Bruised Egos

Chapter: 2
Pairing: Robert and Holly
Rating: PG13

"A bit jaded as well." Robert said, handing her the bottle. "Am I the reason you're like this?"

"Yes." she said, taking a long drink for the open bottle. "You and all the other men that's ever passed through my life. I had to compete with memories of other women. First with Luke, and then with you, and then with Bill Eckert. Then there was Simon. No need to compete there but then again I was his possession, his obsession. His Laura, his Anna, his Victoria. I didn't much care for it. I just wanted to be loved. What does it matter in the end, anyway? There's disappointment everywhere."

"You're much different than I remember you." he replied, undoing the buttons on his sleeves and rolling them up. "You were always so hopefully and kind and caring. This isn't something I ever pictured for you."

Holly took another swig. "Life is full of surprises." she replied. "Like finding out that you're alive and well working for the WSB. Not caring about those who loved you, who still love you. You're different from what I remember you as well."

Robert was trying his damndest to keep a watchful eye on the apartment across the street. "I'm making sure that noone else that I love gets hurt." he said, blandly. "Why are you here?"

"Life was a downward spiral." she replied. "I didn't like who I was becoming. Lashing out I suppose. Finding a way to cope with the pain, but in the end I only caused more."

"Lashing out?"

"I was trying to find a way to numb the pain." she replied, slightly ashamed. "Drunk by six and sleeping my way through a long line of men who's names I can't even remember. I was becoming someone I didn't want to be. Especially when I was sober. I had all this regret and I just wanted to find a way to let it go, to work through what I had become."

Robert inhaled sharply as though he had been punched in the gut. The thought of his wife, his beautiful wife on her back with other men was too much to take. He almost let his emotions spill out. He could see another man's hands on her, his lips, his body covering hers. He reached for the bottle in her hand and took a nice, long numbing drink.

"Maybe you shouldn't say anything else." he suggested, taking another drink. "Maybe you should just concentrate on work."

Holly went over to the desk where she had set up equipment earlier. She had done it. She had said too much. But he had asked. And she wanted to be honest. Too honest. Robert continued to watch out the window waiting for any sign of the two men. Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into eternity.

She got up from the chair and walked over to where he was sitting on the window seal. "May I?" she asked, gesturing towards the scotch in his hand.

"Yeah." he exhaled, handing her the bottle. "Of course."

Holly turned the bottle up taking a relaxing drink. Perhaps too relaxing. She relaxed her back against the wall. "I thought of you, you know." she told him. "When I was with those other men I pretended that it was you. And that we were happy."

Robert looked up at her. "I'm sorry."

"So am I." she replied. "It's pathetic really."

"You don't have to talk about it."

Another drink in, another confession out. "I wanted you." she said, softly. "I wanted you from the moment I met you, but there was Luke. It all worked out in the end. At least for a while."

"Nothing lasts forever."

"When I woke up from the coma if I would have contacted you right away would things have been different?" she asked. "Would we have been able to fix what I tore apart?"

"You didn't tear anything apart." he said, his voice beginning to crack. "I would like to think that things would have been different but I really don't know. I guess we'll never know."

"I hate that you went back to Anna." she said, taking another drink. "She wasn't good enough for you. Not way back when and not in version two. She was selfish and in the end she paid for it with her own life. I hate the very thought of you with Anna. I hate the thought of her touching you and kissing you and making love to you. Being your wife. That was suppose to be my place, not hers."

"I know." he exhaled, snatching the bottle out of her hand and taking a drink. "But too much has happened now and we can't go back. I wish we could but we can't."

"I'm not excepting that." she replied, moving to close in the space between them. "I refuse to."

"You're tipsy." he said. "You have no idea what you're saying."

"I know exactly what I'm saying." she replied. "Remember that night in Paris? It was stifling hot, just like it is right now and we were staying in that little chateau with no air conditioning. We were on our second bottle of wine and well on our way toward a third."

"You're getting tipsy, luv."

"Am not." she smiled. "I'm just enjoying life."

"I think you would enjoy life even more if you were out of that dress." he said, flashing a smile.

"You don't like my dress?"

"It's very lovely." he replied. "I just think that we could have a very good time without it."

The memory washed over him. "Yes." he breathed out. "You were wearing this red slip of a dress, cut low, and I kept watching the little beads of sweat drip down between your breasts and then disappear down the silk. Even in the heat you were untouchably gorgeous."

"And then what happened?"

"I wanted you, I wanted you so much." he rasped, closing his eyes to recapture the memory. "We made love again and again and again on those white satin sheets. I couldn't seem to get enough of you. It was sticky hot and we were covered in sweat. I can still hear your voice in my head, encouraging me, demanding me, begging me not to stop."

The slip of red silk was flung to the floor. And Robert was inching her onto the bed. There had never been a more perfect couple than them. There had never been a more perfect love than what they shared. He kissed her lips. Once. Twice. Three times. And then trailed kisses downward. It was unbelievably hot and they were completely intoxicated with both alcohol and each other.

"That's what I want." she whispered as he opened his eyes. "I want you even if it is just one last time."

And suddenly the space between them disappeared. His clothed body was hot against hers. And as he pressed himself against her it became even hotter still. They were suffocating in a sea of lusting misery, of agonizing want, and desperate need.

His hands were on her face, his eyes burning into hers. "I want you, Holly, more than anything in the entire world, but I can't do this." he said, softly. "I'm not the man you married all those years ago."

"And I'm not the woman you deserve." she replied. "I haven't been that woman in a very long time, but I can't help wanting you. And I'll walk away right now if you want me to but I know that you can't let me. Just like I can't let go of you."

tbc...