Hi again. I don't think this is as funny as the last chapter, so for all of you guys who were expecting something spectacular to happen next, I'm sorry but this isn't that good. This also gets a bit rude and gross so don't read it if your under 13. If any of you guys review to tell me how bad the second chapter is, then please refrain from swearing. This is also slightly OCC (for Edward) so I know some of you are gonna be like 'Edward would never ever do THAT!!' yeah, I know. Again I am sorry that this is craptastic (I have low self esteem). Read on if you dare………..

PsychicFashionista-Alice

EmoKid-Jasper

BeautifulBlonde-Rosalie

DowntownGrizzly-Emmett

JustBella-Bella

SexyBeast has entered this conversation

DowntownGrizzly has entered this conversation

EmoKid has entered this conversation

SexyBeast: Hello?

EmoKid: 'Sup.

DowntownGrizzly: YO YO SEXYKIDDO!

SexyBeast: Actually Emmett, it's SexyBeast.

DowntownGrizzly: Well it should be SexyKiddo since your still in the body of a kid.

SexyBeast: EMMETT I AM IN THE BODY OF A 17 YEAR OLD!!

DowntownGrizzly: Edward, you haven't even reached puberty.

SexyBeast: Of course I have! I am in a 17 year olds body for God's sake!

DowntownGrizzly: How come you haven't got any hair under your armpits?

SexyBeast:…………….I…er……….shave…………

Downtown: HAAAA!! OMFG LOL!! YOU SHAVE!! HAAA!!

SexyBeast: IT'S A GUY-SHAVE

DowntownGrizzly: Yeah WHATEVER! You can't even grow a beard.

SexyBeast: So why are there all those used shavers in my bin? I can't have used them all on shaving under my armpits. HAHA I got you there Emmett.

DowntownGrizzly: EDWARD! You used those shavers to shave your legs!

JustBella has entered this conversation

JustBella: Hi guys.

EmoKid: 'Sup

DowntownGrizzly: YO YO BELLA-O

SexyBeast: BELLA!! My sweet love has joined us again, oh what a great day for humankind, OH OH Bel--

JustBella: Edward PLEASE stop doing that, it's freaking me out.

SexyBeast: Anything you say my sweet, the passion I feel for you is so strong that I will do anything for you…

JustBella: SLEEP WITH ME!!

SexyBeast: Anything, but that.

JustBella: Damn.

DowntownGrizzly: Don't worry Bella, he just doesn't know how to do it so…..

JustBella: OMG Edward is that true!

SexyBeast: NO!! EMMETT SHUT UP!! OF COURSE I KNOW HOW TO….

DowntownGrizzly: Edward you have been single for god knows how many years and yet you're still a virgin!! WTF??

SexyBeast: I was waiting for the right girl to come along and now she has so--

JustBella: SO SLEEP WITH ME ALREADY!

SexyBeast: I don't want to hurt you….

DowntownGrizzly: Bella, trust me, that's not the reason. It's because he hasn't got a clue what to do…But don't worry because Carlisle is going to give him the 'birds and the bees' talk.

SexyBeast: no no nooooooo please don't tell me Carlisle is going to do that!!

DowntownGrizzly: I'm sorry Eddie, but he is.

PsychicFashionista has entered this conversation

BeautifulBlonde has entered this conversation

PsychicFashionista: Hi Jazzykins, Eddikins, Emmikins, Rosikins and Bellakins.

EmoKid: 'Sup

SexyBeast: Greetings dear sister.

DowntownGrizzly: YO YO SIS-O

JustBella: Hi.

BeautifulBlonde: Yeah whatever they said. Anyway what have you guys been talking about?

SexyBeast: Well--

DowntownGrizzly: WE HAVE JUST BEEN TALKING ABOUT HOW EDWARD SHAVES HIS ARMPITS AND LEGS AND WHY HE WON'T SLEEP WITH BELLA (he doesn't know how to).

JustBella: EDWARD!! YOU SHAVE YOUR ARMPITS AND LEGS!!

SexyBeast: er……..

JustBella: SNAP!!

DowntownGrizzly: Yeah he probably shaves his pubic hair off too.

PsychicFashionista: ewwww yuck.

BeautifulBlonde: I really did not need to hear that Emmett.

Emokid: (does freaky emo laugh)

JustBella: OMFG EDWARD! Do YOU shave your pubic hair off? THAT IS GROSS!

SexyBeast: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOO! I DO NOT! STOP MAKING THINGS UP EMMETT YOU RETARDED PHSYCOPATH!

DowntownGrizzly: hehehehehehehehehe

BeautifulBlonde: Can we please change the topic of conversation?

JustBella: Oh dear God yes please.

PsychicFashionista: Bella why are you called JustBella?

SexyBeast: Oh yes, I have always wondered what the motives behind that name were.

JustBella: Well I am just Bella. I haven't got a superpower like you guys, I am not ultra attractive like Rosalie (I don't care what you say Edward, I know I am not) I am just average, hence the name JustBella.

BeautifulBlonde: BELLA I LOVE YOU!!

JustBella: um…….great……..I guess……….

SexyBeast: No that won't do. You are not average AT ALL Bella. Your affectionate, kind-hearted, tender, sensitive NOT TO MENTION EXTREMELY SEXY WHILST WEARING A BIKINI!

EmoKid: Aah please stop those feelings Ed, I do not want to have to start 'pleasuring myself' because YOU have got a kick out of imagining Bella in a particularly skimpy bikini. STOP IT PLEASE!

BeautifulBlonde: WOW! I never thought I'd see the day when Jasper wrote a WHOLE sentence. I must say that was incredible Jasper although it was a bit confusing, I've never seen you convey so much emotion. Wow…….

EmoKid: NOOOO! Look what you've done Edward! You have made me lose my Emo-ness!

PsychicFashionista: I still love you JAZZIKINS!

Emokid: Good I am returning to my emo-state again, goodbye.

SexyBeast: Let us return to the main topic of conversation. Jasper I have no idea what you're talking about, your 'bodily needs' has absolutely NOTHING to do with me--

JustBella: EDWARD! How do you know I look sexy in a bikini?

SexyBeast: ummm….well…. you know when you, Alice and Rosalie had that slumber party and Alice forced you into a Bikini…..

JustBella: HOW do you know that! I thought you went out hunting that night…

SexyBeast: I lied…… I spied on you…I wanted to see you in sexy underwear…I'm sorry.

JustBella: I am speechless…

DowntownGrizzly: HAHA! EDWARD THE PERV!! NEXT THING HE'LL DO IS TAKE PICTURES OF BELLA IN THE SHOWER AND THEN PUT THEM UP ON HIS WALL!! HAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA!!

PsychicFashionista: Since it was only Bella who wore the extremely revealing lingerie's, I am not too upset. But still, that was nasty Edward.

EmoKid: yeh

BeautifulBlonde: Yeah Edward that was mean (even if it was Bella).

JustBella: ……Bursts into uncontrollable flood of tears…..

SexyBeast: OH BELLA MY LOVE I BEG FOR FORGIVENESS! HOW COULD I BE SO CRUEL! I AM A MONSTER! OH BELLA I AM SO SORRY I NEVER MEANT TO HURT YOU SO! IF YOU DON'T LOVE ME ANYMORE I UNDERSTAND, I THINK I MIGHT GO AND CURL UP IN A CORNER AND DIE. GOODBYE MY LOVE…..

JustBella: Ahhh Edward wait….

SexyBeast: Yes, my sweet but betrayed by a callous monster like me, love?

JustBella: Did you like me in the bikini and underwear?

SexyBeast: Yes OF COURSE! OH what a sinner I am….thinking lustful thoughts…..I shall go and punish myself…..

BeautifulBlonde: Oh God calm down Edward, it's not the end of the world.

EmoKid: yeh

JustBella: Edward….what you did was totally disgusting, mean and DISRESTPECTFUL!

SexyBeast: I know….I'm sorry……I shall go and tell Carlisle I have been a naughty boy…..I am sure he will think of a suitable punishment.

DowntownGrizzly: DUDE! that sounds weird.

Emokid: yeh

JustBella: Aww Eddiekins……..

SexyBeast: (does cute, dazzling look at the computer screen)

JustBella: Aww I can imagine that look…. I will forgive you Edward…

SexyBeast: YAY!

JustBella: IF….

SexyBeast: Damn

JustBella: IF you dress in those bikinis and lingerie's and let us take photos of you in them.

DowntownGrizzly: HAAAA THAT IS AWESOME BELLA! I couldn't have thought of something better myself! THIS IS GOING TO BE PRICELESS! I guess some of my cool-ness is rubbing off on you.

PsychicFashionista: Ha OMG I can already see him wearing them haaa LOL this is going to be sooo FUNNY!

EmoKid: yeh

SexyBeast: Bella, are you that desperate to wash away every last thread of my manly-ness?

JustBella: YES

SexyBeast: For you, my love, I would do anything (except sleep with you).

JustBella: YAY then I totally forgive you, actually I thank you for giving us the excuse of dressing you up in ladies underwear.

SexyBeast: (groans) Well at least you've forgiven me… Let us resume the love conversation…. I LOVE YOU BELLA!! I HAVE NEVER LOVED ANYONE APART FROM YOU!! (ok, basically, this feeling is totally new to me and I am getting strange urges that I have never had before, I am discovering places on my body I never knew I had, thank you Bella, thank you…) anyway I LOVE YOU BELLA I LOVE YOU I LOVE BEING IN LOVE OH I AM IN LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVELY LOVELY BUBBLY LOVE LOVE LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--

BeautifulBlonde: Enough already! I am totally grossed out by what you just said Edward, I think you need counselling.

EmoKid: yeh

JustBella: Is shocked into silence….

SexyBeast: BELLA MY SWEET, MY LOVE, MY DRUG, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

JustBella: ummm yeah I love you too……..yeah great……WHAT ABOUT YOUR BODY??

SexyBeast: (virtually kisses Bella, gives great big hug, does dazzling smile)

JustBella: OMG I have just forgotten the totally weird thing you just said Eddie all I can think about is that dazzling smile….

SexyBeast: I LOVE YOU

JustBella: I LOVE YOU TOO EDDIE-TEDDY

SexyBeast: WHAT!!

If you read all of that, well done for getting to the end. It was rubbish, I know… (sniff) … oh well…. Can you guys tell me if there is at least one OK-ish bit about it? pleeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeeeeeeeee I know I can't really use this excuse anymore but……… I am only 13 so please don't batter my self confidence too much whilst reviewing (if you even bother). Thank you.