Contrary to popular belief I did not move to a non-internet zone, get lost in a haystack maze, or decide to become a roadie for KC and the Sunshine Band (yes, they still tour). I am just late. It happens. I do apologize, however, as I do to all of my family members every time me, my husband, and two kids are supposed to be somewhere at two, and we arrive at four.

As for the chapter, I hope you enjoy. Reality is hard to write sometimes, and this was a doozie. Reviews will make my muse work wonders on my timing - I promise!

Oh yeah - before I forget, Stephenie Meyer owns it all. Except my Edward barbie. She can buy her own.

Chapter 10 – Lots to Say

Tanya POV

Finally, graduation came and went. It felt like time was playing a cruel joke on me, stretching itself out and making me feel as though the day would never arrive. But once it did I knew that high school and its dreary social politics, academic requirements, and restrictions were behind me. At last I could move on to a life I was ready for – some college (to appease my parents), marriage, and children. Of course, Edward would complete college and continue on to medical school, but I had already looked into housing for married students at Stanford, and the option was there for those in their second year and beyond. We would only use that as a last resort if we somehow couldn't manage our apartment, but it would be a means to a fairytale ending. It was perfect.

Edward was not a planner, so my role in our relationship was to organize our future and ensure that it took place. I had to be persistent with him, though. Quite often he wasn't even aware of what he wanted until I made him realize it. I loved him enough to be patient, though, and even patronize him a bit when it came to his insecurities. I knew that once in a while he doubted our relationship; I could tell by the exasperated tone of his voice, or a certain look he would give me when he felt that I was being overbearing. Nevertheless, I had enough faith in our love for both of us, and that would be the strength of our union.

Edward was fortunate that I was not the jealous type. I knew about the girl at his school that had a crush on him, and it did catch me by surprise when I found out he worked with her also. But after realizing that she wasn't even old enough to drive yet, I knew there was nothing to be concerned over and I put her out of my thoughts.

Renee POV

I'm worried about Bella.

Not that she can't handle herself, but I fear that she won't know enough to keep her head when it comes to matters of the heart. I suspected that her feelings for Edward were more than friendship at Christmas, when I noticed from the other room how he took care of her when she cut herself, and how she reacted to him. It made me curious, and I continued to watch them. They were inseparable for the rest of the night. Bella assumes that I am not observant, especially when I'm hosting a party. But little does she know that I noticed Edward's coyness after Charlie's sister, Claire, practically threw them together under the mistletoe. Claire has always been an instigator – but I would deal with her later.

Then Charlie mentioned how much time Bella was spending in the police station garage with Edward – I had an awful feeling that this would not end well. The problem was, what was I going to do? Bella had such a strong will, and if I said or did anything to try to keep her away from him, it would only strengthen her resolve. If I went along with it, she could get hurt – or worse, something could happen between them that could make things worse. This was one of those decisions that came under the category "for their own good." Unfortunately, that was a broad term, and nobody had specifically defined the parameters. What the hell was the right thing to do?

Bella obviously had strong feelings for him – that much was obvious. I had almost resigned myself to letting nature take its course, until the graduation party.

She had been avoiding him all night. He was there with his girlfriend, which had to be painful for Bella if my intuition was correct. She talked to Alice a lot, and mingled with other guests, but I could see her eyes frequently turning towards him; him and his girlfriend. Why did he have to bring her? Didn't he know how Bella felt about him? After a while, Bella walked over to the beverage table, and I noticed that she poured rum into her coke, which surprised me; Bella didn't drink, I was fairly certain of that. I checked on her to make sure she was okay, and she said she was. When I saw Alice talking to her, then I knew everything was at least under control. She was staying with Alice for the night, so there was no trouble that she could get into, and I thanked my stars at the moment that she had Alice for a friend.

As a parent, I had no idea how to handle this. As a woman, I could understand how fierce, yet fragile, first love was. My own first love had been fierce enough to make me elope at the tender age of nineteen. I had no regrets about it; I loved Charlie and our life together more and more every day. But my hopes for Bella involved college, a career, and choices that I didn't take advantage of. Perhaps it was selfish of me to want to live vicariously through her, but that was a mother's prerogative.

Alice POV

Poor Bella. My own happiness consumed me at the graduation party when Jasper asked me out. It kills me to think that Bella's misery is going to continue while Edward goes off to college. And the fact that Bella knows that he'll be living with Tanya makes it even worse for her.

He's not fooling anyone, really. I've seen the way he looks at Bella. His eyes are practically smoldering when she wears something even slightly seductive – although on Bella, a tank top looks fabulous enough to be seductive. That girl just needs a little more fashion sense. If I could talk her into a weekend in New York to go shopping for some really great clothes…. Wait, I'm getting off track here.

He came to rescue her from that creep Mike, for crying out loud. I thought that was going to be a catalyst, for sure. How in the world is he going to leave her to go to college and never know what might have been? And how am I going to pick up the pieces of my best friend's broken heart when he does?

Charlie POV

Looks like Bella and Edward get along pretty good. Renee mentioned something about a crush, I think. I don't know. I try not to get involved with that kind of thing.

Part of me wishes that I could avoid all of the turmoil going on right now. Just close my eyes and pretend it's not happening, and let a professional do all the worrying for me, hand out the perfect advice, and fix the problems. That's what they get paid for, isn't it?

It's hard enough watching these young people make mistakes, but they always seem to think that they know what's best, don't they? Sure – don't listen to the people who have been through this before and know what to do. Oh no – that would make too much sense. No matter how many times they either get hurt or take the loss that you don't want to see happen, they just don't get it sometimes. I just wish whoever was making the decisions would just fire that ridiculous coach and move on to someone that can keep these guys in line. Damn Mariners…

Bella POV

Suddenly, it was August.

The summer flew by faster than I would have liked, and I found myself awake one morning only to discover that it was the twenty-first, Edward's last day at the station. I had been visiting him faithfully every time he worked over the past two months. It made my feelings for him even more obvious, but since he knew how I felt about him, why hide it and deny myself these last few weeks of his company?

Alice and Jasper were getting along well. Jasper had proven himself to be a true romantic; he had even sent Alice flowers on the twenty-fourth of July to mark the one month anniversary of their first date. Emmett thought it was hilarious that his friend was so "whipped" as he put it, and had let it slip to me that Jasper was doing to the same thing for her this month. Emmett had accepted their relationship after a few weeks of griping about his "virginal little sister" and a couple of awkward moments when he found the two of them in a passionate embrace on the Hale's living room couch. He now took the stance that at least he knew that Alice was safe, and he could always find Jasper if he needed to knock some sense into him.

Charlie and Renee had been watching me like a science experiment ever since the graduation party. It made me wonder how observant they actually were, and if maybe I had underestimated their perceptiveness.

I arrived at five-thirty, an hour and a half before Edward's normal quitting time of seven o'clock. Originally I planned to arrive at five, but found myself rehearsing what I wanted to say to him. I had to tell Edward exactly how I felt. Even if he already knew, I needed to say goodbye to him knowing that I had let myself be honest with him, especially since it would be the last time we had a chance to talk alone. I didn't see his car in the lot and briefly felt panicked, wondering if he had called in sick or something. Part of me knew that wasn't his style, though, and that he wouldn't do that to me on his last day. We were good enough friends that he would never leave without saying goodbye. I hoped.

I opened the door to the garage slowly, the butterflies in my stomach working their way up to a frenzy. They calmed a bit, though, when he looked up at me from the hood of the ambulance and smiled warmly, as if we both knew what this night meant.

"Hi," he said cheerfully as I walked over to my stool and sat down.

"Hi," I replied. There was an awkward pause, and I suddenly felt the need to fill the gap with small talk, not ready to bear my soul just yet.

"I didn't see your car outside. Is something wrong with it?" I asked.

"Oh, no, it's fine. Tanya has it, actually. She is picking me up after work because we have to be somewhere later," he explained.

"Oh," was all I could say. Tanya was not a topic of conversation I wanted to cover tonight. I sat watching him for a while, and he would look up occasionally and smile at me. If neither of us could think of anything intelligent to discuss, then I was happy to sit and enjoy the time in silence.

"So, junior year starts in a few weeks for you, huh?" he said, obviously wanting to steer the topic of conversation away from his girlfriend.

"Uh-huh. I'm hoping to start some AP courses. I just have to talk to the school counselor first."

"That shouldn't be a problem. Mrs. Cope is really nice, and she helped me get into a good program for senior year to get the credits I needed," he said.

"Thanks, that's good to know," I said. I took a few deep breaths after that, working up the nerve to say what I desperately needed to get off of my chest. This would be my last opportunity, and I wasn't going to miss it.

"Edward, I feel like I need to tell you something," I began, feeling the blush creeping up to my forehead already. He looked up at me and raised his eyebrows, encouraging me to continue. "If I don't say it, I know I'll regret it. If I do say it, then I may regret that, too, but at least I won't wonder what it would have felt like if I had."

"Bella, you don't have to say anything," he said with a serious expression.

"It's okay, Edward. I know you and Tanya have a future planned. This is just something selfish I'm doing for my own sake."

"No, Bella, that's not what I meant." I looked at him strangely. What was he talking about?

"I don't understand," I said. He came over to me then, crouching down so that we were eye-level with each other, and took one of my hands in his.

"I think I know what you want to tell me, but I don't want you to say it because you don't think you'll have another chance. The truth is, I know what you want to say, because I feel the same way. I love you too, Bella."

I was stunned into silence and could only stare at him. How could he have known? Was he serious? What did this mean? How could he say this when he was leaving for college next week? And what about Tanya? So many questions ran through my mind in a matter of a few seconds that my head felt dizzy. I managed to pull it together, and found my voice.

"What…why…?" I managed to choke out. OK, maybe my voice was found, but not my intelligence.

"I've been ignoring my feelings for you ever since that night at the restaurant when I followed you. I knew that it didn't make sense for us to have any kind of a relationship right now beyond friendship. You have no idea how difficult it's been for me over the past few months, especially recently watching Alice and Jasper together and seeing how happy they are."

"But, why didn't you tell me? And what about Tanya?" I asked when my brain and my mouth had become re-acquainted.

"If I had told you, then I don't know if I could have kept things the same between us. Do you think that would have been possible?" he asked, seeming genuinely curious. I thought for a second before shaking my head no, realizing what that would have been like.

"And as for Tanya, well…things are complicated with her. Part of me wonders if the feelings I have for her are just those that develop from being with someone for a long time. I don't feel the same way for her that I used to, but I do love her. You must think I'm an ass for telling you that I love her and I love you," he said, looking ashamed.

I stared at my feet for a moment, trying to process everything he was telling me. I was not prepared for the conversation to take this direction. If he was looking to take advantage of a girl who'd fallen in love with him, he certainly had the opportunity. But he didn't. And if he was looking to make a clean break from that same girl, leaving her behind without any strings, he could have just said nothing except goodbye. But he didn't. No, I didn't think he was an ass, but he continued speaking before I could tell him so.

"I know that I need to sort things out, and I certainly don't want you to be in the crossfire of that. It will be good for me to experience college; allow me to grow into the person I want to be. And hopefully, once I've done that, I might be lucky enough that you still feel something for me. If it's only friendship, then I'll be happy with that.

"Please, tell me what you're thinking," he asked quietly.

"Um, wow. Well, first, you were right. I was determined tonight to finally tell you that I love you," I started. When I looked up I saw him smiling at me and it was at that moment that I knew his feelings for me were genuine as well.

"Also, I know you have to leave, but I'm not sure what you are asking me to do. Are you saying you want me to wait for you?" The questions sounded so old fashioned, but there was really no other way to phrase it. He thought for a moment before answering, and his face became pained, as though the words I had spoken literally hurt him, and he couldn't look me in the eyes when he answered.

"Bella, I would never ask you to do that," he said, then paused before adding, "I know that you need to continue to live your life, just as I need to live mine. But I am only being honest when I say that I would be thrilled if circumstances allowed us to see where things might go at the right time for both of us." He then looked up at me and I nodded my head, indicating that I also would be happy about that. I looked down at our fingers, which were now intertwined, and suddenly Edward pulled away, stood up, and went over to the massive tool chest on the other side of the garage. When he returned, he was blushing even more fiercely than I usually did.

"I'm in no position to make promises to you, other than to promise that you'll be in my thoughts more often than is probably reasonable," he said, smirking, "But I was wondering if I could ask for a promise from you?" I looked at him with surprise at this request, but my curiosity was piqued.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Well, two things, really. First, promise me that you will be careful, and that you will call me on my cell if you find yourself in any dangerous situations," he said. He waited expectantly for my answer.

"Okay. I think I can do that," I answered.

"And then, this," he said, holding out his hand. In his palm was a beautiful pendant. A small flower, the petals made of a red stone and a crystal for the center. It was small, but shone beautifully in the reflection of the lighting. Had he bought this for me? I usually hated unexpected gifts, but this gesture meant more to me than I could ever explain.

"I saw this," he explained, "and thought of you. The center is pure and brilliant, just like you. And the petals reminded me of the way you blush, which is something I find incredibly endearing. Please don't feel obligated to wear it, but if you just keep it and think of me when you look at it, then I would know a piece of me was with you, always."

The tears began as I stood so that he could clasp the thin chain around my neck. I realized at that moment that this was our goodbye, and pain coursed through my entire being. "Thank you," was all I could manage to choke out as he stepped back. He brought his hand up to cup my face then, and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. I looked deep into his mesmerizing green eyes and forgot for a moment where we were, what day it was, and my name. All that existed was the two of us in that moment and I knew he felt it, too.

My heart began to speed up as I realized that Edward's face was slowly moving closer to mine. My mind raced, knowing that I had dreamt of this moment for so long and here it was. The distance between us became non-existent as I took in the intoxicating scent that was him, and my arms instinctively came up to rest on his waist. He paused just as we were about to make contact, as if looking for a sign of permission. I let my eyelids fall and tilted my head slightly towards his so there would be no doubt in his mind that this was what I wanted as well.

If I lived for an eternity, no other kiss would ever be able to compare to that one blissful moment of kissing Edward on his last day of work. The softness of his lips gently brushing against mine, the way his hand contoured my face, as if he were handling a priceless object that might break if he weren't there to protect it. I had read my share of romance novels in between Stephen King and Dean Koontz thrillers, but none of the heroes of those stories could have possibly expressed the passion, the caring, or the love that Edward conveyed with a kiss that lasted no more than a few moments that day.

I came to the station that night hoping to find the relief of finally telling Edward how I felt. I came away, instead, with more than I had hoped for. And although I had no idea when I would see him again, I knew that part of my heart would always be his.

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