Hey, people.

Thanks to the people that read this first chapter and another thanks if you reviewed, alerted or faved it :)

This was actually written like two weeks ago, way before installment 31 of Lust but I wanted to get that written before ideas plagued me about this fic! Honestly, after I posted the first chapter all I could think of was how the hell the next chapter of this was gonna go and Lust got pushed by the wayside.

But anyway, here we go! Hope you enjoy

Whole Again 2

Jeff lay in his bed, curled up on his side facing the opposite side of the bed. He was in a semi-conscious state, neither asleep nor awake. He was floating in the abyss, not wanting to open his eyes but knowing that he should. His eyes fluttered slightly as he grimaced, trying to stay asleep as long as he could. He just had this feeling that opening his eyes would be a bad thing and would cause him pain... somehow. He didn't exactly understand how that would work but that was how he was feeling.

He sighed internally as he started to move further and further towards that realm he didn't want to enter, consciousness. Why did he not want to wake? Had something bad happened to Matt or to Ted, maybe? The only thing was that to find out he had to leave this halfway house and he just didn't want to.

He woke slowly. He opened his eyes and immediately shut them again to protect them from the brightness of the sun shining in the window. He opened them again, slowly. He blinked a few times before noticing that he wasn't alone in the bed. Recognising the short blond hair as belonging to his boyfriend, he smiled widely. He was so happy to see him and reached out a hand to...

That was when the events of the previous evening came rushing back to him and he jerked his arm back before he was too close. He scooted his body backwards so much that he toppled out of the bed. The resulting thud woke Ted from his own slumber and he sat up suddenly wondering what was going on.

Seeing Jeff get up from the floor made all the words die in his mouth. He didn't even know if there was anything he could say. Jeff had broken up with him because, to him, Ted didn't love him. That wasn't true. It really wasn't. Ted did love Jeff. God, he loved the older man so much that it probably wasn't entirely healthy for him to feel that way. He just couldn't say the words. He'd never been able to tell anyone that he loved them and now this problem was ruining his life.

Jeff scrambled to his feet. When he was finally still, he looked over at Ted and instantly shrank back as though trying to hide himself. He couldn't do this. He didn't know what to do or say. He'd given so much of himself to Ted and put himself on the line because Ted was his 'one' but now it just was finished, over. What was he supposed to do? Ted didn't love him but he was so in love with Ted that there was never going to be someone else for him.

He didn't know if he could survive without Ted. He wasn't sure if he even wanted to. If he couldn't be with Ted, he might as well be dead and he was seriously considering that. He was really beginning to regret that he hadn't been able to use that razor properly before Cody had stopped him.

"Get out," Jeff whispered.

"Jeff..." Ted said softly, swallowing heavily.

"Please Ted, just go. Please."

Ted got to his knees and looked over at Jeff. He could see that Jeff was scared. He was too. He didn't want to leave yet. He needed to talk to Jeff about this. It was imperative but the thing was that how was he supposed to explain the problem he was having?

"Jeff. Please listen to me. We have to talk."

Jeff closed his eyes. He was tempted to give in and let Ted stay and listen to what he might have to say. He knew he shouldn't but he felt like he owed it to the other man. He was the one who ended it. Why was it so hard to say 'no' to this man? Ted was his weakness but he had to be strong. He had ended it between them and they should at least try to move on. Shouldn't they?

"No," Jeff said, "We don't. Please leave."

Ted looked over Jeff. He could see the defeated look on the other man's face and sighed inwardly. He would leave now but he would try again. He had to. There was no other option for him.

Slowly, he pushed the sheets back and turned away, his feet now touching the floor on the opposite side of the bed to Jeff. Jeff probably didn't notice but he had an inner struggle going on inside him telling him not to go. He pushed those thoughts away as he stood up, snapping his jeans shut as he did so.

He made his way around the bed before stopping in front of Jeff. His 'ex'-lover was standing there, trembling, in nothing but his boxers. Jeff was staring at the floor, as though he was making a pointed attempted at not looking at Ted. That annoyed him but he understood, or at least he thought he did.

Jeff felt Ted stop in front of him and the shadow that fell over his feet confirmed it. He was trying to be strong and keep to his decisions but if he looked up at Ted at all, he would change his mind. He screwed his eyes shut when he felt a finger lift his chin.

Ted lifted Jeff's chin so he could look at the other man. He frowned when he saw that Jeff wasn't going to look at him.

"Look at me, Jeffy, please. Let me see your beautiful eyes."

Jeff fought with himself before slowly opening his eyes and looking directly at Ted. Ted could see the conflict in them but he couldn't feel guilty about it. He needed to see Jeff, had to know how he was really feeling and it worked. Yes, there was conflict there in those eyes but Ted could also see the depth of feeling that Jeff held for him. Jeff was hurt, he believed that he was unloved, but he still had feelings for Ted and that was what was important right now.

"I'll be back. I promise," Ted spoke softly but firmly. He was hurting too but he had to hold it together, he had to be strong, he had to get Jeff back. There was nothing else that he needed or even wanted in his life because Jeff was it. "You're the most important thing... person... in my life so please, be here for me."

Jeff felt his breath catch and swallowed heavily. Ted said that with such feeling, such love... but that couldn't be right because Ted didn't love him. And then there was slightly begging tone to the statement as well. What was going on here? But Jeff agreed, giving a small nod to Ted.

Ted almost sighed in relief and cupped Jeff's cheek. "Thank you," he said before quickly kissing Jeff's lips. He stepped back and turned away. His heart felt heavy and his eyes were beginning to tear so he pulled open the door and left, softly closing the door behind him. He did not want that to be the last ever kiss he had with Jeff but he had to taste those lips again, just in case, even if it was only for a second.

Jeff had closed his eyes again when Ted kissed him. It was probably their last kiss ever and that thought sent him to his knees. He didn't want that but it seemed like it was going to be. He couldn't see any way back for them so what was Ted wanting them to talk about?