Part Two
Authors note: So….um…heeeyyyyyy guys. *Shuffles awkwardly* Haven't, uh, haven't been updatin' in a while and I'm sorry about that. I kind of have a lot going in, you know…school and running like Paulie Bleeker every day after school (but I don't pull off the sexy yellow shorts as well as he does) plus I'm working a little on another fic/oneshot for Across the Universe and some writing of my own. I do love this though and while reviews are few and fair between I vow to finish it in the next couple…years or so.
So, rate and review *gives enthusiastic thumbs up*
And you know I don't own the lovely lads that are Neil, Todd, Charlie, Knox, Pitt's Meeks and Dickums…but if I did, this wouldn't be on FanFiction. Oh Peter Weir you lucky man.
Even when he was young, Todd had been painfully shy. Indeed, most of his early memories had been from behind his mother's legs as he clung desperately to her skirt. He'd also been the kid in the first grade who had burst into tears when his mother plucked him off her dress and left him to fend for himself in the inferno that was a small classroom filled with screaming kids throwing paint at each other and pulling hair.
Still, most children were shy at the age Todd had been when this incident had occurred and most children grew out of the habit, blossoming into more confident and unique individuals. In Todd's case however, this was exactly the opposite. Far from blossoming, Todd had wilted further into the self-conscience shell that had been built like a wall around him. One wondered if Todd might have different had he ever been given a chance to express himself.
Sadly, however, Todd had never been given that opportunity. All his life he was the shadow behind his older brother Jeffrey. Good-looking, charming, straight-A student, Jeffrey—the symbol of all that was perfection—it was natural for parents to be proud of a son like him. Really, what did bumbling little Todd have to offer compared to this charismatic prodigy? It wasn't as though he was going to enchant the Henderson's with witty dinner conversation anytime soon. He was just Todd, the other Anderson.
Keating had gotten it one-hundred-percent right when he said, "Mr. Anderson thinks everything in his life is worthless and embarrassing. Don't you?"
Todd had agreed. All his life it had been shoved under his nose that he didn't have anything to offer and this thought alone caused the pain that he endured every day. On his best days, Todd might simply flush a deep red, hot uncomfortable, obvious embarrassment but it usually meant he only had to make slight eye-contact with someone, or that a snarky Charlie comment had been thrown his way. Nothing drastic. But at it's worst; Todd's embarrassment was downright painful. The mere thought of having to stand in front of a class caused his palms to sweat, his knee's to tremble, his heart quell and his stomach tighten into knots that would baffle even the best boy scout. Tears would sting to his eyes and his face would flush so hotly that it seemed to sizzle under the penetrating gaze of whoever was standing before him.
It was the same sort of pain that Todd was feeling right now as the boys headed up the path leading to the Danbury's house. Loud music rumbled from within the confines of the stone mansion that stood imposingly before the group. A few people were scattered about the lawn shouting something along the lines of peppy cheers screaming about some animal or warrior or something to that degree. Knox was charging up ahead of the group while Meeks trotted behind them and Cameron grumbled about a pebble that was trapped inside his shoe.
But Todd wasn't paying attention to any of this; the pounding in his ears was preventing him from doing so. He felt even worse than he had the night before his poem presentation for Keating's class. The mere thought of small talk and mingling made Todd nearly nauseous with dread, the fact that he would have to do it with complete strangers only increased the feeling times ten. What if said something stupid in front of a girl…what if he made a mistake in front of a Jock, causing him to be locked in the closet or be paraded around the house with his pants on his head? Or what if—?
"Todd? Todd!"
"What?" Todd jerked his head out of his thoughts and looked up at Neil who was peering down him, his eyebrows creased in question.
"Why are you holding my sleeve?"
Todd looked down and, indeed, he was clutching tightly to the sleeve of Neil's navy blazer, similar to how he had to his mothers skirt so many years ago.
Todd flushed deeply, releasing Neil's sleeve, "I uh…I…" he stammered as Neil tried to smooth out the wrinkles Todd's grip had left. Todd bit his lip in anxiety, beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead. He didn't even know he was doing it—it had been years that he had reached out for some sort of affection to calm his nerves but that was before he had friends. Before he had someone so caring like Neil—the brother that Todd could only wish to have.
Neil looked up from his sleeve and peered at Todd, concerned, "Todd, are you ok?"
"I…I…" Todd gulped and shook his head. "I don't want to do this," he whispered, bowing his head in shame.
Neil glanced back at the house and for a moment Todd saw an expression cross Neil's face. Todd recognized it instantly; it was an expression that stared back at him every time he looked in the mirror. It was fear. Neil was afraid.
"You know something Todd," Neil said quietly. "I really don't either."
"Then why are we doing it?" he asked his friend, almost imploringly.
"Because Knox asked us to come and back him up and if backing up a friend isn't enough then I guess Carpe Diem is," Neil said, his tone uncharacteristically unenthusiastic.
Tone was thrown-off my Neil's lack of enthusiasm. The Neil he knew was up for new experiences, always bounding ahead to get to the next great thing, But tonight, Neil's shoulders were slumped, as though weighted down by the burden of his thoughts. Todd hadn't expected the idea of rubbing elbows with Jocks and girls to discourage Neil so much.
"What are you so down about?" Todd asked, still registering Neil's reaction. "You usually don't care about this stuff, you're good at talking to complete strangers," Todd pointed out,
"Yeah, maybe," Neil shrugged indifferently. "But not these strangers." A dark look passed through Neil's eyes and Todd was about to stutter out a confrontation before Charlie appeared at Neil's shoulder.
"Hey, will you two quit holding hands back here?" he said. "We've got a little situation up front."
"What's wrong?" Neil asked, snapping out of his brooding mode and turning his gaze towards the front of the group.
"Old Knoxious is paralyzed with fright," Charlie informed them. "Meeks says he's just being stupid but we wanted a second opinion, Doctor Perry."
Neil winced at the comment but recovered quickly from the sting and emitted an annoyed sigh before reluctantly following Charlie and trudging over to Knox, Todd trotting behind them.