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Journal of Keitaro Urashima Manager of Hinta All Girls Dorm

January 1, 2000

Today was a day of many firsts for me. I not only saw but got felt up by a girl, (okay she thought I was someone named Kitsune but still), I saw said girl and another. And when I say saw I mean full nude body with nothing left to the imagination! Normally I would've been excited and would've most likely fainted from blood loss, but this wasn't a normal day. On a normal day I get up study, go to cram school, go home, eat instant ramen, and study even more. Huh, I really did have no social life. Guess Hianti and Shiranti were right, for once. Yet on this fateful day I also got blasted to kingdom come by some giant metal turtle contraption, which fired off missiles! Then some kendo girl attacked me the moment I fell outside and I was sure my life was over!

Maybe this will all make more sense if I started from the beginning. This morning I learned that once again I failed, (again), to get into Tokyo University. As a result I was quite literally kicked out of the house I grew up in. No seriously, all of my belongings were packed and the house lock was different. Only reason I wasn't worried, much, was because Granny ran an inn so maybe I could crash there until I am able to return home without having to worry about neighbors calling the cops. So I dragged my stuff onto the tram and head for the old inn. Now this is going to be sounding weird but on the ride over I could've sworn the voices in my head were warning me not to go. Probably the effects of all those all nighters are finally catching up to me. Ah it doesn't matter in the long run, the sun is shining, birds are chipping music from heaven and there isn't a cloud in the sky to behold! Nothing would go wrong today, absolutely nothing. I honestly don't remember much after that expect for the fact that there was sure a whole of girls in the old inn.

SPLASH!

Sputtering indigently because of the rude awakening, Keitaro found himself looking up at his smoking, (in more ways than one according to Shrianti), aunt. However due to the position she was in when she poured the water onto him he saw more than her face. Huh who knew Auntie wore black lacy panties. Was the last coherent thought Keitaro had before he passed out due to massive blood loss. When he came around again, he heard a scream then gunfire. Sighing Keitaro got out of bed and walked over to where his suitcases were in a pile. As he removed the blood/water stained clothes he heard another scream which quickly was reduced to a gurgle then nothing. Grabbing fresh cloths Keitaro walked out and down the stairs to the kitchen of the tea house. Walking out to the tables, Keitaro was shocked that there wasn't unconscious Yazuka, or Triad members lying around with their limbs askew blood pooling in large circles around the deceased. Unfortunately this was once a regular occurrence, when word got out that Hina was leaving for her trip around the world, every gang stopped by and "offered their protection". After sending the first few to the hospital with, quite literally, every bone broken in their body the higher ups decided to torch the place. Instead the end result was the former gang members where now proud contributors to the society of Japan. Heck, Keitaro heard one of the former Yazuka leaders was now running a successful law firm. As said man once said "All I know is how to rob, lie, and cheat. I already had the suit all I needed was a briefcase".

The shop was had many people in it but they were all crowded around something. Walking forward cautiously, Keitaro tripped on thin air and fell forward. Arms failing out to grab something, he ended up pulling the skirt down one of the waitress and the other pulled down the skirt of someone else. Jumping up quickly Keitaro spurted out a hastily thrown together apology on how it was all an accident when one of the workers said to him "Best say your prayers and pray for a quick merciful death hon, you just angered her."

Turing around slowly Keitaro found his self looking into the face of a none too happy Haruka. Glancing down quickly he paled as he realized that one of the skirts he had pulled down was hers. Well damn it. A quick death from her is impossible; no he'll be lucky if she gives him a long merciless death. Raising hands in the air "I'm sososososo sorry Aun-" was all he managed to get out before her fan hit collided with his head.

"Baka" was all Haruka muttered as she lit up another cigarette.

As Keitaro came around, again, he off handily thought of the old saying "third times the charm". Rising up from the floor were apparently they had left him after Haruka's no to gentle hit on the head. A faint throbbing could be felt on the top part of his head. Dusting his self off he noted that there was blood on his cloths, (fell face forward and broke his nose), and for some reason his nose hurt. Shrugging it off Keitaro followed the smell of a smoker smoking and found his Aunt standing outside. Walking over to stand next to her neither spoke and instead just enjoyed the night. Though it was midnight, the bright full moon illuminated the small backyard garden Haruka owned. In the garden she grew tea leaves so she wouldn't have to buy as much. A small pond was nestled in the back corner were the most beautiful water plant grew. The fine details on the petals seemed transparent in from the moon's glow. The result was that it emphasized the green veins on the rosy flower. So caught up in the splendor of the garden Keitaro didn't hear Haruka calling him until she added a new bruise to his collection.

"Ah, sorry about that Aun.. I mean Haruka" Keitaro noted fearfully how she was already in the wind up for another whack and his survival instincts took over and saved what few brain cells he had left. Noting with a sigh of relief as Haruka lowered her fan arm but didn't put it away. Giving her a quick once over he noted that her top didn't match her long frilly violet dress but even Keitaro knows better than to criticize a women's fashion sense.

"About time you learned, muttered Haruka taking stock of her lanky, nephew. To ensure that he was always happy Haruka has sworn in her heart of hearts to always look over him and do what she can to help him. However this didn't extend to fighting his battles. He had grown since he had last seen her but he was still dumber than a bag of hammers. His glasses had a hairline crack going through them. His feeble appearance often times gave bullies the idea that they could easily beat him. Little did they know that this scrawny boy has had martial arts training galore. True he only practiced the defensive part of the family style, but this was more than enough to convince bullies that there are easier targets. She would never admit it but whenever he called her auntie made her feel as if she were his mother. Yet at the same time it served as a reminder of Seta. Reminded her of the family she would never be able to raise with her love. So whenever she is torn between hugging and kissing him, or ripping his balls off and forcing him to eat them; she chose to comprise. Hence the whack with the fan.

"Anyway Kei do you remember anything of last night?" inquired Haruka. At the shake of his head, she proceeded to tell him of the previous nights events. Haruka had heard quite loud and clear that there was some male on the premises, so lighting up another she headed up the ridiculously long staircase to the dorm; to save the male before they were either sued or were issued restraining orders, again. Now image her surprise when said male in question was none other than her nephew, Keitaro. He was literally in a human shaped crater with Motoko brandishing her sword below his belt, Naru cracking her knuckles and Su as she adjusted the banana shaped laser sights on him. Dropping her death stick and crushing it under her foot Haruka walked up all the while lighting up another. That was around the time Keitaro started to lose conscious but a threat that if he did, then she will leave him to their tender mercy. Taking it seriously Keitaro shot up and listened as Haruka informed of his new job. He fainted and when he fell he got a face full of Mistune's babies. Thus the reason why Haruka kept him in the tea shop over night so there was no chance the girls would eliminate him permanently. Throughout the whole retelling Keitaro 's facial expression remained stoic but on the inside it was a turmoil.

The more perverted part of him was rejoicing at the chance of scoring with all of the girls, his reasonable part was wondering if there were any sticker booths around, but the one emotion that was stronger than all the others was the survival instinct. Unknowingly he had taken several steps backward when he fell and hit his head against a giant metal garden gnome. Last thought he had was well the worst part is over. From here on out it will be smooth sailing.

Bending over her idiot of a nephew, Haruka noted that even asleep he smiled. It wasn't a large smile nor was it a smirk. Instead it gave off a feeling of wellness and that you were safe around him. Haruka adored that smile, the smile that was a comfort for her on the hard nights and she never got over the joy of seeing his dimples whenever he smiled. Little did she know this was going to be one of the last times she saw him so happy and at peace.

Meanwhile back at the dorm an emergency meeting was being held. The girls in attendance were Naru, Motoko, and Mitsune. Reason? To remove the pervert from manager of the dorm, one way or another.

January 5. 2000

It's been four days since I have become manager of the Girls' dorm, and during that time I've been able to learn more about each of them.

Motoko Ayoma- Heiress to some sword school in Kyoto, she seems to think it is her goal in life to beat up every single male. I tried to talk to her and make peace but all I got was a bird's eye view of the city. Note: Do not under any circumstances call her a kendo chick. I did so once and nearly lost Keitaro Jr.

Su Kaolla- This is the resident genius/mad scientist responsible for siccing that giant turtle machine thingy on me. When I talked to her about it in her room/rainforest she said it wasn't to get the perverted intruder but for fun. Then I went flying when Naru found me in Su's room with her. I swear if I find out any of these people have twins I will kill myself and save them the trouble. Note: Has a one tracked mind whenever she isn't inventing. Whenever she tries to play just give her a crate of bananas and she'll leave me alone for a hour or so.

Shinbou Mahera- Young, talented chef who appears to have a male hating complex just like Motoko. Whenever I speak to her she reddens in anger and flees from the room. Even so she is quite sweet and tries to stop Motoko and Naru from sending me to the skies whenever I do something 'perverted'. Note: Don't bring up her past or anything relating to parents. All this does is break a young girl's heart who has done nothing wrong. Also if she cries then I'm the guilty party regardless if it was my fault or not.

Mitsune 'Kitsune' Konna- A sake guzzling down on her luck gambler whose hunger for aforementioned is matched only by her cunningness. Seems like she gets her kicks from placing me in unfavorable positions and "borrowing" yen/free rent from me. Note: Just give her the cash to avoid future problems.

Naru Narusegawa: Beautiful. Simply Beautiful. If I were to use an old corny line to describe her then it shall be, Best call heaven cause an angel has landed. Whenever I see her time seems to slow, my heart beats faster as she fills my eyes, (okay more often than not its her fist). If I were told I would die in seven days then I would willingly spend them just watching her. Though her right hook is extremely painful and she puts on a tough outer mask, I can tell that inside is a girl who wants no needs affection. Note: The loose floor board on the ceiling in my room isn't a storage area. It leads to Naru's room. Also avoid pointing out how the first four letters of her last name are the same as her first name.

Life is beyond great. Sure I need to make it into Tokyo U and meet my promised girl but for now I'm content.

February 13, 2000

I can't continue on like this. Every morning I get a good morning kick from Su and the one time I dodged it she crashed into the wall. Motoko and Naru tagged teamed and probably broke all records for "causing bodily harm to the tenants". I just simply can't continue my head is pounding as if Naru and Motoko were miniaturized and were in my head, not trying to get out but to make my already miserable life even worse! The only thing that actually lets me move is the pain killers and even those don't help. An interesting fact that I learned today occurred when I was repairing the broken ceiling and I gripped a nail wrong and got cut. Well instead of healing immediately, the wound just continued as if I were normal and not a poser of freakishly fast healing. With this knowledge I have taken to cutting myself. The initial pain gives way, not to pleasure, but to control. Control of my life, my actions is something that makes this life that much more bearable. And since self-inflecting wounds don't heal I just wear bandages around my arms, legs and chest. If one of these cuts went to deep and I would die, I wouldn't be sad, I would rejoice.

Somewhere in the Rockies USA

Shaking with rage Hina looked down at the fax she just received. She just couldn't believe what she had read but the evidence spoke for itself. And she had no one to blame but herself for sending him there. Fuming she turned back and started typing the first of many e-mails.

February 15, 2000

I lost my student id for cram school somewhere around this inn, but quite honestly I don't care what happens. If they find out then hopefully they'll kill me. Then my miserable life will end.

Some say life is short

I'm anxious for the reaper

So ends hellish life

Written by: Keitaro Urashima

February 18, 2000

Maybe it was one too many pain killers, or maybe it was from all the head bashings I've been receiving, but I had an epiphany while flying through the air. What would taking my life really accomplish? How would it affect the other residents, or my family? Well Su would be hysterical at the loss of her playmate. Shinbou will probably go have a crying fit, poor her I can't do that to her. Kanako will most likely inflect bodily harm to all the girls in the name of vengeance. And the rest of the Urashima will grieve. Everyone will be heartbroken expect for Motoko, Naru, and Mitsune. All those will cry about is there personal training dummy/stress ball/wallet is gone and the next manager won't be as easygoing as I am. Hmm maybe I should think Naru and Motoko for all of the oh so wonderful "punishments", for saving my life. Then again it is because of them that I've been driven to said point. I'll bring it up later. Yet I still continue to cut myself, not because I want to die, but because it gives me control. Also I need to acquire more painkillers and sleeping pills. Maybe if I wasn't such an worthless, spineless coward I might be able to stand up for myself.

February 19, 2000

I need to do something, anything, and find a way to make peace with the residents or stop these beatings. The problem is I have no idea how I'm going to do so. Arugh! I'm just so confused right now. I think I'll just go to bed and think about this tomorrow.

Unbeknownst to Keitaro he wasn't going to be able to think about tomorrow. For, in the old annex building a single candle was lit casting an eerie glow. The light wasn't enough to illuminated faces but that didn't matter they all knew each other. Finally, after nearly two months of hard work, their plan was complete. The legal documents were all signed and pictures filed. All that was needed was morning.

A/N YES! Two chapters in less than three days! Well I promised a longer chapter so here it is. Next chapter won't come out as quickly so stay tuned. Reviews are greatly appreciated . If you have any questions send me a PM and I'll do my best in answering it.