Everything seemed to be in it's place. The walls the same color, the furniture all the same. Why did something feel so monumentally different? What was missing that I couldn't figure out? I had a vague memory of the founders ball and some where along the way Stefan had changed me. That's all I could remember but yet there was still something else. Something lurking behind the scenes in my head that I couldn't figure out. I felt miserably unsettled. I felt heartache and a since of urgency, I felt tired but strong, and so thirsty. My feet hit the floor and I dressed in a flash, feeling like I needed to make to school and see Stefan. That's all I needed, I just needed to see Stefan and then I would be fine.
I headed downstairs to find Jenna standing in the kitchen serving up a full blown breakfast buffet. The island was filled with scrambled eggs, bacon, toast and orange juice. I tried to breeze by without her noticing.
"Hey you!" She called after me. I debated pretending not to hear her but then thought better and walked back to her.
"Have a seat." She gestured to the bar stools. I sat down.
"What's up?" I asked quietly not making full eye contact with her.
"Have some breakfast!" She smiled cheerfully.
"Jenna, honestly I'm not-" She held her hand up in protest.
"Nope, no excuses. I haven't seen you eat a thing in a while. Your always dodging dinner, lunch and everything else. I want to see you eat." She said pointing sharply at her feast. I took a long look at the steaming scrambled eggs on the counter. I pulled the plate close as Jenna instantly handed me a fork. I stabbed a piece and poked it in my mouth. I finally managed to get it down but then looked back up at Jenna in agony. She rolled her eyes.
"Seriously Elena what gives?" She asked taking off her apron and slamming it on the counter. I heard Jeremy approaching. He walked into the kitchen and started scooping a freakish amount on food onto a plate.
"Thanks Jenna." He said through his stuffed mouth. As he left the room Jenna's face met mine again.
"Your pregnant." She stated.
"What? No I'm not Jenna. Honestly I'm just stressed from school and stuff and I just don't have much of an appetite right now." I lied.
I watched her eye all of the food on the counter silently debating whether she was about to begin force feeding me. She returned her gaze to me and sighed.
"Fine, go to school. But you better get your eating habits back on track soon Elena, I mean it." She warned. I smiled as I watched her mild hostility fade.
The air was nice and cool with oncoming fall. I could smell the spice of the turning leaves as I drove with the window down. I still couldn't shake the strange feeling I had but I turned the radio up loudly trying to drown out my thoughts. I made my way out of the car as Stefan approached me from a few parking spaces down. His usual sweet smile stretched across his face as he met me with an embrace. He held on strangely long.
"Hey, you okay?" I asked smiling as he backed away and smiled.
"Yeah I just, I don't know...I just missed you." He shrugged and laughed lightly.
" I missed you to." I said realizing instantly that my voice was a little flatter and less enthusiastic than usual. We made our way through the parking lot and into the hallway of the school. I stopped at my locker and fumbled through my books.
"Is everything okay?" Stefan asked as I realized his eyes had been on me this whole time, probably trying to access my mood.
"Yeah I'm fine." I tried to smile. "I just...I just feel a little strange today. I'm having trouble remembering the last several days and …. I don't know." I gave up trying to explain an unexplainable feeling.
"I know how you feel, I'm a little out of sorts today to. But don't worry...it's normal for you to feel this way after I changed you. It's really disorienting and it's perfectly normal for things to get a little mixed up." He explained. I closed my locker.
"Why did we do it again?" I asked. Stefan looked slightly bothered.
"You asked me to. You said you wanted to be like me and Damon so I did it." I couldn't help but to notice the weakness that rang throughout me at the mention of Damon. Why on earth I felt that way I didn't know. "Elena you can't be having second thoughts now, it's too late for that." Stefan said looking hurt.
"No, no...I'm not second guessing...I'm just trying to remember it." I explained.
He nodded "It will come back to you, eventually." He smiled. He kissed me on the forehead and made his way through the hall. Suddenly I felt like everything was crashing in on me. All the voices in the hall began to climb in my head. I could hear each individual word being spoken. I could hear them all breathing. I could hear a sea of beating hearts. It reminded me just how thirsty I was and it began to be painful. I dashed quickly into the girls bathroom and met my face in the mirror as my eyes grew dark with hunger. It frightened me to see myself like that. I had to leave, I had to take care of this before I could be around the school, before I made a mistake. Damon would probably get a good kick out of that I thought suddenly, and smiled. Again I felt a sudden rise in my stomach like butterflies at the thought of his name. I hoped whatever was wrong with me would pass quickly.
I ran out to the parking lot, liking the way my legs felt like they could carry me forever and jumped in the car. I pulled out and began to drive, at first I wasn't sure where so I just drove. When I made it down into the valley a little further I decided to go to the cemetery to see my parents. I began to accelerate taking the curve on Northbrook drive when my tire popped and my car shimmied to a stop. I got out and made my way around to see my tire flat to the ground.
"Great..." I whispered. I walked to my trunk and got out the jack and placed under the side of my car. I felt silly for using it knowing fully well I could lift the car up myself but I knew that blatant acts in public like that could be trouble, not to mention I needed to work on the tire to. I began to crank the bar watching the car rise rapidly.
"Not so fast Elena. Just cause your made of steel doesn't mean the cars frame can put up with your hulk strength." Damon appeared beside me, a beautiful smile on his face.
"Hey." Was all I could say. At the very sight of him I felt like I had lost every bit of strength I had. Every thing I was made of melted. What was wrong with me! I watched him slowly crank the car up, his piercing blue eyes focused on the car, his lashes casting beautiful dark accents across his cheekbones. His dark hair which was the longest I had ever seen it yet, hung in his eyes and flipped ever so subtly at the nape of his neck. I wanted to reach out and run my fingers through it. I wanted him to look at me and not the car. Like he heard my thoughts he looked up and met my eyes sending a shock wave through me so dramatic that I stood suddenly.
"Uh, thanks for helping." I stammered. Where did you come from?" I asked realizing how fast he had showed up.
I was just inside those woods." He nodded ahead at the thick forest surrounding the entire road.
"I was hunting, right place at the right time, I guess." He explained. He got up and took off the brown wool lined hoodie that he was wearing and tossed it inside the front seat passenger window, revealing the long sleeve fitted cream colored shirt underneath. I took in the perfect muscular angle of his body, his arms, his chest. I shook my head and threw out the thoughts. He walked to the back of the car and opened the trunk pulling out the donut tire and and carrying it to the front.
"What are you doing skipping class, Ferris Beuller?" He asked flashing the most incredible sideways smile I've ever seen. I looked to the ground quickly breaking our eye contact.
"Um, I just needed to get out. I've been feeling strange today." I said quietly. I heard the thud as he dropped the tire to the ground and suddenly he was standing right in front of me.
"What's wrong? How are you feeling strange?" He asked. I looked up at him and met his fiercely wild gaze. His eyes took the breath right out of me. "What is it Elena?" He asked with a strange sense of urgency. It took me a minute to find my voice.
" I just feel out of sorts. It's nothing." I answered confused by his sudden intensity. His brows pulled together, his eyes dropped in what seemed to be sadness and at the same time horrifying news.
" Nothing." He repeated the last word of my sentence as if to himself. His shook his head and drew in a sharp breath. He turned and kneeled back down replacing my torn tire with the little one. He threw the stuff back in the trunk. I couldn't help but to notice how strange he was acting. No smart remarks, no attitude, just my friend helping me with a flat tire.
"Are you okay?" I asked. He laughed lightly. He wiped the hair off his cheek, leaving a dark smudge from the tire on his face. He made his way to me.
"What's funny?" I asked. He stopped not a foot away from me and jammed his hands down in his pockets. A beam of sunlight managed to filter its way through the thick woods and wash his face in silvery gold.
"Let's just say I'm having a pretty weird day to." He smiled lightly, although a trace of sadness reached his eyes. I took a deep breath to calm the butterflies wrecking my stomach.
"Thanks for helping me with the tire." I spoke softly, searching for a reason behind the sadness in his eyes.
"My pleasure." He smiled sweetly. Then without warning his fingers traced the side of my face. He tucked my hair behind my ear. My skin was on fire where he touched and a wave ran through me like a jolt of electricity. This was supposed to be wrong I remembered and took a step back.
"What are you doing?" I asked in shock. He suddenly looked surprised to.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to upset you."
"What's going on with you. Your not acting the same."
"I'm not the same." He said sincerely. I saw a strange glimmer take over his eyes and I realized he had tears in his eyes. I wanted to reach out and grab him, and I didn't know why. Not knowing what else to do I turned and took off into the woods.