Bruised Egos

Chapter: 4

Pairing: Robert and Holly

Rating: PG-13

A jar of strawberry jam, a bottle of mustard, a jug of water, and a box of baking soda were the only things in the refrigerator. Robert exhaled heavily and closed the door. Perhaps he would have better luck in the freezer. He picked up a container of ice cream, flipping the lid open to find it freezer burnt. But then his luck seemed to pick up. A frozen tv dinner. Fried chicken that would no doubt be soggy, mashed potatoes that would be tasteless, and corn that would be mushy.

"Ah the perfect dinner." he mumbled to himself. "Delicious."

He glanced on the side of the box for the cooking instructions and then practically ripped the box apart trying to get the tray out. He poked holes in the plastic with the only clean fork left in his flatware drawer and then placed the tray in the microwave, punching in the time and pressed start. He was four minutes away from a lovely home cooked meal.

A soft knock at the door pried Robert away from watching the food cook in the microwave. He had heard that it could cause cancer but then again didn't everything else? He took the few short steps away from the kitchen area and walked over to the door, never bothering to peer through the keyhole, and opened it right up.

Holly was standing on the other side with a smile on her face and a rose in her hand. "Shocked to see me?" she asked. "Or is that expression permanent?"

"You told me that you hated me." he recalled. "And that you never wanted to see me again for as long as you lived."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I lied." she smiled. "I was angry and I didn't mean it."

"I didn't think you did." he replied. "What brings you by?"

Holly handed him the rose. "I wanted to give you this." she said. "And I wanted to ask you to join me for dinner."

"Thank you." he said, looking down at the red rose. "But I'm kinda already preparing dinner."

"A tv dinner." she observed. "And a burnt one no less."

Robert looked around at the microwave and then rushed over and open the microwave door, smoke came rolling out. "Dammit." he said, glancing at the microwave and realizing that he had punched in forty minutes instead of four. "What else is going to go wrong?"

Holly was leaning against the doorjamb. "So dinner?" she asked. "My treat."

They were seated in a quiet corner in a quiet little Italian restaurant just a few blocks down from his apartment. The walk there had been an almost silent one. A few comments had been exchanged about the weather and the city of London, but that was about it. They were seated rather quickly and ordered right away. But there was still this lingering silence between them. A silence that Robert could no longer take.

"Fox was rather impressed with your work." he said. "The way you caught those two guys. And you and I both know that you weren't really trying."

"Well look at it this way." she started. "If you wouldn't have stopped things then I wouldn't have gotten those guys and both our reputations would have been ruined. Well, your's would have been since it was your last shot and all."

Robert couldn't help but smile. "I admit it, you saved both our asses." he told her. "And just for the record I didn't stop because I wanted to, I stopped because as amazing as it was it just didn't feel right. You and I were always about more than just sex."

"I'm not disagreeing with you." she replied. "And that's why I'm here. I know that things got out of hand in the apartment and I know that we're both very different people now than we were back then. I just have this incredibly hard time excepting the fact that we're done, that Robert and Holly are closed chapter. I need some sort of closure."

"What do you want to do about it?" he asked. "Obviously we can't get back what we had before, too much has happened. I wish I could magically make this last decade disappear but I can't. You and I are going to have to come up with a way to work through some of this stuff between us so that we can determine exactly what it is that we want to do."

"I think we should be open and honest." she told him. "I don't think we should be afraid to ask questions even though we might not like the answers that we get. I really want to rebuild something with you but I know that it's not going to be easy. I know that we're both going to get mad and frustrated and annoyed, but I'm willing to give it a try if you are."

"You want me back?" he asked. "I mean do you want us to explore something?"

"I don't know." Holly answered, honestly. "I've lived so long without you, even when I never thought I could. I've done a lot of things that I'm not proud of, things that I wouldn't have done had we been together and I'm not just talking about sex with other men."

"We've all done things we aren't proud of." he told her. "Myself included. But I agree with you, I think we both need some sort of closure here."

"We used to be friends." she said, half smiling. "I don't know if that something we can just go back to after everything that's happened between us and I'm not even sure that's what I want to come of this entire thing. I just know that I loved you more than anything in the entire world and here we sit and I'm not sure, after everything that's happened, of what I feel."

"I've always played this reunion in my head of the two us." he confessed. "I'd play out everything in my head, sweeping you up off your feet like a scene from some cheesy Lifetime movie and spinning you around. My memories of you are what got me through some of my darkest hours."

"Memories of who I was." she concluded. "As much as I would like to go back to that person, Robert, I can't. Too much time has passed and I'm not so sure I can. I'm not so sure I want to."

"How did we get to this point?"

"Deceit." she answered, simply. "I didn't tell you that I went to England. My family didn't contact you and tell you the truth. When I woke up from my coma I thought I would be better off to stay dead than to resurface. I should have told you my feelings in New York. Everything that I did leads up to right now, to this moment in time."

"It wasn't entirely your fault." he said. "We were both to blame for the way things were going between us back then. Your family was trying to protect you in their own twisted way. And you wanted me to be happy even if you had to sacrifice your own happiness in order to do it."

"I suppose." she sighed. "Just knowing that you're alive makes things a little easier."

"Easier?"

"I like knowing that you're out there in the world." she smiled. "You're a good guy rather you'd like to admit it or not."

"I don't think there's a difference between good and bad anymore." he said, sadly. "My attitude is the exact reason I'm on my last legs with the WSB."

"You'll work it out." she assured him. "You just need to have a little faith restored."

"Perhaps." he exhaled. "Are you going to stay with the WSB?"

"For now."

"Does this mean you're going to continue to be my WSB partner as well?"

"I am your saving grace." Holly reminded him. "At least that's what Fox told me the other morning when I brought in the report."

"We'll see about that." he said. "You may very well be my fall from grace."

Robert unlocked his apartment and pushed the door open. "Thanks for dinner." he told her. "It was much better than my tv dinner would have been even if I wouldn't have burnt it."

"You're welcome." she replied. "Even though you tried to get out of my invitation."

"Ah, hindsight is twenty-twenty." he said, reaching for her hand. "I did have a really good time tonight."

"So did I."

Robert raised her hand up and placed a soft kiss against the inside of her palm. "Give me a call in a few days and we'll go out again." he said. "Or even tomorrow if you'd like."

"Nice and slow, Robert." Holly smiled. "That was the plan."

"Nice and slow." he agreed.

"I'll see you at headquarters."

tbc...