I couldn't resist doing another one! Not as good as the first but I laughed...
Pip was strolling through the streets of London. He didn't like it, really, not much at all. But this was where he was staying to get paid, and paid big time.
He dropped his cigarette on the pavement and stamped it out.
"Litter-er!" Screamed a young voice behind him.
Pip turned, "It's a little butt…" Then he froze. "What zha hell?! You again!"
An abnormally pale fourteen-year-old girl smiled at him with a crazed look in her eye.
"You're in zha sunlight, common, ain't you going to burn up or something?"
She yawned, "Nah, just makes me sleepy."
Pip turned, his shoulders shrugged up, "Leave me alone, Alucard."
"Alucard! Who's dat?" She ran up and walked alongside him.
"Go away."
"You're mean!" She hissed.
Pip walked faster.
"Come back!" She screeched with her all to high-pitched voice.
Pip was about to withdraw his gun, when he stopped and looked around him. He would get arrested for doing that in a busy London square. He glared at the girl. "Just leave me alone, ok? What do you want from me?"
She extended a hand, her other held behind her back. "Hi, I'm Girlycard."
Pip stared at the extended hand.
"Shake my hand." She growled like a feral cat.
Pip reluctantly grabbed it. "Pip…"
She laughed madly as she squeezed momentarily and ran off.
"Arg!" She had broken his pinky finger. "Get back here!"
She ran strait down a walk passing a small grocery store, and as Pip was chasing after her she suddenly stopped and stared into the window. "Buy me banana's." She demanded as he grabbed the back of her shirt.
"You don't eat banana's, you don't even eat."
"I said buy my banana's!" She screeched.
"Shut up, I'm getting stares." Pip hissed as he looked around him where passerbyers frowned at him.
"BUY ME BANANA'S!" She howled at the top of her lungs.
"Ok ok ok!"
Pip came out with the bananas and thrust them into her arms. "Here, damn it."
Girlycard immediately began to eat them greedily. Pip rolled his eyes and started back towards Hellsing, Girlycard stuffing her face next to him all along the way.
As they came onto the grounds and the gate was visible Pip heard the girl Alucard burp. He looked down angrily at the pest at his side.
Her face looked sick. She covered her mouth.
"Told ya so." Pip laughed once.
Girlycard's head came down, she bent over, and retched over the mercenary's boots. He froze and he thought he would lose it right there and then.
Girlycard slowly rose her head and burped again, "Ug…"
She retched some more yellow half digested blood splattered banana crap over his boots.
This was not worth what they were paying him.
