I wasn't always wondering.
She lied on the floor, the pad of paper opened neatly in front of her. As soon as the pencil touched the page, she was quickly scrawling lines across the page, different shades of onyx graphite filling in the lines. Quickly, the lines began forming looming figures across the page. And as the page filled out, she turned to the next and began filling it as well. After an hour of her non-stop drawing, she hesitantly placed her pencil back onto the carpet, the once sharp point now dulled into the compacted wood and the eraser untouched. She pulled the five pages she had used out of the pad and lined them up in front of her, her finger tracing the lines. The smell of saline filled the air again.
"I don't remember who they are," she murmured, her voice slightly choked, "but they are important." There were dark cloaked figures standing in the first picture, all looking ominous and dangerous as they seemed to stare directly at you. The second picture was of two people laying side by side, their arms and legs twisted in odd angles and what looked like large wounds on their necks, their eyes the darkest shade on the page. The third and fourth pictures were both similar to the second except for the angles and the addition of the cloaked figures eying the bodies. As for the fifth, there was a small girl being bitten on the neck by another, child-like girl in a dark cloak.
"I'm an idiot." I stared at her in surprise but she took no notice. "I can't even remember who these people are and yet I'm drawing them as they die. Does this make me a sick person?" I shook my head, unable to answer her with anything else. She smiled sadly at me. "I need to remember. You know that and you know where I will find the answers, so I think now would be a good time to show me whatever it is you are going to show me."
--
The drive to the home in Carlisle's thoughts was painful. My throat burned and my hands clenched the steering wheel tightly as the air in the Volvo was contaminated with the sweet scent of freesia and lavender. Carlisle had offered to take her, but I needed to get over this insufferable need for her blood. She didn't seem to notice but I wouldn't have put it past her to keep it to herself. She had been silent the entire ride, never looking away from the road in front of her. She sat awkwardly, her hands twisting in her lap but never revealing any expressions on her face.
The house was exactly like it had been in Carlisle's mind. How could I have not noticed what Jasper was thinking about the entire night? The once white exterior was now off-white, the weeds growing wild over the concrete, cutting through the cracks in the sidewalk.
The thought of bringing this girl to this place just to regain her memories didn't flow well with me. There was the smell of other humans that still lingered in this house, humans that had entered without invitation due to the obvious lack of life. But Bella looked at it in wonder, her eyes glazed over and unseeing. She stepped out of the car without a word and walked on forward. Twigs and leaves cracked beneath her feet but instead of caring, she started running towards the house, her feet tripping over themselves and the cracks in the ground. I called to her, confused but she didn't answer me. Instead, she stuck her hand up into the eave of the porch and found something that I wouldn't have suspected to be there.
A copper key that was perfectly fitting for the door.
Without a word, she turned the lock, the tumblers clicking into place, and swung the door open, its hinges creaking with old age and rust. The smell of mold and wet wood didn't seem to bother her. She didn't make a single sound when she saw the dusty inside, the walls all a dull color of beige and gray. The lights wouldn't turn on. It was to be expected seeing as this house hadn't been the home to anyone for seven years. Bella ran her hand over the old couch that looked like it had seen better days, ignoring the fact that her hand had been covered in cobwebs and dust. She just continued looking over the things in the house. She stopped in the kitchen for awhile longer than the living room.
She eyed the mismatched furniture that surrounded the table and the yellow cabinets with the cracked paint and rotten wood. Without a word, she began exploring the rest of the house, going up the stairs and finding a room that smelled distinctly of her, a faint and innocent smell that would have blinded my senses had I not been surrounded by it mere moments before. The wallpaper was an antique looking baby blue color, a color meant for a child's nursery. There was an old rocking chair in the corner and a mattress-less bed frame in the corner of the room but nothing else. She frowned at the room, but never said anything.
The last room was just past the bathroom near her room. As she placed her hand on the door, the tendons in her hand began turning white from the amount of force she was using to grasp the doorknob. With unnecessary force, she pushed the door open, her feet stumbling on the way. I didn't catch her this time, somehow knowing she wouldn't appreciate it. She didn't need it though. As she stumbled into the room, a sense of familiarity seemed to take over her persona.
There was a more distinct smell in this room, a smell that had a hint of Bella's unique floral scent but seemed much nuttier, like almonds. Bella went up to the bed and grabbed the dusty pillow, dusting it off before holding it to her nose.
I didn't realize that she was sobbing until the smell of her tears made it through the moisture in the air. She was shoving her face into the pillow, gasping for breath and clawing desperately at the cotton.
"I can't believe I killed him! I'm a murderer, I'm worse than them…I…I wish they would have survived! I wish they would have killed me instead." She looked up at me with large, tired eyes that were surrounded by the dark circles that I had noticed earlier, more prominent due to her now puffy eyes and red cheeks. "Why didn't they kill me?" she whispered sadly, more tears escaping her eyes.
For that, I didn't have an answer.
A/N (READ THIS NOW: I swear, I never meant to take so long. For those of you who haven't heard, my laptop has a virus. Which means that every time a pop-up makes its way to my screen, I have to shut down and restart. But that isn't the reason why I have taken so long. I have other computers in my house that I can sneak onto (even though I would get in a huge amount of trouble if I get caught). No, the reason is simple: stress.
You'd be surprised to know that I actually have a life that doesn't revolve around fan fiction. That life revolves around school. Sad, huh? Well, I when the new semester started, I didn't expect to have much trouble. Well, I was completely wrong. Pre-calculus is much harder than I bargained for. And what's worse is the result of the stress that I've gotten from my pre-cal class.
You may not know this, but I actually had pretty clear skin, I finally got rid of a psoriasis problem that I had last year (it kind of looks like dandruff on my scalp but it's much harder to deal with), my hair had been being really nice to me, and I had been losing weight. But all of that changed when I started…..pre-cal. –shudders-
A week after the new semester started, I broke out on my chin (it's kind of a weird place to break out), my psoriasis came back, my hair started splitting at the ends and so I had to cut it shorter (which sucks since I've been trying to grow it out) and my weight has been at a stand still. Plus, I caught the flu which made me feel crappy. I still have a cough. Grrrr….
Anyway, so yeah, my life is kind of sucking right now. Plus, I have this weird rash on my neck that starts turning red and itchy every time I get nervous. Which is hard to deal with since I get nervous a lot now. It sucks and I just wish my pre-cal teacher would die. I don't hate the subject. It itself didn't do anything but my teacher is horrible. He doesn't teach me anything and whenever I ask for help, he reads from the book. I mean, honestly, I COULD HAVE DONE THAT!!!! And he owns one of my favorite bargain stores that I like to shop at so whenever I go there, I have to duck behind shelves so he won't see me and talk to me about class. Then my mom will overhear and will start questioning me once we get in the car. I don't need that. Okay, sorry, I'm venting.
Well, I do have good news. For anyone that lives in the Rio Grande Valley (Texas), there is this amazing store called Simply Elegant downtown on Jackson Street in Harlingen. The clothes are all from different countries like Indonesia, China, Cuba and other places like that. The prices are really low and the place itself looks elegant and just amazing. The owner (whose name I just forgot) has asked me to help her choose clothes for the store that will fit girls my age and size. She'll be calling later this week for me to come in and help her out. I'm kind of excited.
Anyway, that is one of the longest A/N's I've ever written. I'll try my best to update soon but I really need to focus on school. Plus, I have to learn how to play my solo by tomorrow. I have a concert on Thursday that my teacher sprung on me last week and I am not prepared.
And please, please, please review! I know you all must hate that I took so long but I said I was sorry and I really mean it. That wasn't just an apology for getting me off the hook. It was completely sincere. Plus, this chapter was based on some real experiences with me and what happens when stress REALLY takes over. It's all totally possible.
-Sovoyita a.k.a Laura
Oh yeah, for those of you who haven't looked at my profile or don't have me on author alert, I'd just like to let you know that I have a few other stories out that you may or may not know about that I would appreciate if you read them. Here they are:
Nothing Says 'I Love You' Like an Amber Alert (funniest story I've ever written)
Human Trafficking (becoming a big hit with the reviewers of rated M stories)
Blinding Lights (my first major fan fiction and probably the favorite amongst readers of my stories)
Two Minutes to End, Two Minutes to Begin (not my favorite story ever but I still like it)
And there's more for anyone who cares to know!
