Jasper
I watched Rosalie and Emmett drive away. A part of me wished I'd gone with them, to help rescue my brother. However, another part knew they were going on a doomed mission. That the two of them have no hope of winning against the Volturi.
Maybe I should have stopped them, the last thing we need is to lose more family members.
But there would have been no arguing with Emmett, he was determined to go.
If only Alice was here, we could of asked her. But Alice is in Forks, with Bella. She would have enough on her hands trying to console Bella.
But I need her. I need to talk to her. To ask her advice. Just to know she's OK. That despite everything that's happening with our family, she's still OK. We're still OK.
Unable to resist the need anymore, I picked my phone up and called her. I just need to hear her voice.
She picked up on the first ring, as always. My little psychic.
"Hello." It was the familiar bell-like voice that I love, but, instead of being excited to hear it after nearly two days without her, I was filled with panic at the sound of the worry in it.
"Alice? What's wrong? What's happening in Forks?"
"I'm not in Forks anymore." What? What was going on? Was she OK? "I'm on a plane, with Bella. We're going to…" She trailed off, but I knew what she had been going to say. Italy. She's going to Italy after Edward. Into the heart of the Volturi.
Flashbacks from the last time the Volturi visited the South filled my head. Vampires tortured, ripped apart and killed. Suddenly I saw Alice in their place. I can't have them anywhere near my Alice. Or, if I must, I was going to be there too. To make sure no harm came to her.
"I'm coming too."
"No, you can't."
"I'm not letting you go into Italy by yourself. And Emmett's insistent on going to."
"Tell Emmett no."
"Him and Rosalie have already set off, I'll catch them up-"
"Well, go after Emmett and Rosalie and bring them back," she cut me off. She can't honestly think I'm going to let her go alone?
"I can't let you go alone."
"Think about it, Jasper. If he sees any of us, what do you think he will do?" I realised what she meant.
"He'll hear us coming in our thoughts. And even if we're mentally screaming, 'Bella's alive' at him; he won't believe us, because that's exactly what we would do to stop him, whether she was really alive or dead. He'd just speed everything up to get it done before we got there." I couldn't help but see the truth in her words. If we all went running to Italy, it would be of no help to anyone.
But why did she have to be the one who went?
"Exactly. I think Bella is the only chance – if there is a chance." Again, she was right. But I hadn't missed the double meaning in her words.
"If there is a chance?" I echoed back at her questioningly.
"I'll do anything that can be done, but prepare Carlisle; the odds aren't good."
"Aren't good? For Edward? Or for you? You do realise that once you're in Volterra, there's a chance you won't make it out."
"I've thought of that, yes." Her words cut through me like a knife.
She'd thought of that. She knew there was a chance she'd never make it back to me. But she was still going, choosing to save Edward over returning safely to me.
I knew it was selfish, but I couldn't help but be hurt by her decision. I would miss Edward if he died. But I would miss Alice a lot more.
"You made me a promise, Alice." The last words she'd said to me filled my head, 'I'll see you soon, I promise.'
"I know. And I meant it. I still do."
"You still do?" She still did? How can she possibly guarantee her survival?
"Yes, I promise. Don't follow me." She paused for a moment. "I promise, Jasper. One way or another, I'll get out … and I love you."
"I love you too." The line went dead as she hung up the phone.
She can't know for sure she'll make it out alive. She had lied to me, I knew. Had lied so I wouldn't follow her. And so I wouldn't. But the lie still cut me deep. Would that lie be the last words she ever said to me?
Somewhere in the back of mind I knew I should phone Emmett, to tell him that him and Rosalie should come home. I phoned him without thinking about it, still mentally numb from my conversation with Alice.
Why my Alice? Why was she the one who had to risk her life to save him, while I stayed safely out of the way? What I wouldn't give for it to be the other way around. For her to be safe. Anything for her to safe.
God damnit, Edward.
But was this really all Edward's fault? He had asked us to move, yes. If we had stayed in Forks none of this would have happened. They'd have been no separation, and hence no mix-up.
But, why had Edward asked us to move? Because I had attacked Bella. It's my fault. My fault. Now Edward was on his way to die, and chances are Alice and Bella will die too. My fault. My fault. Edward, Bella and Alice, all dead. My fault. My fault.
I didn't care less when I crumpled onto the chair. I sobbed for the first time in over a century.
It was all entirely my fault.
"Jasper." I don't know how long she'd been there, but suddenly Esme had her arms round me.
This won't do. I have to keep it together.
I stood up; effectively realising myself from Esme's motherly hug.
"What's happening now, Jasper?" Carlisle asked. Worry was palpably emitting from both him and Esme, as they studied me with concern.
Alice's words echoed in my head. 'Prepare Carlisle; the odds aren't good.'
How do I tell them their son is on his way to their death? Especially when it is my fault.
They'd probably wish they'd never let me join their family once they found out. Actually, Carlisle and Esme were too loving and caring to ever think such a thing. But they should do.
They would lose a son. I would lose my wife. And it was my fault.
Some of the dialogue from the phone call comes from New Moon, which is, of course, property of Stephenie Meyer.
What did you think of Jasper's reaction? Reviews are greatly appreciated.
