Disclaimer: I own nothing.

A/N Thank you to everyone who commented. I hope its ok. Once again all comments are welcome. Take care.

The water was still running, I was afraid to move enough to turn it off. Rachel stood stock still staring at me her eyes wide. I tried desperately to think of something to say however the only thing that came to mind was "do you want to join me?" not something Rachel was likely to appreciate. Unfortunately it seemed my brain had decided to stop functioning and nothing else came to mind. Rachel blinked, her eyes roaming all over my naked body. Jerking her head up, she met my eyes "were you. .. I mean .. Ivy what are you doing?" Her voice sounded faint and full of astonishment. My face felt as though it was on fire "I spilt my orange juice". I tried to keep the pained look from forming on my face in response to my pathetic excuse for an answer. "You spilt your orange juice?" her voice sounded faint with shock still. Realising I was nodding my head like an idiot I forced myself to stop "yes it got everywhere". Rachel's eyebrows shot up "everywhere? I know you like it but what the turn were you doing with orange juice to get it everywhere?" her gaze shot to my groin for a split second before she looked away from me. "On second thoughts please don't answer that". Choking at her implication that I had been doing kinky things with orange juice I tried to answer her "I didn't get it everywhere, not there, there, I mean, I wasn't" closing my eyes and taking a deep breath I tried to regain some composure. This was all the damn pie's fault.

Opening my eyes I caught the look of amusement on Rachel's face, she had just been teasing me, hopefully she would let it drop now she'd had her fun. "What I mean is I squeezed too hard and the carton exploded" again "my clothes were covered in juice and the washing machines are in here and it just made sense to use your shower and then I…". Turning back to me Rachel's expression was inscrutable now "and then you what Ivy?". Turning my back to her I switched the shower off, this wasn't the pie's fault this was the damn oven's fault and that I.S agent, forget getting it repaired I was ripping it out and putting in a new one. Stepping out of the shower I grabbed one of her towels and wrapped it around me. Keeping my face stoic I enjoyed the scent of her mixed with mine. Rachel gave a quizzical look but I just shrugged at this point I couldn't get much more covered in her scent. Rachel smelled of lust and confusion something that had been more common recently when she came back from the ever after. I knew it must be to do with Pierce and I hated him for it.

"I'm still waiting for an answer Ivy". My dear heart looked brilliant, the new vamp boots hugging her calves, midthigh skirt and a comfy T she looked good enough to bite. The pendant I had given her last week was round her neck the emerald matching her eyes. Straightening my back I tried to clamp down on my feelings as much as possible. It didn't look like she was willing to simply ignore this and she was blocking the door. I had been trying to make more of an effort and talk more to Rachel about things as Jenks had suggested but really this wasn't anything I had planned to have to talk about with her. She wouldn't leave me because of this, she wouldn't she hadn't left when I nearly killed her, Rachel wouldn't leave me now I just had to be strong. "I was fantasising".

"About what?" I glared at her now she knew about what she just wanted me to say it. I couldn't bare the idea of her face showing disgust, dropping my head in defeat I answered "about us Rachel". She inhaled deeply her heart rate breaking speed limits and I waited for her answer. When it came her voice was surprisingly soft and hesitant "there isn't an us not like that" looking up I stared into my dear hearts eyes and wrestled with my monsters demands to show her just how wrong she was. "I know Rachel but I'm not undead yet I have needs and desires other then blood". Seeing her squirming with discomfort I carried on "I know you have no interest in me like that" your too busy lying to yourself "and I'm not asking you to jump in the shower with me" no matter how much I might want to "I'm just taking care of myself". She looked as if she wished she had just let it drop and I felt angry that she hadn't. "You knew exactly what I had been doing. You're the one who made me say it. Was it to humiliate me or were you hoping I would lie to you?" Rachel's eyes flashed and the room filled with the scent of her anger. "I was hoping you'd give me some kind of explanation for why you were masturbating over me in my own fucking shower!" she was so close to me now. The smell of burnt amber was overwhelming, even like this smelling as if she was a demon didn't stop me wanting her. "And why were you in my shower it's my shower! What the turn happened to privacy and not mixing our scents". This close to Rachel it was hard to stay mad with her. "What can I say it's easier to lie to myself when I can smell you all around me. Besides you want to talk about privacy - what the exactly happened to knocking?" A wave of embarrassment floated to me and her posture lost some of its aggressiveness. "Yeah well it's not like that I didn't come through the door, this is where the line brought me". "What do you mean the this is where the line brought you, Al's never dropped you off in the church he can't he's a demon." She shouldn't be home yet why was she home already had something gone wrong? I tried not to panic her scent was confusing now just like her expression it seemed to be an odd mix of fear, pride and embarrassment - a very Rachel combination. "Al didn't drop me off I did it myself, its nor my fault I have to come to you."

Relief filled me and I felt a smile bloom on my face "That's fantastic Rachel really it's wonderful you won't be stuck there so what if it means..." pausing I realised what she had said "what do you mean you have to come to me?" My body was wire tight and vampire still as I waited for her answer my hair was dripping cold water down my back as I watched her. Seemingly deeply uncomfortable Rachel shifted slightly before mumbling her answer so quietly that if I wasn't a vampire I never would have heard. "I have to think of something to pull me through, to focus on that I love enough to be able to make it back". "That's why you turned up at the hospital when you brought your trip back from Newt - because I was there?" it was a question and a statement said almost as quietly as hers. I was what she came back to, it was her love for me that brought her home. I tried to control my racing heart and my hope. "Yes" I tried to keep my feelings off my face the look of fear and confusion on Rachel's told me I had failed. She shook her head. She was afraid of her love for me. "Ivy I oomph" I kissed her, I couldn't take hearing her denials so I kissed her. Her lips were just as smooth as I remembered. Running my tongue against her lips I begged entrance, slowly they parted granting me access. She tasted of with and something darker. She was pulling away, no not now when I was finally learning her taste. Shifting my grip I held her tighter. Rachel moved against me again and dredging up control from somewhere I let go. Spinning away from her I grabbed the door and fled into my room. Slamming the door behind me I collapsed on the bed tears prickling my eyes i tried to gain control of myself. From the bathroom my dear hearts voice reached me, her tone filled with confusion and hurt she whispered my name and I stopped trying to hold the tears back.