Chapter 4
I'm sorry it took me so long to update this chapter. Thank you to my beta, LexLuthor13 for getting this back to me so quick and thank you to nisha80, brittany86, EdwardLuver93, BeckyLuvsTwilight and rpattz granny for reviewing. rpattz granny I tried sending you your preview for reviewing but I couldn't. If you want you could leave an email so I could send it to you. Anyway here is Chapter 4, enjoy =).
B POV
I've never wanted to be out of that parking lot faster than I did today. I was cursing my truck for being so slow. I could see Edward walking back to his car in my rearview mirror. Just when I thought I was finally getting over Edward he pulls me back in and makes me like him so much more than I did before. His voice was beautiful like velvet, and his smell was intoxicating. I wanted to bury my face in his jacket and never let go.
I knew that I was rude to him in the parking lot and he was being so polite but I wasn't ready to face him. I wanted to be prepared, I wanted to be the one to approach him. I definitely wasn't expecting him to approach me so soon. He probably thinks I am a complete bitch, I'm pretty sure that's the impression I gave him. Gosh this was off to such a bad start already. I should apologize to him tomorrow when we meet up in the library to study, it was the least I could do since he was the one helping me.
I was surprised when I realized I was already home. I was driving on complete autopilot. I pulled in the small driveway, shut off the engine, grabbed my book bag and climbed out the truck. I was so happy that Charlie offered to bring home pizza tonight because I was in no mood to cook. I went to my bedroom, took off jacket and threw myself on the bed. What the hell is going on with me? I need to get a hold of myself seriously. The man is taken, off limits; this little crush has got to go. But I knew I was fooling myself, I talk all this talk now but as soon as I am in his presence things change and I'm ready to jump in his arms. I almost wish he was a complete asshole just so I could hate him but even that probably wouldn't work.
I knew what I had to do though, I would focus on studying as much as possible instead of him. I'm going to stare at the textbook the entire time. I turned on my side and kicked off my shoes to be more comfortable. I don't know how long I was there for but I woke up to Charlie shaking me.
"Bella," he called. "Get up, you should eat something."
"Uh huh, I'll be right down just give me a minute." I replied half asleep
After he walked out the room I got up, changed into a white t shirt and gray sweats and went downstairs to the kitchen. The pizza was already cold so I warmed up a slice in the microwave and ate it with a glass of coke. When I finished my pizza I said goodnight to Charlie who was sitting in front of the television and headed back to my bedroom. Once I was in my bedroom I started my homework. I was doing perfectly fine until I reached for my history textbook which reminded of what I had to do tomorrow. I wasn't as worried about it as I was before because I already figured out my plan for tomorrow which was to focus on the schoolwork as much as I could. I finished all my homework I was assigned today and climbed back into bed. It wasn't long before I fell asleep.
I woke up the next morning to my alarm clock going off, and slightly frustrated because I had the same stupid dream once again and I still couldn't figure out what it meant. I was still searching for that place and every time I found the opening that I knew led to it, the opening closed and no matter how hard I ran I never reached it in time. I threw the covers off, grabbed my toiletries bag and went straight into the bathroom to shower and get ready for school.
I felt worse about today than I did the first day of school. The day went by like it usually did, I didn't feel so much like the new kid anymore. I was always with Angela or Mike throughout the day. At lunch I paid no mind to Edward's table.
When I went to History class I did the same thing I did in lunch I just focused on Mr. Banner and didn't look at Edward at all. It was after Art when I started to get nervous, there was only one more period before I had to face him. Alice noticed something was wrong with me immediately but I played it off and just told her I wasn't feeling well. After Art I went to gym and Coach Henson made us play soccer. I made sure and stayed out of everyone's way so that no one, including myself was injured.
When seventh period was over I started chewing on my bottom lip so hard I thought I would draw blood. I made my way towards the library instead of the parking lot. I saw him as soon as I entered the library sitting at one of the tables towards the back of the library. My stomach was doing flips. I began playing with my sleeves and continued walking towards the table. His head was down and he was reading a book so he didn't even notice I was there until I pulled out the chair across from him and took a seat.
"Hello" I said to him so quietly I wasn't even sure he heard me. He closed the book in front of him, moved it to the side, took out his history textbook and opened it to the chapter I was supposed to be getting help with.
"This is the chapter we did during the first week of school." He said while turning the book around so that it was facing me. "I made an outline of the entire chapter because I figured it would easier for you that way, the chapter is split up into eight parts, each part has review questions at the end, we'll work on each part and when you can answer each the review questions at the end correct we will move one, understand?"
I nodded my head in response impressed by the way he organized everything and took charge. I knew he was smart as soon as Mr. Banner said he got a perfect score but he was so intelligent. I looked down and began to read the outline he made while he began reading the book he was reading when I first came in the library. His handwriting was so neat, especially for a man. And the outline really did make everything easier to understand, instead of giving me a whole bunch of facts it made everything into sort of a stories so that it was connected. It was really nice of him to do this for me.
I almost forgot I was planning to apologize for my attitude the day before. I stopped reading the outline and looked up at him. He was still reading his textbook. He looked so focused, his fingers were buried in his hair and he was twirling a pencil in hand that wasn't buried in his beautiful bronze hair. He was wearing an army green t shirt, with dark blue washed out jeans and black converses, which made me smile because I was wearing the same pair. I never really paid attention to what he wore before but I liked his style, it was really close to mine. I realized I was gawking at him and looked away before he noticed. I wanted to get his attention but I felt weird calling him by his name, but how else was I supposed to get his attention.
"Edward." I said. It was barely a whisper and he didn't even hear me.
A little louder: "Excuse me, uh, Edward."
He looked up from his book and stared at me, his face was hard and he looked annoyed.
"Yes?"
"Um. I'm really sorry about the way I acted yesterday, it was rude of me, there were just some uhh, personal things that were bothering. I should be grateful that you are helping me, thank you for helping me, especially for making this outline, you didn't have to do that." I said while pointing to the papers in front of me
"It was nothing. I already learned this chapter so it was simple." His face softened.
"Still you didn't have to take the time to do it. I appreciate it."
"Well you're welcome," he replied with a crooked smile.
I smiled back and went back to reading the outline he gave me, when I was done with section one of the outline I turned the outline over and did the questions at the end of the section in the textbook. After I completed the questions I handed my answers to Edward who checked them, all my answers were correct so I moved on to section 2.
We barely spoke to each other while we were there. The only time we really spoke to each other was when I completed a section of the chapter and when he told me which ones I got wrong.
I had to review section three twice but I finished three out of the eight sections of the chapter, at this rate we would only have to have two more sessions. Unfortunately, even though I barely talked to him during the tutoring session I still felt like my attraction to Edward grew during the short amount of time we spent together. I learned more about him now, about the real Edward instead of just physically. He was intelligent, focused, and considerate and had the best smile I have ever seen, it made me smile back no matter how hard I tried not to. I don't have a clue what I am going to do now because we still have two more times we have to meet up and the time we spend together only makes my situation worse.
When I finished the third section I told him I should get home so I could make dinner for my dad, so we both started packing up our stuff. I moved really slowly because I wanted him to leave before I did so we didn't have to walk out together.
"So do you want to meet up tomorrow?" he asked me while he zipped up his messenger bag. I wasn't expecting him to talk to me so I jumped when I heard him speak.
"Uh, I actually made plans with a friend," I said. "So is Monday good for you?"
"No. I have my first day of football practice on Friday. Tuesday?"
Now I could add athletic to the list of things I knew about and attracted me to him.
"Yeah, Tuesday is good."
"Alright see you then," he said while throwing his bag over his shoulders.
"Okay, bye." I replied and then he walked out of the library to the parking lot.
As he walked away I realized that I didn't want our time to be over yet, I liked being around him. I wanted to spend more time with him and now I couldn't wait for Tuesday, just thinking about gave me butterflies. I had such a serious case of internal conflict. One minute I was thinking that it was a bad idea to get closer to Edward because I know he's with Tanya, and then the next minute I feel like I can't wait to be around him again. I mean so what if I like him, it's not going to go anywhere with him because he's taken. So I guess the best move would be to get these tutoring sessions over with and just let everything play out eventually I should start to get over him.
I continued packing up my stuff and noticed that I had been sitting there for fifteen minutes already since Edward left. I grabbed the rest of my stuff and ran to the parking lot so that I could make it home in time to make dinner for Charlie.
E POV
My day was going pretty good again. My relationship with Tanya was still getting better but she did bitch a little when I told her that I wasn't going to be able to give her a ride home because I had to tutor someone. When she asked who I didn't even tell her even though Bella was sitting less than ten feet away from us because Tanya could get really jealous I didn't feel like dealing with her shit. After History I went to the library and did homework until seventh period.
I was well prepared for the tutoring session with Bella today, and I was also ready to tell her off the instant she said something rude to me. I was doing my calculus homework when the scent of strawberries hit me, then I heard the chair across from move.
I thought I heard her say something as she sat down but I ignored it and moved the book I was reading aside and took out the History book and the outline. I explained to her what it was and told her what she was supposed to do, and then I went back to reading my book. It wasn't even five minutes before I heard her call me, was she that dumb that she couldn't understand the outline? Or was something else going on?
"Yes?"
"I'm really sorry about the way I acted yesterday, it was rude of me, there were just some uhh, personal things that were bothering. I should be grateful that you are helping me, thank you for helping me, especially for making this outline, you didn't have to do that." she said while pointing to the outline.
Wow that definitely was not what I was expecting, she wasn't rude at all. In fact she seems shy.
"It was nothing. I already learned this chapter so it was easy." I replied
"Still you didn't have to take the time to do it. I appreciate it."
"You're welcome." I replied and I smiled at her, which made her smile back. She had a beautiful smile, I would do anything to make her smile like that as much as possible if I could.
We didn't talk much after that she sat there and read the outline while I read my Calculus book. I was actually done with my homework already but I didn't want it to look like I wasn't doing anything so I read ahead a little. Once and a while I would glance up at Bella. She was so concentrated on what she was reading. She definitely wasn't like most of these girls in this school. While the other girls in the school including Tanya were still wearing skirts and heels even though it was starting to get cooler, Bella's style was closer to mine, she was wearing extremely loose blue jeans with a black t shirt, a gray hoodie, which she had the hood up so that I couldn't see all of her brown hair and converses just like the pair I had on. A couple minutes later she called me again and I looked up from my book.
"Yeah," I replied
"I finished the first section so can you check the review questions?" she asked me
"Yeah sure."
"Thanks." She replied while handing me her answers.
I took the paper and reviewed the answers, every time I checked an answer I would look up at her and she would be biting her lower lips, she looked so cute when she did that. Her lips were so full and plum I felt the sudden urge to be the one who was biting them. I knew she was doing it because she was nervous but she had no idea how seductive it made her look.
I handed the paper back to her and told her everything was correct, which it was. The same thing happened with section two. She had to repeat section three though. When I handed section three back to her she told me she had to go home to make dinner for her dad. The smallest things she said or did made me learn more about her. She was kind, appreciative, thoughtful, shy, smart, had a nice sense of style and she was determined because she refused to let me give her the answers to section three when she got two of the questions wrong. She reviewed the chapter again and the second time around she got it all right.
As I packed up my stuff I asked her when she wanted to meet up again, we agreed on Tuesday. After that I walked out the library and went to my car. When I got in the car I realized that I felt like I was back to same way I felt about Bella the first day I saw her, actually my feelings were stronger. It was so much easier when I thought she was a bitch but now that I know more about her I know she isn't who I thought she was. I was attracted to her physically and I wanted to know more about her, I couldn't wait till we saw each other again on Tuesday. My only problem was I was still with Tanya, so I shouldn't feel this way about anyone else but her. Things were getting better with Tanya now.
"UGH!" I grunted out loud while banging arms on my steering wheel. This is ridiculous. I hate feeling like this, so conflicted, like I'm being pulled in two different directions and I don't understand why Bella has such a hold on me.
I turned the key in the ignition and pulled out my parking space to go home.
When I walked into the house everyone could tell I was in a bad mood again. I went to my bedroom and sat on the edge of my bed with my head in my hands.
"Bro, what is bothering you man?" It was Emmett, I needed to talk to someone and even though Emmett was probably the last person I should talk to I needed to share my problems with someone because I felt like it was eating me alive.
"I'm having relationship problems."
"Okay everyone had relationship problems, Rosie and me, we're always having problems." He replied.
"No Emmett," I said. "There's more to it than that. Tanya and I haven't been the same lately, then I meet this other girl and I don't know why but I just feel this pull towards her, and I know that it's wrong because I'm still with Tanya. Tanya and I have been together for so long I didn't want to give up so I try to work things out with her, especially when the girl I was interested in was a complete and total bitch to me." I paused and took a breath and then continued. "But then when I see her again she, see that she not what I thought she was, she's actually sweet and smart and fuck is she beautiful, so I'm back to square one where I feel this obligation to Tanya and I want to know more about the other girl. She is making it so much harder to hate her and so much easier to like her." I finished and looked up to Emmett who eyes were wide and then he grinned at me.
"Whoa," he said, surprised. "Well, those are some issues. I definitely can't tell you what to do but what I can tell you is that you shouldn't feel an obligation to Tanya you should want to be with her. And as for this other girl, I think it wouldn't be a bad idea to just get to know her, not date her but learn more about her. It can go two ways, you can either learn she isn't really the type of woman you would go for or you can learn that there's something there and you should go for it since things aren't going well with Tanya anyway."
I was stunned, who knew that Emmett could give useful advice. Usually he was always playing around and making some joke. But he actually gave me some peace at mind.
"Wow Emmett your advice was actually helpful" I said with a smile
"Don't act so shocked. Anyway I actually came to tell you that dinner is ready, so bring your ass downstairs." He stood and left.
Emmett was right, there's no harm in getting to know her a little more, not saying I was going to ask her on a date but I would just talk to her a little more and when I find out there's no chemistry between us then I could move on.
