Chapter 2 - A Love That Will Endure for the Next Fifteen Minutes
"That was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard." Sabriel said decisively.
"...Okay, I'm going to ignore that and destory it." replied Touchstone.
"I am serious! That short, badly animated film made me realize that the dead are not just the dead - they're my brothers and sisters whom I've been horribly mistreating!" exclaimed the current Abhorsen, clutching the completely made-up film to her chest.
"...Okay, I'm going to go ahead and just destroy it." was the reply.
"Why do you always want to destroy things?" she asked, not relenting her hold on the film. "Were you even watching?"
"Um, no, but as it is obviously my role as the male character in this book to be destructive, I think I should take up my duty and annihilate it."
"Oh, please - you cry every time you see roadkill."
"Hey, that's different."
"In what way?"
"I have no idea; just let me be myself, okay, Sabriel? God." And Touchstone left to go color outside of the lines becuase Sabriel was not letting him be himself.
"I vow to show more compassion to the dead from now on!" vowed the girl to absolutely nobody.
Good for her.
"Eek! Help, Abhorsen! Dead things be eatin' me legs!" cried an unfortunate villager.
"Why don't you ask the dead how they feel?" asked Sabriel. "I'm sure you can work something out."
"It's eatin' me legs!" the villager yelled, because she was a minor character and therefore only had one line.
"Why do you be eatin' her legs?" asked the Abhorsen, addressing the nomming dead creature.
"Nom," it replied.
Just then, however, Touchstone ran through nuking everything in his path, which killed the dead thing but also gave everyone in the villiage who hadn't died in the explosions leukemia.
"What the hell?" yelled Sabriel. "I was getting through to it!"
"What? Oh, sorry, I wasn't even paying attention - just destroying shit again." replied the man.
Sabriel seethed. This meant war.
