Chapter Seventeen: Explosion
Logan
April 25
I closed my eyes and let the hot water run down the top of my head, down my back. It wasn't terribly early, probably about seven-thirty in the morning, but I felt exhausted. Mary Anne and I had spent the past week calming the screaming nightmares that had popped up since Stacey had received that phone call from Teddy Thomas. At first she had several a night and had even given poor little Kaylee, who could hear her from the downstairs apartment, a couple of her own nightmares from being awakened with screaming. So, Mary Anne and I had taken turns spending the night with Stacey, in her bed, holding her and soothing her tears after she had another nightmare. Last night was my night again.
I heard the door open to the bathroom and opened my eyes.
"It's just me," Mary Anne said just loud enough to be heard over the pouring water. "I have to do some things in here before I head off to Kristy's. You know, I have to baby-sit for eight kids today since Kristy's parents are in Hartford for the long weekend. They left Andrew, Emily Michelle, and Grace over at Kristy's. I guess Andrew was pretty annoyed about the whole thing since he is fifteen and wanted to be left at home with David Michael, Benny, and Karen. But, to be fair, Andrew and Emily Michelle are getting paid this week to help watch over Kristy's kids."
I squirted a blob of shampoo onto my hand. "So, why don't they watch the kids? Andrew and Emily Michelle are good with the kids."
"Well," Mary Anne replied, "I guess that Kristy just wants an adult around to watch over everything, especially with baby Charlie in the house. I mean, they will be gone the whole day today then Kristy is leaving for an overnight with one of her friends from college while Pete has to work this weekend. I mean, Kristy and Pete will be close by, but they just wanted to make sure that another adult was in on the whole mix."
"I would've just left them with Karen and her brothers," I told her. "It's way too complicated this way."
"Well, I think Elizabeth and Watson wanted the three oldest kids to have some free time by themselves this weekend. I mean, they will be heading off to college in the fall; it's nice for them to have some parent-free time to start to warm up to the idea."
"Don't you think it's funny that Karen and David Michael are both going to the same college?" I asked. "And, that Benny's college is only twenty minutes away from theirs?"
"Those three are about as close as any three kids that I've ever seen," she admitted. I could hear the sink water running and knew that she was pausing to brush her teeth. "I mean, they're so much closer than I ever was even with Dawn."
"Well, Dawn flopped back and forth between here and California."
"Still, Dawn and I were best friends. I don't know… I just think it's funny how close the three of them are." There came the sound of some quick, hard brushing. "Maybe it's different when you grow up together and see each other every single day."
"Yeah," I replied, thinking about my own siblings. "I ought to call my brother and sister. Or my mom. See how everyone is doing."
"That's a good idea," Mary Anne said thoughtfully. "I should check in with Dawn and Jeff."
The door opened and closed again quickly. I heard Mary Anne set down her toothbrush and heard the familiar sound of her brushing out her hair. I almost jumped when the shower curtain swept aside enough for Stacey to slide into the shower. I smiled at her. She had a thick gray towel wrapped around her. She wiggled her eyebrows and let the towel drop to the ground.
"Good morning," she said in a sexy, just woken up voice. I swallowed and looked her up and down appreciatively.
"Good morning yourself. What did I do to deserve this little surprise?"
"Well, you're about to earn it," she replied. She stepped up close to me and the spray of the water misted the skin on her face and chest. I felt myself harden in anticipation. "What do you say to that?"
I replied by cupping her face in my hands and pressing a hard kiss down onto her lips. Stacey immediately swept her hands into my wet hair and I felt myself back her up against the wall. She let out a muffled "oof" and giggled.
There was a loud slam of plastic hitting the porcelain sink. We both froze as I head Mary Anne let out an annoyed huff before jerking the door open and slamming it behind her. Stacey looked up at me with big, baffled eyes.
"What was that about?" she asked.
"I don't know," I answered honestly. Stacey pushed me back away from her gently.
"I'll go talk to her," she said. I caught her hand.
"No, let me. I have a feeling that it's me who's in the doghouse again," I said, not sure whether to be concerned about Mary Anne or just to feel annoyed.
I ducked out of the shower, leaving it running as Stacey stood under the hot spray, and wrapped a clean, white towel around my waist, tucking it in to make sure that it didn't fall down. I walked out of the bathroom and out of our bedroom, following Mary Anne downstairs even though I was dripping wet and still had shampoo in my hair.
"Mary Anne," I called out, taking the stairs two at a time. When I reached the bottom, Mary Anne was pulling her hair into a ponytail. She was already wearing her light, warm-weather denim jacket and her pink and gray sneakers. She looked at me with a kind of anger in her eyes. "Whoa. What is going on?"
"Nothing, Logan," she sighed. "I just have a big day to deal with."
"Yeah, but why did you storm out all of a sudden when Stacey came into the bathroom?" I asked. Mary Anne rolled her eyes. "Are you angry with her?"
"I don't really want to talk about it, all right?" she said, acting like she was already drained from talking with me.
"Mary Anne…"
"Gotta go," she replied quickly and swung her backpack onto her back. "I don't want to be late."
"Well, goodbye then," I said, opening my arms to her and starting towards her. She turned towards the door.
"Yeah, OK," she said and walked out the front door, slamming it behind her. I flinched.
What was going on?
The thought stayed in my mind as I leaned back in my chair at my desk. Across from me, my partner was typing away furiously at his computer. I glanced at him, wondering only for a moment what he was working on so hard, before closing my eyes and sighing. I tried to picture Mary Anne's face in my head; tried to analyze the lines and angles of her expression before she had left that morning.
Her eyes had looked so tired, like she was battling something. I knew that Stacey's nightmares had given us both a week or so with interrupted sleep, but I didn't think that Mary Anne had been so affected by it. She had been looking all right before the past couple of days. Maybe it was just the wear and tear of poor sleep on her mind, but I couldn't help wondering if there was something else going on.
Stacey had been showing the signs of fatigue and fear more so than she usually did. She had dark circles under her eyes and she had stopped brushing her hair again, something she had done following the night of the blizzard. I knew that Stacey was probably worrying herself sick again, but besides trying to comfort and ease her worries, there wasn't much I could do.
"Bruno!" Bruce hissed. My eyes snapped open.
"What is it?" I snapped, annoyed at being interrupted.
Bruce frowned. "Were you sleeping?"
"Thinking," I replied. "I like to close my eyes when I think."
"Yeah, right," Bruce said with a smile. "That's what you were doing. Late night?"
I sighed. Bruce was married with two little kids. He frequently reminded me that I was his connection to the single life and he delighted in knowing what I was up to with Mary Anne. I hadn't even told him about Stacey yet.
"Ashgrove, can I ask you a question?" I asked seriously. Bruce leaned forward and nodded.
"Sure, man, anything."
"Well… I had a fight, at least, I think it was a fight, with Mary Anne this morning."
"What does that mean?"
"She slammed around and snapped at me before slamming out the front door to go to her friend's."
Bruce raised his eyebrows. "What'd you do?"
"That's the thing… I can't even think of anything!"
Bruce shook his head, his floppy blonde hair falling into his eyes like the hunky teenager I knew he still thought he was. "You must've done something, Logan, otherwise she wouldn't have had a cow."
Damn it. I had to tell him about Stacey. Otherwise, he wouldn't understand the situation.
"Well, there's this catch, Bruce…" I looked down at my hands. They were tightened into balls on top of my desk. "See, Stacey and I started sleeping together."
"Bullshit!" Bruce gasped. I looked up at him and wasn't too surprised at his expression of shock and disgust. "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Well, see, it just kind of happened. Mary Anne was still sick from the rape and we just… well, you know." He shrugged. "Anyways, we tried to keep it a secret, tried to stop, everything, but nothing worked so we ended up telling Mary Anne about it."
"Is that what today was about?"
"No," I said with a sigh. "We told her about us and then Mary Anne said that since she still loved me, she would be willing to share me with Stacey."
"Some guys have all the luck," Bruce groaned, running his fingers back through his hair. It fell back over his forehead. "They both agreed to be with you, even though they knew about the other girl?"
"Yeah."
"So what happened this morning that was any different?"
"Mary Anne and I were talking in the bathroom and while I was in the shower, Stacey slipped in. We were about to start making out when Mary Anne just stormed out."
Bruce shook his head. "Well, duh. Mary Anne isn't happy about this at all. She sounds pissed and jealous."
"She said she wasn't," I replied. "She says she's fine about this."
Bruce stood up and shook his head. "No way. I'm surprised she didn't leave you two sooner. How long has she been putting up with this?"
I felt anger rise up in my chest. "She hasn't been 'putting up' with anything. She's happy."
"Doesn't sound like it."
"Well, what do you know?" I snapped, getting to my feet.
"All I know, is that if I tried that with my wife, she'd have my clothes out on the lawn before we left the house again."
He didn't know Stacey or Mary Anne the way I did. He didn't know what the three of us had been through together. He had no idea what he was talking about.
"Shut up," I growled.
Bruce narrowed his eyes. "Hey, you brought this screwed up stuff up anyways, Bruno."
Before I knew what I was doing, I was moving fast around the desk to shove Bruce in the chest. He shoved right back, and harder, too. Suddenly, there were shouts and yelling all around the station house and I felt my arms being pulled back. I was being dragged back from Bruce, who looked like he wanted to punch me in the face.
"What the hell is all this?" Chief D'Yaeger shouted up over the commotion. "Ashgrove! Bruno! Break it up!"
He stormed over to where we were facing off, looked back and forth between the two of us then faced me. His eyes were a strange combination of anger and sympathy. I knew he was still feeling bad for me about what had happened to Mary Anne. It seemed like everyone was always giving me that strange, "I'm so sorry for you" look whenever our eyes met. I frowned and shrugged the two rookies holding onto my arms off of me.
"What's going on, Logan?" D'Yaeger demanded. I looked at the ground.
"Nothing, sir. Just some words between Ashgrove and me."
Our Chief sighed. "Well, let's keep things civil, all right? We're supposed to be setting an example here and we can't do that if you're flying off the handle."
I looked back up sharply. "I didn't fly –"
"It doesn't matter what happened," Chief D'Yaeger interrupted me. "Don't let it happen again."
That said, he turned and headed back to his office. I stood still for a long moment before pushing my way back to my desk. Everyone was silently watching me. I yanked open the top drawer and pulled out my set of keys to my truck and the house. I gave Bruce a final, withering look before slamming the drawer shut and walking out of the station house.
The ride home gave me a chance to cool down. I felt annoyed now instead of angry, but it was all right. I suspected that many people would feel negatively about the relationship that I had with Mary Anne and Stacey, so I told myself that Bruce was simply one of those people. It didn't necessarily make me feel any better about the whole thing, especially my overreacting, but it at least gave me a sense of calm knowing that it was something that couldn't really be helped.
So I told myself.
I slid into the driveway and turned off the truck's rumbling engine. I sat behind the wheel, flexing my fingers every so often, as I stared at the big wooden house that we all shared. Mary Anne's car was parked in the driveway as well and I didn't know if I was up to facing off with her again. I finally unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door. There was no sense in being afraid of the woman that I loved.
A light misting rain was falling from the sky as I walked up towards the front door. It felt good on my hot skin and I slid off my jacket and loosened my tie as I walked, tilting my head back so that the rain misted my face. I climbed the wooden stairs to the front door and brought out my keys. Before I could turn them and let myself into the house, the door swung open to reveal a very distressed looking Stacey.
"What's wrong?" I asked, taking her hand. It was cold and she was trembling. She was always trembling. "What happened? Did Teddy call again?"
She shook her head. "No."
"Then, what is it?"
Stacey glanced around before leaning in closer to me. "It's Mary Anne," she whispered.
Guiding her back into the house, I kicked off my work boots in the front hall. I wrapped one arm around the blonde girl and gave her a squeeze.
"What's happening?"
Stacey looked up at me with her big blue eyes. Eyes that I couldn't say no to.
"She came home after Kristy's and was fine for a little while. She was telling me about the kids and what kinds of messes they were making all day long." Stacey smiled. "It was really nice, just to talk with her like that. But, then I mentioned how I was looking forward to seeing you tonight and she snapped at me about how I shouldn't throw myself at you like some kind of whore or something."
"She said that?" I asked in disbelief. Stacey nodded.
"She said that I was becoming shameless and for someone who was so terrified of men, I certainly didn't mind having you in my bed."
"That's so weird," I said in a hushed voice. I looked down at Stacey and wrapped my other arm around to give her a proper hug. "Shh, don't worry, honey. I'm sure that whatever this is, it'll blow over. Maybe she's just having a bad day."
"Of course, I'm having a bad day," I heard Mary Anne snap. I turned to look at her.
She was wearing a pair of dark denim jeans with a long cream colored turtleneck sweater and a pair of Mary Jane shoes on her feet. She had her hair up in a sloppy bun on her head and looked like she had been crying. I released Stacey from my arms and took a couple of steps towards my Mary Anne before she held up a warning hand.
"Stop, Logan. I don't want you to come near me."
I shook my head. "Honey, what's going on?"
"That!" Mary Anne said loudly, pointing directly at Stacey. The blonde girl seemed to shrink back. "That is what is going on!"
I quickly stepped up to her and took her elbow. Mary Anne just looked up at me angrily, but didn't pull away.
"Come on, let's go upstairs and talk about this privately," I said, remembering that Claudia and Kaylee were probably at home, pretending they couldn't hear us arguing through the walls of their small apartment. I pulled gently on Mary Anne's arm. "Come on, M-A."
She jerked her arm out of my hand. "Don't touch me! I'm not going to talk to you about this."
"Then, at least tell me what is going on!" I cried out, feeling my patience cracking.
"Come on, guys," Stacey murmured.
"Shut up!" Mary Anne yelled at her and I could hear Stacey shuffle towards the living room, obviously anxious to get away from the fight. "It's the two of you that I am so pissed off at."
"What happened?" I asked, forcing myself to remain calm and even toned. I knew that shouting back at her would only make things worse for us and everyone else in the house.
Mary Anne threw her hands up in the air.
"You slept with my best friend!" she screamed.
The room seemed to vibrate with tension. I stared back at Mary Anne with wide eyes. I had thought she was okay. She had said that she was okay. I was an idiot.
"You were never okay with it, were you?" I asked softly, after a long minute passed.
Mary Anne's lower lip trembled. "No, I never was. I said I was because I wanted to stay with you. Because I was scared to be without you. But, after seeing Stacey just step into the shower with you, right in front of me, I couldn't stand it anymore."
"Honey –"
"No, Logan! You have no idea what these past few months have been like for me, have you? You have no idea!"
"You're absolutely right," I agreed. "I have no idea, but if we talk about it, maybe I can get an idea."
She shook her head and a strand of her thick brown hair fell out of her bun. I wanted to smooth it back away from her face, but she just left it there, hanging in front of her right eye.
"I'm leaving," she said quietly.
"What?" I felt cold flood through me and instantly a feeling of panic took over. "What are you talking about?"
"I can't be here with the two of you," Mary Anne said. "I'm going to my Dad's and Sharon's apartment. I'm going to live with them."
"No, Mary Anne," I pleaded. "Please don't do this."
"I already have my things packed in my car," she said, not looking at me. "I'll come by later for the rest of my things once I get a place of my own."
"No, Mary Anne."
"I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me and if you would just leave me alone. You have Stacey. You don't need me anymore."
She started towards the door and I grabbed onto her waist desperately and spun her around to face me. Her eyes were wide in surprise and sudden fear.
"You can't go," I begged. "I love you."
She pushed my hands away gently. "No, you don't."
She turned again and pulled a light blue jacket from off the coat rack. She slid it onto her body and cinched the tie around her waist. Without looking back, she opened the door, stepped outside, and shut it quietly like she was just going out to run an errand instead of leaving me.
I stared at the door for a long time before I felt my knees go weak. I pressed myself against the wall and closed my eyes. Something small and warm slipped into my hand and a gentle kiss pressed against my lips.
"Logan…" Stacey whispered. "I am so sorry."
"Go away," I whispered in returned, turning from her and making my way up the stairs to the bathroom that Mary Anne and I shared. I could hear Stacey's quiet feet make their way up the stairs behind me.
I stepped into the bathroom and closed the door behind me. I locked it and sunk down on the floor. There was a gentle knocking and Stacey's voice pleading with me to open the door. After a while, I heard her begin to cry. I buried my face in my hands and let out the tears I had been holding in.
"Logan, please open the door!" Stacey sobbed. "Please don't hurt yourself!"
Don't worry, I wanted to say. I won't.
Instead, I simply continued to cry. I heard a thump as I imagined Stacey slumping to the floor. I heard her body press up against the wooden door to the bathroom and sighed heavily.
How could I have been so disastrously wrong?
