A/N: See! I told you there was more than one IMSV update in your inbox! Anyway, this chapter, I'm focusing on Carlisle and Edward. They too are important. You'll realize that through a majority of the story, I will keep to three POVs: Carlisle, Edward, and Bella. I really don't want to dwell on the other characters at this time. I mean, I love them, but for this, I think if you all see through the eyes of Bella, Edward, and Carlisle, you'll get a better understanding of how deep they all really are. Plus, I just like listening to Carlisle and Edward talk in my head. It's a very interesting experience. Lots of convo in this chapter. Hope it doesn't bore you.

Disclaimer: Oh crap, is it time for another creative disclaimer? Uh…uh….uhhhhh….ugh, forget it. I don't own Twilight. My brain died after typing for six hours straight anyway.

CHAPTER 8: PRIDE, SHAME AND HEARTBEATS

CPOV

Throughout the house, uneven heartbeats stuttered along loudly, a pulsing beat in my ear. The family was out hunting again without Edward, Jasper having taken leave almost immediately after they had arrived back from their first hunt. The sound of the girl's heartbeat was too much for him, especially the feel of her fear in the air. She was having a nightmare.

Listening to her, I had heard her trying to keep awake. She would growl under her breath every time it would even out, her heart beat slowing slightly before she remembered that she had to stay awake and it spiked again. She had done that for about twenty-nine minutes before failing to reawaken.

I tried to be optimistic, to be glad that she was here and underneath my roof, the safest place in the world for this Volturi child. In the home of vampires that were able to protect her better than her last caretakers could. It meant my peace of mind that she wasn't back in Italy. That's all I could ask for at the moment.

"I don't see how that idea can bring you peace of mind. It's hardly logical," Edward stated calmly as he entered my open study, his fist knocking the wood of the door once as he entered. I smiled at him, a sad and unsure smile. That was something I wasn't to, being so unsure.

"It doesn't give me peace of mind. But I have to think that it will once I realize she is better off here than she is anywhere else. Here, at least no one would look to think of her here, excluding the Volturi. Our family is easily ignored by the locals. They will not expect anything from Bella except that maybe she is a new installment to our already large family." I rubbed my temples, wishing that the space I did have in my head wouldn't fill up so easily with the countless thoughts of the girl.

"Edward, I'm not entirely sure, but I think I am getting a headache. Is that even possible?" I asked hypothetically, watching the dust motes pass through the room, trying and failing to focus on something else.

"Not for the normal ones, it's not," he smirked into his reply and I laughed, trying and easily failing to rid myself of this new pain in my head. It wasn't physical at all, but it was unpleasant. I didn't like it.

"You'll get used to it. I had to once that buzzing started in my head. And then after Rosalie and Emmett got married…." I shook my head and held my hand up for him to stop. I didn't want to remember what that decade was like. He laughed lightly, his head tilted toward the hallway; listening.

"I worry about her," he murmured, looking down. "What they've done to her, what she's seen. It's not natural for her to have taken it so well. She should have gone into a catatonic state by now or something. What happened this morning shouldn't have surprised me, but it did," he shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "I'm surprised she's even still alive. You've heard of those people Carlisle. Literally dying from sorrow and broken hearts. They wither away to nothing, even if they are kept eating and breathing, they just die away. That's hasn't happened to her. What could possibly keep her alive after all this time…" he trailed off, his eyes still closed. His shoulders slumped slightly and he looked tired, as tired as I felt.

"I like to believe that everything happens for a reason, but for the first time, I'm not so sure. She's as much of a mystery to me as she is to you," I replied. Medical mysteries I could handle. I could handle living with a special family like the one I had help create. But this girl made me want to smash my own head against my desk until I got the answers I needed.

"The desk is an antique, Dad. I don't think Esme will appreciate its destruction," he stated factually before smiling again. It was strange, seeing him smile so much. Plus, he normally didn't call me "Dad". Of course, I knew he thought of me as his father, he just never outwardly expressed it as much.

"I don't know why I'm feeling so…upbeat. I suppose, having one person inside the house that I can't understand, though it's frustrating, it's…different." He shook his head. "I hate thinking of her as a puzzle to be solved. It reminds me too much of Aro. He wanted to see how her gift…after the transformation, would be. Since they've lost Eleazar, they aren't very sure of what she could be. He looks at her like a prize that he has won. Carlisle," he said softly, "I understand that you have a certain respect for Aro and the Volturi, but I can't really understand now how you can still think of them that way. It's monstrous of them to have kept her alive for so long. Against her will no less. There's got to be something against their rules that would rule out keeping her alive. Surely," I shook my head.

"No, they are going to change her. As long as she is part of our world, she is safe from any rule they have created. Aro knows that she fears him. He plans on keeping her alive for eternity, or at least as long as he is in power, which, as you well know, will probably be for eternity. That's what she fears the most, I believe. Living for eternity with those that she loathes the most," the thought made me nearly cringe. It reminded me of my loneliness before I had changed Edward. It had been a dreary time, though I had already met with the Volturi and lived with them for a time. Having a companion, a son, was what I had longed for and Edward was perfect. But the thought of changing someone who would never want this life, who truly would be cursed to survive like those she hated, it was painful.

Those whom I had changed were all on the verge of death when I had bitten them. There was no hope for them. Bella was healthy and full of fire, despite it being repeatedly extinguished by the Volturi. It made me think, what if she had never crossed lines with the Volturi? Would she have lived a long, full life, found a husband, had children and grandchildren? It was a life that I knew we all wished we could have had, especially Rosalie. None of us ever had the chance to have a family, a full human family where we were all happy and had the option of living or dying, of not being ruled by this painful thirst that took years to gain enough control over.

"Alice went to the bank today," Edward said, taking my mind away from the darker thoughts I hadn't had in so long. "Both Mrs. Gerandy and Mrs. Stanley were in. We won't have to worry about spreading around gossip about our new family member. They both overheard her speaking rather loudly as she "subtly" mentioned her new sister," he rolled his eyes. "She practically yelled it out. She's more excited than she's let on. She's excited about having a human in the house. She says she's never had much interaction with them." He sighed and leaned against the wall casually, looking at me curiously.

"I don't think I've actually ever seen you looking so exhausted, truly. It almost makes you look human." I pointedly stared at him and then smiled easily.

"I suppose, now that Bella is around, we will all be looking more human. I suppose stress does that us. I myself don't remember those memories of my human life. I'm just glad I can work so much. Dr. Gerandy isn't getting any younger, you know. He may be retiring in a few years. For now, I'll just be taking as many night shifts as possible." I sighed and looked at my watch. I had looked at it approximately thirty-seven times today. Before today, I hadn't looked at it in weeks. There was never a need before now.

"Bella doesn't have papers or any form of identification. Has Jasper already spoken with Mr. Jenks?" I asked. He nodded.

"Yes, as soon as he found out about Bella's arrival, he went to get the paperwork. I really do think J.J. is going to have a stroke one of these days. The fear Jasper has been shooting at him is becoming a bit much. I'm quite surprised he hasn't snapped yet," he said quietly. A faint rustling of fabric from the other room echoed in my ears. Edward's head tilted again, listening in closely. Bella's heart spiked before falling back into a calming beat. He sighed again. "Jasper will be picking up the papers on Wednesday morning. We can sign her in then. Unfortunately, we can't use her real name. I hadn't realized before that people still remember Charlie Swan. They thought he had gone off and eloped with his ex-wife. He still has friends here," he trailed off, his voice taking on a thoughtful and yet aggressive edge. "Jasper wasn't sure what else to call her. She now officially has a new name, illegal, but official. Isabella Marie Swan Volturi," he growled under his breath, "is now our new family member. Jasper decided that allowing her to keep her last name was fine but it would only be an initial. As for the name "Volturi"…that wasn't his choice. Aro has been wanting Bella to be marked under his ownership ever since he discovered her. He had requested that we give her this name. And whatever Aro wants, Aro gets."

It was almost silly how we had both become so protective over this little human. I wondered if, had the others seen what we had, they would have been just as protective. Esme was already attached, thinking of ways to make Bella more at home and more relaxed. Their awkward introductions hadn't swayed her in the least. Though she was hurt, she was still hoping that she could find a way to make Bella happy. I smiled at how caring she was, so loving of those who she knew needed her. It would seem that my love for her would never stop growing.

Edward smiled from the corner of my eye, nodding in agreement with me. As for Alice, I could see why she was so excited. Someone new and human for her to play with, a new sister. Had she already had a vision of a growing friendship? Whatever Alice had seen, I was sure that she would make it work in her favor. As for Emmett, I was sure that he would find something about her to amuse him. He always had found humans humorous at one point or another. Rosalie, as far as I could tell, would not be happy about the new, temporary installment to our family. Her jealousy was solely based on the fact that the Volturi found this one girl so important. Therefore, if she was important to the Volturi, she knew how important she would be to us. Vanity was ruling her emotions for Bella. Jasper would be wary of the entire situation. Bella's blood was tempting most to Edward, that I could tell, but it still had a very pleasant scent to me. For Jasper, though he was not likely to focus on the scent as much as its pulsing, wet beat—

Edward groaned and covered his mouth with his hand, his face pained. His jaw and fists were clenched tight and he looked about ready to bite his knuckle, his eyes so dark that I almost couldn't see pupil within the black. He glared at me over his hand-covered mouth.

"I apologize, Edward. I wasn't being very considerate of your comfort. I shan't think about it anymore."

He grumbled through his teeth, "It's too late now." He crossed his arms tightly over his chest, clenching them together, and then relaxed his taut muscles. Slowly, he took in a deep breath through his nose. His nostrils flared and his eyes flashed dangerously to the open door before he focused in on my face. After a moment, he able to relax enough that he could put his arms back at his sides. His fists were still clenched, but it was better now. I could barely see the white tendons straining in his loose fist. His eyes were still dark, but they had lightened to an amber color, the gold just starting to shine through. Pride ran through me. He was getting stronger; he could handle it.

His eyes rolled again. "Yes, it's truly an accomplishment that I haven't killed the human girl upstairs," he muttered sarcastically. "It's disappointing. More than a century of being around humans and I can't even control myself around this one girl. I don't know if I can handle even being in such close proximity with her for too long."

"Nonetheless, I'm proud that you haven't lost yourself. After all, it has been years since…" I didn't finish my sentence. Neither of us wanted to think of that time.

He frowned and then grimaced beneath that frown. His eyes closed and his pinched the bridge of his nose again.

"You don't understand, Carlisle. I did lose control of myself. When we were in Volterra, while I was with Bella…I tasted human blood. I couldn't control myself. I could feel it, on my lips, the heat…." He shook his head ashamedly. "I gave into my desires and nearly killed her. I would have killed her had you not stopped me. I still want to kill her, every second, it's like something is pulling me to go to her room and just take it. It's as if my mind is reasoning with me, telling me that I'll be giving her death, exactly what she wants. It's telling me it's okay. I am always just so close…"

I stood and walked around my desk to my son, placing my hand on his shoulder.

"We can't always control what rules us, Edward. Desiring something doesn't make you weak. Letting it completely rule you doesn't mean anything. It just means that you are stronger now that you've pushed through it. No matter what, I will think of you as my son, whether you lose yourself or not. Either way, I will not think any less of you."

He nodded, his eyes looking wary of my words. His head once again tilted toward the hall, listening to the still calm heartbeat.

"I'm afraid that that sound will now be the most significant sound in my life for quite some time," he murmured quietly before leaving me alone in my office.

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A/N: Okay, moderately long chapter there. There was lots of dialogue in this one, that's why it's long. I hope I allowed you all to get into Carlisle's and Edward's head. I think this is one of my favorite chapters. I like that I could finally get into Carlisle's mind a bit and toy around with his thoughts. You all may not realize it, but I never really get a chance to look into Carlisle in my other stories. Everyone else gets a pretty big point of focus, but never Carlisle or Esme. Maybe later I'll do Esme's POV. Anyway, I'll try and update again soon. In May, I have AP exams, so things may get a bit…bleh. I have been slacking on homework this Easter break, so I hope you're all happy that my grades are slowly slipping down. Plus, I've been slacking on my creative writing and my mom is pissed off. She has banned me from writing my fan fiction stories, that's why I was so cut off for awhile. I was horrified when I found out I couldn't update. She said that if I had time to write and yet I didn't have time to eat (hence the fact that I have anemia), then I should spend more time readjusting my priorities. Which is correct, but I don't really care. Anemia isn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be. I'm losing weight regularly, I can actually sleep since I'm lacking the proper nutrients to power my insomnia, and I'm pale (I look way better when I'm pale anyway).

Okay, this AN is getting too long. Please review, please! Also, I'd like to point something out. Some authors have really long chapters according to the little scroll bar on the right side of the page. Well, if you look at their paragraphs, most of the time, you'll realize that there are two lines before a space and then another two lines. My paragraphs are mostly longer than that. I would appreciate it if I didn't get any heat for having too short chapters. This chapter has a lot of substance after all and it has quite a bit of important information that will come into play later in the story.

Again, REVIEW!