THE NEXT DAY...
(Sesshomaru is walking through his halls, brooding sexily. Jaken rushes up to him)
Jaken: Lord Sesshomaru...
Sesshomaru: (pinching the bridge of his nose tightly, in a rare show of annoyance) Jaken, can you not see that I am clearly brooding sexily over my sudden and uncharacteristic attraction to the miko Kagome and that I do not want to be bothered?
Jaken: Well, yes, my lord, but you see, your brother Inuyasha has arrived and is banging at the front gate, clamoring to get in.
Sesshomaru: (snaps out of his brooding at record speed) WHAT? That filthy hanyou is here? (gets very mad)
Jaken: (cowering) yes, m'lord...
Sesshomaru: DAMN HIM!
(Sesshomaru storms to the front gate, Jaken trotting obediently after him, and hurls open the gate to glare at his brother, who glares back)
Sesshomaru: (sneering) What do you want?
Inuyasha: (angrily) As if you don't know!
Sesshomaru: (sarcastically) Yes, because I have clearly managed to develop telepathy within the last few minutes, I know exactly what it is that you want.
Inuyasha: (pausing, confused) ...you have?
Sesshomaru: NO!
(Sesshomaru storms around, glaring angrily at his brother while managing to look incredibly sexy while doing so)
Sesshomaru: Just what is it that you want, half-breed?
Inuyasha: (recognizing his cue) Oh! Well, I followed Kagome's scent to here, so I know you have her holed up in here somewhere, and I want her back!
Sesshomaru: (raising eyebrow) That's impossible.
Inuyasha: No, it's not! I can hear her laughing inside the walls as she plays with your ward Rin!
Sesshomaru: No, no, that's not what I meant. We traveled by air, so there's no possible way you could have followed her scent here.
Inuyasha: (face falling) oh... (shakes his head violently, before looking up and glaring viciuosly at his brother once more) That's hardly my fault! I'm not the one writing all these inconsistencies into the story and brutally slaughtering everyone's character! The point is, you have Kagome, and I want her back!
Sesshomaru: (sighing, pincing his nose) Are you sure she wants to go back with you?
Inuyasha: (pausing) ...what?
Sesshomaru: Nevermind. You're a stupid hanyou; there's no way you could possibly decipher my semi-cryptic remarks. Well, you're welcome to come in, I guess. After all, I can hardly concentrate on brooding sexily when you're out here making a ruckus to come in.
Inuyasha: That's more like it. (shoves his way inside)
Sesshomaru: (gliding in alongside him, shutting the door in the process) You can stay in your old room until you sort everything out with Kagome. After all, I can hardly have you stinking up the place with your putrid scent as you wander around aimlessly looking for her.
Inuyasha: (puzzled)...was that an insult?
Sesshomaru: (sighs) Nevermind. Your rooms are this way...
(Sesshomaru leads Inuyasha away down the hallway, despondently wondering what he's gotten himself in to)
MEANWHILE...
(Kagome is skipping happily down the path to Sesshomaru's indoor hot spring, humming to herself)
Kagome: Boy, am I dirty! Playing with Rin in the mud all day has really taken all the energy out of me too! Having a relaxing bath in the hot springs withno one to interrupt me should be just the thing to re-energize me! What a good idea!
(Kagome continues on her merry way, humming all the while. Moments later, Sesshomaru approaches the bath house from a different direction)
Sesshomaru: Wow, dealing with Inuyasha is more frustrating than I remembered. A warm bath all by myselfshould be just the thing to calm me down and relax me after dealing with that obnoxious hanyou...
(Sesshomaru enters the bathouse and disrobes, casually not noticing a familiar-looking schoolgirl outfit sitting folded nearby)
Sesshomaru: And now, for my bath!
(Sesshomaru opens the door to the hot spring, fully naked. Inside, Kagome is swimming around in the warm water, completely nude. Both freeze and gape at each other in astonishment for a long moment, blinking, before Kagomes screams)
Kagome: AHHHHHHHHH!
Sesshomaru: AHHHHH!
Kagome: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!
Sesshomaru: AAAAAHHHHHH!
Kagome: (taking a deep breath) -
Inuyasha: (bursts into the room, Tessaiga drawn, fully prepared to kill anyone that's threatening Kagome) Alright, Kagome! What's wrong?
Kagome: (gaping) AHH! What the hell are you doing here, Inuyasha?
Inuyasha: (confused) I heard you screaming, so I thought you were in danger, and- (notices Kagome's current state of undress) oh my...
Kagome: (mortified) INUYASHA, YOU BAKA! SIT!
Inuyasha: AHH! *is slammed to the ground with an undignified thump*
Sesshomaru: (crossing his arms arrogantly, supremely unconcerned about his current state of undress) As you can see, Inuyasha, Kagome is perfectly fine.
Inuyasha: (struggling to his feet, just now noticing the presence of his brother) Sesshomaru! What the hell are you doing here?
Sesshomaru: (raising an eyebrow) Coming for a bath...?
Inuyasha: Like HELL you were! You were planning on molesting Kagome! I'LL KILL YOU!
(Inuyasha lunges at Sesshomaru, Tessaiga drawn)
Kagome: Inuyasha! Sit!
(Inuyasha crashes to the ground)
Kagome: Argh! Sesshomaru, will you please help me get out of here?
Sesshomaru: (opens his mouth to object, before remembering he's in a OOC fanfiction) Um, sure.
(Sesshomaru puts on a bathrobe, goes and picks up Kagome from the water, wraps her in a robe, and carries her out of the bath house bridal-style)
Kagome: Sit! Sit! Sit sit sit sit sit sit sit!
Inuyasha: AHH! (crashing into the ground over and over again) I'm sorry, Kagome! You know I didn't mean to see you like that!
Kagome: I know. SIT!
Inuyasha: (lying in a daze on the floor, a large concussion on his head) bitch...
Kagome: Sit!