Disclaimer: I do not own BTVS. I wish I did because then there would be more Spuffy. I do own this fic and any mistakes are completely my own.

Author's note: Sorry this update has been long coming. I got writer's block and I am nowhere near happy with this but if I don't update now I never will.

CHAPTER TWO

It was not long before the atmosphere between the vampire and the slayer became tense again. Buffy motioned for Spike to sit and she did the same but made sure that there was plenty space between them. An uncomfortable silence stretched out between them.

"So how is the bit?" Spike enquired and Buffy gladly latched onto the topic.

Spike smiled as Buffy listed Dawn's achievements. The Nibblet had grown up and he had missed it all. Would she even want to see him again? She had once told him that if he hurt Buffy again that she would set him on fire while he slept. Unfortunatly the truth was he had hurt Buffy again because he was selfish and a coward. The warring emotions must have shown on his face because Buffy put her hand on his arm.

"She missed you too."

"Did she really?" he asked in a hollow voice.

"Yes you prat. She was very upset when she thought that she never got a chance to settle things between you. She will be thrilled to see you."

She smiled reassuring him.

"Buffy I.."

Buffy sighed.

"Can we not for now?" Buffy asked desperately and Spike nodded not a little relieved as well. Buffy was too tired to get into any further meaningful discussions. She was still angry but she decided she wanted to bask for a little while in his nearness. He wasn't gone after all and she did not know if she could ever forgive him for the last year. She could beat on him another day and tomorrow was another day. For now they could just be two old friends that found each other again. They were never good at the talking part after all. Suddenly the front door swung open and the sounds of an ungainly gait filled the room. Dawn Summers burst into the room.

"Hi Dawn" Spike said softly catching her attention.

Dawn looked up in surprise. Her expression quickly turned to suspicion and she turned to her sister.

"Buffy, is that the First because it sure as hell can't be who it looks like?" she exclaimed.

"Yep Dawnie, the one and the only" Buffy quipped.

Dawn's gaze turned back to the vampire. Her eyes were wide with shock and her mouth was open wide in surprise at the familiar face before her. It was a face that she never believed that she would see again. There were not a lot of things that silenced Dawn Summers but this was one of them.

"Spike" she gasped eventually. She looked like a little girl again.

"Dawn" Spike said smiling affectionately.

"Huh, here you are not quite as dusty as we thought"

She was torn between jumping into his arms and shaking his hand. There had been a time when he had been her best friend but when he started his illicit affair with Buffy after she returned from heaven they were no longer as close. So many things had happened during that last year in Sunnydale. Harsh words have been said. Spike eventually put out his hand as if to shake hers but Dawn threw her arms around him instead.

"I am glad you are back. We really missed you."

Spike breathed a sigh of relief as Dawn burst into noisy tears of joy. Buffy watched the scene with watery eyes.

"Buffy what did you do?" Dawn asked.

"I did not do anything." Buffy said indignantly "he just turned up on the doorstep a hour ago".

Buffy had to excuse herself for a little while. The emotion was getting to her and she needed to be alone and collect her thoughts.

"Spike I do not have any blood in the kitchen but I can offer you almost anything else" she said standing up.

"Hot chocolate" Dawn and Spike said in unison.

She smiled tightly.

"I guess that is three hot chocolates so then."

She went into the kitchen and left Spike and Dawn alone.

"I don't think I will be ever able to forgive or forget what you tried to do but when I thought you were gone forever all I wanted was to let you know that I missed my friend and that I wanted him back while I was stuck in that house."

"You were perfectly right you know. I never expected forgiveness. Got more than I deserved I daresay."

"So spill. How did you come back?" Dawn asked eagerly.

"Remember that big bauble courtesy of the grand poof. Well it trapped my essence and spat me out in Peaches' office. Turns out he got it courtesy of Wolfram and Hart."

"You are back a while then." she said accusingly, "how long Spike?" Her gaze hardened and Spike gulped.

"The better part of a year" he admitted

"What!" she yelled.

"It's a long story. It starts with being stuck as a real live Casper and being unable to leave the office."

"You look pretty solid to me." she said raising her brows.

"When I got a proper body back I was all ready to come but then I didn't know what to say."

You really hurt her Spike."

"I know."

"No you don't. You were not there"

Spike grimaced. It was only proper that he felt like crap but it didn't make it any easier.

"Do you still love her?" Dawn asked.

"I never stopped" he said.

"Then how, Spike? Then how could you stay away?"

"At first I couldn't but later when I was able I found I didn't know how to and then the longer it went on the more difficult it became. I needed to see who I could be without Buffy or a chip as my conscience"

"And did it work? Do you know who you are now?"

"The name's Spike." He said playfully trying to dodge the question.

Dawn knew he was avoiding the question. She raised her eyebrows. Spike raised his hands as if in surrender.

"I know it was the wrong decision, just another wrong decision in a long line of them. The thing is I missed my girls but I convinced myself it was for the best. I figured the Grandsire was right and that my girls deserved some sweetness and light where I am all bitterness and dark."

"And don't forget the fear that Buffy was going to stake your ass for hiding." Dawn pointed out.

"I was not hiding but essentially yeah" he admitted grudgingly.

"You know for someone who's been around for more than a century you are a real dumb ass."

"I know but it is part of my charm."

Spike suspected that Buffy had just needed to get away as she had been quite a while in the kitchen. Sure enough he soon heard the quiet sobs of the Slayer and his heart constricted painfully. It was only Spike's vampire hearing that allowed him to hear Buffy's crying so Dawn was still unaware that her sister was sobbing her heart out in the kitchen.

"Dawn, I think you better go to your sister"

Dawn looked at him quizzically.

"She's crying pet and seeing as I am probably the reason you should probably be the one who comforts her."

Dawn nodded.

"Maybe I should go and come back tomorrow" Spike said quietly getting up.

"Don't you dare. It's that running away that got her into this mess in the first place. No you will sit there and squirm with guilt" Dawn said pointed back at the chair he had vacated.

He could see Dawn was furious and brooked no argument and he sat back down. Dawn went into the kitchen. Spike was right. Buffy was a mess and sobbing her heart out on the floor of the kitchen. Her back was up against the cupboard and her eyes were red.

"Oh Buffy!" Dawn said and wrapped her arms around her shaking sister.

"Did Spike send you in?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah" she replied.

"Is he......?" Buffy asked suddenly alert.

"No not yet but I will tell him to go if you want me to."

"Not yet." Buffy said quickly getting up dabbing her eyes. She had to face him. Things were complicated as always with him. She was delighted he was back yet she was furious that he had concealed his return from her. Anger and joy were warring within her for dominance. One minute she was furious and the next she was elated. Above all she was tired. The two sisters returned to the concerned vampire.

"Buffy, are you alright?" he asked.

"What do you want, Spike? Why are you really here?" Buffy asked in a tired voice.

"Why do you think, luv? I love you. But I am willing to settle for being friends"

"Ha that is funny coming from you and not only because I meant so much to you that you never bothered to tell me you were undead and kicking and with Angel of all people. Remember what you once said to me and Angel?"

Spike remembered well. "You will never be friends" he had told them.
Spike's stomach roiled with the reminder of her past relationship with his grandsire. No matter how long he had known of their relationship it still bothered him and caused a bout of envy and the feeling that he would always be second best to Angel. Buffy was starting to realise that maybe the suggestion that Spike leave was not such a bad one after all. She could see the hurt in his eyes and she hated to see that but she was perfectly right to be angry.

"I am sorry Spike. I am just confused and emotional. Maybe I just need some space to think. Could you go for a while but not far please. I do not want you to disappear again I just need some time alone. Take Dawnie with you. Have a proper catch up."

Spike bowed his head in acquisence. He knew he was losing the battle. In fact he probably already had the moment he had decided to keep his reappearance a secret. Dawn grabbed his arm and squeezed it.

"So looks like I get to be your babysitter this time" Dawn whispered and winked.

Spike smirked despite himself and took one last look back at Buffy. He headed out the door and onto the street.

"Spike" Buffy called at his retreating back and he turned around.

"Promise you will come back again at dusk?"

"Don't worry, I am not running away, pet".

"Good" she said smiling.

To be continued.....

Thank you for reading. Please review. Constructive criticism would be appreciated.