I've been there once. All I can say about it is I don't wanna go back there. There's nothing but cold, fear, shivers and nothingness. Even though you're in empty space, you feel the dark embrace you: you actually feel its breath at the back of your neck, pushing that feeling of dread inside your stomach as its claws caress your naked body making you shiver and hope for any clemency for what might be behind you.
There's no hope though and all you can do is stay still and don't look behind your back in case there is someone… or something behind you, waiting for you to look so you can see your self eaten alive. There is something waiting in the dark for someone to come. Something waiting for a man who's escaped death before a thousand times.
I only wished that time I were immortal, just to get away from this endless and eternal Darkness. This Darkness gets all the worst out of you: selfishness to be alive once more and dodge death; fear for yourself, for your own life, not caring for anyone else but you; and what I most hate is that it's made me scream the hell out of my head, and it's driven me crazy and changed me.
It changed me a lot, and I don't like that change it's made in me. I've started to wonder if I should have been better, or if I should have joined a religious community just to give me hope of that eternal life and afterlife thing where people apparently live with their souls with their Gods in heaven. I wonder if that even exists.
It's kept me wondering if this is a punishment from their God for losing faith in myself and others since she died…Or because I've sex with so many women – it is against their laws, isn't it?
But no matter. I'm here now. There's no turning back.
...
When I was dead I wished a lot to be immortal and get away from the dead… But this kind of immortality wasn't what I had expected. Even though I am scared of the Darkness, it is scary here in this world, with my living soul inside this dead body. I can't feel anymore like I used to. I can't sleep, I can't eat, I can't drink… I can't do anything.
If my life is going to keep going like this, it's not worth living such immortal life.
...
But maybe Toshiko made me think that you have to face your fears. Maybe she's right and I really don't like her to cry and worse if I hear it on the phone. I've got to stand up to what is next for me. Don't I?
...
Just one regret: I didn't get to know her that well.
The Nuclear energy overloaded and embraced an accepting Owen with his open arms as Toshiko died on the other extreme of the phone line.
The supposed-supposed-to-be short story has become a couple of short stories... Hope you liked it... and REVIEW!