Okay, so not as long of a wait as last time. Thanks for being patient!

As always, I do not own Twilight or it's characters. But I do have an Edward pillowcase that Holly was nice enough to buy me!

Chapter 11 – It's Complicated

Bella POV

As I stared out of my bedroom window, my pendant fell between each of my fingers as I mindlessly toyed with the gift that had become my favorite plaything and primary source of comfort. I was unable to take it off, and each time I ran my fingers over the tips of the red petals or the small, smooth center, my mind would travel back to the day it was given to me. I found myself feeling more thoughtful than sad, most of the time. Of course, I had shed my fair share of tears over the past two months, but something had kept me from falling into the pit of despair that would have been very willing to swallow me whole; the hope of seeing Edward again.

It was Friday night, and for the past hour I had been preparing for a date with someone who expected to have a fair shot at winning my heart, and part of me felt like a horrible person because I was probably just wasting both of our time. Alice convinced me to go out with him, saying that it would be good therapy for me to get out and have some fun. But my heart couldn't stop wishing that it was Edward who was picking me up soon, not Jacob.

Jacob was quiet and polite, therefore a favorite among the teachers at school, and his rugged good looks and better than average body also made him a favorite among the female population. We were in the same homeroom and English classes together, and soon enough we had become friends. Eventually, that friendship had morphed into a comfortable togetherness, and here I was getting ready to go on our first date.

Jacob picked me up in his old, slightly weather-beaten Camaro and took me to a nice restaurant just outside of Forks. Our conversation came easily, talking about school and assignments mostly, and before I knew it we had finished our desserts and were waiting for the bill.

"So, Bella" Jacob said with a hint of anxiety, "I was wondering if you weren't doing anything next Friday, would you want to go with me to the homecoming dance?"

Ugh - a dance? My enthusiasm would have been greater if he had asked me to go bungee jumping off of the Grand Canyon. Not wanting to turn him down, though, I did the best that I could.

"Um, sure, that sounds fun," I answered sincerely, although I would have to tell Jacob at some point that I didn't actually dance.

"Great," he said as the waitress brought our check, "Thank you," he said to her, not looking away from me and reaching for his wallet at the same time.

"Jake, I don't mind paying for myself" I said, momentarily recalling my infamous date with Mike.

"Don't be silly, Bella. We are on a date," he said, as though this explained everything.

"Well, thank you for dinner," I said, reminding myself that Jacob was not Mike, and I didn't believe for a second that he would feel that he was due anything more than a kiss goodnight. Thinking about that, I briefly wondered if that moment would bring me off of my perch on the fence. Could my reaction to a kiss make me realize that I needed to focus on the present and stop living for the past and a non-guaranteed future? Or would I be convinced that Jacob and I would never be more than friends?

"No problem," he said, smiling with a relaxed look on his face. We walked to the car hand in hand, and Jake even opened my door for me. Once we were on the road he asked me which radio station was my favorite, and he changed the tuner once I told him. I had to admit that I had a great time, and I agreed when he asked if we could work on our English essay together during the week. I found myself wondering at what point we might be considered girlfriend and boyfriend, but decided that I didn't need to worry about that just yet. When we reached my front door I knew it was too late to even consider inviting him in. I had no intention of pushing Charlie's paternal limits. Jake leaned over and gently kissed me on my cheek while resting his hand on my shoulder. It was a nice enough gesture to make me want to jump to his side of the fence.

Later that night, as I was getting ready for bed and reflecting on my date with Jake, Alice texted me.

HOW'D IT GO? DON'T REPLY IF U R STILL OUT.~A

I sent back a message telling her to call me, and soon enough we were talking well past midnight. I told her all about dinner, our conversations, and Jacob's request for next Friday, which caused Alice to giggle loudly.

"Bella, did Jacob get you drunk? I can't imagine any other way he could have convinced you to go to a dance," she said.

"No, there were no methods of coercion involved," I explained, "I just had a really nice time with him. It was fun, and he was easy to talk to, you know? I have no intentions of dancing, of course, but I didn't want to say no to him, either."

"That's great. I'm glad you had a good time. I, on the other hand, had a quiet night with the DVD player and my nail polish," she said.

"No Jasper tonight?" I asked.

"No. Emmett was getting jealous, so Jasper decided to take him out tonight instead of me. I have been hogging all of his attention these past few months, so I guess I should learn to share now," she giggled again.

Another two months went by and not much had changed except the weather, which was getting colder as winter threatened to pounce early in Forks. Jacob and I were still dating, and had even doubled a couple of times with Alice and Jasper. It felt awkward at first, knowing that Jasper and Edward were good friends, and part of me wondered if either he or Emmett had told Edward about my relationship, or if Edward had told them about the feelings we had for each other. It was childish, but I wondered how he would feel if he did know.

Since Jacob was Forks High School's quarterback, I found myself going to a lot of high school football games. I had never really taken an interest in them before, but being the star player's girlfriend I wanted to be supportive. Jessica Sullivan, the head cheerleader, obviously felt that the role of quarterback's girlfriend was rightfully hers, and she kept giving me dirty looks every time Jake would wave to me from the field. As annoying as she could be, part of me wondered what Jacob saw in me over her. After all, she was a cheerleader and was very popular. Add to that a beautiful face and an impressive figure, and it seemed like an obvious choice – and I didn't mean me.

The holidays were quickly approaching, and Alice and I had reached another milestone that we celebrated – getting our learner's permits. We took advantage of as many Saturday mornings as we could before the real bad weather started by forcing Charlie out of bed on his day off to teach us to drive. He insisted that, as a policeman, he would be the best instructor for defensive driving and adhering to the rules of the road. We had to agree with him when we considered the alternatives; Renee would be a nervous wreck sitting in the passenger seat, and since Alice's parents worked most of the weekend, that would have left Emmett, who refused to get out of bed any earlier than noon on the weekends.

"Small wheel adjustments, Bells," Charlie instructed as I navigated down one of Forks' least used roads, "You make smaller wheel adjustments and you won't be all over the road." Okay, I thought, but if I'm all over the road already, don't my wheel adjustments have to be bigger? I would have to work on that one.

Alice and I had pretty much mastered parking, signals, and smaller wheel adjustments by Thanksgiving, and we were discussing our accomplishments the night before the holiday at her house while helping her mother make pies for the next day's feast. Alice was busy making crust while I peeled apples and navigated the ipod on the counter to facilitate decent music to cook by, when their phone rang.

"Bella, I think Emmett's in the shower and I've got flour all over my hands. Can you grab that?" Alice asked.

"Sure," I replied as I wiped my hands on a towel. I noticed the caller ID just as I hit the 'Talk' button, which only read Unknown Caller.

"Hello?" I said. A short pause made me wonder if this was one of those telemarketers, but finally the caller spoke.

"Um, hello. Who is this?" the caller asked. My breath caught in my throat as I recognized the voice immediately. I just barely managed to speak as my heart rate increased to the speed of a hummingbird's wings.

"It's Bella," I responded. I knew that no further clarification was necessary. After all, how many girls named Bella did Edward know?

"Wow, I wasn't expecting to hear your voice. How are you?" he asked. So many thoughts passed through my mind. Was he happy to hear my voice or not? Stop overanalyzing and answer the question, I told myself.

"I'm good. How are you?" I asked, feeling a little dizzy from the shock.

"Great, thanks," he said, "I've thought about you a lot, and really missed talking to you."

"I've missed that, too. How's college?" I asked. By this time Alice was curious as to who had called, and when she mouthed 'Edward?' I nodded my head and she smiled and bounced up and down a couple of times to show her excitement.

"Well, it's tougher than I thought it would be. It's a lot different than high school, that's for sure, but I'm enjoying it, too." He paused for a moment, then added,

"Look, I'm supposed to meet Emmett to go out in a little while, in fact I was just calling to let him know I was home, but I was wondering if you're not busy at the moment if I could pick you up and we could just go for a drive or something? I mean, I don't want to interrupt you or anything, so if you're busy with Alice…"

"No, that would be fine," I interjected without giving it another thought. I knew Alice would be more disappointed if I had said no to Edward's invitation.

"Okay, great. Then I should be there in about ten minutes," he said happily.

"Okay, see you then," I said before hanging up. I stood there for a moment and thought about seeing Edward, and must not have moved in a couple of minutes because the next thing I knew Alice was standing next to me asking me if I was alright.

"That was Edward on the phone," I said to her.

"Yes, I gathered that by the half of the conversation I could hear," she said with a laugh, "so what did he say?"

"He's coming here to pick me up so we can go for a drive," I answered.

"Really? Where? Did he know you were here before he called?" she asked.

"No. He sounded pretty surprised when I answered the phone, actually. I guess he has plans with Emmett later, so I can't imagine we'll be gone long," I said as I realized it was probably a true statement.

"Okay, then let's get upstairs and fix your hair and make you smell less like an apple orchard," she said with a smile.

We came back downstairs a few minutes later, and after only waiting another two minutes there were headlights pulling into the Hale's driveway. I saw a figure moving past the windows, and after a quick knock at the kitchen door, in walked the only boy who could take my breath away simply by existing.

"Hi," he said with a smile after spotting me near the stove where I stood.

"Hi," was the only response I could manage. My memory had not done him justice, because his green eyes were even more piercing than I remembered, and his bronze hair was tousled in just the right places. His casual leather jacket was unzipped to reveal a tan Henley shirt, which looked amazing on him. More than anything I wanted to run into his arms and never let him go, but I controlled myself as he said hello to Alice and asked where Emmett was.

"He's in the family room, watching the game," she replied.

"Okay, thanks," he said to her, and then to me, "I'll be right back," and he walked into the other room. I could hear him and Emmett greeting each other and then some conversation that was kept at a low volume. He came out a minute later with his car keys in hand.

"Ready to go?" he asked me.

"Sure," I said as I donned my jacket and followed him outside to his car. We got into his Volvo and pulled out of the driveway before either of us spoke, and I was suddenly nervous that perhaps the purpose of this little road trip was so that he could tell me that he had time to reconsider his feelings since he'd been away, and that all bets for us were off. Just as those thoughts began to get the better of me, though, he spoke.

"So, it's been a while since I've seen you; about three months, actually. What have I missed?" he asked lightly.

"Well," I began, "Charlie has been teaching me and Alice how to drive. We both passed our permit tests on the same day, which Renee has deemed 'the beginning of the end,' as she put it. I took your advice and talked to Mrs. Cope about AP classes, which are going pretty well. And I'm still working at the station a few days a week, but to be honest I don't enjoy it as much as I used to." I was curious if he would respond to my last comment or not.

"And how are things with Jacob?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the road. I looked at him for a moment, surprised that he asked about Jake. I had wondered many times if he knew I was dating, and it was probably foolish to think that he didn't know, since he and Jasper and Emmett were close, but it still surprised me that he had been keeping tabs on me.

"Pretty good. Jacob is…nice," I said hesitantly, wondering where the conversation was headed. Just then Edward pulled off the road into a parking lot for the boat landing. The area was pretty much deserted at this time of year, so we had plenty of privacy and could look out over the dark waves in the peninsula. Edward shut off the engine but left the radio on, then turned in his seat to face me more directly. The lights from the dashboard were just enough for me to see him clearly, which I was grateful for.

"Bella, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable asking about your relationship with him. I just wanted to know if you were happy or not," he explained, "and since you hadn't called, I figured I would just have to ask."

"It's okay, Edward. I've asked you about Tanya before, so I don't mind," I said, turning in my seat as well, "And I haven't found myself in any dangerous situations, so I haven't really had an excuse to call, either." I wanted to steer the conversation away from the Tanya area, because she was the last subject I wanted to approach.

"I feel conflicted," he said, shaking his head, "I want to tell you that you don't need a reason to call, but I know that if we started talking on the phone to each other when we wanted that it would only make things more complicated, not easier."

"I know, you're right," I said, thinking of how strange it would be to be studying with Jake some day after school and have Edward call, or calling him when he was at his apartment with Tanya. No, that wouldn't work out well at all.

"Do you think it would be okay if I texted you once in a while? Just to check in?" he asked. My heart soared and I felt myself blushing as I nodded my head and answered, "Yes."

A small smile appeared on his face and I couldn't help but notice that he was staring intently at my chest. I felt uncomfortable for a brief moment until I realized that it wasn't really my chest that he was staring at, but my neck. The v-neck sweater I was wearing showcased the pendent he had given me, the same one I had not taken off since the day he put it around my neck.

"I'm glad you like that," he said as my hand instinctively came up to my throat.

"I really do," I confirmed. Edward reached over then and took my hand in his, causing those familiar sparks to be rekindled, and he rubbed small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. His eyes found mine again and I found myself getting lost in his gaze. Neither of us spoke for about a minute, and then he shifted in his seat and put his arm around me and pulled me over to him. We sat together looking out at the water, Edward's arm around me and my head on his shoulder, and occasionally his lips would form a kiss on the top of my head where his cheek had been resting.

There was so much I wanted to talk with him about, so many things I would have liked his opinion on, but those would all have to wait. Knowing that I only had him to myself for a very short and precious amount of time, I wanted to just enjoy the quiet sound of his breathing and the feeling of his arms around me. A buzzing sound coming from Edward's jacket pocket was like an alarm clock, ripping me from a wonderful dream.

"Emmett is getting anxious," Edward commented as he read the text from his friend, "I guess it's time to head back."

"Okay," I said as I started to sit back into the passenger side. Edward's hand cupped the side of my cheek, causing me to look up and notice that his face was only centimeters from my own. He had a pained expression on his face, possibly mirroring the one I wore on my own.

"I knew it would be hard to say goodbye tonight, but I also knew the happiness from seeing you would outweigh it," he almost whispered.

"I was worried that you'd changed your mind about me," I admitted softly.

"Never doubt what I said to you, Bella. Every word was absolutely true," he replied, looking deep into my eyes. Then he leaned in and brushed his lips against mine gently, as if still unsure of what was going to be acceptable to me. I responded by pressing my lips to his firmly, deepening the kiss and letting him know that my feelings had not waivered a bit, either.

We both seemed to need air at the same time, and sat for a moment with our foreheads touching and breathing heavily. Slowly we both put our seatbelts on and we drove back to Alice's house, my left hand entwined in his right.

Emmett was waiting impatiently in the driveway when we pulled in, and we both laughed at how childlike he looked with his arms folded, pouting as he paced back and forth.

"I'll text you soon," Edward said in a serious tone before I got out of the car to go face Alice's inquisition.

"I'd like that," I said.

"Be safe, Bella," he reminded me with a wink.

So, some of my readers were not too happy with Edward confessing his feelings for Bella (or kissing her) when he has Tanya - but can you sympathize with Bella, or is she just as guilty now that she is dating Jake? Please review and let me know your thoughts!

REVIEWS = LOVE. GIMME! ;)