"Rukia?"

She never thought the moment it fell from his lips, that she could ever feel anything again.

The hunger was all there had been before. This gnawing, aching emptiness in the center of her being. An emptiness that she longed to fill.

"Rukia?!" Again. More forceful. His eyes held the look of a drowning man glimpsing the far shore at last. It was hope. And it was emotion. The vague part of human consciousness was aware of his sword shaking with the force of that feeling. The strength of his relief overpowered the ignorance he was displaying.

Did he not see it?

The knowledge of that thing, that void within her body was overwhelming. It was the undeniable attestation that she never left Hueco Mundo alive. Yet, he was looking at it.

Looking at her without the slightest trace of repulsion.

He wasn't condemning her for it.

She saw his broad, protecting hand, the hand that grasped the hilt of his sword so tightly and never let go; reach for her.

Her.

All he saw was something that resembled-but wasn't the woman he knew. Not anymore.

I am a Hollow. It was ingrained in her consciousness. I am not Rukia Kuchiki. She sensed more than heard Karin Kurosaki's whimpers of horror. Did the girl recognize her? Even if she didn't. Rukia remembered her.

"Rukia! Dammit! Look at me!" He was touching her now. Grabbing the shoulders that barely felt like shoulders, like a stranger in her own body, she slowly tilted her head up at him. This was the longest she'd managed to retain her humanity, but even with that realization; she felt the darkness start to creep into her mind. And with that the hunger came.

*Flashback*

All was quiet in the tower room.

The monster's voice silenced at last.

Rukia awoke with a small cry, her fingers taut about the broken Sode no Shirayuki flexed. her first conscious recollection was that of Orihime and of Kaien's words. I can't die here, she thought fiercely, attempting the simple action of rising.

Blubbing sounds, sticky sounds like that of many suctions cups sucking greedily to the floor filled her ears. But that...

Her eyes widened with horror.

She was alone. So, that could only be...her head turned sharply against the soaked fabric of her kimono clad shoulder. The cry that left her lips was no longer human.

How..?

The first questions that clouded her mind were irrational. The product of a mind numbed by shock and disbelief on what had transpired. She refused to believe it. After all weren't her thoughts to this point fueled by reason and not animalistic instinct?

This could not be. She shut her eyes determinedly, silently counting to ten in her mind.

Ten.

Think of Inoue.

Nine.

Think of her friend's fear.

Eight.

Think of her brother.

Seven.

Think of Renji and their pact.

Six.

Think of Ichigo's sisters curled up at his bedside.

Five.

Kaien.

Four.

I won't die here.

Three.

"We'll become one!" The monster's words as Shirafune sliced through the imitation of Kaien's likeness.

Two.

Ichigo...and what couldn't be.

One.

Rukia was afraid to open her eyes.

She didn't want to see the gelatinous, pulsing mass of Hollowified flesh that was part of her now. She didn't want to feel the horror and despair seeping into her soul, corrupting it with hopelessness. And most of all...

"Rukia."

"Nii-sama." She didn't want to open her eyes and face the man whom had done so much for her. "Don't look at me." In the darkness and shadows of the ruined tower, Byakuya's presence a mixture of warmth tempered by unyielding strength, soothed her and kept the darkness at bay.

"Where are you?" Steady. Calm. Always so calm.

The tentacles that had become flaccid and still upon his step in the echoing vastness of the palace, withdrew, slithering soundlessly into themselves. Was this what Kaien felt when he was possessed? She was filled with the awareness of them melding into her form, becoming a part of her. As they were now. To just be sure, she told herself, tugging apart the sides of her bloodied kimono to hang open.

Rukia breathed in shallowly stepping out into the light and before Byakuya's motionless figure.

She admired his composure even as his slate gaze wandered from her bowed head to the hole where her heart had been.

"Rukia..." his tone deepened, but he didn't reach for Senbonzakura.

Instead...

He cupped her face in his hands and said quietly, "I've failed."

*Present day*

"Rukia!"

That name.

"I've found you." So, much emotion. It hurt to hear it. It was the voice that belonged to light, to hope and to the past. I can never go back. Those were the words she had repeated to herself over and over. It's too...

She knew he saw the paleness of her skin, the sharpness of her teeth pulling back into an asinine grin. She couldn't warn, she couldn't make no sounds save for the growling, snarling sounds in the back of her throat as she lunged for his shoulder. The fabric ripped beneath her canines, the blood gushed warmly into her mouth.

Late.

~To be continued~

AN: thanks for reading ^^

No flames-haters-stupid comments!

Reviews appreciated ^^