Chapter 10: The Kiss
So am thinking Gage text Josh while I was spilling my heart out, because two minutes after he left Josh ended up in front of me. I could kill Gage right now, but it was also nice I guess. I was beginning to think that Gage could actually be a really good friend. Anyways enough about Gage, its time to get down to business.
"Hey." I said, because it was all I could say.
"Gage said you needed to talk to me about something important. What's up?" he asked.
"Yea, umm you should sit down." I said.
"No am good, I have to go soon. So please make it quick." he said.
"Ok, maybe we should just talk about this later then." I tell him. He was being a huge JERK right now.
"Seriously you cant just tell me what's up." he said.
"Yes am serious, its very important that I talk to you but you have to want to actually talk to so just go where you have to go. Its fine." I tell him.
"You know what lets just get this over with ok? I will cancel my plans just for you, does that make you happy?" he asks me.
Ok now am getting mad, who the hell does he think he is? He is being a total asshole. I just want to run away from him right now and never talk to him again. I have to remember what Gage said, build up the courage. Ready 3, 2, 1.….
"Josh do you love me?" I ask him. I kinda surprise myself, but not as much as I surprised him. He is just staring at me, like why is she asking me this. I can feel myself start to sweat, my palms are all sweaty and the back of my neck it getting hot. Please just answer me I say to him in my head.
"What do you mean do I love you, of course I do. What kind of question is that?" he says/asks.
"It's a very good question to ask someone actually, I mean you say that you love me, but are you IN love with me?" I ask.
"Where is this coming from Reed?" he asks me.
"Please just answer the question Josh." I say to him.
"Yes am in love you. Every single day I love you even more." he says.
"Ok, now do you actually know what love means?" I ask him.
"Are you serious? Ok ok, love means that you will always be with this one person for the rest of your life, no matter the cost. No matter how the big the fights are, or how big the sacrifices are. That's what love means to me." he says to me.
I don't know what to say, I think that was a better definition then what Gage gave. I am completely speechless. Josh is staring at me with those big blue eyes waiting for me to say something.
"Did I pass?" he asks with a slight chuckle.
"Yea, I guess." I say.
"Cool, so can I go now?" he asks.
"Sure." I say.
"Alright I will see you later." he says as he is walking up to kiss me.
Funny thing is, he kisses my forehead. There is definitely something going now with him, or is it me? So I had the courage to ask him what love means, but not to actually talk to him about our problems. As he is walking away, and I watch him the whole way out I start to cry. Why cant I just confront him? Why cant I just come straight out and tell him whats wrong? Why am I so scared? I decide to gather up my stuff and head to Billings before anybody can see me crying. I practically ran there. Once I was in my room, I just let it out. I sat there crying for what felt like 5 hours, but was really only about 20 minutes, thinking about what had just happened. Is that what our relationship was coming to, to the point where we couldn't talk to each other about anything. I guess I was thinking really hard about that because when my phone rang, it scared the crap out of me.
"Hello?" I say.
"Hey its Gage." he says.
"Oh hey, what's up?" I ask him.
"You know what's up, how did the TALK go?" he asks me.
"It it went ok, I guess." I tell him trying to hold back the new batch of tears that are forming around my eyes.
"Just ok?" he asks.
"Umm, yea yea, just ok." I tell him.
"That doesn't sound good, are you ok?" he says/asks.
"Am totally fine, trust me am perfect, couldn't be better." I tell him, trying to convince myself more then him.
"No your not I can hear it in your voice, you sound sad. Do you want me to come over or do you wanna come over here and we can talk about it?" he asks.
"Nnnnnooooo, am totally fine, really I am." I try to tell him through my sobbing.
"Am coming over there right now, don't move ok?" he says.
"Ok." is all I say and hang up.
Five minutes later I open the door to Gage. He immediately comes in and hugs me, and for some reason I hug him back. It feels good to be in someone's arms, I never thought they would be Gage's but it really doesn't matter who it is anymore. I have learned more then anyone that you cant judge a book by its cover. We sit down on the ground across from each other and just sit there for a little while. I can feel Gage staring at me intently, even though am staring at the ground. I would glance up through my hair and catch him looking at me, and when I would catch him he would look away quickly and blush. How could he be crushing on me, I mean am totally not his type, he has said so himself. He loves someone remember he confessed yesterday, that he loved someone right. We just sat there, and I kept thinking and thinking and thinking and thinking and……
"OH MY GOD!" I say out loud.
"What? What's wrong? Are you ok?" he asks me obviously worried.
"Umm, yea am fine. I was just thinking." I tell him.
"Ok, don't do that you scared the crap out of me." he says.
That makes two of us. I didn't mean to say OH MY GOD out loud but what I realized would have made you say it out loud too. While I was thinking about Gage and the girl he quote on quote loves, I came up with myself. Am I the girl that Gage loves? Is that why he is being so nice to me and helping me out? But if he really loves me then why is he helping me with Josh? Or is it that he loves me so much he wants to see me happy? Oh my God, am so confused.
"Reed? Are you sure your ok?" he asks me pulling me back to reality.
"Am fine." I tell him.
"Ok so tell me what happened with Josh." he says.
"Oh umm, so right when you left like two minutes later he showed up and said that you told him I needed to talk to him. Which also reminds me I am going to kill you for that." I say as I playfully punch him.
"What, I had to. It was perfect timing. But I guess I should have warned you, so am sorry." he says.
"Its fine, but next time warn me please. Anyways he tells me he only has a couple minutes and to make it fast. And it kinda goes down hill from there." I tell him.
"Hmm, ok. Go on." he says.
"Ok, I ask him if he loves me and he asks what kind of question that is but says yes of course he loves me. But then I ask him if he's IN love with me. He says yea, each and everyday he falls in love with me even more. Then I ask him what love even means. He then says that love means spending the rest of your life with that one special person, no matter how big the fights, or how big the sacrifices. And then he leaves. Oh and he kisses me but on the forehead, which was really weird." I tell him.
"Wow, I think that's a better definition then mine was. He kisses you but on the forehead, I guess that could be weird." he says.
"It was because he usually kisses me on the lips." I tell him.
"Hmm, ok. Can you show me how he kisses you?" he asks me.
Is he insane??? He wants me to kiss him, to show him how Josh kisses me on the lips? This guy is on something, seriously…
"Excuse me?" I ask him.
"Come on Reed, its just a kiss. We are both adults here right?" he says.
"I mean yea we are, but…" I say.
"Its ok if you don't want to, I mean I understand." he says.
"It was just a question." he adds.
"Right, umm right." I say.
"I gotta get going, but we will pick up where we left off tomorrow, I mean about the talk of course." he says nervously.
"Of course, the talk right." I tell him.
Ok so I know ii have Josh and everything, but I think I really do want to kiss Gage. He has been a really good friend to me the last couple of days, he has been there for me. And its just a kiss right? I mean we are both mature, understanding, adults. Just looking at him, those big brown eyes, and full lips, those kissable lips. He's walking to the door Reed, better make up your mind.
"Gage wait…" I say.
"Wha…." he says.
Well he trys to say it, but I cut him off because am KISSING him!! OH MY GOD!! Am actually kissing Gage Coolidge. And it feels so good too!! I have to admit, he is a great kisser. The kiss lasts about 2 minutes, we both don't want to stop but I stop before it gets out of hand.
"Sorry, I umm.." I tell him out of breath.
"Its, its fine." he says.
"You should probably go." I tell him.
"Yea, I'll see you tomorrow." he says with a smile as he is opening the door.
"Bye." I say before I close the door.
"Bye" he says.
That night I didn't dream about Josh or even think about him, I thought about Gage, all about Gage.
