Heavier Than Mountains
Disclaimer: I don't own Peacemaker Kurogane.
The rain seems sad today.
Damp air is harder to breathe, but I do enjoy watching the rain fall on Kyoto. Although, after that storm a few weeks ago, I am somewhat hoping this one passes quickly.
Ah. That loud crash could only be our little puppy, once again abandoning his page duties to spar. To be fair, Hijikata-san has been a little more lax regarding that since the assault on Ikeda-ya. Tetsunosuke proved he was worthy of his swords that night. I am proud of him. He has grown so much since he first arrived.
He seems much happier, now. I still don't know what Susumu and Yaminami-san said to him that night to pull the boy out of the depths of his own mind, but I thank them every day for it. The image of his terrified face will be with me till the day I die. What was he seeing, what horrible thing could so haunt the thoughts of such a bright boy? I suspect Tatsunosuke knows, but he will not speak to me of it.
Well. perhaps it is best to put the past behind us and look to the future.
Whatever there may be of it.
I can vaguely recall something my father read to me, something about there being no winners in a war, only losers. Fight hard as we may, there is still that chance we will be the bigger loser in this war.
And I am fairly certain I will not live to see the end of it. Coughing up my own blood during the battle at Ikeda-ya raised more than a few red flags. I know I have tuberculosis.
I know I will die.
I am no ninja, living only to die at the order of my employer. Neither am I one of the high noble families, thinking only of my own survival. I am only the child of a samurai family of small note. Should I die, it will matter little in the grand scheme of things.
Death is lighter than a feather, duty is heavier than a mountain.
Yet, what more have I to give? Knowing my death is approaching far more quickly than I'd ever known, I have but one thing I can do.
No matter how my lungs burn, no matter how my body aches, I will give my all to see this through to the end. To death, and beyond. And win, lose or draw, I will count my life well spent.