Spoilers for Lady's Man in this chapter. Sorry I didn't mention that before hand, but this story transformed into something more than I had originally planned. Oh, and I won't do LM the justice it deserves, but I couldn't ignore its existence since it's smack dab in the middle of my timeline. So, sorry in advance (I think I'm actually apologizing to the episode).
--
Goren needed his own time alone after the twisted game his mentor played with him and his life. He took an extended leave from the NYPD after that, and during that time he didn't keep contact with Eames. He did, however, think about her almost constantly.
He thought about how lucky he was to have her in his life. Still. After everything they'd been through, and after everything he'd put her through, she remained the one constant that he could count on. And even though he was roughly fifteen hundred miles away from her, he could still feel her with him. He could feel her presence everywhere around him.
He spent quite a bit of time thinking about that day in Massachusetts; holding her, kissing her. It was a surreal event, but he knew it had happened because he could still feel the goosebumps cover his body at the thought of how easily her tongue slid into his mouth, and how natural it felt to hold her tight against him.
He also thought about the moment they stole after the Miles Stone case was well put to rest. The 'read' that Dean Holiday did on Eames did not sit well with either of them. Some might call his act bullshit, but the fact that he correctly read Eames like that made things rather uncomfortable for them, despite the fact that they worked effortlessly on not only that case but several there after.
But one night and after several scotches, Bobby appeared at her door. He told her he was there because of what Holiday had said to her, and then he pressed her on her true feelings about him; he needed to know if she was still harboring resentment about the Testarossa case.
This, of course, was after he did a different kind of pressing; up against her door while his lips explored the soft skin of her neck…
"I won't lie to you…it's been a slow road, but it's…Bobby?…How do you expect me to concentrate when you're doing that?"
"Mmmmm, maybe I don't want you to concentrate."
She felt some irritation creep in. "Sorry, but I'm confused…Did you want an honest answer from me? Or just a little action?"
He immediately sobered up at the tone in her voice. He'd fucked up.
After straightening up and rubbing his hand along the back of his neck, he apologized. "You're right…I'm sorry. I did come here to listen to you. But also…"
"What?"
"No…first, I want to know how you're doing…you know…after everything?"
She looked at him and closed her eyes. Then she opened them as she answered him. "I won't lie to you, after what happened with Dean Holiday, I was mad again. It was like all of my anger got dragged back front and center. I had been doing well with putting it behind me, but then he said those things…"
Bobby nodded. "I know. I felt so bad. And even though it might have been just a good chance guess, he nailed it…and he nailed us."
"He did. But you know, we had already talked and hashed out our true feelings, so I did end up deciding not to dwell on what he said. And slowly, things got better again."
Filled with nerves, he bit his lip while he thought of what to say next. "I mean, it's not good to dwell, but it's also not good to ignore how you feel."
She appreciated his effort, and his sentiment. "I know. You're right." She stood quietly for a minute before continuing, "And I honestly don't feel like I'm dwelling or ignoring. I feel like I'm just moving on. It's all I can do, and it's the best thing for both of us to do."
"Good." He said with conviction.
"Yeah." She said with equal intensity.
With his head down, he shuffled his feet around. On to the second reason that he was there.
"Um…How would you feel, if maybe…someday…I mean…some time, I asked you out…you know…on a date?" The little boy look that he gave her melted her instantly. Any aggravation she had been feeling disappeared.
She smiled softly at him. "I'd like that."
He let out a big breath and gave a quick, enthusiastic nod. "Good."
He turned to leave, but then spun around quickly, "Oh, and one more thing -"
He had her pressed up against the wall again before she knew what was happening. This time, she welcomed him. She wrapped her hands around his neck and met his embrace with searing intensity. Their kiss quickly became passionate and reckless. They both felt a more than a bit out of control.
She grabbed onto his waist and started to pull him further into her house, but it was Bobby, this time, that put the brakes on.
As they broke their kiss, he was breathless as he spoke, "Not now…not like this…let's do this right."
She knew he was right. She smiled at him and gave him a quick peck on the chin. "You're right."
He teased, "Of course I am…I'm Bobby Goren."
--
They only went out on one date before his brother was killed. The few days that followed his killing, which included Bobby being investigated for Frank's murder, didn't lend to further desire to see each other outside of work. Bobby had retreated into himself, and Alex let him go. She knew he needed her to do that.
When he came back from his extended leave, both were happy to be together again, but they took their time getting back on solid footing. After a few months of missing her, he felt the time was right to pursue their relationship once again. He was praying she would welcome his advances.
They had just wrapped up a kidnapping case; one that morphed into an entirely different type of investigation due to a bizarre twist. It was late and they were riding the elevator down for the day. She leaned against the back wall while he stood in the middle of the car and turned toward her. His eyes caught hers and then he brushed his hand through her hair. She leaned her head toward his hand so he grazed his hand back along her jaw.
"Hey." She said softly.
The tone of her voice stirred something deep inside of him. He reached behind his back and hit the stop button on the elevator. The car jerked to a halt. She gave him a very inviting look. He moved closer and rested his hands against the wall behind her; effectively trapping her there. She in no way felt trapped, she was exactly where she wanted to be. He leaned in a little closer so his face was right in front of hers.
"I miss you," he whispered.
"I miss you, too." She answered back and he felt a jolt of electricity flow through him as she put her hands on his waist.
"I'd like to take you out again…spend some time with you away from here."
"I'd like that, too."
He smiled. "So…are you busy tomorrow night?"
"Nope. I'm free."
"Would you like to have dinner with me?"
"Mmmmm. Very much so."
"Good. Oh, and Alex…would you mind if I kissed you right now?"
"I'd mind if you didn't."
They smiled at each other and then he gave her a delicate kiss.
After, he stood straight up and cleared his throat before restarting the elevator.
"Do me a favor though?" Eames asked before they reached the lobby.
"Sure."
She ran her hand through his beard. "Shave that thing."
He arrived to work the next day clean shaven and with shorter hair. When she walked in and saw him, she couldn't stop her smile.
--
They had gone out on a few dates since then. He was very much a gentleman while he treated her to wonderful dinners, romantic walks around the city, gifts, movies, flowers…you name it, he spared nothing. But at the same time, he restrained himself like he'd never restrained himself before. Given their long suffering attraction to each other, he knew it wouldn't take much to spur them both on to pursue the physical side of their new found relationship. However, he didn't want to rush into bed with her. His reasons were purely selfish. He wanted to make sure that she was truly ready to take that step, because he knew once he had her, he'd never be able to let her go.
And then Kevin Mulrooney came into their lives.
They had been together the night before Boz Burnham's body was found; dinner at her favorite restaurant, and then back to her house for a Netflix movie. In his opinion, the evening couldn't have been more perfect. In fact, every date they went on drew them closer and closer, and he couldn't have been happier. He was so happy that he was finding it more and more difficult to keep his feelings to himself when he was at work. He almost impossible not to watch her. He would sneak peeks, or gaze at her as she spoke, take any chance to just look at her. He was chastising himself because he was certain that Ross was beginning to pick up on his new habit. He knew it was not professional, but he just couldn't help himself.
So when he heard her voice while he was squatting over Burnham's body, he quickly looked up and watched her as she approach the crime scene. Then he was momentarily distracted by the not so distant memory of her lying on top of him. Her tongue exploring his mouth with the gentlest sweep he'd ever felt and the sweetest taste he'd ever known. It took every ounce of willpower to get up off that couch and leave her alone. His willpower was killing him.
ADA Kevin Mulrooney appeared at the crime scene and Bobby's antennae shot up almost immediately. He called her Alexandra? He only knew one other guy that did that, and that guy was a putz who was after Alex, so Bobby was put on instant high alert. Then he saw the look on Alex's face and he knew what ever this guy's story was, it wasn't pleasant for her.
Alex was then treated to a first class sword fight between Bobby and Mulrooney. She knew Bobby not only making sure 'his was bigger' by insisting the crime went down they way he laid it out, not the way Mulrooney did, but he was also taking it upon himself to defend Alex and her honor. She couldn't help put appreciate his motives. She also certainly enjoyed showing Mulrooney the gruesome 'little man behind the curtain'. Bobby had a hard time not cheering her on as she lifted the bag for Mulrooney's benefit.
--
"Did you sleep with him?" Did he really need to know that? Was that really relevant to the case? Um, no. Not at all. But it was relevant to him. Especially after he walked in on a private moment that looked like it had nothing to do with the investigation. Also, he knew something was up when Alex, looking flustered and guilty, insisted that Bobby stay in the room with them. He didn't like that one bit.
So he wanted that answer. She blew him off when he'd asked her the first time, but he was damn sure he was going to get the truth from her.
"This bitch can gloat, but I've seen her broken -" After that, it was all a blur. Bobby's mind was reeling by what this little cross-dressing punk was doing to Alex. If he could have gotten away with it, he would have put his glock right into that assholes mouth and shut him up once and for all. But he knew he needed to appear calm, not only to finish this prick off, but for Alex's sake. He didn't want her thinking that Mulrooney unnerved him with his revelations because he was certain she must have been dying inside.
And she was. Alex was too proud, too strong of a person to let anyone in on the fact that her husband's death shook her to the core. Even right after he was killed, she tried to keep a stiff upper lip around everyone she knew. So when Kevin came into her life, he was just enough of an outsider, and just enough of a warm shoulder, to allow her to let her guard down. But as she stood in that evidence locker, she felt her façade being stripped away. She breathed heavily and refused to take her eyes off of Mulrooney because she couldn't look at Goren. If he was looking at her with anything resembling pity, she knew she would fall apart.
But then Bobby offered her the opportunity to handle the finishing touches on the scene. After knocking Mulrooney over, he dangled the handcuffs out to her and she willingly took them when she saw Bobby not looking at her with pity, but with thinly veiled anger.
She read Mulrooney his rights, and then an officer led the dirt bag away, leaving the Bobby and Alex alone. He was certain she would try to bolt, but she didn't. Instead, she braced herself against the table for a moment to collect herself, then straightened back up, looked him right in the eyes and calmly said, "Thank you."
He didn't know what to say. 'You're welcome' did not seem appropriate. He didn't really know what, exactly, she was thanking him for. Was it for how he handled the whole case? Was it for his support and lack of judgment throughout? Was it for not being offended when she blew up at him in the A.V. room? Was it all of the above? And really, she didn't need to thank him. After all, he plowed along, pissing her off here and there throughout the case, as if her feelings didn't matter to him.
No, he just didn't think a 'you're welcome' was how he should respond. Instead, he let his gaze lock with hers and he simply nodded at her.
He waited for her in the parking garage. He didn't want her going home alone if she didn't want to. But at the same time, he wasn't sure if she would welcome his suggestion that he come home with her.
"I really don't think that's such a great idea."
He was right, but he pressed on. "Well, it's just…I don't know if you should be alone."
"Why?" Anger rushed out of her and into her words, "Kevin's locked up. He's no threat to me."
"No, I know…but…I just thought that maybe you wouldn't want to…I don't know…be alone?"
She set her jaw, "I've been alone for ten years now. I can handle it."
He looked hurt, "That's - that's not what I meant, Alex."
"I don't need a fucking babysitter," she said as she brushed passed him and got into her car.
He stood in the middle of the lot and watched her drive away.
That's when he came to the conclusion that loving this woman was going to be the end of him.
--
Eames left the garage but pulled over the first chance she had and bawled her eyes out. She couldn't believe she was just so horrible to Bobby. She wanted his help, but after the scene in evidence, she was too afraid to show weakness again to anyone. Instead, she leaned her head against her steering wheel and wept uncontrollably…all alone.
--
TBC…
