For disclaimer check the 1st chapter...

A/N: Okay guys this one is full of McKay angst and Sheppard whump ;-)

Chapter Nine

The people around Sheppard were dispersing when Rodney's voice startled them. "It worked," he said with an incredulous tone. Heads snapped to the direction of the Colonel's hand. The silver spikes had begun retracting from the skin but they showed difficulty like old rusted metal. The white sheet on the bed was turning red where the hand from where the spikes had penetrated the skin, leaving puncture marks in their path. When all the spikes were once again inside the device, it powered down and fell off. That's when the horrified intakes of breaths sounded in the room. Every bruise, cut, burn and bullet hole, all those "healed" injuries had resurfaced on Sheppard's body. Then he was whisked away to surgery.

Rodney hated waiting. Waiting to know what the device was.

Waiting to get the device off.

Waiting for Sheppard to get out of surgery.

Waiting for Sheppard to wake up.

He almost died… again. This time was not only much closer but it happened before his eyes. One thing after another. Each one shortening his life without anyone knowing. The man's body was shutting down from the inside. Rodney wanted to blame himself, to blame Sheppard, even Beckett and his stupid voodoo medicine. He even thought of blaming the Ancients. So many great things came from them and such powerful knowledge they had possessed. He looked at Sheppard's face; so hollow, his feverish forehead covered in beads of sweat and dark circles standing out on the pale face. Not even his hair had the strength to go its different ways. Sheppard always has the ability to be strong for those around him, to take control of situations and the uncanny talent for sacrificing himself for others. Yes, he had many layers under his carefree and sometimes childish attitude. All of those things were still visible on his features for someone who knew him well, but the tube that snaked down his throat took all the attention. It was that same thing and all the other tubes, needles and machines that made him so angry at the Ancients for having created so many faulty devices, but in the end Rodney was doing what any other person facing the mortality of a close friend did, just looking for someone to blame. Next to him were Teyla and Ronon, also afraid of leaving the Colonel. Together they watched as the machine pumped oxygen into Sheppard's lungs, his chest rose and fell in a steady rhythm.

Days later things hadn't improved much, but Carson made a point to remind everyone how things hadn't gotten worse either. "He needs time to heal," he said. "His body went through a lot of trauma," he reminded everyone. And "he's gathering all his strength back; he'll wake up when he's ready," was the latest statement. The truth was Carson was running out of optimistic speeches; of course that didn't diminish the faith everyone had in the Colonel. It was all a matter of time until he would beat the odds once more. Rodney, Teyla and Ronon had taken turns at sitting with him. As the time went by they had grown accustomed to the sounds in the room, the beeping of the numerous machines and the whooshing from the ventilator were a normal part of the scene. They would study his still form from the ever present chair at his bedside, waiting, watching for any flicker of movement that would indicate he was on the brink of waking up. None of them wanted him to wake up alone, but nothing happened. Woolsey visited him regularly and when work got in the way of that he made sure to radio the infirmary for an update.

"You're an idiot. Did you know that? Of course, you knew! I do make a point of constantly reminding you of the fact because you know it is a fact. Even though you can do all that crazy math in your head as fast as you can fly anything flyable. But that is beside the point; the point is that you're an idiot. You wanna know why? Because you always have to put everything and everyone else before you and your health! How can you spit blood and pretend like it's nothing? You know how hard it is to watch you slowly d… deteriorating before our eyes and all you cared about was knowing whether we all made it back unharmed." Rodney looked down at his comatose friend, silently wiling him to wake up and give him crap about something meaningless because if he did it meant things were going to be alright and he wanted nothing more then for that to be true.

He had stopped pacing right after he stopped ranting. Everybody knew that was how Rodney McKay dealt with things, but when yet another rant had gone by and Sheppard hadn't even acknowledged it he sat defeated in the chair next to the bed. "It's not easy being your friend John."

"You're a good friend Rodney," Carson spoke from behind him.

"I would like to say 'I know' but truth is I'm not. Asking for help is as bad for my health as it is for my pride."

"There was no way of knowing what the device would do." – Both were talking without taking their eyes from the man in front of them.

"Which is why I should've left it alone, but no, it goes against my nature to leave things alone even when I know nothing good comes from ancient devices. They should've really put warning labels on those things."

"Rodney, you found out how to deactivate it so I could treat him and that's why he's still alive. Don't beat yourself up about it."

"What are you going to say next, 'Everything is going to be alright'? Because that's getting old." – Beckett shook his head in disbelief at the man's sarcasm and left without replying; it was getting old after repeating it so many times but it didn't change from being the truth. He had faith in that.

There was no way to tell time conventionally inside the infirmary, but when the number of medical personnel decreased Rodney knew it was night time. He threw one last look at Sheppard and the monitors around him before he settled into a 'comfortable' enough position in the chair to sleep in. He was exhausted from dividing himself between lab work and Sheppard watching so it didn't take long for him to fall asleep right there and then. The nurses were used to the presence of Rodney, Teyla and Ronon, so whenever they did the routine check on the monitors, IV's and recorded vital signs if they found any of them asleep they would cover them with a blanket. But they drew the line at changing bandages and personal care of their patients. For those only medical personnel was allowed in the room. At the beginning they had insisted they could help but by now they had reached a truce. When the night nurse finished her round she made sure to cover Rodney before returning to her station. At least she had been spared having to say the 'He has improved somewhat but other than that there is no change'- speech. She was never fond of giving bad news and with that thought she wandered off to other patients.

Later on, Rodney jerked awake. With the blanket discarded on the floor he rubbed his eyes looking around for what could've woken him. His first coherent thought was to make sure Sheppard was okay, when his gaze fell on the finally opened hazel eyes, the cloud in his brain disappeared along with his ability to speak hundreds of words per second. All he managed to utter was a soft "Hey". Sheppard wasn't all there at the moment, understandably though. Rodney watched him carefully as he slowly blinked once, then once more and Rodney saw him quirk the corners of his mouth up in what he knew, if there was no tube or tape around, would be a small comforting smile and then Sheppard went back to sleep. McKay released the breath he didn't know he was holding and went looking for Carson. Things were finally looking up.

TBC