Okay so, I just realized this will actually turn out to be six chapters long - not five. Not a bad thing, because I know exactly what's supposed to happen in the next two chapters - it's like all mapped out - so I'll have this thing finished in no time. I know you guys don't want it to end (neither do I), but I'm just so excited that for ONCE I'll finish something I started. Long going personal thing... ;D

Anyway, IMPORTANT: Sharpay's wedding dress I have described in this story is based off an actual dress I picked out online. Because I can and want to, I'm also posting the link to view it on my profile. Don't forget to look at it! It's so gorgeous! :D

Hope this everything you wanted and more (I mean, for now anyway).

-ssn

Nothing Still

Part Four

It was imperative that Gabriella walk in there with a smile painted on her face.

With her face lit up and doe-eyed. Without a scent of despair or resentment. But that was almost impossible right now. Right now, Gabriella's heart was beating wildly, like a berserk drummer high off speed. Or like an Olympic race had started right within her body. And it released a wave of panic through her nervous system. Her fingers twitched and she gritted her teeth. She was so anxious, she couldn't even decide how she felt. She wanted to run, scream, cry, laugh, and hit her head against a wall all at once.

But instead, she stared at the doors of the wedding hall before her. She could try to climb the stairs and walk inside but Gabriella was weary her knees would simply buckle beneath her. That or she would pass out. Just one more thing she was indecisive over. Her mind was a monster clutter of tangled, fried wires – and trying to think beyond right here right now would come out untranslatable at best.

She began to bite her fingernails. How long could she just keep staring at it before someone caught her?

As Gabriella lifted her hand to her mouth, ready to tear off a jagged nail, her eyes linked with the diamond bracelet. It was Troy's going-away gift. He wanted to travel the world and find himself, he'd said. But he never wanted Gabriella to forget about him—and she never did. Even when, instead of finding himself, he found Sharpay. Suddenly his insecurities vanished. Apparently, Gabriella couldn't offer the same sense of home and belonging that Sharpay did. He said he never meant for it to turn out the way it did, but that changed nothing. It was still a slap in the face.

Now Gabriella was glad she wore the bracelet. She wanted him to see it and feel a sharp pang of regret and shame. To feel the same burn that ate her up inside.

But suddenly, Gabriella felt ashamed, herself. She didn't hate Troy for falling in love with Sharpay. If she hated anything, it was the fact that he couldn't be in love with her too. The fact that she hadn't moved on, that she couldn't move on. She didn't understand her own heart. Why was she so caught up on him? Why did he mean so much to her?

Gabriella dropped her hand and straightened out. She was going to slide right in there and be the happy-go-lucky girl she was so long ago. Listen up you stupid heart, she told herself. I want Troy and Sharpay to be happy. I want them to have a long, joyful life together. You won't get in the way of that. You won't.

She commanded her body to move up those steps. She reached the door. She grabbed the handle of the heavy doors and pulled it towards herself. There it was. Wide open. Welcoming. But she had frozen.

Oh, please don't do this, Gabriella. You'll be fine. You have friends in there—Ryan's in there already. He's waiting for you. And you know he'll protect you from anything—even a broken heart.

Her eyes shot open.

She stepped inside.

-x-x-x-

It was a typical church-style wedding hall.

Two columns of pews paced beside each other, split by the aisle soon to welcome a very happy couple. Then there was the altar. It was a small stage, decorated with arrangements of pale yellow and white flowers. A runner was rolled along the aisle, where petals of the same flowers had been sprinkled. Of course, Gabriella and Ryan had gotten to the hall much earlier than the rest of the attendees, so only a few random strangers helping to set up were in sight.

As Gabriella took it all in, her heart sunk deeper. It was beautiful. So why wasn't she happy to see it?

A tap on her shoulder woke her from her sinking thoughts. Gabriella spun around and found a grinning Taylor McKessie. She was a mutual friend, and clearly very glad to see her. She threw her arms around Gabriella.

"Girl, it's so good to see you!"

Gabriella tried not to feel awkward as she limply hugged her back. "You too, Taylor. Um, how's Chad?"

Taylor removed herself and rolled her eyes. "A boneheaded basketball junkie—same as always."

"Oh," Gabriella laughed very lightly, "Are you two still...?" She let it hang.

"Oh, yeah, I'm still dating him. But don't ask me why—he's such a loser." Taylor laughed and so Gabriella did too, although all emotion had been drained from it. Immediately after, Taylor grabbed Gabriella's wrists and started dragging her off. "Sharpay ordered me to retrieve you as soon as you arrived."

Gabriella gave a little resistance as they trekked through the back rooms of the hall. They walked down a barren corridor and straight into a door on the right—Sharpay's dressing room. Gabriella's breath caught in her chest as Taylor hustled her in. She'd hardly had any time to prepare herself. Gabriella didn't think she was ready to face her best friend, to look her in the eyes and lie, "I'm not in love with your fiancee."

But she was all out of luck.

When Gabriella stumbled into the room, her mouth was hanging open. Taylor breezed past her and attend to her bridesmaid duties, but she paced back a few steps until she stood awkwardly in the door frame. She glanced around the room and finally, she caught sight of Sharpay.

Gabriella was awestruck.

It would be the deepest of insults to say Sharpay was clothed in anything other than the finest. It wasn't even a dress, it was a gown. It was a chiffon gown, to be exact, made of ivory silk. The sweetheart bodice, strapless, toned with beads, was outlined in an elegant crisscross design; it hugged her body, ending just below her bosom. After the bodice, the gown hung fluidly, rolling down her curves gracefully.

And yet, it was only a part of what stunned Gabriella. What had really struck her was the sincerity of Sharpay's smile as she swished in the dress, staring in the mirror. She was glowing. There was no other way to describe the expression of her spirit. And Gabriella had to push her palm into her chest to keep from glowing with jealousy.

Forever, this moment right now, would stick with Gabriella.

Suddenly, Sharpay caught Gabriella's eye in the mirror. Her brilliant smile seemed, impossibly, to beam brighter. She spun around instantly and rushed over to the doorway. Gabriella felt as if the room had entered slow motion. Sharpay opened her arms, laughing, squeezing Gabriella close. But from a different angle, Gabriella's eyes stared ahead, burning from the water begging to well up. The contrast of their emotions was too much for her to handle. Right then and there, Gabriella wanted to break down and sob. Sharpay was joyful to see her best friend, but Gabriella preferred death over this moment. The guilt slowed her heart, enough to where, now, she wasn't even sure it was still beating.

Finally, the moment ended and life hit fast forward again.

"I've missed you so much, Gabby! I'm so happy you're here!" Sharpay held her wrists, sweetly. Gabriella had to concentrate on the words that came out of her mouth, as best as she could; she felt like she was on delay.

"Me too, Shar," she said quietly, and the smile she gave didn't make it past her lips. "You look beautiful." After everything Gabriella felt from the glow Sharpay basked in, that was her only remark.

Sharpay smiled, "Oh, thanks, it's nothing, really." Her humility weighed heavily on Gabriella.

"It's your wedding day—it's definitely something."

She shrugged, "I'd get married to Troy in a sack cloth, if need be." Nearly flying forward into disaster, words caught in Gabriella's tightly shut lips: So would I.

Sharpay broke the brief instant of silence.

"Okay, okay, enough about me—c'mon let's hear about you." She took Gabriella's hand and led her into the room. They sat down on a couch together. Gabriella's throat was so dry, it itched and stung.

"So, how have you been? We haven't had a catch up in months! Did you get any of my emails?" Sharpay was sincere.

Yeah, I got them. I ignored them. Gabriella cleared her aching throat and shook her head mercilessly. "Sorry, my computer's been acting up—and I just, um, haven't had time to get it fixed anyway." Sharpay twisted her lips and sighed.

"That sucks." Gabriella nodded dryly. "I'm serious—I wrote you an email. I wanted you to be my Maid of Honor, but you never got back, and everyone was breathing down my neck so I just picked Tay instead." She squeezed her hand tighter; Gabriella shifted uncomfortably. She looked down, then, in shame, realizing the extent of their cracked relationship: she felt awkward and angry with her own best friend—the same friend she'd ignored and resented for so many long months.

Sharpay went on still, "You know I would have greatly preferred you, but I didn't have a choice. I'm so sorry, sweetie. I mean, gosh," she leaned in a little and giggled, "I don't even really like Taylor."

Gabriella shot her eyes up, forcing herself to giggle too. Taylor was more honorable now, than Gabriella could ever have been. It was funny, she thought to herself, Gabriella liked Taylor more than she liked herself.

"I think Taylor's a good choice."

"She's been sweet, yeah, but she's not you." Sharpay smiled, slightly sad. No, she's not me. I'm not even me. "Listen, Gabriella," she placed her other warm hand on top of their molded fingers. Gabriella's previously deadened heart sped up. It was coming, she knew it. She had been dreading it all along.

"I know that at one point you and Troy were in love," Sharpay began with sincerity and forgiveness. Gabriella wanted to retch. She couldn't hear this right now. But she remained cold and stiff. "And things didn't end well with you two—because of me."

Gabriella had to force herself not to glare. Things weren't supposed to end.

"But I hope that after today, the three of us can patch things up—for real." She looked at her knowingly. Gabriella shifted once more, still as a statue. Sharpay wasn't supposed to know things weren't peachy. She was supposed to be oblivious, for Gabriella's sake. "I know you said you didn't still have feelings for him but—"

"I don't," she interjected harshly. Gabriella withdrew her hand quickly. Sharpay didn't even react, she just sighed.

"I could see it in your eyes, Gabby. And I know that you'd never do anything—I'm not insinuating you would." The rage was pumping through her blood. You have no idea what I'm capable of anymore. "Still, today is probably a little painful and I just—"

"Sharpay," she snapped. "I've told you time and time again: I have no feelings for Troy." Lie. "I left that baggage behind a long time ago. There is no need for you to feel sorry for me." Lie. Sharpay's face slowly fell. Gabriella rolled her shoulders back and sat perfectly tall, hypocritical of the two ton guilt crushing her. "I'm here to see you get married to the man you love. I wouldn't have come if I had any ill will towards you. You're my best friend." Lie, lie, lie. "So let's just, just," she sighed and the anger passed, replaced once more by the overwhelming guilt, "let bygones be bygones."

Sharpay nodded, silently. Gabriella wished she could take it all back right then. She had hurt her—even if it was just a little—when the only one who deserved to be reprimanded was Gabriella herself. But then, just like before, Sharpay let it roll off her back. She smiled once more.

"You're absolutely right." Suddenly, Sharpay gasped and held Gabriella's ear lobe between her fingers. Gabriella grimaced. "Oh my god, these are gorgeous, Gabriella! Where did you get them?"

She let out the smallest, weakest of smiles. "Your brother bought them for me."

Sharpay looked at her with a sly smile and dropped the lobe, returning to her previous position. "Oh, I get it now. Bygones be bygones—you're dating Ryan, aren't you?" Gabriella frowned and tried to protest, but the assumed reality hit Sharpay; she gasped again, and poked Gabriella. "Oh my god, Gabby! Why didn't you tell me? This has to be the best news for Ry—it's been so long for him—"

"What? No, no, I'm not-I'm not dating your—"

A loud crash and clang interrupted the two. Sharpay immediately sprang up.

"I'm sorry—I better go check on that," she rolled her eyes, with a chuckle. "I'll be right back." Sharpay fled out of the room and headed towards the source of the sound.

Gabriella pressed her hand to her chest—she had to leave, hide somewhere, anywhere before she came back. She just couldn't take this anymore. All of her worst fears and regrets were attacking her endlessly, and she needed someplace to shield the on-slaughter. If only she could hide from herself.

Gabriella jumped up and ran out of the room, barely breathing. She found herself in the hallway. She ran down it, far away from the main hall as possible. She came to a crossroad. One hall to the left, one to the right, and the continuing hall ahead. Quickly, she turned left and bolted into the nearest room. She slammed the door behind her and rested her head on it, catching her breath.

The room was dimly lit: only the sunlight, squeezing through the closed blinds as best it could, was available. It was quiet too. Almost peacefully so.

Gabriella was finally alone.

"Gabriella?" said a quiet voice.

But she wasn't.

Gabriella turned around and saw the very Troy Bolton sitting in front of a piano, looking at her inquisitively.