Aftermath

Days passed.

At first Erik tried to locate Amelia so that they could straighten this whole thing out. For two days, he went to the dining hall at every meal, hoping to see her there. She was always absent. Discouraged, he ceased his trips to the cafeteria completely. If he was hungry – which he rarely was – Erik would go out.

He ended up going to L'Automne Café quite often. That was his place to think. He always went at odd times, praying for the café to be vacant. Once or twice he was lucky, but other times he had to find a table in a corner to evade the stares. Eventually Erik noticed that the same people were there when he was. He realized that they went to the restaurant just so they could stare at him.

Now, Erik avoided all things social. He stayed in the bowels of the Opera House alone. An odd sense of depression was overwhelming him. He'd never felt like this before. He spent his waking hours drawing, composing, and listening. He drew Amelia, the things of the beautiful days; the days when Amelia was his. He composed lullabies, operettas, solos… just whatever came to his mind. Erik wrote what emotions he felt. He listened to everything he could possibly hear: the dripping of water in the caves, the creaks of the Opera House above him. Sometimes he thought he heard music from the theatres.

While he felt like he was decaying in some ways, in others he felt he was flourishing. Erik created more passageways and trapdoors. These projects made it easier to get where he wanted to go. They were also just ways to keep his mind off of certain things.

Erik noticed a change within the passing days. Not only was he getting thinner from not eating, he was also gaining muscle. He'd had a growth spurt a while ago, finally growing into his long limbs. And now, all the work of running up and down stairs, using the gondola, and building passageways… was paying off. He became aware of this change when he was bathing one evening.

His arm was bent, hand behind his head. Erik glanced over at his arm and noticed a lean muscle bulging slightly underneath his skin. He stretched his arms out in front of him. Sure enough, there was a symmetrical muscle on the other arm. Two more protruded from each of his forearms. He looked down at his chest and stomach and saw lightly defined muscles there as well.

Erik sighed at that memory. It seemed to be the only good that had come from this whole ordeal. Correction: it was the only good. Now it was about noon. His empty stomach snarled with the pains of hunger. He bit his lip when he realized that he hadn't eaten in two days. Erik no longer had his meager stash of food that he kept down there. Perhaps just this once he could return to the surface for some nourishment.

As this internal debate ensued, Erik failed to notice the extra presence in his grotto. The sound of footsteps broke his reverie. He stood up and faced the direction of the sound. Suddenly, he wished that he had something to protect himself with…

"Erik?" a female voice echoed slightly.

He let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding. "Caitlin?"

More footsteps and then he saw her. She was drenched. For the first time in a week, Erik had to hold back laughter. Caitlin's eyes narrowed and he removed his smile.

"You ought to have two boats," she sniffed.

He sighed and sat back down. Seeing her made connections to Amelia and he felt his heart twisting uncomfortably. Erik looked down at his hands; the horrific depression was making itself at home. Caitlin immediately felt the change in his demeanor and decided to get to the point.

She stood in front of him. "Tell me that you didn't kiss Giselle."

He didn't respond. Abruptly, her hand collided with his left cheek. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Did she just slap me?

"Why would you kiss Giselle Leandros?"

"I didn't mean to," he mumbled.

Caitlin exhaled impatiently. "How did you not mean to?"

"I thought she was Amelia."

"Do you want to play this game with me, Erik?" No response. "Alright. How on earth could you think she was Amelia?"

She watched his eyes become glassy and his breathing accelerate. His lips pursed, trying to fight back the sob that was about to escape.

"Just tell me what happened," Caitlin said softly. She sat down next to him and touched his arm. Erik took a few moments to gather himself. Then he explained everything. How he and Amelia had kissed. How Giselle had slipped in when he was alone. How she closed his eyes and kissed him. How he heard the cry outside the door…

"What have I done?" he whispered once he finished. Caitlin remained silent; sure it was a rhetorical question. But even if it wasn't, she still wouldn't know how to respond. Then Erik's stomach growled and the sound actually echoed.

"When was the last time you ate?" she asked.

After a few moments of hesitation, he mumbled, "Two days."

Caitlin sighed and rubbed her temples. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"In all honesty, I believe death is better than this."

Amelia sat on the floor, leaning against the wall. She was in the mail room sorting envelopes, and Lucas sat across from her doing the same. She looked up and smiled slightly at the look of concentration on his face.

He had been such a good friend the last week. At first she felt like such a burden, always needing his shoulder to cry on. But after a few days passed, she realized that he really didn't mind just being there. In fact, he loved being with her. Amelia found that she enjoyed being with him as well.

"Here," Lucas said softly. He tossed two envelopes across the floor. Amelia looked at the front of both. They were addressed to Caitlin and Marie. For some strange reason, she felt her stomach tighten in an uncomfortable knot. She hadn't really talked to or seen either of them for the past few days. It was almost like she didn't want to see them because they would find a way to make this whole thing better.

"What are these for?" she asked. Why didn't she want to make it better? She liked being mad at Erik. He did a horrible thing, and Lucas was being an amazing friend and comforting her. She didn't want anyone messing up their relationship. Even though you're completely ruining a deeper one? Amelia felt her jaw clench.

"I think those are their schedules for the next week or so. There's an opera being performed in two weeks, I think."

"Oh," she replied. Her internal struggle slowly winded down as she sorted more envelopes. The last thing she thought was that she should thank Lucas for being such a good friend to her.

After a few more minutes, Lucas finished. "Do you want to go get some lunch?" he asked. It was about noon, and she was famished. He stood and went over to help her up. But before she took his hands, Amelia looked up at him.

"Lucas?"

"Yes?" he lowered his hands.

"Thank you for… being with me this week."

She saw his eyes sparkle slightly. And then he leaned down and kissed her forehead.

"Honestly, Amelia, it is no trouble in the slightest." Then took her hands and helped her off the ground.

Caitlin had been trying to persuade Erik to go to the surface for food for the past ten minutes. And now she was about to give up.

"Just go up to eat and then you can come right back down," she said unconvincingly. Erik went to his piano and ignored her.

"You can't make me eat," he said softly.

"Erik Destler! You have got to be joking! You won't eat because you are so depressed about Amelia, and you won't do anything to make it better!"

He suddenly turned around on the piano bench to face her. His dark eyes burned with rage, despair, and what appeared to be insanity.

"You don't know the first thing about it, Caitlin!"

"Then, please, tell me so I can understand," she replied with a little less intensity.

Erik searched for the words to voice his feelings; there were almost none. So he put it the best he could. "I'm afraid Amelia will be there when I return. Oh, I would love to see her again, but I'm afraid that she will have moved on to him. But I am most afraid that I have hurt her beyond healing."

Caitlin didn't respond and looked away from him. In all honesty she hadn't really seen Amelia since the incident. But perhaps now was the time to fix everything on all sides. To get Erik and Amelia back together. To ensure Lucas didn't get hurt in the process. To make sure Giselle minded her own business. And to restore her and Marie's relationship with Amelia as well. Caitlin felt like she had abandoned her friend right when she really needed her.

Erik sighed and turned back around on the bench, anger fading. Caitlin looked at him. He was hunched over the piano, looking more and more like an insane recluse by the second. He was withering away without Amelia; practically disappearing before her eyes, a phantom.

"Perhaps now is the time to heal," she said. Erik didn't reply for a while, and then his head turned a bit so his non-masked eye could see her.

"How?" was all his raspy voice asked.

He could practically see the wheels turning in Caitlin's head as her mind created a plan. After a few moments she smiled slightly.

"That was quick," Erik said. A small spark of hope had suddenly lifted his heart.

"Please just listen to the whole plan, alright?" her eyes were genuinely begging.

"Of course," he turned around completely to face her again.

Caitlin began pacing a little, wringing her hands as she did so. "Alright. I just know for a fact that Amelia still loves you. It's a gut feeling I have. Maybe she doesn't like you right now, but deep down, she loves you. I'm also sure she's been with Lucas this week. I mean, if not Marie or me, who else, right?"

"Can you please get to the plan?"

"Just listen, I'm walking you through everything." She paused for a moment, thinking, and then continued. "Giselle obviously likes you," she glanced at him, "and doesn't like Amelia. And I'm fairly sure Amelia doesn't like Giselle either."

There was a long silence in which Erik began to interject. Caitlin held up her hand to quiet him. She was still thinking this whole thing through.

"I have four players," she murmured, more to herself than to Erik. "Each is with the wrong person."

"You've got that right," Erik quietly enough so Caitlin couldn't hear.

As they walked to the dining hall, a comfortable silence fell over them. Amelia looked up at the vast ceiling as always.

Lucas watched her out of the corner of his eye. He began at her collarbone; it protruded just perfectly at the base of her neck. The creamy skin of her throat accented other features like her hair and eyes. Her soft jaw line and chin led to her perfect profile. Her eyes swam in a blue ocean beneath long lashes. It took him a moment to realize that those beautiful pools were staring at him.

"What?" Amelia asked, a light blush on her cheeks.

Lucas looked quickly forward murmuring, "Nothing."

He saw her smile. Then he dared to be bold enough to take her hand. She didn't immediately lace her fingers with his, but she did not reject him. And that was all he could have asked for.

They continued walking down several corridors before reaching the dining hall. Once they sat down at a table, Amelia released his hand. Lucas assumed she stopped so she could eat properly. But what was going on in Amelia's mind was a completely different matter. The entire time she held Lucas's hand, it felt strange. She felt like she was betraying him, which was strange because he had betrayed her first. Amelia had pushed the thought from her mind when it led to where it did. But she kept thinking how her hand didn't fit just perfectly into his. Her fingers refused to move, afraid they would look for calluses that didn't exist. So she let go of his hand when they sat down.

While eating, Amelia caught herself looking around multiple times. Why was she searching for him? It wasn't like he would just decide to show up for lunch the same day she did. A strange ache in her heart told her that it wished he would.

Caitlin sighed softly. "Don't hate me."

"It's impossible. I've tried."

She smirked a little, but then the pained expression returned.

"Could it be that bad?" Erik asked.

"No, I'm just afraid of what you'll say."

Silence. Erik realized then and there that he didn't care how bad the plan was, he just wanted to know. "Spit it out."

She took a breath in preparation. "The only thing I can think of is jealousy. Honestly, it's one of the most powerful emotions; it can make you do some crazy things."

"I'm already jealous of the mail boy, if that's what you're getting at."

He could tell that the words had hurt Caitlin, which was odd. One would think it would be the other way around. But she truly wanted to help him.

"Sorry."

"What I'm trying to say is… make Amelia jealous."

"I'm going to ask a foolish question and say 'how?'"

"Be with Giselle."

Erik knew it was coming, but hearing it was almost like a physical blow. "Excuse me?"

"Be with Giselle. I know it sounds crazy and completely immoral, but listen: I know how Amelia will react. She's already over the sad stage between you two. I think she won't let herself have anymore pain. I think that if you go public with Giselle, she'll be angry. Deep down, she knows that you don't love Giselle. But seeing you with her will make her jealous, want to get even."

More silence. Erik lifted his head to look at Caitlin. Her eyes gazed at him expectantly.

"How will this fix everything? Won't it just make everything worse?"

"Perhaps at first, but knowing you and Amelia, I'd say she'd be so angry with you that she'd fall in love again." She paused. "Do you know what I'm saying?"

"Not really."

"It's almost a female thing. When she knows that you don't love the one you're with and she isn't in love with who she's with, she has no choice but to love you. Because that's what she really wants. We're just exposing her desire so she can see it more clearly. True, making her angry will drive her closer to Lucas, but then she'll see that he's not you. She'll want what Giselle has, because she had it first. And that is you."

"Honestly, that didn't help at all."

"Okay, in simpler terms… You know she is with Lucas."

"Yes."

"Doesn't that make you want to be with her more?"

"…Yes. Alright, that makes more sense. Why couldn't you have said that to begin with?"

They didn't speak much throughout the meal. It wasn't as comfortable as the walk to the dining hall had been. But, it wasn't uncomfortable either. They just exchanged some thoughts every now and then, becoming silent after a few words. But one question Lucas asked her caught her attention.
"So do you think you'll be joining the orchestra any time soon?" It was a simple question, most likely formed to make conversation. But the thoughts it induced made Amelia really wonder what the answer to it was.

"I have no idea. I would still love to, but I guess might need a new teacher…"

Lucas looked up at her, surprised. He had completely forgotten that her teacher was related to the orchestra. To him, Erik had been an object in the way of Amelia's affection.

"Oh. Yes, I didn't think about that…" The silence continued and differing thoughts of Amelia's teacher flooded two minds.

Make that three minds.

Amelia felt her jaw slowly fall into a gaping position. She absolutely could not believe her eyes. Her heart silenced its regular beating, she stopped blinking, her fingers twitched into contorted balls. She felt Lucas stiffen at her side. The sight… was honestly breathtaking. No, breath-stealing. To Amelia, the sight felt like a kick in the stomach.

Erik Destler and Giselle Leandros walked into the dining hall together, his arm around her waist. Giselle looked completely smug and beautiful, as always. And Erik looked… well, he didn't look like anything. He was expressionless. His dark eyes revealed no feelings of what was going on. They just stared straight ahead.

But at the same time, he looked good. Although he looked thinner, she could tell that he had gained muscle in the last week or so. His expression wasn't necessarily angry, but it was getting there. Amelia found she thought he looked cute with that expression. She stared at him for a moment longer. Then her eyes snapped shut. Cute? Amelia pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. How could she have suddenly gotten over this already? Why would she have forgiven him right there, had Giselle been absent?

Giselle. Amelia opened her eyes again to look at the couple. She was sure now that she wouldn't forgive him any time soon. How could he do this to her? Surprisingly, Amelia felt no pain or sadness. She was angry. She didn't care about Erik and Giselle's relationship, because she could tell it was spurious. Erik wouldn't have had that expression if he was in love with Giselle. He had never looked like that around her.

Alright, if that was the game he was going to play, then so be it. Amelia turned to Lucas and gave him a smile.

"I've suddenly lost my appetite," she said simply, eyeing her half-eaten lunch.

"Me too," Lucas agreed.

They took each other's hands once they stood from the table. Deciding to take the long way out of the dining hall, they happened to pass the newest couple. Amelia's eyes only left Lucas once to see if Erik was watching. He was.

Lucas noticed that her eyes had looked greener in the dining hall.

Once Caitlin had fully explained her plan and her predictions, Erik set out to find Giselle. He felt horrible and wrong doing it, but he suddenly believed it was the only way. He'd gone to the main desk in the foyer and asked for an employee room list. Much to his surprise, they actually had one. Erik easily found Giselle's room; he was just worried how he was going to do this.

He knocked on the door. Why am I doing this? It opened to reveal Colette; he only recognized her, but he'd never met her before.

"Is Giselle here?" he asked.

Colette stared at him for a moment. He could tell her gape was partially because of his mask and partially because she knew who he was.

"Yes," she said softly and disappeared. Giselle took Colette's place.

Her green eyes looked him over as a small smirk appeared on her lips. "Can I help you?"

Erik took a breath. "Can I talk to you… out here?"

She wetted her lips and then replied, "I suppose."

Giselle closed the door behind her and followed him down the corridor. What am I doing? Erik came to a stop and then turned to face her.

"I really don't know how to put this. But I guess I'll just say it. I… I like you. I want to be with you. I'm not sure how it happened, but it did." He knew his uncertainty would give him away, so he hoped that last line would sell it.

She didn't say anything for a while, just looked at him. Then, "You're unlike any other man I've met, Erik Destler."

He waited, but Giselle said no more. "So, what does that mean?" he asked.

She hesitated. "It means I like you because you're so different from other men. And I'm glad you've finally accepted my invitation."

Then she leaned in to kiss him. Erik suddenly regretted doing this entire thing. He turned his head to the right, avoiding her lips. And she kissed his left cheek.

"Although we have kissed, I feel like spending time with you first," he hoped that was the right thing to say, especially to a woman like Giselle. She looked at him strangely, but nodded anyways.

"Well then, will you take me to lunch?"

"Of course."

They had walked into the dining hall with his arm around her. Erik had braced himself for the worst. He wasn't even sure if Amelia would be there or not. The situation that had played out almost met his standard of 'worst.' The worst-case scenario was that Amelia would be there and look horribly miserable. Amelia was there, but she looked neither depressed nor elated. So he supposed things could have been worse.

As they walked to a table the only thought he had was, I hope Caitlin is right. He knew his face had to look very uncomfortable. He felt his jaw clenching, his entire body was stiff. Erik began to wonder if it would even look like he wanted to be with Giselle. But there was no escaping the horrible feeling in the pit of his stomach when he realized that she didn't fit perfectly next to him. Only Amelia could fill that spot.

As that last thought flitted across his mind, they passed her and Lucas. Erik knew he wouldn't be able to handle it if he looked into Amelia's eyes, so he stared straight ahead, holding everything in. Although he looked nowhere near her, he could still see out of the corner of his eye her mouth hanging open, her beautiful oceanic eyes burning holes into him.

Once they sat down, Erik began biting his callused finger. He looked into space thinking of what would happen next. He knew Amelia saw them. But what exactly was her reaction? Was she angry as Caitlin had predicted? Or was she horribly upset and crushed because of him? Or was she so happy that he had moved on so now she could? He closed his eyes and rubbed his temples. This was too much.

A moment later, he felt Giselle stiffen at his side. He opened his eyes to see her glancing over at the end of the table. Erik also looked toward the end of the table to see Amelia and Lucas walking together, hand in hand. His entire body froze, but his eyes followed them as far as he could. Amelia's gaze drifted over at him before the couple was out of his sight. They made eye contact for a mere second before she looked away again. And in that small second, he knew. Erik knew she was angry with him. He knew she didn't love Lucas. And he knew she wanted him back.

"You were right."

Erik had left the dining hall a few minutes later, unable to make regular conversation with Giselle. He had kissed her cheek before he left, hoping to keep up the charade.

Caitlin smiled slightly. "Good." They had met at the stairs leading down to his home.

"What do we do now?"

"I think you shouldn't push it. I'm not sure if she'll try to flaunt Lucas in front of you or just ignore you. We'll decide what to do once she does. Don't initiate anything with Giselle, either. Let her decide when she wants to go out."

"Right." Erik was about to go down the stairs, but his stomach growled furiously. He froze mid-step and looked guiltily up at Caitlin.

"Did you even eat?" she looked frustrated.

"No… I guess I was only in there for a few minutes."

"You're hopeless. We're going to L'Automne Café so I can be sure you eat something."

They decided to walk to the café due to the nice weather; it was early April. They had found a table in a corner, away from the crowd. Caitlin knew Erik was still stared at. And when someone did stare at him, she glared at that person with such intensity he was sure they would burst into flames. They ate in quiet. There was some conversation, but mostly just silence. He liked it this way. He really appreciated Caitlin's friendship.

Less than an hour later, they went back to the Opera House. On the walk back inside, a thought occurred to Erik.

"Have you seen Marie lately?"

"I haven't gotten many chances to talk with her. She's been rehearsing a lot lately for the performance. And I guess I have been, too. Why do you ask?"

"I guess I was wondering if you or she has talked to Amelia at all."

"I hate to say that I'm being a better friend to you than to Amelia right now. I haven't talked to or seen her in a week." Caitlin looked down. They got quiet again.

They walked to the door to Erik's home. The sun was slowly being hidden by a small mass of clouds. The brisk wind made Caitlin shiver.

"See you later?" she asked.

Erik nodded and went inside. He made his way through the dark corridor and found the trapdoor he made. He opened it and jumped down through the opening. He noted that getting a ladder would be a good idea. And then he walked down a maze of corridors to his home below.

A few hours later, Amelia sat on her bed in the dormitory. She stared at the countless sheets of music that were spread out on her bed. She had been thinking about everything for the past several minutes. How she knew Lucas liked her. How she had realized in that split second of looking at Erik how much she missed him. How she missed their music. How he was with Giselle. How Lucas always stared at her. How much she wanted to scream at making decisions.

Amelia bit her lip and gathered up the music. She put the stack into her side table drawer and decided to go to a practice room. Before she left, however, she took one blank piece of sheet music and a pencil. The opera was still bustling with people; it was about dinner time. Amelia found numerous practice rooms, but most were filled. At the end of a hallway, she found an empty one.

Amelia sat down on the piano bench and stared at the keys. Her eyes gathered the tears, but they didn't fall. All she wanted was the simplicity of her relationship with Erik. She wanted to return to their lessons, their music. She needed him. She didn't want Lucas or Giselle or anyone else. She just wanted Erik.

She played a few notes, making up a melody on the spot. It was so mournfully beautiful that the tears finally fell. Amelia continued playing the piano and scratched down the notes onto the blank staff.

The finished product not only held music, but teardrops as well.

Yes, I am alive! I know these chapters take forever, but I want you to never lose hope in me. I am always working on them in my spare time. This semester is just insane for me. I'm surprised I wrote half of this one in the past week or so! Please tell me what you think, I love your feedback!