Alright, so I'm afraid this chapter sucks. Sucks, sucks, sucks sucks. It is way to long, and confusing, and blabby. And in that case, I am stating that for this chapter I do not care if you flame me, as long as your telling what's wrong so I can fix it. Go on, flame away, let's get this beta'd through reviews. :P

I was sitting in Bella's room in her rocking chair, waiting. After being gone for three weeks, I had a lot of explaining to do; Bella would surely be very confused. I just hoped she would be happy to see me and not angry.

Time ticked by, and I wondered where Bella was. She was probably out with friends... maybe Angela. I knew she would be back soon. I was so bored, and eventually my mind started counting off each of the indivisual seconds:

One

Darkness and shadows made up the complete coverage of the room, shrouding it in deep thickness. I stared into the black space, my eyes not seeing, but seeping into the cold, chilling, never ending darkness. Or it was seeping into my eyes. All these things were strange- for a vampire.

Two

Vampires are not supposed to get cold from the dark. They are not supposed to loose the sense of sight. That was for humans. Was it so dark, and was I so depressed and sad, that I was feeling this way?

Three

Pitch black rung throughout my system, driving me even more insane as I sat, a cold, stone statue, perfectly still, in the shadows of Bella's room, waiting.

Four

I was still, listening and smelling for other signs of non-stillness in the tiny room, but everything was empty, pitch, and frozen. The rocking chair I sat in creaked as I began to move in it, back and forth evenly with un-steady movements.

Five

Another second gone by. How many had it been now? I'd just started over from one. I'd been here at least a few hours waiting. Where in hell was Bella?

Six

Time passes painfully slowly, and I have many things to explain to Bella. She's probably so confused… I imagined her face covered in sheen of sweat and her eyebrows knitting together, her forehead creasing.

Seven

If only I weren't a vampire… the seconds would fly by, instead of ticking off slowly one by one. It was all worse knowing I had the chance to fix that. I'd refused though. It was sensible. Otherwise how would Bella react? I had to consult her first. But If I'd just accepted like everyone else I wouldn't feel so different. Jasper of course though, had not accepted the offer.

A familiar dread came over me as I recalled the horrible reason, along with extreme pity for Alice.

Eight

My mental clock rang again. I was awful lonely. So lonely in fact, that I had a mental clock. And it went off every second. Mental clocks that go off every second are important when your left to yourself… destined to be driven insane unless your Bella comes for you. A lot can happen in a second, stuff that can change your life. Just a few words that are part of an offer, an offer said in a few mere seconds. You can think a lot of things in a second… and make a lot of real important decisions as well. Seconds were important.

Nine

I wanted to slam my clock on the floor to break it; it was annoying. Stupid clock.

Ten

That last second went by fast, all I had time for was to think about my clock. If I distracted myself time would go faster, and maybe even my mental clock would die out. But it was boring. Far too boring to get distracted, even when trying.

Eleven

This was ridiculous. I was a vampire and I was literally crazy. Vampires don't go crazy! What was wrong with me? Why was this happening? I, a vampire, was supposed to be able to think clearly and straightly at all times, with a sensible mind. So why was I all confused and bamboozled, my thoughts UN -organized and haywire in my mind, wildly running amuck. Why couldn't I think clearly?

Twelve

I was talking to myself except I was thinking. I was acting strangely also. Why wasn't I acting like a vampire, but like a human? Calm down. I told myself, listening to the comforting rocking of the chair. I was acting so silly and human! Or was I just imagining myself acting like this? Or was this the doing of Caius for being one of the ones to turn down his offer, although I wanted it desperately. Was Jasper, wherever he was, feeling too strange and silly also? He would be if this was Caius' doing, he having refused also. But that was silly really; Caius had acted so nice…

Thirteen

I snapped out of my spiraling thoughts, my head, back to reality. In the distance I could hear a car rumbling, probably coming towards this house. I quickly closed the window I'd sneaked through and listened closer. Was Charlie finally getting home from his job? Why had he stayed in so late? Maybe I would have some thoughts to listen to…

The sound was closer, and I knew that the car was definitely coming to this house. It would be here in about five minutes. I could hear music blaring, which I recognized as 'American Boy' by Estelle. Many different teenager voices were silently conversing, all except the one I so desperately wanted to hear.

"I mean come on." A kid I recognized as Mike said from the car, even closer now. "They were trying to make it all big confession-y like 'He didn't do it! I did!' Dun dun dun! How bad can it get?"

"I know!" I heard Jessica blab. Too bad I couldn't read anyone's thought yet. Not close enough. "That movie was so damn crappy- it sucked. Just plain sucked. My rating is that it's worse than that movie from last year, 'Twilight.' Anyone ever seen it?"

"Nah." All the other kids said. "Twilight got horrible reviews. No one from our school bothered with it."

"Apparently they've made a sequel movie called New Moon. Oh joy…"

I droned it out. If Bella was in the car with them, she was being pretty damn quiet. I waited a few more everlasting minutes, until finally I heard the car pull up into the driveway, meaning Bella was with them.

I smiled to myself. My quiet, shy, Bella and I would be reunited again. Ah, the beauty of it.

"We're here Bella." I heard Mike say. "C'mon. Brighten up. You're being so moody!"

"Isn't she always?" Jessica snobbed. All their thoughts were in hearing range now and I absolutely hated the way the couple was talking about Bella as if she wasn't there. It was horrible and rude.

Finally I heard the long awaited and overdue voice sent from heaven above.

"Guys." Bella said, and I could immediately tell from the tone of her voice that something was horribly wrong, but she was trying to act all casual and happy to put on a show. My mind tightened in anxiety. "Thanks for inviting me… I suppose the movie was um… interesting. 'Graduation Day.' Even the name guaranties un-creative-ness."

"Got that right." Ben murmured.

"Anyway," Bella continued, "Thanks for dropping me off, and um, I guess I'll see you guys at school on Monday."

"Alright." Angela smiled, which I saw through Ben's thoughts. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Fine. I'm sure." Bella responded, but her voice was unsteady, and her eyes held a rather scattered look according to Ben, something I personally agreed with. The girl couldn't fool me.

"Alright. Bye Bella."

Everyone exchanged goodbyes as Bella stood outside of the car, and soon Mike hit the gas, driving off into the grime and dust of the nightly street.

I listened as Bella stood there in front of Chief Swan's house. Why was she just standing there like an idiot? Why wasn't she coming inside so we could finally talk? I was gonna hop out out of her window and go up to the front of the house to approach her, but I didn't just wait so long for nothing, so I continued to wait for her to start moving and step inside.

She was like a frozen statue. She'd stepped out of the car, said goodbye, and the car drove away. She hadn't moved since. Was something wrong with her? As she stood, I got more and more panicked, and was just opening the window to her room when she finally slowly lifted her hands up. I froze, waiting in anticipation. Her left hand covered her forehead, the other moving towards her pocket.

Then, she opened her mouth, taking one deep breath, and screamed.

What?

The scream was shrouded in confusion, and it was fierce and raw and not for pretend. What could make Bella feel so alone and devastated? Was it because of me?

My insides churned, and I immediately jumped out of the window and ran to Bella as fast as possible, on protective instinct.

I reached her instantaneously, wrapping my arms around her torso and pressing myself against her body, feeling the warmth. I kissed her forehead, and lowered my lips down her hairline to her ear. How would I ever be happy again if this was my fault? I would die.

"It's okay." I whispered, my lips gently brushing across her soothingly as I spoke. We stood outside her house on the driveway, where nature crawled about against the green, green, forest, and the moon's light was shining across the world on the dark night. It gave the cold night air a very mysterious and suspicious atmosphere and feeling.

She looked up at me, not saying a word. The sight of her tiny and weak face so covered with tears, all red and puffed up, was my own personal hell. Her face was confused and miserable, as if my absence- and something else I could detect there, was far too much for her and getting to her greatly. Her eyes were sad and confused, as well as angry and tired. Far too much of these moods to talk.

I hoisted her up and easily carried her inside, where I lay her on Charlie's couch by the TV.

"Bella." I whispered as I sat by her, gently tracing her body. "What makes you upset?"

She lifted herself up, leaning against the end of the couch.

"Edward." She said to me. "You're here." And amidst the seemingly confused and miserable vibe she was giving me, she smiled. Classic Bella.

"I'm not upset." She said, shifting herself to lean lovingly on me. "I'm fine. You're finally back. Yay."

"Bella, don't play games with me." I growled. "I need to hunt. So please tell me, were you upset because I wasn't here, although I am now? Was this my fault, love?"

She still grinned feebly as she answered. "Oh, little bit."

I would have freaked out at this truth, but her tone implied something else as she spoke, and I silently waited for more.

Her pretty and rather relieved smile quickly turned into a frustrated frown. "It wasn't you. Not really. After all, you said you would never put me through something like that again. It's more the fact that I just saw your sister." She finished lamely, trying to sound casual and humorous, but horribly failing.

I, meanwhile, froze. I opened my mouth to speak, but I had nothing to say. Oh. She felt as I went frigid against her when I heard what she'd said.

She'd seen Alice! Alice who accepted the offer and was now human! I had been planning to break it to her about the whole offer, to see what Bella thought about it and if she thought I should go back to Volturra and accept, but it was too late now. What should I say?

Bella sensed I wasn't gonna talk, and continued her story.

"After you all left to meet the Volturi and your offer, I waited slowly. Time droned on until finally a week had passed. That day I waited excitedly the second I got out of school by your house until I had to go back to Charlie's for bed."

Oh no.

"I was kind of let down, you can't blame me, but I wasn't that upset yet. I knew there could be some sort of hold up. Another, second week went by, and still no you."

"Bella." I began, mortified. I have so much to explain.

She shushed me. "Not a word of it. Don't you dare go about feeling guilty. You clearly have a good and reasonable explanation and excuse for me when I finish talking. You cannot blame yourself and put this on you. Not everything in the word is your fault Edward."

I put my arm around her as she cuddled up to me, looking up at my face, tight and pained.

"As the next week passed, I got more and more nervous. Finally, tonight, three weeks had passed without you. Two weeks of wondering and worrying for my beloved one. Tonight I was supposed to go see 'Graduation Day' with a few people, and came along as planned. We saw the movie, a piece of crap I might add, and walked back to Mike's car.

"As we walked I began hearing footsteps and seeing shadows. I searched the streets, like looking around and stuff. I was worried that this was maybe a human or a gang of them, the kind I ran into when I was still new to Forks. I knew it wasn't a vampire, my human instincts told me there was no threat nearby. Besides, these were footsteps I heard. Vampires walk quietly. I finally spotted the person's face from the shadows, but only a small bit of it. It was enough though, to realize as Mike drove me home to drop me off, that this person had been human, and Alice. A human Alice." Bella sighed, implying she was done speaking.

"You said goodbye to everyone else." I whispered, leaning my head over hers. "Mike drove away and you stood there for a while, until you screamed just like that."

"Well, imagine if you were in my place. Imagine if you'd been rather very sad and grouchy the past few weeks because your love was gone, and then on top of that you all of a sudden saw Alice as a human. I was tired, confused, and alone at last for the past three weeks. I had to let it out."

"Bella, you scared me, very much. Please try to stay calm from now on. You don't know how frightened I got when you suddenly screamed." The sound of Bella's scream, stressed and raw, continued to echo through my head. "Please never do that again, I can't bear it."

Bella looked up at me. "Neither can I."

"After that I rushed over to you, (I was in your room waiting for you to return so I could explain everything)," I continued, finishing. "And carried you inside. So here we are."

"Here we are," Bella said. "And here I am with the knowledge of a human Alice. You have some explaining to do mister. I've waited patiently and told you why I was so upset. Your turn."

"Alright, my love, but this may take a while. Are you sure you don't want to wait for the morning? Its late, and you're probably exhausted."

"No. Speak."

I sighed. Was Bella ever going to quit being her stubborn self? She was really silly sometimes, and I was in no mood to go through the ordeal of explaining, although I would have to eventually.

"Fine, but let's go up to your room so you can lie down comfortably."

Together we walked up stairs, and she leaned on me for support, needing it due to the fact she was so tired.

"Edward." She murmured. "I'm so happy your back. Here, with me. It's a wonderful feeling…"

We reached her room and she collapsed on her bed. I sat right next to her and held her hand as I began to speak.

"We reached the Volturi's castle, and for a while we just talked and caught up, as Gianna said we would. It was horrible waiting. The curiosity was unbearable. We'd been taken to this big grand table to talk, where we all had beautiful designed nameplates at our specific chosen seats. After we chatted Caius finally began to lead us up the castle. We'd been told that while we'd be given the offer some dishes would be prepared for us. Carlisle immediately refused. 'You know we don't drink human blood! You were just talking about it!'" I said in a good impersonation of Carlisle.

"'Not human blood, human food.' Aro had said to us. Confused and wary, we were taken farther and farther up to the castle, until we finally entered this tiny rectangular room, which was old and musty.

"In the center was a tiny object on a small table, covered in a blanket. I watched as Caius eyed it with love, hope, and protective feelings. Ever since we'd arrived all three vampires had been carefully disguising their thoughts as to what the offer was, but now Caius was finally starting to reveal a little bit. He started speaking, and as he spoke more of the offer was given to me through his thoughts, until I knew completely what it was, as did the rest of my family from Caius' hints."

"What was it?" Bella asked. She had just been practically asleep, but now she looked up at me with sudden interest.

"Wait. I'm not there yet." I said, wondering how I should say this to her. There were millions of different approaches I could choose, and ways to tell her I had turned down the offer. "There was only one thing I still could not read from Caius' mind, and that was the true reason behind the offer. He'd told us it was because he knew this was something we all desperately wanted, and since he was able to provide our biggest wishes to us, there was no reason he shouldn't."

"Edward!" Bella pulled and tugged at my sleeve. "Get to the point! Save the details for tomorrow. I'm tired and just want to know the offer and why Alice was human and why you were late!"

"Those are the details."

"Fine, but hurry it up!" She huffed at me, lying back down.

"The second he had lied about his reason we all knew that it wasn't the truth. I spent a lot of time searching his thoughts that week for the true reason, but it was so deeply hidden after a while I stopped bothering. We all knew before Caius even told us what the offer was."

"What was it?"

"To be human again. Caius said he knew of a way to make us human again." I whispered, leaning down to kiss her. Our lips interlocked and she clutched on to me tightly as I leaned down. The usual giddy feeling ran through me, but then the thirst. I desperately needed to hunt, having not done so since the time three and a half weeks ago that when we got back we listened to the messages.

I felt Bella's breath on my face, warm and smelling of buttery popcorn. That and the rest of Bella pulled me in, but I knew I had to stop.

I pushed her away, something which was part of the usual routine as well. She was quiet for a while as I stared down at her. She was dazzled, yet deep in thought.

"Why did you say no?" She finally asked.

I stared down at her, and her deep chocolate brown eyes smoldered into mine as she gazed at me with the look she always wears when I assume she is thoroughly dazzled.

"I refused because…" I had to look away. This was so hard to say; I didn't know how. "I was worried. Remember that conversation we had when I got back from my last hunting trip? When Alice was still having those visions? We had it right before we gathered in the kitchen to hear the message from Gianna. When we knew nothing of the offer."

"Yeah." Bella's brow furrowed. "We were talking about how strong you were and how you sneaked up on me undetected, and you said it wasn't your fault because you could do that because you were a vampire…? And that you would all be human if it were up to you. All you Cullen's."

"Exactly." I murmured. "Then what?"

"I'm confused. That is what you said, I'm sure of it. So then how come you refused the offer? It's what you have always ever wanted!"

"Your what I've always wanted, Bella. Secondly, what did I say after that?" I asked her, sighing. I wanted this to be over. I don't get why I can't just spit it out, why I have to do it this way.

More seconds ticked by, and I was afraid my mental clock would start up again. My mind reeled at the agonizing thought.

Bella's eyes widened as she realized where I was going, showing her wonderful beauty. She'd taken a long time, the human she was, and I was relived the cat was out of the bag.

"Edward." She whispered. "Why would you… that's so silly!"

"Then I'd said to you that I would be worried if I was human." I said what she'd just guessed. "Worried that you wouldn't like me if I was no longer a vampire that was strong, fast, and beautiful. I told you I was worried you wouldn't want me anymore if I was human."

She sat up and I let her lean against me, wrapping my arms around her.

"Yes." She said. "And then I told you that was silly. I told you that I truly loved you for the beautiful and wonderful person you are on the inside, not your vampire status!"

"Anyway." I continued, ignoring her. "When Caius finally told us the offer, I refused, for the exact reason I just told you. I thought that when I got back I would ask you what you thought of the whole concept of a human me. I was gonna ask if you would still like me as a human."

"Did anyone else refuse? I mean I know that's silly in your family but I can't help but wonder…"

"Jasper." I said. "He turned it down as well."

Bella didn't look surprised. "I've been suspicious of him for a while now. He's been acting so strange. Why did he turn it down?"

"I'll tell you tomorrow. Anyway, Carlisle, Esme, Rose, Emmet, and Alice all became human."

"I can't wait to see Emmet." Bella grinned with pleasure. "Has he tripped yet?"

"That's not important." I sighed. "And for the record, yes, in fact Emmet has tripped. Quite a few times."

Bella laughed, and the sound filled me up with hope that everything would be okay, even thought it wouldn't.

"Moving on. I will tell you how they became human in the morning. Right now I just wanna finish up to a certain point. We were stuck in Italy for two weeks, much longer than we would have ever thought. I apologize Bella, but my family became human the day after we arrived, and then they all needed the next two weeks to adjust. I would have returned to you alone, but just like you they were my family and I felt they needed me."

"Understandable." Bella nodded.

"My family was stuck in the Volturi castle for those two weeks while they got used to being humans with Aro's personal help. I tried contacting you to let you know of the delay, but all phone lines were shut off due to being in the castle, which is old school and has no cell services. I was planning on going to the city to call you on a pay phone, but Aro forbid me to leave the castle for reasons he kept to himself.

"Finally the two weeks passed and we were free to go. Within a day we were back in the states, all our new selves. My family kind of broke up after that, by ourselves. Jasper stayed somewhere in Europe, and Carlisle and Esme went to Manhattan to work there, where a great doctor job was available to Carlisle. Emmet and Rose went to Rose's hometown where she was born. I didn't know where Alice went until now- apparently she went Port Angeles if you saw her. So she went to Port Angeles and must have happened to see you walking back to where Mike's car was parked. You two just ran into each other coincidentally. She just so happened to find you. Once she saw you she probably tried to go undetected so you wouldn't notice, but wanted to keep watching you."

"Well I guess that kind of explains things." Bella took a deep uneasy breath to calm down.

"I'm almost done." I said. "The reason we all broke up is because it was almost as if those of us who changed were… different people. Those two weeks in the castle there had been a horrible awkward air and atmosphere in the castle. It was very, very, awkward. And we had no idea what to say to each other. When we were able to leave we all decided it would be better to break up for a while and do our own things until we got more used to the whole concept.

"Of course I went straight to Forks, but there were a few, er, weeklong hold ups."

"What?" Bella asked me. "I was wondering why if you were only held at the Volturi castle for two weeks you were gone for three! What were the hold ups?"

"Listen my love." I mumbled, rubbing her arm. "Tomorrow. The rest tomorrow. Anyway I went straight to Forks, got held up, and once I was finished with the complications, I rushed strait here. I climbed through your window and waited in your room for you to arrive. I'd been waiting a few hours when you were finally dropped off."

"Okay." Bella murmured, looking up at me. "Thanks. This is all settled…kinda."

"I'm so happy to be back." I whispered, cupping her face in my hands and gently kissing her. "Good night young beauty."

"Good night…" She began, and sounded like she was going to say something else, but her heartbeat and breathing had slowed, and she was in a deep, beautiful sleep.

AN Wow, this was the longest chapter I have ever written. (Which explains the late update.) To thank me how about you submit a review? :D I already apologize for any grammar and spelling errors, but also some other things. I am deeply worried that this was WAAAY to long. It is over 5,000 words! SO please tell me if the whole thing was just me and the characters rambling on and on and blabbing about nothing, which I highly suspect. Tell me if there were too many un-necessary parts and I never got to the point. Thanks! I am also worried that this was VERY confusing. Tell me if it was hard to understand what was going on and how things ended up happening please. I do believe this is my absolute worse chapter, and that it was long, confusing, and suckish. Anyway please please give me constructive critisism and reviews! I want this to get beta'd through reviews! I don't mind flames for this chapter! Review!

Frankiegirl61