Disclaimer: I own neither Vampires Diaries nor Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Those are property of L.J. Smith and Joss Whedon, respectively.
A/N: So I kind of lost focus of where I was going, which explains why it kind of sucks. I hope the banter doesn't suck too hard, however. And who knows? If I can get some inspiration, maybe there's a future for a sequel?
"Vampire slayer?" Elena gasped.
"You know, Elena, one girl in all the world destined to die an unfortunate and mostly gruesome death," Damon replied, smirking up at the glaring girl who was holding him down. She responded to his taunting by pressing down most of her weight on his chest and gave him a triumphant look when he grunted.
"I think we have a misunderstanding here," Stefan began, but was cut off by Vi before he could continue.
"You think? Because it looks to me like he was attacking Xander. And I tend to respond appropriately when vampires attack my friends."
"Damon can be a little headstrong," Stefan said.
"That's an understatement," Elena muttered.
"He heard you identify us as vampires and we assumed the worst. Of course, Damon rushed into the situation without bothering to plan it out," Stefan finished with a glare to at his brother.
"Katherine's picture was on his phone," Damon pointed out. He looked up at the small girl holding him down. "You know, the floor isn't getting anymore comfortable. That is, unless you'd like to join me." He winked up at her and she rolled her eyes.
"Don't let him up until I stop seeing spots behind my eye," Xander warned.
Vi craned her head to salute him. "Aye, aye, cap'n!"
"So who's Katherine?" Xander checked his watch. "We have ten minutes until our meeting."
"Meeting?" Elena echoed.
Xander sighed. "It's a long story."
"Last I heard the slayer was blond," Damon piped in.
Vi pushed him a little further into the ground, ignoring his protests to watch the shirt. "You think I wouldn't make a good blond?"
Stefan sighed. It was just like his brother to try to piss off a slayer. He'd been even more self destructive since they'd opened the tomb. "Damon, I know I told you about the slayers."
"Yeah, but this one looks feisty." Damon looked up at Elena at that moment, who was beginning to realize this was something else she was being kept in the dark about. "Buck up, Elena, I'm sure Stefan had a good reason for leaving out this very important part of vampire lore."
Xander gave Stefan a questioning look as well. "How do you know about the slayers?"
"I believe we have a mutual friend by the name of Angel," Stefan replied.
"Define 'friend,'" Xander said.
"Oh my god, do you have a soul too?" Vi exclaimed.
Damon laughed out loud. "Even when my brother drinks human blood, he's no where near as entertaining as Angelus."
Vi threw a smirk at him that reminded Xander a little too much of Spike. "Word on the grapevine is Angelus is all fun and games until he starts banging your girlfriend and trying to end the world."
"And wearing leather," Xander added. "That man is a huge fan of leather."
"I don't have to have a soul to not want to kill humans," Stefan pointed out.
Xander held a hand up. "We're all getting off track way too quickly. I'm going to assume that Katherine is someone that looks like your girlfriend, and I had her picture because she looked familiar to me and I wanted to know why." He saw Damon start to struggle and hastily added, "Not because I've seen her in person, I don't think, but because I used to be research guy and she's probably in one of those dusty old Watcher books I've had to read."
"I'm not Katherine," Elena added.
Xander smiled at her. "We've all had to deal with our doppelgangers at some point or another."
"Katherine is the vampire who turned us," Stefan told them.
"She turned both of you?" Vi replied. "Kinky."
Elena made a face at the thought while Damon laughed hollowly. "She was supposed to be in a tomb underneath a burned down church, but that was blown to hell when we opened it and found out she conveniently got out and just didn't tell anyone."
Vi nodded in solidarity. "Vampiresses can be such bitches. Also, Xan, I told you the tomb thing wasn't a myth, you totally owe me five bucks."
"Our bet was whether or not the vampires were alive, not whether or not it existed."
"Stop being a sore loser and just pay up."
He glanced down at his watch. "How about I buy you another beer after this? Believe me, given the way some of the girls react, you'll want it."
"Sounds fair to me. What should I do with him?" She gestured down at Damon with her stake.
"Don't kill him!" Elena blurted out. "I mean, please. He may not seem like it, but he's not completely awful."
"'Not completely awful?'" Damon repeated. "This is the worst plea for someone's life I've ever heard. It was much better in Georgia. And you know I'm all in favor of getting sweet little Elena drunk again."
"Are you sure you don't want us to kill him?" Xander asked.
Elena sighed. "Unfortunately, yes."
"Just making sure. Let him up, Vi."
She removed her boot from Damon's chest and held her hand out to help him up. "No hard feelings, just doing my job, you know?" He eyed her outstretched arm, but opted to jump up on his own. She rolled her eyes at him. "I knew you couldn't handle being beat by a girl."
"Thanks for not trying to kill him," Stefan said.
Xander caught eyes with Elena for the briefest of seconds. "When I first found out about vampires, I hated them. I hated them more than anything, including my dad. I thought Buffy was crazy for dating Angel." He smiled self deprecatingly. "But these days, who hasn't dated a demon?"
Vi raised her hand. "I haven't!"
Stefan nodded at Xander and he turned to the younger girl with him. "Good! Keep it that way." He picked up the pieces of his phone that Damon had thrown to the ground. "You think the council will pay for a new one? Technically, it wasn't my fault this time."
Vi snuck one look back at the two vampires behind them with the girl between them. "Poor girl," she muttered to Xander.
Damon quirked an eyebrow at the slayer's comment. She must have known his vampiric hearing would pick up on it. Instead of commenting on it, he smirked and clapped his hands together. "That went well, wouldn't you say, brother? Definitely the most civil encounter I've had with a slayer. What about you, Elena?"
She moved her eyes between Stefan and Damon. "So what is a vampire slayer?"
"Caroline Forbes?"
Caroline looked up in surprise at the two people who approached her. It was a cute girl with a pixie haircut and a skirt with combat boots – not her style, but the girl pulled it off – and an older man with a loud hawaiian shirt and an eye patch. "Are you here to talk to me about that All-Girls school in Cleveland?"
The older man slipped into the booth across from her and smiled at her. "What do you know about vampires?"
