In the iCarly studio, that evening

"C'mon guys. We need to get ready for the show." A girl my boyfriend goes to school with, Carly Shay, is trying to wrangle the group of us together.

I'm kinda new to the group. I'm not actually even sure why I'm here. Gibby is kind of a regular on this webshow that Carly and her friend Sam do. But, I'm not usually on it.

"So, tell us about yourself, Tasha." The blond girl sits down next to me on a pink bean bag. "What attracted you to the Gibb-let here?"

This is the man that I plan to entangle
Isn't he fine?
My claim to fame was to maim and to mangle
Vengeance was mine
But I'm out of the biz
The name I made I'll trade for his
The only trouble is...
I'll never tell

"Oh, he is just so nice…and handsome." I tell Sam for the 4th time, "and he knows so much." I look up at the leftover poster board from when he was on the show a few weeks before. It's a bunch of nuts, organized and labeled.

Gibby slides down next to me on the blue beanbag. "Hey, baby" (I love when he calls me that.) and leans over to kiss me lightly on the cheek. "Is Sam here bothering my lady?"

She is the one she's such wonderful fun
Such passion and grace
Warm in the night when I
m right
In her tight--
embrace,
Tight embrace
I
ll never let her go
The love we've known can only grow
There's just one thing that--
No.
I
ll never tell

"No, she was asking about you." I look back to Sam. "He's such a charmer."

Both: 'cause there's
Nothing to tell

Sam's POV…

I look up from my bag as Freddie walks off the elevator.

"Hey, Fredwierd." I can't help but tease him. He's kinda cute when he's mad. Wait, what…?

He snores -He gives me a look of surprise, and then contempt.
She wheezes
Say "housework," and he freezes

I pull some ham I stole from the Shay fridge outta my bag.

"Sam, what are you doing…we need to start the show, and you decide that is the proper time for Ham. By the way, that is really gross that you kept that in your book bag all day." Freddie grabs his camera off the computer cart.
She eats these Skeezy cheeses
That I can't describe

I talk,
He breezes -
"Any time is the 'right time' for Ham, Benson." I fling the bone at his camera. Can't have him thinkin' I'm going soft on him.

She doesn't know
What please is
His penis got diseases
From a chumash tribe

I catch Freddie giving me a weird look out of the corner of his eye. "What's with the 'eye' Fredboy?" But, before I can grill him further Carly jumps in the camera frame.

"C'mon guys, seriously, we need to do the show."
The vibe gets kind of scary
Like she thinks I'm ordinary
Like it's all just temporary
Like her toes are kind of hairy
But it's all very well
'Cause, god knows,
I'll never tell

Leave it up to Carls to break up a weird situation. Seriously though, I worry about the boy. Carly has spent the last 4 years telling him he has no chance, yet he clings to her like a life preserver to a drowning man.
When things get rough -
"In 5, 4, 3, 2,…" Freddie does his standard countdown. I give him crap all the time about the lack of a one, but take comfort in the predictability of it.

He just hides behind his Buffy
Now look, he's getting huffy
'Cause he knows that I know

I grab Carly's arm and pull her back to center frame. "Ok, let's do this…"

"I'm Sam, the husky blonde"

"That is not the line, but whatever" Carly gives me a disgusted look, then smirks. "And, I'm Carly, the sultry brunette."

"And this is iCarly!" we shout at Freddie and his camera, in our normal crazy way.
She clings,
He's needy
She's also really greedy

On this very special episode, we will interview Ridgeway's most controversial couple
She never—
But Freddie drops the camera, and the take is ruined.

"Freddie, you ok?" Carly exclaims…"Yeah, Freddie, you ok?" I chuckle behind my best friend as he bends down to get the camera.
His eyes are beady -
"Yeah, I'm fine, the camera shocked me." He goes back to trying to center the shot. "Are you sure Freddie? If we need to stop, and check the equipment, we can."

This is my verse,
Hello? She—
"He said he's fine, let's just get this done." I practically yell at Carly. What has got me so worked up? -Look at me!
I'm dancin' crazy!

I look over at Freddie, and give him a stupid grin, as he lines the shot up again, then sweeps down to 'introduce' our guests, who are trying to get out of the blue beanbag they have somehow become engulfed in. I chuckle at how good he really is at rolling with the punches.
You know
You're quite the charmer
My knight in armour
You're the cutest of the scoobies
With your lips as red as rubies
And your firm yet supple--
Tight embrace

Maybe Freddie isn't all bad. Wait, what?
He's swell
She's sweller
He'll always be my feller
That's why I
ll never
Tell her that I
m petrified
I
ve read this tale
There's wedding
Then betrayal
I know there'll come the day
I'll want to run and hide

10minutes later, after the rehearsal has ended

…Freddie's POV…

I pull Calry aside after the show, while Sam talks to Tasha "OK, I can definitely see something is bothering Sam. "I give Carly a look of confusion, "Did you ever get a chance to talk to her?"

I lied
I said it's easy
I've tried

"No, she skipped class, and I found her back at the apartment after school." Carly looks exasperated.
But there's these fears I can't quell
Is she looking for a pot of gold?
Will I look good when I
ve gotten old?
Will our lives become too stressful
If I
m never that successful?
When I get so worn and wrinkly
That I look like David Brinkley

I look over at the blond demon, who has been a thorn to me for years, but can't help but admire her spirit, and wonder at exactly how she stays in school, as much as she misses.
Am I crazy?
Am I dreamin'?
Am I marrying
A demon?
We could
Really raise the beam
In makin' marriage a hell

10 minutes later, after the show

…Sam's POV…

I run to the bathroom after the show, so I don't have to watch Tasha and Gibby be all 'mushy'. I don't know what it bothers me so much.

So, thank god,
I'll never tell
I swear
That I
ll never tell
My lips
Are sealed
I take the fifth
Nothing to see,
Move it along
I
ll never -When I return Freddie is going over some watcher numbers with Carly. He looks over at me and asks if I'm feeling ok.
Tell

Gibby comes back in, saying he needs to grab abut leaving Tasha's bag. I use the opportunity to deflect Freddie's question. "Hey, Gibbs, come here."

He turns as he stands up from retrieving the purse from under the beanbag. "What?"

I grab the back of his underwear and yank.

"AHHH…What was that for?"

"You looked like you could use one."

"Well, that is neither right, nor fair. I am one poor Gibby, don't you care at all?" He gives me a hurt look. "And how would you feel if someone tried to wedgie you?"

Carly interjects before I can punch him. "Good luck with that, she had to borrow clothes this morning and I refuse to loan her 'those'."

Oh, yeah, I'm not wearing underwear today.