As always, and sadly enough, I do not own Twilight or its characters. But it's nice to know that there are so many others out there that wish they did, too!

Special thanks to my friend Roisin Dubh, whose suggestions have helped me greatly. If anyone is looking for some really great Harry Potter fanfic, check out her work!

Chapter 4

I wasn't scheduled to work over the next few days, which was good, because I walked around in a fog most of the time. I didn't feel ready to talk to Edward so soon after Christmas Eve, even though I felt fairly certain that he had already forgotten about it. Alice was thrilled when she heard my story about Edward's kiss, and made me recall every detail several times over.

"Alice," I said, "I don't think you should be getting this excited over it, really. It wasn't anything major." My words faltered at the end, though, because it was actually the most major thing that had ever happened to me in my life, and Alice knew me well enough to know that.

"Bella," she whined, "you can't ignore that kissing you on Christmas Eve might just mean that Edward likes you more than just as a friend. If Jasper kissed me under the mistletoe, I'd be planning our wedding already."

I laughed, not because Alice was trying to be funny, but because I believed that she would take it that seriously. I wasn't going to let myself read more into Edward's kiss than it was, though. Just a friendly holiday peck under mistletoe in the interest of tradition, and that was all. At least that's all it was to Edward, regardless of how I felt. After a few days of feeling sorry for myself, I decided that my original conclusions were right on target I mean, I never should have allowed myself to even dream that Edward and I had any romantic potential, so any wounds that I received from my delusions were my own fault, not his. I knew that I could call Edward my friend, and that he regarded me the same way. That would have to be enough, though, and I was determined that it would be for me. The one thing that hadn't occurred to me was - did he know how I really felt about him? It was embarrassing to think that he might be aware how intense my feelings had become. If he was aware, he never let on or took it as an opportunity to make me feel awkward around him. I decided he must not have had a clue, and I could console myself with the knowledge that I had managed to hide my true feelings.

When the Monday after New Year's arrived, the school was buzzing with news of who got what for Christmas, or who broke up with whom during vacation. I was eager to end the school day and get to the station, since I missed my afternoon chat sessions with my new friend. Being with Edward made it hard not to enjoy going to work. So, shortly after arriving there I finished what was left on my desk, made sure a fresh pot of coffee was brewing, and I walked to the garage and went inside. Edward heard the door and looked up, smiling.

"Hi, Bella. How was New Year's?" he asked while waxing one of the cruisers.

"Pretty good, thanks. Alice stayed at my house, and we watched some movies, so nothing too exciting. How was your night?" I was extremely curious about this, since I spent the first hour of the year imagining that I had been on the receiving end of a New Year's kiss from him.

"Oh, I was at a party, actually," he said, a little sheepishly. Was he avoiding my eyes when he said this?

"Oh, that's nice," I responded, not really knowing what else to say.

"So, no big date or anything, huh?" he asked me, finally looking up. Was he kidding?

"No. I don't really, um… I mean, there's nobody… I really don't have time to date with school and work and stuff."

My eyes were suddenly transfixed on my sneakers. I couldn't look at him for a few moments. If I did, I might be tempted to tell him exactly who I wanted to date and how badly. When I looked up, Edward had a strange expression on his face, as if he were figuring out a difficult math problem. When he looked away, he seemed… troubled?

"Bella, you know I have a girlfriend in Port Angeles, right?" he asked hesitantly.

The truth was that I had heard rumors of that, but never had actual confirmation. I mean, why would I ask him something like that? Of course he would have a girlfriend. He probably had to beat them off with a stick. But honestly, when I heard him say the words aloud, I was crushed. I was also mortified because it seemed that I hadn't been as elusive as I thought about my feelings. I could almost feel the pity rolling off of Edward as he stood there trying to read my mind.

"Um...yes, I did hear that. What's her name again?" Not that I had ever heard it, but I was scrambling to sound informed and reasonable. I suppose the honest answer would have been 'No, Edward, I really didn't know that. Since you mentioned it, though, I'll stop ogling you immediately.' Yes, that would have been poignant.

"Her name is Tanya Morgan. She and I have been dating for about two years now."

He watched my reactions carefully as he said all of this, so I was also being careful not to seem thrown by this new revelation.

"Oh, that's great. Is she a senior in Port Angeles?" I asked, feigning interest for the most part. I supposed this was his gentle way of letting me know that he was unavailable and uninterested, but all I could hear was the tearing sound my heart was making.

"Yes. She's actually just been accepted to Everest College for the fall semester," he replied.

"And I heard you're going to Stanford, right?" Part of me couldn't help but wonder for a moment what would happen if they went to separate colleges.

"Yes. Tanya actually picked Everest because it's close to Stanford. Since my scholarship only covers academics and books, we'll be sharing an apartment with some other students just outside of Palo Alto." Again, he wasn't meeting my gaze, and I wondered if he somehow knew the effect of what he was saying. Then a thought occurred to me. Did Tanya know that I spent time here with Edward, and was she upset about it? I wasn't about to ask that question, but part of me registered that I would be upset if Edward were mine. We somehow managed to get away from the subject of his love life, and my lack thereof, and start talking about the upcoming concert. It was in less than three weeks, and it was definitely something I could look forward to. Edward seemed excited about it, too. It was nice to know we had similar taste in music and felt so comfortable talking about it.

I left that night with the strangest feeling. I can only liken it to a guilty criminal who just heard that the prosecution has found the murder weapon. At that point I was forced to acknowledge three things. First, Edward was in a serious, committed relationship. Second, he was leaving for college in about seven months. And third, I was completely and irrevocably in love with him.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day Alice and I were sitting on our rock, and she knew something was really bothering me. She had been talking excitedly about a jacket she wanted for her birthday, but I really didn't hear much of what she said. When I didn't respond to a direct question, she called me on it.

"Bella, what's up with you today? You're really distracted," she commented.

"Al, did you know that Edward had a girlfriend back in Port Angeles?" I asked.

"Well, yes and no," she said, sounding very guilty. "I heard Emmett ask him one time about this girl, Tanya, and it sounded like it might be someone he was dating, but I wasn't sure. I would have told you if I was, but I figured there was no reason to upset you if he really wasn't dating anyone, and I thought maybe Tanya was his cousin or something."

"Well, she is definitely not his cousin," I said. "They've been dating for a couple of years, and apparently they chose colleges near each other so they could be together."

"Oh, Bella, I'm sorry," Alice said, putting her arm around me. "How did you find out about her?" she asked.

"Well, that's the worst part, actually. I think he might have picked up on my feelings for him, and he just came right out and told me at work yesterday. Things were cool between us after that, but I still felt like an idiot," I said.

"He just blurted it out, and you hadn't asked him anything about her?" she asked, scowling and raising an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah. Why are you looking at me that way?"

"Well, it's just interesting, that's all. Nothing, really," she said.

"C'mon, Alice, no more withholding information. If you know something, or even think you know something, let's hear it," I instructed her.

"I don't want you to read more into this than you should, Bella. I just think it's strange that he made it a point to tell you that, and yet he asks about you every time he's at my house with Emmett. I swear Emmett knows something, but I'm not sure what. And you know they all stick together when it comes to their 'men's code of silence.'"

I was curious as to his reasons for asking about me that often, but I knew Edward was a nice person, and I supposed it had to be hard for him, knowing how I felt about him and seeing me so often, but not feeling the same about me. Plus, I was his boss' daughter on top of everything. I knew I had to reign in my emotional monsters and do everything possible to preserve our friendship and not make him feel uncomfortable around me. I knew in my head that I could do that. Convincing my heart would be more of a challenge.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next couple of weeks went by quickly, and Edward and I seemed to fall into a nice familiar pattern of conversations that steered clear of Tanya and college. The small group of friends that I hung out with at school, besides Alice, was none the wiser to my love interest, and that was fine, too. Everything seemed under control, except for my favorite pixie. Alice was determined that we were both going to have boyfriends by the time the spring cotillion came up. I wasn't thrilled with the idea, since my feelings for Edward weren't exactly tamed, but I also knew that I needed to socialize more. Alice had ulterior motives, as she was hoping to make Jasper jealous. The weekend before the concert, Alice and I were at the gym taking an aerobics class, when she leaned over to me and whispered excitedly into my ear.

"Bella, don't look now, but we're being watched," she said, and giggled.

"By who?" I whispered back.

"Two guys in the back, near the elliptical machines. The red tank top and the green T-shirt."

I pretended I was stretching, leaning over casually so that I was half-facing the back of the gym, and saw them. Alice was right; they were definitely checking us out. The one in the green shirt caught me looking and quickly averted his eyes.

"Okay, Alice. So they're looking at us…and?"

"Oh, Bella, don't you know anything about boys? They are so plotting their next move."

Maybe I didn't know that much, but I was entertained by the way Alice kicked into 'flirt mode' without the slightest bit of effort. We finished the class and Alice wanted to walk on the treadmills for a while. She said under her breath to me that we should leave one treadmill open on either side of us, just in case anyone wanted to join us or start a conversation. I just shook my head, because I knew there was no point in arguing with her. And sure enough, after a few minutes, the guys we had seen earlier had each taken a spot on the available treadmills next to us. The one I had seen in the green shirt had chosen the one next to me, and I wondered to myself how they had decided who would be on which side. Alice smiled at 'red tank top guy,' and before I knew it they were carrying on a conversation.

They were juniors from Haviland, the next town over, and joined this gym when theirs went out of business last month. Alice introduced herself to Ben in the red tank, and then introduced me. Ben said hello to me, then introduced the green shirt as Mike, and I said a polite hello to him. He was cute, with blond hair and blue eyes, but the way he smiled at me made me feel like a piece of meat.

"So," Ben directed to Alice, "do you think you might want to go out to a movie tomorrow night?"

Alice thought for a minute before answering.

"Well, since we only just met, I'd feel better if we could go out with another couple, you know, at least on the first date."

Ben looked over at me, then at Mike. I rolled my eyes, because I knew what was going to come out of Ben's mouth next before the words even formed in his head.

"Hey, Mikey! Are you doing anything tomorrow night?"

"Well, that depends." Mike looked at me then and smiled. "Bella, would you like to join me for a movie tomorrow night? Apparently our presence is requested as chaperones for these two."

"Um, sure, I think I can do that," I said. Why not? I mean, it wasn't like I had a better offer, or even a chance of one.

"Great. We're going to hit the showers and head to work, so we'll plan to pick you up tomorrow at six o'clock," Ben said.

"Perfect," Alice chirped as she handed Ben her address and phone number. "See you then."

"See you tomorrow then, Bella." Mike waved at me, and I smiled and waved back. Maybe tomorrow night would be a good start for me. I needed to start my life at some point, right?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The next day I arrived at Alice's house at five thirty. We were both dressed, hair done, and make up applied perfectly. I had to admit that part of me felt excited about the date, even if it was just a movie. Before meeting Mike and Ben, I was starting to feel like my sophomore year of high school was going to be known as 'that year I didn't do anything.' Ben and Mike arrived at six, as promised, and we left for Port Angeles. It was about a forty five minute drive, but it had the only decent theater around, and there were plenty of places to go if we wanted to get something to eat later. During the drive, we heard all about Mike's parents' sporting goods store, and how both he and Ben worked there part time. They were both really into fishing and hunting, and seemed to be good at both, according to their stories. Ben's father worked as an architect and his mother stayed home to take care of Ben's grandmother, who was sick. Waiting for the movie previews to start, Ben and Mike asked us about our families and what we did in our spare time. Mike actually looked intimidated when I told him my father was the Chief of Police, which I had to admit I liked.

The theater was crowded that night, and finally the movie started. It was a baseball drama with a love story mixed in – something for everyone, Alice had said. When she put her mind to it, she made planning the perfect date an art form. About halfway through the movie I spotted Ben's arm around Alice. Mike apparently saw this as his cue, and draped his arm around the back of my chair. That was fine, I didn't really mind at the moment, since he really wasn't touching me. Of course, my lack of protest only made him brave. He leaned further into me, and I instinctively inched away, closer to Alice. He thought my shift in position was just a way to get more comfortable, though, and then moved in for a light kiss. Okay, I thought, I'll give in for the moment, but the second he pulls away I'm telling him to knock it off. But suddenly his kiss intensified, and I felt his whole body shift so he was almost in my seat with me. His hands fumbled their way around my waist, looking to quickly gain entrance under my sweater, and I knew it was time to take action. I pulled my face back and pushed his hand away, shaking my head and giving him a death glare. Mike seemed nice enough, and I didn't want to bruise his ego too badly, but there was no way he was going to continue this. I could see Alice watching our exchange out of the corner of her eye, and she looked like she wanted to say something.

"C'mon, let's go get some popcorn." Mike grabbed my hand and pulled me up with him. I didn't really want popcorn, but he was intent on my company. Once we were out in the lobby of the theater, he looked up at me, embarrassed.

"Bella, I'm sorry about that. I don't know what I was thinking, really. I didn't mean anything by it, please don't be mad." I was a little impressed with his apology, so I smiled at him and nodded.

"It's okay, Mike. Let's just forget about it and watch the movie, okay?" I suggested.

"Great." He smiled, and we went back inside, where he kept his hands to himself for the rest of the date.

Alice and Ben seemed to get along very well, and Mike was not a bad guy, despite his lack of control. We all decided that we would get together the following weekend for dinner and hanging out at the mall, and that we would see each other at the gym on Tuesday. The guys dropped us off at Alice's house at eleven o'clock, and she and I stayed awake talking until almost one-thirty, when both of us fell asleep, exhausted.

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