HOPE ESTHIEM

"Do you fucking think I'm an idiot!" Father's monstrous roar shook the paintings hanging on the poorly painted walls. The creases between his eyebrows deepened as he frowned. His chapped lips were curled downwards, eyes dark and eerie, like a storm. "I know where you went! I fucking knew you weren't doing your job!"

I avoided his glare. I sat quietly on the brown couch, taking in whatever he threw at me. Mother stood in the kitchen, hair messed up, bags hanging underneath her dead eyes, dish rag fisted. She showed no emotion but depression. That's all I knew her as now- a depressed mother who was fed up with her life in Cocoon. It was going to forever be her life- stuck with me, stuck with father. Even in death, it was all she was going to know; there was no escape for her.

"You stupid little shit!" Father smashed his fist into the wooden table right by the couch, and I flinched away from him. A devious smile pulled at his face- he was like a rabid Pit bull; he can sense fear a mile away. And when he sensed fear, he dug for more. He dug deeper into my open wounds, searching for more and more until I bled to death. "You're ungrateful just like your mother- just like your mother!"

Mother sobbed in the kitchen, and I heard the small pit pat of her footsteps secede into the kitchen.

"NORA! DON'T YOU START YOUR CRYING AGAIN! DON'T YOU START!" Father called back to her, smashing his fist into the table again. It creaked in protest, threatening to give in at any moment. I balled my hands into fists, not daring to look him in the eyes.

After mother was completely gone into her bedroom, his raging eyes met my face again.

"You stupid fuck- you're stupid, you know that! At least make yourself fucking useful and do your fucking job!" His beer breath reached my nostrils, and I grimaced. As I tried to shy away from him, his fist met the table again. As predicted, it broke, taking the vase that sat on top of it along for the ride.

When I didn't say anything, I could tell he grew angrier.

"You're absolutely pathetic, Hope." He kept his voice low, crouching in front of me. "Don't you know that? You're even hard to look at!"

I want to tell him to stop. I want to tell him to leave me and mother alone, but I can't- I couldn't. He would be gone forever if I said that, and where would that leave mother and I? Nowhere.

"Bartholomew, please let him be!" Mother returned, dish rag still in her fist, but something was now evidently underneath it.

"Leave him be!" Father's raging eyes turned to mother. "LEAVE HIM FUCKING BE! HOW ABOUT SOMEONE GIVE ME A REST; HOW ABOUT SOMEONE LEAVE ME BE WHEN I DON'T BRING IN ANY INCOME! HUH!"

Mother began crying. I looked down at my lap and covered my ears, not wanting to bear the sight of seeing her cry. I had enough of this- I had enough of everything.

"Bartholomew, please-!"

"Shut up, Nora! Shut your damn mouth!" Father grabbed the broken leg of the fallen table and raised the weapon as if he were about to hit her, and mother shrieked, tossing the dish rag at him and revealing what was underneath.

A revolver.

It gleamed underneath the dim lighting of the living room. It caused a heavy silence; It caused uncertain stares.

Mom's hand clumsily wrapped around the butt of the gun, her index finger hovering over the trigger. She held it out far in front of her, the chamber pointed directly at Father's neck. She was no expert, though; her arms shook badly, throwing off her aim, and she looked like she was about to explode from holding in so much pressure over the years. Father narrowed his eyes at her, as if daring her to do it- daring her to pull the trigger on him. He was stuck in one position- table leg gripped tightly and raised high, other hand in a fist. My hands were still over my ears, but my eyes were wide open, wondering what was going to happen next.

Tears dripped from Mother's eyes, and rolled down her pale, dirty cheeks. "D-Don't you e-ever threaten my s-s-son like that, Bartholomew!"

Father allowed himself to grin. "And what are you gonna do Nora? Huh! You gonna kill me! Are you gonna kill me!"

I reached a hand out. "Mother, please, do-"

"SHUT UP, YOU USELESS CHILD!" Father shouted back to me, not bothering to look back. I quickly shut my mouth and looked away, knees to chest.

"I said not to talk to him that way!" Mother's voice quivered, her eyes dark and angry.

Father took a daring step forward, and Mother took one back. Bad idea. Father was a rabid Pit Bull. And he was going to tear her to shreds.

"Don't be stupid now, Nora! Don't you be stupid now!" Father took another step forward, slowly letting his hand with the table leg fall. "Who's gonna support you idiots! Huh? If you kill me now, who's gonna support you and your useless child! HUH!"

Mother paused, as if contemplating it. Her upset eyes still studied Father, though, but Father didn't budge. He kept his ground, and Mother slowly lost hers. She let the gun fall. Father grinned through yellow, jagged teeth.

The smile of victory.

"That's what I thought," Father said calmly. He reached out to her, palm upturned. "Now gimmie the gun, Nora. Gimmie the gun!"

Mother hesitated, face broken, eyes swollen. Bottom lip quivering, she slowly let the gun fall into his hands. Father smiled, satisfied. But, when she turned to walk away, his smile turned into a face of disgust.

"And don't you EVER-" He turned the gun around so he was holding the chamber, and smashed Mother across the face with the butt of the gun "-Raise a gun to ME IN MY HOUSE! YOU HEAR!"

I shrieked. Mother cried out. I watched in a horrific slow motion as she fell to the ground. It sounded like every bone in her body broke. It sounded like she had finally come to an end. It sounded like I did too. I was stuck- stuck in this place. Stuck being a retard. Stuck being Father's slave. Stuck in Cocoon. Stuck for life. And my life had only just begun.

My first action was not to run to Mother's side. Not to see if she was alright. Not to help her up while Father returned to his TV and alcohol. My first action was to shrink in the corner of the couch, and sob. I didn't expect him to do anything else: Father dropped the chair leg, stepped over Mother, and quietly returned to their bedroom, where he was to return the gun where it belonged.

I didn't watch him.

I didn't watch Mother cry miserably on the ground.

All I could think about was Snow.

Snow.

OERBA YUN FANG

Looking out the window in the back of the house, I could see Vanille working diligently in the garden. What a beautiful garden it was- she put her very heart and soul into it. So much money thrown into it; so much love. Sometimes I would walk onto the back porch and listen to the birds chirping, the trees rustling in the wind, and Vanille humming to herself. Her hum could easily put any song to shame in Cocoon- it was simply magnificent. Vanille was magnificent.
After finishing my herbal tea in the kitchen, I went outside and watched her. She was humming her favorite song, Moonlight in the Day. Her mother used to sing it to her before she went to bed every night, and I guess it just never left her ears. Her eyes would swell up from the nostalgia that came along with such a beautiful melody. If I was there along with her while her mother sang it to her, maybe I would've felt the same way. But, my ears weren't trained to recognize the song at such a young age like her. Even though I wish it was- I wish I was there with her from the very beginning. So many things I wish, but it would never come true.
But, at least I was here with her now.
Vanille looked up and stared at me, as if her trance was broken the moment my sandals met the soil of the garden. Her eyes were glassy, but she suddenly smiled (a smile that reached her eyes instantly) and waved me over. "Fang! I need your say on something!"
I paused, looking on with shock. She wanted my help with the garden? Usually she wanted nothing to do with me when she was there, clipping and planting away! But, I wasn't one to turn down such a great opportunity to become closer to her. As soon as I arrived by her side, the smell of dirt and her floral perfume filled my nostrils. I took deeper breaths, but tried to be silent with it.
I crouched down into the fresh soil before she began speaking. "I need your help," she repeated, holding up a beautiful pink rose.
I studied it for a moment, eyes wide with remembrance. "That color... it reminds me of-"
"Doesn't it?" Vanille smiled lovingly at it. "She was so kind to us when she was here. Since I was so young, I don't remember much about her, but..." She looked at me, her eyes just as shiny as her pigtails. "Maybe you can tell me stories of her? Of her beauty... her grace... and and a-"
I gently patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, Vanille, I'll tell you all about her."
Vanille smiled at me for a few moments, and then slowly returned to looking at the flower. "I still remember her name..."
I looked surprised. "You d-"
"Serah. Serah Farron. The most beautiful girl from Cocoon."
"You're the most beautiful girl from Cocoon, Vanille." I muttered, placing my chin on her frail, exposed shoulder.
Vanille continued to look at the flower. "If only this flower had a golden tint, then it would fit Serah perfectly; her heart was as strong and magnificent as gold... her personality as soft and gentle as pink..."
I wrapped my hand around hers. "There's a secret little pond in the forest, you know? And in that little pond are big, wonderful fish."
Vanille finally looked at me, her eyes looking between both of mine. "Fish?"
"Yeh. Lots of 'em. But, there's one of them that swims around in that little pond that's a wonderful light red color, but when the sun shines on it... it turns gold."
Vanille's mouth hung open in fascination. Her eyes widened, begging me to tell her more.
"Really! Positive!" She asked, bobbing on her knees.
"Yeh."
"Are you telling the tr-"
"Yeh!" I laughed. She laughed along with me (what a beautiful laugh that was), and I couldn't help but smile. My precious Vanille was never going to leave my side.
"Can we go one day and see it!"
My face blanked. "It's too dangerous back there, Vanille. But, don't you worry, one day I'll go back there and catch it for ya."
Her face morphed into sheer horror. "Catch!"
Confused, I said softly, "Yeh... catch."
She jumped to her feet and dropped her clipper. Balling her hands into fists, she shouted, "No! You can't!"
"I... can't?" I cautiously got to my feet also, wondering what I had said to cause such a terrible pout on her face.
She slowly hugged herself and dramatically looked away, glassy eyes downcast. "Every living creature deserves to stay with their family."
I broke out in a smile.
I understood now.
Vanille was always a caring, understanding person. Someone who really had a heart behind those ribs of hers. She was amazing.
"And that fish has a family, so you can't. I'll... just imagine what it looks like in its little pond home." She looked up at me, her face serious.
I touched her shoulder. She had no fat on her bones at all; just skin. "Of course, Vanille. I'm sorry f-"
"Don't apologize!" She removed my hand and backed up, eyes averting from mine again. "Just... Just..." she looked around. Her usual joyful smile returned as she caught eye with the clippers sitting in the dirt. Picking it up, she quickly tossed it to me. On instinct, I caught it. "Just help me with the garden!"
I grinned at her. "Sure thin-"
"And!" She got to her knees, placing her hands on her thighs. "Tell me more about Serah. What I don't know from when she was here."
I allowed myself to relax, crouching down beside her. "Sure thing..."

It was late evening, and Vanille and I were hard at work. She tried to be as silent as she could while she listened to me speak of stories of Serah Farron, the most beautiful girl from Cocoon, inside and out. My eyes paid more attention to Vanille's tiny little fingers flying gracefully as she sat flowers upright and planted seeds into the ground, her eyes glancing between me and her work. The birds were chirping and flying high in the barely lit, cloudy sky. The trees seemed to stop their moving about as I spoke, or maybe that was me getting too caught up into the conversation.

"I'm sure you heard about Lightening, her feisty older sister?" I asked, eyes glued on Vanille's hands. My, were they tiny, but boy did they work! There they were, curling and stretching away the whole day, and not even one complaint left Vanille's lips! Mine, on the other hand, were tired and begging me to stop, but I couldn't now. I was too into this.

"Who hasn't?" Vanille asked, pouting. "I still remember her and her super overprotective self!"

"She sure was! Serah was on lockdown, but Serah didn't seem to care," I said, planting another seed in the spot Vanille pointed to. I looked up at the sky, and sighed, nostalgia overcoming me. "And when Serah fell in love, it was like the birds were singing just for her..."

"Fell in love?" Vanille asked innocently, and then she clapped happily, eyes lighting up. "I've heard tales of that! My mother once told me, 'That blonde man who stole Serah's heart sure must've been pure'."

"Lightening seemed disgusted with him, though; I could hear her and that lucky man arguing with one another." I smiled to myself. It was true- they used to live just one house down from Vanille, her step mother, father, and I, and I could hear Lightening calling him an 'idiot' and 'brainless nut' all the time.

"Do you know whatever became of them now?" Vanille asked me, finally stopping her job to look at me.

I shrugged. "Who knows. That man and her probably got married, if Lightening didn't kill him yet."

We both laughed quietly, and then returned to our work.

"...I want to get married one day..." Vanille said silently, slowing down.

I looked at her and put one hand on her waist. "Well, ya do? With who now?" I smiled at her, deciding to tease her for a bit. This girl didn't know what she was saying- she didn't need any man to make her special. I was always (and will always be!) here to make her feel special.

Her face turned scarlet red. She shook her head crazily side to side. "You'll just laugh at me!" Tears swelled up in her eyes.

I sighed and gave her thigh a gentle squeeze. "Of course I won't! Go ahead- tell me!"

She shook her head again. "Nn-Un!"

"Tell your Fang, come onnn!"

"Nn-Un!" She laughed.

"Come on- just tell me! I proommiisee I won't la-"

"Hope."

Immediate silence.

I froze, mouth hung open, stuck in that teasing grin.

The world around me died. The birds stopped chirping. The trees resumed blowing in the wind. "...With who?"

She looked away. "...Hope. With Hope."

I heard her the first time, but I was hoping that was just my mind going crazy. I tried not to frown.

Why was I so upset? Why did I expect her to say my name? I should've known- I should've known that Hope was the one her heart was after. Her heart was practically gushing for him; there wasn't one day when his name didn't leave her lips. That dirty, stupid young boy was the one she yearned for? Him? Of all people?

I tried hard to smile, but it came out as a grimace. "...Oh."

She continued to look the other way. "...Everybody talks about how he's an idiot," she began, softly. "But, they never had a true conversation with him... if they had, they would know that he's actually very, very smart. Smart and loving. Like I want my future husband to be. "

I looked ahead, and shook my head in disbelief. "...He's not right for you, Vanille."

Her head immediately turned to me, eyes dark. "How do you know! Everybody judges hi-"

"He can't support you!" I shouted, losing myself. "He's never gone to school- he's an idiot! Do you think people like him can give you whatever you desire!"

"I don't care about him supporting me financially!" She shouted back, pounding the dirt with her fist, eyes glassy. "I just want his love!"

"And that may be all you're going to get! You'll have love while you're on the streets! You want that! Huh!" I screamed. I can imagine my face right then- angry, full of hatred.

She pounded the ground again. "I hate you, Fang! I hate you!" She screamed.

I grabbed the pink rose and ripped it in half, throwing it to the ground. I stood up and stepped on it with the tiny heels of my sandals. "I DON'T CARE!"

I didn't look for her reaction- I just took off back to the house. I could hear her scream-sob behind me, drowning out the chirping of the birds. Drowning out the rustling of the trees. Everything seemed to quiet down when she cried.

The world seemed to die.

I seemed to die.

SNOW VILLIERS

I spent my whole day sitting at the beach, just thinking- thinking about what I was doing. Was it really worth it? Was it really worth it to hurt her?

I removed my coat, my shirt, my undershirt. I removed my gloves, my hat, my belt. And I lied down on the beach, hands resting on my tough stomach, and looked up at the sky. The stars were just beginning to show up, fireworks crackling and popping all around them. My eyes seemed to work on their own; they gently closed, and I drifted off into a light slumber.

Lightening sat down at the Farron estate dining table, arms crossed, blue eyes narrowed, lips curled downward. She was impatiently awaiting the surprise Serah and I were going to tell her. I stood right outside the kitchen door, peeking inside, stomach a bundle of nerves. Serah was standing beside me, one hand holding mine, the other fingering the necklace I had given to her.

"She seems upset already; kinda like she already knows what we're going to tell her." I said, trying hard to whisper. I looked at Serah- she seemed worried. Probably worried about Lightening's reaction. She always worried about what Lightening thought.

I squeezed her hand. She blinked twice and looked up at me, as if snapping out of a deep trance. "What? Were you speaking to me?" She asked.

"Don't look so out of it," I muttered to her, and then gave her soft porcelain cheek a kiss. Serah's face reddened, and she looked the opposite direction.

"Sorry," she whispered. "Just... thinking."

"Well, it's time to stop thinking and to start telling. Telling Light, I mean." I gave her hand a small tug, signaling that it was time to go in.

Serah took a deep shaky breath, and then quickly let it out. Nodding, she looked at me. "...I'm ready."

After giving a reassuring smile, I led her slowly into the kitchen. Lightening glanced up at us, her eyes softening at Serah, and then hardening at the sight of me. I was never sure why she hated me so much.

"Took you guys long enough." Lightening muttered, and then she stood up. After smoothing down her tan miniskirt, she recrossed her arms. "So what is this sudden 'birthday surprise.'"

Serah side-glanced at me, and I side-glanced back. Giving a pained/worried expression, Serah looked back at Lightening.

"We're... We are, um...-"

"-Getting married!" I blurted out, smiling awkwardly. "Getting... married."

Serah over-nodded. "Yeah."

Lightening was stuck in the same position- eyes narrowed, mouth pursed tightly, arms crossed. Her reaction obviously wasn't going to be one of joy.

All three of us stood there, as quiet as a mouse. Serah was holding my hand tightly, her fingernails now digging into my flesh. I stood there, face still stuck in the awkward smile, unsure whether to look at Lightening or not.

Finally, Lightening let out the heaviest sigh I've ever heard since I met her and looked out the window to the right.

"...This is absurd."

I watched Serah's face drop from hopeful to devastated. A surge of anger rushed through me. I released Serah's hand and took a step towards Lightening, eyes dark.

"Absurd? The hell do you mean!" I asked, narrowing my eyes for affect. I got the reaction I didn't expect- she turned to face me, and slammed a fist down on the dining table. Serah screamed at the loud noise, but I stood my ground.

"You think you can take care of my sister!" Lightening raised her voice. "You think I'll just let her get married to a gorilla like you!"

"What's so wrong with me marrying her!" I shouted back. "You know I want to do nothing but protect and cherish her!"

"You don't know how to even take care of yourself- why the hell would I entrust Serah in your arms!" Lightening grabbed Serah's arm and pulled her to her side, all the while gritting her teeth in a protective manner. Like an animal protecting its territory from an intruder.

"Light, please- stop!" Serah pulled away.

Lightening turned her angry glare to her sister. "You think I'll let this big baboon whisk you away to who-knows-where!" She pointed to me.

"'Big baboon'!" I shouted. She stared angrily at me. "Why do you think I can't take care of myself! I've been taking care of myself! Serah needs a hero- I'm her hero!"

"And that's exactly the problem!" Lightening continued to stare into my eyes. "You think you're the hero of every damn thing, even though in reality you can't do shit! You're delusional- and that's why I won't allow this marriage to pull through! Go find some dumb girl to be a hero for, and leave my sister alone!"

Before I could open my mouth, Lightening stormed out of the room. It was the angriest I've ever seen her- her face was so red it looked like she was about to explode. Mouth still agape, I glanced at Serah. She was grabbing at her chest, as if in pain, and was looking at the ground. I let out a gentle sigh, and touched her shoulder.

"It's alright- she'll bend around to the idea sooner or later." I tried to sound upbeat, but it came out sounding sour instead.

Serah shook her head and removed my hand from her frail shoulder. "No- she won't come around to the idea."

My thoughts exactly.

I put my hands on my hips and looked out the window. "She will. Trust me. Just..."-I looked at her, even though she was still staring at the ground-"...Just try to soften her up. She loves you- she'll listen t-"

"Maybe she's right."

I was taken aback. Blinking slowly, I muttered, "...What?"

Serah slowly met my gaze. "Maybe she's right," she repeated. "Maybe... this won't work out..."

I stared at her, appalled and flabbergasted. Sure, this wasn't the first time Serah agreed to something Lightening declared, but never before had she agreed with Lightening about our marriage not going to work out.

"Are you taking Lightening's side? Again? I thought you promised from then on you'd have a mind of your own!" I took a step towards her. "Whatever happened to that!"

"...That's..." She began, softly. "I...-"

"You're agreeing with her that I'm a 'big baboon' and I won't be able to take care of you!" I raised my voice. "Really!"

Serah avoided my stare. Shakily-in that shaky voice that meant she was lying-she said, "I...I'm not saying that..."

I sighed in disbelief. "You're lying, Serah. You're lying." I looked away. "I can't believe this..."

"Snow- please- just listen to me." Serah reached her hand out.

"Unless it has something to do with you telling the truth, I don't want to hear it." I turned to looked at her. She looked hurt, but quickly shielded it and looked down.

"Don't you act like you're the innocent one here," I said, shaking my head.

She stayed silent.

I licked my lips repeatedly. They suddenly felt dry. "...I need to go."

Serah hugged herself as I turned around to leave.

"...I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Yeah? Well so am I." I stormed off, not looking back once.

Happy Birthday, Serah.

HOPE ESTHIEM

I met Snow again. He called me and told me to meet him in an abandoned farm. The soil there was bad because of chemicals the previous farmer poured onto the ground, and all the plants had died. Flies flew around our faces; mud soiled our clothes and covered our exposed skin. The sun tried hard to surpass the layers and layers of sunscreen I slapped onto my lightly freckled skin. It burned. Burned badly. But, Snow was now here, and the birds were singing.

Yes- they were singing a wonderful song.

I sat atop the broken white fence and swung my legs, staring down at the scab on my knee. Snow was scouting the area; his mature, narrowed eyes squinting to keep the sun out. His eyes ran over all the houses in the area, and stopped particularly at one. The house was large, but not nearly at large as the Oerba house. Snow's eyes hardly left it; he kept studying- just studying- it.

"Is there something the matter?" I called out to him. My voice hardly carried in the very bare wind.

Snow glanced back at me, and then he studied the house again. "Something seems the matter with you."

I squinted in the sun. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," his husky voice replied. "Mind tellin' me what's up?"

I laughed at the scab on my knee and shook my head. I began picking at the scab. "We've only known each other for about a month or two now and you seem to know everything about me."

He looked back at me and put his hands on his hips. "We're partners- I think I should know when something's botherin' you." He gave a weak smile. "Now fess up."

"'Fess up'?" I chuckled, still picking at the scab. "Are you country now?"

Snow made his upper lip twitch in the most magnificent way and rolled his eyes. "Are you trying to change the subject now?"

I shrugged.

Snow looked back at the house one last time, and then slowly-casually-turned around and began kicking his feet one at a time, inching his way towards the fence and me. "Don't worry about whatever happened, alright?"

His hand patted my shoulder, and I couldn't help but look up into his eyes. They looked understanding, but also a bit... cold. Unwelcoming. But, that only made the shiver that rolled down my spine last longer.

"I'll be your hero." He said.

I tried hard to make those words not break through my tough exterior, but I failed. It easily shimmied its way in, and pulled at my heart. I shook my head- half in disbelief, half in happiness- and looked back down at the scab on my knee. It was bleeding now, but the pain was numbed with joy.

"Do all people from Pulse act like you do?"

Snow laughed; the one when he tosses his head back and just lets it out. The most carefree one he'd done in ages. It felt good to see him warm up a bit. I smiled shyly and looked back down at my knee.

"I know all people from Cocoon don't act like you." He turned his back to me and began casually kicking his way farther away.

I looked up at the back of his golden head. "You do?"

He paused. He looked back at me. His eyes were squinted and lips pressed together in a serious way.

"...Yeah." He said. "I do."

I swatted a couple of flies away from my face and looked up at the sky. There were barely any clouds up there; just the blue, blue sky and the bright sun. Maybe today was going to be a good day. Maybe today was going to be a good day, unlike all the other ones.

I smiled.

Snow took his favorite (and only) black gloves from his back jeans pocket and pulled them on. I watched intently as he walked over to an area where the dirt was and begin to dig. Curious, I jumped off of the fence into fresh, sticky mud and shuffled over. It didn't take much digging for the dirt to fall into a man made hole. He grabbed something I failed to see and began pulling it out with a grunt.

It was a dirt-covered pail with a top shoved onto it. A liquid sloshed around inside. Probably water; I've seen some folks around Cocoon use things similar to that to pour water for their animals.

Snow dropped the pail onto the ground and stood up, dusting the dirt off of him.

I inspected the water-filled pail. "What's this?"

Snow placed his hands on his hips. "A pail. I have a job for you, Hope."

I continued to quietly inspect the pail.

"You up for it?" He asked, looking at me.

"...What do I have to do?" I asked.

Snow kicked the pail so that it sat upwards. "It's an easy job for repaying me for giving you that cell phone. All you have to do is deliver this."

I sat straight up and squinted at Snow. "Deliver it? A farm needs some water?"

Snow nodded. "Yeah. That house right there." He pointed to the house he had been staring at for the past ten minutes.

"Sure thing." I walked over to the pail and bent over to pick it up-

"But." Snow said, his voice deep and serious. "You have to leave it outside their back porch. It's very important you leave it out there. Or else they won't see it."

"But, won't they-"

"Understand, Hope?" He asked, sounding a bit threatening.

I picked up the pail. "...I Understand."

"Good. Now, get to work." Snow patted my back and smiled at me. I smiled back, still a bit weary.

OERBA DIA VANILLE

I went walking through Cocoon to cool myself off from the argument I had with Fang. She was crazy! Absolutely crazy; just like everyone else in Cocoon! They underestimate Hope; I feel as if I'm the only one who can really understand him.

No.

I am the only one who can really understand him. I know about his situation with his parents- his family. They don't even understand him. They treat him like a retard; a mentally incapable boy. It's not fair; this world isn't fair. Am I the only one who will make him feel wanted? Am I the only one?

I blinked back tears and looked up at the sky. Placing my hands in prayer position, I begged God to make a miracle happen.

Make people understand Hope, please. Make Hope realize me; realize me as who I am.

Maybe it isn't a miracle- maybe it was possible. And, if it was, I wanted to help make it a reality.

As I walked down the road (and speaking of the devil!), I caught sight of Hope Esthiem holding a silver pail that looked a bit too big for him. He was walking into Mrs. Summers backyard! Probably giving her water for her horse, May? Those kind of pails are only used for water, anyway.

I watched him carefully place it by her dirty backyard sliding glass door, wipe his hands off of dirt, and walk off.

My hand thought on its own and reached out towards him, but my heart and body wasn't brave enough to walk up to him and speak. He never seemed to enjoy my company, anyway. He always seemed upset; not himself.

"Hope..." I said quietly, and then turned away.

My legs began walking the opposite direction (no way could I face him!). As I trotted along, a tall, big man with golden hair and a black bandanna walked on the adjacent sidewalk. He was staring at me knowingly, as if he could pull my deep, dark secrets out from under my nose. I gave him a polite smile, even though I felt it came out wrong.

"Good morning, sir!" I said, happily. This man was pretty good looking! Snow, was his name?

"Good mornin', young lady." He smiled politely back. Maybe this man wasn't so bad after all? I wonder why I felt so suspicious about him.

"'Heard about you from around town." He said as we passed by one another.

"You did?" I slowed down my trot and turned my head to look back at him. He was still walking at regular pace.

"Yeah. People say you're friends with Hope."

"That's right, sir!" I said, almost too joyfully. People say I'm friends with Hope! What a lucky day this is!

"...I have a question." He stopped walking, and so did I.

"Ask away!" I giggle-smiled.

He stared at me in the eyes. "Do you know who lived in Mrs. Summers house before she moved in?"

I paused. "...Yes; as a matter of fact, I do." For some reason, I was starting to feel a little queasy.

The man grinned at me (it looked a little devious?) and nodded his head. "...That's all I needed to know."

And just as soon as he came, he was gone; down the street and around the corner.

I watched him leave, fists to chest.

Why did I feel so frightened?

HOPE ESTHIEM

Nighttime hit, and I sneaked to my room, not wanting Mother nor Father to stop and question me to where I've been the past couple of hours. I slowly closed the bedroom door behind me and sat down, tired, yet restless. I fished the phone out of my jeans pocket, got onto my knees, and pulled a tiny safe out from underneath my bed. I jiggled the lock and it snapped open with ease. Opening the top, I peeked carefully inside, holding my breath.

Good- the necklace was still there. What a beautiful necklace it was- glistening and magnificent.

I dropped the phone inside the safe and shut the top tightly. Placing it back where it was supposed to be, I jumped back onto my bed and fell onto my back.

I couldn't help this dropping feeling in the pit of my stomach. Why was I anticipating something bad to happen? Was it that Mother just may kill Father one day? Was it that my relationship with Snow feels awkward and forced?

I couldn't help but feel nervous. Jittery. Like sleep was impossible.

Well- sleep was impossible.

I sat there for a good hour or two, just thinking.

Maybe I'm just worrying too much- maybe nothing's wrong. Maybe Mom and Dad will be fine. Maybe Snow actually does care and trust in me. I'm delusional; absolutely delusional.

Lying there, repeating those words inside my head over and over, my eyes grew droopy, and it was hard to keep them open. I let my eyes fall, and sooner or later (I don't quite remember when) I fell asleep.

My sleep wasn't very light at all; my body was sore from all the hard work I've done just hours before. Nothing could have woken me up from my deep slumber- I couldn't hear the light drizzle falling from the sky, the desperate tweets from the birds outside, the trees rustling in the breeze- nothing.

At least, I thought nothing could wake me up. But then the thick stench of smoke captured my nostrils, and pulled my eyes open. I yawned sleepily, rolling onto my side to take a glance at the digital clock on my tiny bedside dresser.

1:47 A.M.

Did mother leave the oven on and the oven door open again? The last time she did that, the house smelled like something was burning for hours. But... mother didn't cook anything today. Or maybe she was planning to escape father so she was cooking to take some food along with her?

My sleepiness died at the thought.

I leaped out of bed as if my life depended on it (I felt it actually did) and swung my bedroom door open. I rushed into the kitchen, eyes wide with concern.

But.. the oven was closed and off. And the kitchen was just as it had always been- bare and quiet. Confused, I ran my fingers through my hair. The stench of smoke still filled that air... what could it be?

My eyes darted towards the open windows in our living room. I could finally hear the cries from residents outside, and could see people in their pajamas, walking out in the rain, looking terrified and tired all at once.

What was going on?

I opened the closet door and snatched my worn out orange rain coat, wrapped it around my body, and left the house. Closing the door quietly behind me (so not to wake up mother and father), I turned around and watched people walking down the dirt road. Some children down the road were running ahead of their parents, eyes wide and innocent with fascination. I turned my head to the left, curious as to where everyone was going.

My eyes met with smoke, puffing up towards the sky. It wasn't just a little of smoke, though- not the kind of smoke you'd see from a campfire. It was as if over ten campfires hadn't been put out, and now the flames were spreading.

And it was exactly where Mrs. Summers house was located.

I ran as fast as I could in my bare feet, zig-zagging through the crowds of people shuffling their way to the sight of the smoke. The cold rain left wet dots all over my pants and left me shivering, but adrenaline was pumping through my veins.

And then I turned the corner to Mrs. Summers house.

Fire.

Fire was everywhere.

People were everywhere. Watching. Just watching with terrified eyes, unsure of whether to stand there and watch some more or turn and walk away from such a disaster.

The fire completely engulfed the large house and the trees around it. If you looked hard enough, you could see Mrs. Summer's horse, May, lying in the backyard, dead. Beady black eyes wide open.

I suddenly became all too aware of women sobbing on their husband's chests, grandmothers trying to guide their frightened grandchildren away, father's balling hands into tight fists, looking ready to kill the person who did this.

"Mrs. Summers is..." I said to myself, desperately looking around.

And there it was.

The pail I left in her backyard. It was as black as coal. The ground around it was as black as coal.

I shook my head side to side, trying not to believe it. "Was gasoline... Was gasoline..."

...in that pail?

A pair of eyes was burning the back of my head, urging me to turn around. And I did.

And there was Vanille. Standing with hands in fists, knuckles turning white, mouth slightly agape, eyes accusing. Tears burned the back of my eyeballs, but I couldn't look away from her.

People were in the background, hugging one another. The sky was dark and menacing. Rain fell from gloomy clouds. Vanille was on the verge of tears.

The world was blaming me.

I did it, didn't I? I killed Mrs. Summers.

It was all me.

I killed her.