Here is another sad one! Sorry, they will get better soon.

Thank you to Lotusblosm, Dundoo and maxandmo for the inspiration and support.

And thank you to LadyTx, she has graciously signed on to be my beta, this is her first time as well. We are all learning.

I couldn't do this without them.

Please enjoy and remember I post faster when I have more reviews.

Thanks for the reviews and alerts I have gotten so far, it feels great to be wanted!!!

Stephanie Meyer owns "Twilight".

~Chapter 5-Red, Pink and White~

~Bella~

I got up and decided to get dressed before breakfast. Being a nurse, I wore scrubs all day on the unit so I was used to wearing comfortable clothing. So when at home I wanted to dress up a little but still desired comfort; this usually meant jeans and a nice top. I really think Esme knew me in a former life; she was right on with all the clothing I liked to wear.

By the time I made it downstairs to the kitchen it was shortly after nine. Esme was sitting at the table drinking a cup of coffee reading the paper. "Good morning Bella, how did you sleep last night?"

"Very well, I have not slept that well since before the earthquake. How did you sleep? Yesterday must have been a long day for you?"

"I was tired so I slept well. Bella, I'm glad you let me help you with all of those funeral arrangements yesterday. Are you sure you are feeling OK?" She asked sympathetically.

"I'm fine Esme, you don't need to worry so much. I feel better. I am not as depressed as I was earlier. I was hoping to go shopping today and get a few things I needed for the service, would you like to join me? I was hoping I could have your company." I asked with hope in my voice.

"That sounds wonderful, when would you like to go?" She almost sounded relieved; I don't think she wanted to be in the house alone again.

"How about after I eat a little breakfast?"

"Of course, there are some baked croissants and fresh coffee. Help yourself."

I think Esme is trying to spoil me. After eating, I cleaned up my dishes and let Esme know I was ready. We threw on our coats and headed out to the garage. I could see excitement in her eyes. As the front door opened I immediately noticed the snow. It snowed last night, I couldn't believe it. I have not seen snow since I can remember. I grew up in Phoenix so of course, snow was not an option there. "It is just beautiful." I stated breathlessly.

"I didn't realize that you had yet to notice the snow? It snowed early this morning. I am glad you like it. Oh, I spoke with Carlisle early this morning. He said he will be home late tomorrow and to tell you he was eager to see you again. He was also so sorry for misdiagnosing you in Haiti."

"Esme, he does not have to apologize for that. It was very chaotic there. None of the equipment in the hospital was working and he had so many patients to treat. I can't wait to see him either. You know he was like a father to Jacob and I, and a grandfather to Leah and Seth. They loved him and treated him as such. Is he having any problems getting my family out of Haiti?"

"He said all the arrangements have been made and they will be arriving on the plane with him. I have already notified the funeral home and they will be meeting the plane when it lands. Did you want to be at the airport when it lands?"

"I think I'd like that." I was at peace with their deaths but I still felt sadness they were not here with me. We rode the rest of the way to the stores in a comfortable silence. It was one of the nice things with Esme; I do not feel like I have to fill the silence with awkward conversation.

When we got to Port Angeles, Esme pointed out the different boutiques which would have the right clothing to wear to the funeral service. The first store we walked into called the Tiger Lilly had some dresses to choose from. So I went ahead with two very simple black dresses. I was also able to find a lovely black wool coat and some black pumps. But the pickings were slim after closer inspection. If I was going to need to find anything better I was going to have to make a trip to Seattle. I did not want Esme to have to drive me that far, she has done enough for me already. After I purchased the dresses, coat and a few other necessities, Esme asked if I would like some lunch. I thought it was a great idea.

We stepped into a place called the SoHo Asian Bistro. I am so glad I did, this place was cute. We found a quaint table in the corner where we both knew we could talk without anyone being bothered by our conversation. Esme ordered some steamed rice and Asian vegetables. I thought that was a great selection so I ordered the same. We sat and talked about our families. I told her funny stories about Seth and Leah. We laughed for a long time about the things those two would get into.

After I was done she told me a few stories about her son, Eddie. He is older, around my age, and he lives in Seattle. You could tell she was missing him, but she would never say it. She said she did not see him often because he just finished medical school a short time ago and was working as a resident at Northwestern. The chances of me running into him were slim though, it was a very large hospital. Also, I do not recall a Dr. Cullen coming to see me.

After lunch, we headed home and once again I fell asleep. I could not believe it happened to me again. I really needed a follow-up appointment regarding my head injury, all this sleeping is not normal for me. I have not been this exhausted since I was pregnant with the kids.

When we got back to the house I excused myself to my bedroom so I could call Charlie and let him know the funeral was in two days. He would need to get here by tomorrow if he wanted to attend. The relationship between Charlie and I has been strained since my mother died and he remarried. It is not that I do not like his current wife, it just bothers me that he was able to remarry so shortly after my mother's death. I don't feel that there was a long enough mourning period as he married Sue only 4 months after my mom died. I anxiously dialed the number and silently hoped I would get the voice mail, but obviously I am not that lucky.

"Hello, Bella." He always spoke with such an official tone.

"Hi, dad. I just wanted to let you know I am in Forks, Washington now and with Esme's help I was able to make all of the funeral arrangements today."

"Oh, well that's good. When is everything scheduled?"

"On Thursday, Carlisle is flying in with them tomorrow. Will you be able to make it?" I asked, I am not sure what answer I was looking for.

"I will have to see what we can do. Um, I am going to have to take off of work and Sue hasn't been feeling well." He sounded very unsure of himself. I think he was waiting for me to go off on him.

What the hell!!! I began to get upset, how can he act like his grandchildren dying is an inconvenience and burden to him. What kind of grandfather is he? I decided then and there that I was not going to get into this with him. So, I responded to him as coldly as possible. "Well, dad if you can find the time and Sue feels up to it, I would appreciate it if you could come. Please call me back at this number when you know if you are going come or not, OK?"

"Sure, sure. Um, I will um... let you know when I can." He stated with great trepidation.

"Good-bye dad." I use that term loosely. Carlisle has been more of a father in the last 5 years than he could ever be.

"Good-bye Bella." He stated in his 'cop tone' again.

I hung up the phone and felt such rage inside my head and chest. I felt like my head was going to explode. How can that MAN be my father? What did I ever do to deserve such a bastard for a father? Well, if he does show up to bury his grandchildren I will be very surprised.

I was in the kitchen the next morning making breakfast when Esme walked in. She was genuinely very happy to see me each day. I was also very happy to see her. I am glad I finally got up early enough to take care of her. She has been doing so much for me, so much that I could never repay her.

"Carlisle called this morning. He has managed to get scheduled on an earlier flight. He and your family will be landing at 4:23 this afternoon and I already notified the funeral home of the change." She always spoke so gently and in such a way she was always trying to gauge my reaction. I think if she noticed I was getting upset she would say things in a different way.

"Oh, great, well thank you." I served her breakfast and we talked about general things. Nothing specific was brought up; I don't think she wanted to rattle me because she knew the next 48 hours were going to be hard for me.

Believe it or not we ended up wasting time until we had to go to the airport by watching a couple of my very favorite movies. We watched "Caddy Shack" and "Sixteen Candles". We had a nice time trying to forget what was upon us and live for the moment. It was soon time to leave for the airport as it was going to take us about 3 ½ hours to get there.

The car ride with Esme was comfortable as always. We spent more time as we did the previous day talking about the kids. I told her more stories of how well Leah was doing in school and how Seth was looking forward to starting Kindergarten the next year. She told me how Eddie was brilliant at school. She said he had a gift. That he would see something just once and he would never forget it. She said it was almost as if he had a photographic memory. We also talked about my job at the dialysis unit and how much I loved the patients. I told her that it still bothered me that I left all my patients there. I felt an enormous amount of guilt for it. This was their time of need and I just picked up and left. Esme thought the patients would understand. They would be told how I had lost my family and if they truly cared for me they would understand. She also let me know what she did before she met Carlisle. She was a social worker at Northwestern where she was part of the group which set patients up with hospice. I knew her past had something to do with death and grief because she was handling everything with me so well. She knew how and when to approach me and when to give me time to myself. I never feel like I have to talk when I don't want to. She is just the perfect person. She reminds me of my mother, Renee.

As we waited at the gate for the plane to arrive I began to feel anxious knowing my family was with me again. I began to picture Leah and Seth playing happily on the swings while Jacob was taking turns pushing them. In my dream they all seemed so happy and I was secretly hoping my dream was not one at all. I was hoping it was God's way of sending me a message. I want to believe I was really there in heaven with them.

Carlisle finally got off the plane and as his eyes met Esme's he ran to her and hugged her. The love I witnessed between the two of them was beautiful. The embrace lasted for a couple of minutes and I saw tears pouring down Esme's face. I can't believe I didn't see it before. Esme could be standing where I am right now; it could be her husband coming home to her in a casket. After they were done with their reunion Carlisle immediately came to me and hugged me for what seemed like forever. He was all I had left of my life, the life I had been living the last 7 years. Just as Esme did, I began to weep. He whispered in my ear to ask me how I was doing? I just nodded and said OK through the tears. Then it was time for my family to be brought off the plane. The entire tarmac came to a standstill. Hats were removed and heads were bowed by everyone standing there. I approached the largest casket first, bent over and kissed it. "Welcome home Jacob, I miss you, I love you." Then came Leah's and I did the same as I did with Jacob's. When Seth's came off I began to waiver. I felt as if I was going to break down when I saw the two small caskets together. But, Esme stepped up to my right and Carlisle stepped up to my left. As soon as they touched me and supported me I found my strength again, I was able to picture Jacob's, Leah's and Seth's happy faces. It was then that I was able to kiss Seth's casket, just as I had done the previous two. Each casket was then placed in separate hearses for their long trip to Forks.

We went to dinner in Seattle and then made the trip home. When we arrived it was late so we all went straight up to bed. Carlisle and Esme kept looking at each other with such affection and joy. I couldn't help but admire them, I do not think my love with Jacob was that strong. We loved each other very much, but we did not look at each other the way Esme and Carlisle did.

~~%%~~

The day of the funeral:

As I was getting dressed for the long day ahead of me, my father popped into my mind. I began to wonder if he was ever going to call me. I don't know if he came or not. I know my mother only died six years ago and although he did not take it well, he moved on, obviously. I don't understand how he could not come. If he doesn't come after the last conversation I had with him, that phone call will have been our final communication.

When I was done getting dressed I went down stairs to the kitchen to fix breakfast for everyone. While doing so the door bell rang. I did not hear Esme and Carlisle come down so I took it upon myself to answer the door. I opened the door and I was surprised by the sight, standing there looking very handsome in a black suit was my father and his wife, Sue. Although he looked handsome, he also appeared to be very nervous, as was Sue. I gave him a casual embrace and kissed Sue on the cheek, then invited them in.

"Wow, dad I didn't think you were going to be able to make it!" I said with some excitement. I did not want to have to end my relationship with my father; he was all the blood family I had left.

"I was able to get off of work and Sue thought we should come. I hope you don't think it was inappropriate for us to come here instead of meeting you at the funeral home?" He stated nervously.

"Of course not, you are welcome here. Oh, I smell breakfast burning, please come with me to the kitchen and join us for breakfast. Esme and Carlisle should be down any minute."

As Sue started to help me prepare breakfast, my dad sat down on the chair at the kitchen table and just stared at me with an awkward look on his face.

"You look good Bella, how have you been holding up?"

"I have been doing OK. It was hard to plan everything and see the caskets at the airport but Esme and Carlisle are really helping me to cope."

"I am glad you have them." He spoke sincerely.

Just as breakfast was ready to be served Esme and Carlisle walked into the kitchen. I introduced them to my father and Sue. They were both very pleasant and hospitable. After light conversation, everyone helped to clean up and then we were off for the funeral home. I went with my father in his rental car so we could have some more time to catch up.

My father talked about how he was thinking of retiring next year. Sue chimed in and said it was definitely time for him to retire and I got the feeling she wanted me to support the plan. Obviously she wants it and not my father, if things were up to him he would never retire. He lived and breathed the policeman lifestyle. He has been chief for 12 years now and can state with pride that the crime rate in his district has down since he took the position.

He started to ask me, very uncomfortably, what my plans were going to be after the funeral was over. I answered him honestly and told him I didn't know what I was going to do. I knew from my dream that I was meant to stay here in the Seattle area to help Dr. Masen but I didn't mention this to my dad. I just said I was probably going to stay here in this area. I told him I thought about getting my own place and getting a job at a local hospital. He just nodded as I spoke, but I got the feeling he wanted me to return to Phoenix with him.

"Is it bothering you that I am burying the kids and Jacob here?" I asked.

"Bella, you can do whatever it is you need to do. I respect your choices. But why did you choose here?" I knew that was a very valid question.

"Dad, it was so hard to be in Haiti. Carlisle could tell that I was not going to make it if I stayed, so he suggested I come here to stay with Esme. He said she could help me with everything, and dad, she has, she has been been a God-send. I don't think I would still be walking on this earth if it wasn't for her."

"I don't understand why you didn't come home to Phoenix? Come home to me?" He asked in a disappointed voice.

"I'm sorry I didn't come home to you. It would have been too hard. I met Jacob there and married him there. I just need to be by Carlisle, he understands what it was like there, and like I said before, Esme has really helped me through this horrible time."

"Alright I can understand what you are saying. But, don't forget you always have me, Bella. I am your father, and I am here for you. I am just a phone call away."

I did not understand why he was acting like this now. When I called him a few days ago he acted as if he couldn't get away to bury his son-in-law and grandchildren. What was with the sudden change? I couldn't handle the guessing game, so I wanted to end this conversation. "OK dad if I need you I promise I will call, thank you." There we have it, conversation over. Moments later we arrived at the funeral home.

When I walked in to Mount Olympus funeral home I was taken aback by the gorgeous arrangements surrounding each casket; red roses surrounded Jacob's, pink roses surrounded Leah's and Seth had gorgeous white roses. I don't remember selecting the flower arrangements, it must have been more work done by Esme. Once again she has thought of everything. I walked around and began to read the cards from the rest of the flower arrangements. There were quite a few from some of our friends in Phoenix, as well as some from my distant relatives that lived all over the country. I truthfully did not expect them to attend the funeral. I knew many of them didn't have the money, nor did they even know the children.

The five of us took our place in the receiving line waiting for someone to come through the door. When someone finally arrived, it was the priest, Fr. Lyons. He gave me a kind hello and had a short conversation with Carlisle and Esme. I introduced him to my father and Sue. After the priest arrived Billy Black rolled in with Sam Uley. I was so happy to see them. I was not sure if I expected them to make it. With Billy being wheelchair bound and Sam's wife Emily at home pregnant with their fifth child, to say it was a surprise would be an understatement. Jacob had not seen his father for a long time. I don't know why I didn't expect them to come, of course they would, Billy is his father and Sam was Jacob's best man at our wedding. I was now looking forward to catching up with them after this was all over. I kissed both of them on the cheek and hugged Billy for a long time. I was sad for him knowing he had just lost his only son. Sam had lost his best friend. I simply pointed and showed them where to sit so we could begin.

Minutes after Billy and Sam arrived the priest asked if I wanted him to begin, so I nodded. But, Esme said she was expecting someone and asked if he could wait a couple of minutes before he began.

At that moment he walked through the doors; Dr. Masen, the neurologist from Northwestern... The one I am meant to help. What was he doing here?...........

A/N: Alright, I am trying to be angsty. What do you think? Don't forget, I write faster when I have reviews. Also, don't be shy about ideas of how you want the story to go, I am open to suggestions.