Okay. So I'd just like to say that I wrote this like two years ago. I wasn't into showing the story as much as I was writing it all down before my muse ran away and I forgot what I was going to say. So I basically just sat down and hurriedly wrote down the first few episodes. In any case, my writing suffered. And so far, I've just been copy and pasting from what I had written before. But I'm getting rather annoyed with myself. So from here on out, I'm rewriting it all. Or at least trying to. I'm kind of just adding more detail, I'm kind of lazy and don't wanna fuss with it too much. But I did think it was very lacking in detail and emotion. Hopefully this will get you guys (and myself and muse) more into it. We'll see how this goes. (:

Feel free to give some feedback!

Jude felt like she was melting. She could smell his hair gel and cologne. This was so familiar to her. Her heart swelled with warmth and she let her heart take over and enjoy what was about to happen. Though her heart was in charge, her head was screaming to her to stop. At the very last second, it finally clicked in her brain. "Tommy," she whispered before their lips were about to meet.

Tommy put his forehead on hers, "What..." he whispered as he still held her chin and rubbed her cheek with thumbs.

She could feel the heat of his breath on her as he spoke. Smell the cool, winterfresh taste of the gum he was chewing, and she could practically taste his breath, which only made things that much harder for her. "I- I-," she stammered. She couldn't seem to think properly. Why did I have to go on that stupid drive? she asked herself. I can't do this... But I don't wanna stop... She looked up at him and smiled. He looked like a little boy. A cute little boy that just found out he could have ice cream for breakfast. Eager with excitement and passion very evident in his eyes. She couldn't help smile when she was with him. But she also couldn't do this.

Tommy looked confused. The excitement was draining from his eyes, being replaced with confusion instead. Why was she stopping him? Though there was much confusion in his eyes, the passion still remained. He wasn't going to give up that easy. Hadn't it always been her that wanted him? What was going on? He leaned in to kiss her again and whispered her name.

Jude sighed and pulled away, "Tommy." she said slowly. "I can't." She sighed again and looked out on the water. She couldn't bear look at him right now. She knew that this was going to hurt him again. And herself too, but she made a promise to herself.

"Jude... Please..." he said quietly as he grabbed her hand. Tommy couldn't imagine for the life of him why he was getting shot down by the girl he loved again. He'd waited all this time for her to come back, and thought their reunion was going to be a happy one. Sure she broke up with him before, but that didn't mean anything, right? He could see where this was going and he didn't like it one bit. He dropped her hand and took a deep breath looking away from her. He couldn't bear this a second time.

She shook her head and saw the look on his face. Her heart hurt so badly for him, and she could feel her girl emotions start to kick in as her eyes started to well up with tears. She sniffled, "Tommy, I don't want to get into this whole thing again." she said. "I can't do it."

Tommy just looked at her. He had the same hurt look as before, but this one was a little more complicated. The confusion in his eyes was gone. In its place was hurt. The little passion that had been left in his eyes was now being replaced with anger. And a bit of blankness was stirred in as well. No one but Tommy could pull off a look as complicated as that. "You can't do what, Jude?" he asked the anger making itself more present in his voice than anywhere else.

"This!" she said exasperatedly. She couldn't believe he was asking that question. He should already know the answer. She figured maybe he just wanted to hear her say it. "Us. I can't keep this weird romantic thing between us. It always ends badly."

Tommy was silent. He looked at her pursing his lips together. Then he stood up angrily and walked to the railing of the dock. He grabbed the railing and leaned on it, letting his shoulders and head fall in defeat. He knew she was right. They did have quite a history, but still. He turned to her, "Then why come out here with me? Lead me on? Don't you think you got enough pay back when you just left me at your goodbye concert?"

She stood up and crossed the dock herself. "Tommy, you know it's not like that!" she said a bit hurt that he would accuse her of 'revenge' like that. She was better than that, and they both knew it.

He stood up straight and angrily turned to face her, glaring at her, "Then what is it like? Why'd you fly all the way over here? To play with my emotions?"

He was getting louder, and more upset. She sighed and placed her hands on both sides of his face. "No," she said quietly. He put his hands on her waist and closed the distance between them. "That wasn't what I wanted at all. I knew this was going to be hard Tommy, but I just can't do this with you. Not right now."

"Jude, I care about you more than anything in the world," he said quietly. The looks on his face was absolutely unreadable.

"I know, Tommy. But I need to be alone." she said. "I need to experience life without someone beside me constantly." She dropped her hands from his face and looked back out on the water as the sun was starting to set.

Tommy followed suit and looked out onto the water as well, "So that's it then. There's no us." he said angrily.

Jude was quiet. Even though she got what she wanted, she didn't want to get it this way. She didn't want to not have him. More than anything she wanted him to come with her to London and get married like the old plan they once had. But she needed a little time by herself before she was able to make a commitment the huge. Even if she wasn't going to make a commitment, she still needed clarity for her music, and Tommy was anything but clear. She shook her head, "No, I don't want that either..." she said finally looking towards him.

He looked at her with a stony face. "Make up your mind." he said through his teeth.

"I still want to be able to talk to you and hang out with you. And maybe even write with you. But I can't do MY music if we get involved again." she said looking directly into his bright blue eyes.

Tommy nodded sadly, "Then goodbye Jude." he said as he pushed off the railing and turned to leave.

"Goodbye?" she asked looking up at him, "What do you mean goodbye?" she asked incredulously.

Tommy sighed and turned back to her, "Jude, I don't think you get it. I love you. I want to be with you. And if not, then fine. But I can't be friends with you. I can't just have something I want so badly dangling in front of me like that." He was surprising himself with just how truthful that statement was.

She looked at him and cocked her head. "An ultimatum huh?" she asked sticking her hands in her back pockets.

Tommy folded his arms and readjusted his stance, "Yeah." he said quickly.

Jude looked at him and then at the ground. "I can't choose something like that." she said. This was killing her. She never thought her first visit with Tommy would end up like this. End up with the prospect of it being her last.

Tommy shrugged, "Why not? You did when you went to London, what's so hard now?" he asked angrily.

"It was hard then too!" she told him getting frustrated with him. Why was he being so difficult? It's not like he hadn't ever done this to her. But this is different. She actually had a reason. Her music.

"It didn't seem hard. You left without a backwards glance," he said he turned away from her not wanting to look at her anymore.

Jude nodded and sat back down on the edge of the dock. She dangled her feet. "Tommy. You don't know how much I want to tell you that we should give it a try. To tell you that I'm in love with you too... I love you Tommy, but I just can't play this game anymore. I just..." she started. She couldn't finish the rest of the sentence.

"Yeah, I know." he said. "Your music." he turned around. "Let me just take you home Jude." he said icily.

She nodded and got up. The sun had almost set by now. So all that was left was the twilight from the glow. They walked to his car, and he drove her home. No one spoke a word the whole time, making the air inside the car extremely tense. She looked out the window as tears rolled down her face. She couldn't help it.

When he pulled up to her house he purposely looked out his window. She just sat there and looked at him for a few seconds before grabbing her guitar and notebook and got out. "Goodnight Tommy," she said before closing the door. As soon as the door was closed, his car sped off. She stood there for a few moments. What have I done? she thought. She shook her head in disappointment. She loved him. Now, he probably hated her. But she still loved him. And she just broke his heart. And... she broke her own.

"Jude... Juuude. Wake up Jude." said a distant voice. "Jude! GET UP!"

She felt a sharp pain on her shoulder, "Ow!" Someone had just punched her on the shoulder. She sat up and opened her eyes as best she could. Her eyes were so puffy from crying the night before, she could barely open them She managed, felt like she was looking through slits. She saw Speiderman's smiling face looking at her.

"Whoa! Dude, did you get into a fight last night?" he asked her laughing.

Jude made a face, "Oh shut up you jerk and give me a hug." she said jumping up. She looked around while she hugged him. She looked around the room as she hugged him and realized she was in the living room. Last night had been so terrible she barely remembered walking inside and crashing on the couch. "I've missed you!" she said with a smile.

"Yeah, me too!" said Speid smiling at her. Suddenly he burst out in laughter. "Dude, you look terrible!" he said. "Can't you do something about that?" he asked through laughter.

"The spoon trick will make me look even goofier," she said with a chuckle. She went into the kitchen and pulled out two spoons from the freezer that she had kept in there for an emergency such as this. She grabbed them and held them under her eyes. "That better?" she asked.

Speid laughed, "Do you want an honest answer?" he replied.

She rolled her eyes, "So what have you been up to. Fleeing from the rath of an angry trailer kept wife?" she asked with a grin as she sat on the couch.

"Wow, you know about that, huh?" he asked surprised at how quickly word gets around.

"Yeah.. Sadie and Tommy told me." she said. "Tommy told me she dumped a salad on his head, how's she been for you?" she asked. As soon as she said Tommy's name she remembered what had happened last night. Not that she had really forgotten, it was just all brought back into her mind. She pushed it away as she talked to Speid.

"Ag, life is freaking crazy. She hates it there. And everything I do is wrong," he said. "She's gone crazy!" he said. "I heard you were in town so I thought I'd come and visit. I needed a break from her, anyways." he said.

She smiled at him, "Well I'm glad that I could be your Karma remedy." she said.

Speiderman smiled, "So, you talked to Tommy, huh?" he said. "So how is Lord Squinty Frown?" he asked her with a smile.

Jude shrugged, "He's fine I guess," she said. "Busy with Karma's album. That's pretty much it." she lied. She tried to make it seem like everything was okay, but it was hard. She didn't really want to relive last night again, so she just left it at that. For all Speiderman knew, she had just spoke to him briefly in passing.

"Oh... So nothing's going on between you two then?" he asked with a sly grin.

Jude gave him a look, "No, nothing." she said.

"Then how come Karma came home early today complaining about how Quincy was moodier than normal?" he asked with a slight chuckle. The only reason for Tommy to be even more of a moody diva, was because of Jude. Everyone knew that.

"I don't know," she said quickly and defensively. She really didn't want to get into this with him. "Maybe because he's Tommy. He's always got things going on with him." she added.

Speid smiled, "Oh, things like... THIS!" he said. He pulled out three magazines out of his jacket and threw them on the table. On the cover of all three were pictures of her and Tommy cuddling, and having their heads together.

"Oh no." she said aloud. She picked one up that had the title, 'instant lovers'. She opened it and read aloud. "Jude Harrison comes back from London. Now we know why. She came to visit beau, and former Boyz Attack member, Tommy Q. They rekindled their love for a few hours before heading back to Harrison's house." Jude sighed and put the article down.

"So if you guys are back together, why is he so moody?" asked Speid.

Jude stared at the magazines, and then looked up at Speiderman tilting her head to one side.

"Oh, Ooooh," said Speiderman in a tone of realization. She didn't really have to say it, he could tell from the look what had happened. "You're not back together." In traditional Jude and Tommy style, of course.

"No, and now these papers are all over the place," she said. "Which is only going to make things worse..." her voice trailed off wondering what was going to happen next. She picked up a magazine and looked at it shaking her head. She had been in Toronto for less than twenty four hours, and she already ended up in so much drama with Tommy that she landed on the front of tabloids... great.

Speid smiled at her, "Oh no is right." he said standing up. "Well, I gotta go tend to my needy wife," he said. "I'll catch you later." he said holding out his fist.

Jude mustered up as big of a smile as she could and pounded his fist. "All right," she said.

Speid smiled one last time and shook his head laughing at the spoons. Jude rolled her eyes and threw one of them at him hitting him in the back of the head. "Ow!" he said before leaving.

Jude took off the other spoon, and her eyes weren't puffy anymore. She looked down at the magazines and shook her head. "This can't be good." she said to herself.

She wondered if Tommy had seen them yet. Suddenly the chorus of Here We Go Again played on her phone. It was a text message, from none other than Tommy Q himself. "Oh my gosh! First you hate me, now you wanna talk to me?" she said flipping open her phone. "And you tell me to make up my mind..." she said to herself. That boy had about as many mood swings as a pregnant lady.

She opened the text message and read alound, "We need to talk." Jude rolled her eyes. She didn't have time for this drama, and the last thing she wanted to do was fight with Tommy some more and have another break down. She shook her head and texted back. "Didn't we do enough talking last night?" She closed her phone, and there was a knock on the door.

She got up and walked to the door. She saw the shadow of a person and knew it was Tommy. "What do you want Tommy?" she said through the door. A hand raised and knocked again. She sighed, opened the door and gasped at the sight. Jude's stomach dropped.

It wasn't Tommy, not even close.