A Tempo
Chapter Six: Showmance Part Deux
She tried not to look at the clock, she really did. But she couldn't help it, and with every glance, time seemed to be moving slower! Had it really only been three minutes? She could have sworn it had been at least ten since the last time she looked.
With a groan, Rachel stood up and made her way to the empty kitchen and pulled a tub of vegan ice cream out of the freezer. She didn't usually indulge in something so expensive (the stuff was nearly ten bucks a pop!), but she figured it was going to be a long week and she would need a little comfort food. But this was bad. The boys had just left for their trip yesterday and already she was so bored she could die.
Of course her manager had decided not to schedule her for a double shift that day, even though the jerk had done so every Saturday for the past few weeks. She worked the lunch shift and made it home around four thirty. Usually, when she had some extra time, she would work out in the living room while the boys played, but she went out for a long run instead. That had only wasted an hour, so after a quick shower, she proceeded to clean the apartment from top to bottom. Unfortunately that didn't take very long because, if anything, the apartment was already in impeccable condition.
She made dinner, picking at the salad with hardly any appetite and tried watching TV. Nothing of any interest was on and, for once, watching Funny Girl for the umpteenth time just didn't do it for her. It was just now nearing eight thirty and there was no way she was going to be able to fall asleep even if she tried since her hours were so screwed up.
Giving up on the ice cream, she threw herself back on the couch and stared blankly up at the ceiling. She was pathetic, a sad shell of the woman she once was. She hadn't stayed home on a Saturday evening since high school… at least she didn't after she started dating Finn. And if they did stay in, it was completely voluntary.
Suddenly, Rachel sat up, a thought occurring to her. Her eyes fell on her cell phone and slowly she reached for it. Finn wouldn't mind hearing from her, she was sure. If he was home, of course.
They had actually seen each other quite a bit the past week. After spending the day with him on Sunday, she was sure she wouldn't hear from him for a few days. She had worked the dinner shift on Monday and was grabbing an order in the back when Mallory popped up and asked who the guy was with Andrew and Michael.
Naturally her brain went into overdrive – she had left the boys with Mrs. Nedry, so how on earth did they get to the restaurant and more importantly, with whom? She had a sneaking suspicion, which was immediately confirmed when she went up front and found them at one of her tables with Finn. He just smiled charmingly and explained that he had picked the boys up from her neighbor's and wanted to bring them by before he took them to dinner. They stayed just long enough to finish a soda and when Rachel returned to gather their glasses, she found a $20 tip.
They didn't see each other on Tuesday, but he did call to check in on her and he picked the boys up from Mrs. Nedry's again on Wednesday. She came home to find her Tupperware in disarray on the kitchen table and Finn bashfully described how he had tried to teach the boys to play the drums with a makeshift set. On Thursday, he took them all out for a farewell dinner and then helped Rachel pack them up for their trip while Michael and Andrew watched TV.
There hadn't been any repeats of Saturday night, thankfully; after further thought on the matter, she felt it better that she and Finn keep their relationship as platonic as possible. But hearing from him every day and seeing how he was with the boys was lulling her into a false sense of security. Finn was not her boyfriend, and while it was nice to spend time with him, they were not a family. She was sure they would always stay in touch, but once the novelty of playing house wore off and reality set in, she doubted she would be hearing from him as much.
In fact, she hadn't even heard from him since Thursday night, she suddenly realized. She knew he had been busy with work, but she'd grown accustomed to getting random texts from him during the day. Staring dejectedly at the phone in her hand, Rachel willed herself to put it down. She wasn't going to call him just because she was lonely, that would make her dependence upon him even worse.
Oh well, maybe she would wash her face and try and wind down. If she closed her eyes long enough, she was bound to fall asleep.
She shuffled into the bathroom and ran the tap while she pulled her face wash out from under the sink. She had just lathered it in and was squinting at herself in the mirror when a sound in the living room caught her attention. She froze and listened, trying to place it, suddenly realizing it was her cell phone vibrating where she had left it on the end table.
She hurried forward, trying not the let the soap blind her, and stubbed her toe on the corner of the doorway. Frantically she wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her robe and tried to grab the phone with a slippery hand. Not even bothering to check the ID, she flipped it open and tried to answer as casually as possible despite her throbbing toe and burning eyes.
"Hello?"
"Hey, Rachel! How's it going?" Finn asked cheerfully.
She did a little dance before answering nonchalantly, "I'm doing well. How are you?"
He sighed heavily and she could hear the sound of a door shutting. "Busy," he groaned. "Down Tank!"
"Is everything alright?"
"Yeah, I'm just now getting home from work and Tank's going a little crazy."
"But it's Saturday!"
"I had a few things to work on today and then there was this huge dinner meeting that Sam wanted me to go to," he explained. "So now I have to go in tomorrow morning to finish up. I haven't checked in with you for a few days and I wanted to see how you're doing before I turn in."
"You know I'm a big girl, Finn," she teased. "I can take care of myself." She walked back to the bathroom and grabbed her washcloth in order to wipe off the rest of her face wash.
"Humor me." He sounded tired, but she could hear the smile in his voice.
"I'm fine," she maintained. "I promise. I'm just a little bored."
"Do you still have tomorrow off?"
"As far as I know."
"Well, how about we hang out? I'll feed you and show you a good time, I swear."
Rachel laughed lightly. "I thought you had to work tomorrow, Mr. Hudson."
"It's nothing I can't get done in a few hours. Come on, you can meet me at the studio around noon and then we can go that that restaurant on Ninth," he suggested. "Please don't make me beg."
She considered it for a moment. There was just something in his voice that made all her previous reservations fly out the window. How was it that he made it so hard for her to stick to her guns?
"That sounds delightful," she replied, smiling widely.
"Awesome!" he laughed. "I can't wait! You're not going to regret it, Rachel, I promise."
Finn grinned to himself as he artfully arranged the pillows on the stage. Good ideas didn't come to him that often, but when they did, they were pretty awesome.
He had finished up his work early enough to concoct the brilliant plan that he was now setting into motion. Initially he had thought about calling to make a reservation so that he and Rachel could just walk into the restaurant and eat, but truth be told, he wanted to spend more time with her than that. So he called in their orders instead (he got a few things that he thought Rachel might like and the rest he would just have as leftovers) and paid Earl to shut the security cameras off in the studio. It's not like he was going to try and get into Rachel's pants or anything, he just didn't want to feel like Earl was watching them while they were having a rare quiet moment.
He knew it was going to look completely fishy, and he knew that the set up was more than a little cheesebucket, but he wanted to make Rachel feel special. After she had told him that her mother-in-law hadn't even invited her to join them on vacation, he had gotten the idea that no one had done anything nice for her in a long time. And of course, there was that kiss. He wasn't sure if it had been a kiss kiss or just a kiss kiss, but either way, he was more than willing to explore the possibilities.
"Um, Finn?"
He whipped around in surprise. "Rachel!" he cried, his voice an octave too high for his liking.
She walked forward, her arms crossed in front of her, and he couldn't help thinking how pretty she looked in her colorful sundress. "What's going on?"
Finn froze. He hadn't exactly thought of a good excuse for them not to have lunch at the restaurant. "Well… I… uh… surprise!" He held his arms open wide and motioned to the set up on the stage. "I thought that we could, you know, have a quiet lunch instead of going to a noisy restaurant."
"Oh."
Crap, did she sound disappointed?
"But, I ordered it in," he added quickly. "I got us some sandwiches and this tofu stuff and a burrito. I mean, I was kind of wanting to try the burrito myself, but you can totally have it if you want –"
"Thank you, Finn," she said softly. "I just didn't expect you to go to all this trouble."
"Nope, no trouble!" he insisted. He ran down and took her purse, trying to hide his surprise at how heavy the thing was. He set it on one of the empty seats and led her up to the stage.
"Oh! Watch this!" He ran down to a panel near the lifeless cameras and flipped a switch. He pointed to the backdrop behind Sam's desk – it was made to look like they were in a skyscraper overlooking the Hudson, the Statue of Liberty in the background. "Do you prefer sunset?" he asked, the backdrop changing accordingly. "Or maybe a nightscape?"
She giggled from her spot in the middle of the stage. "There is something whimsical about having lunch by moonlight."
"Great," he said, adding "whimsical" to his list of Rachel words to look up. He'd started it in high school, but it felt like he never was going to catch up.
She walked over to the piano where the band was set up in the corner. "May I?"
"Yeah, sure." He followed her to the instrument and sat down on the bench beside her when she looked up at him expectantly. "Want to see something else?"
She nodded and he made a show of cracking his fingers over the keyboard before starting a scale.
"Finn!" she laughed. "You learned how to play the piano?"
"Yup. I had to have three hours in a fine arts course, so I took three one-hour piano classes instead," he replied, moving on to the arpeggio. He missed a note and looked up at her in embarrassment, but she just smiled. "I'm a little out of practice."
"What else can you play?"
He grinned. "Oh, I have quite the diverse catalogue. Let's see… there's Beethoven." He played the opening chords to "Ode to Joy".
"Mozart," he said, switching to "Eine kleine Nachtmusik" and causing Rachel to laugh with delight. He thrilled at the sound of her laughter echoing throughout the empty studio and marveled at how it blended so perfectly with the music. For as long as he lived, Rachel would always be synonymous with music in his mind and it broke his heart that somewhere along the way she had lost her voice. Not like she couldn't talk, obviously, just that thing that had made her Rachel.
"Is that all?" she asked, trailing her fingers along the keys but not pushing down, like she had lost the ability to play.
"Oh, of course not! I haven't even broken out the big guns yet." At that, he began playing "Don't Stop Believing" with an exaggerated flourish, causing her to grab her sides and double over. "Pretty good, huh? I mean, I'm no Brad, but I can work my way around a keyboard alright."
"You play very well," she agreed. "I'm very proud of you, Finn. You've come a long way."
"Yeah," he scoffed, plucking absently at the keys. "A long way from the dumb jock you knew in high school."
She pulled her hands away from the piano and clasped them in her lap. "You know I never thought of you that way."
"No – I –" he stopped and sighed. "I know. You always believed in me even when there wasn't much to believe in."
She looked up at him in that fathomless way that used to make him squirm. "I wouldn't be where I am now if it wasn't for you," he continued. "You always expected more of me and then I started expecting more from myself."
Slowly, Rachel began to smile, a real, true smile. The smile that he had missed for eight years without realizing it. "Really, Rachel, you – your support, I mean – has always meant a lot to me. And I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate it… even if it's a million years too late."
"No," she murmured. "It's not too late."
Their gazes locked and just when Finn was about to throw caution to the wind and lean towards her, she stood and looked over at their takeout. "Shall we eat?"
He took a deep breath and tried to get his hormones in check. He was not a sixteen year old boy anymore, he told himself, he was a twenty-seven year old man and he could control himself.
"Finn, is everything alright?" He looked over at her and tried not to think about how the fake moonlight glowing behind made her look unreal, like an angel or a fairy or something. "I know you're hungry. You're always hungry."
"Uh, yeah, dig in."
She sat down on his makeshift picnic set up and arranged her dress around her before pulling the bag over. "Here's your burrito," she announced, handing it over to him as he joined her. Her eyes grew wide as she pulled out one of the sandwiches and she looked over at Finn in excitement. "Finn! Is this a Tuscan Portobello Sandwich?" she gasped.
"Yeah," he said as he unwrapped his burrito. "There should be some fries and garden greens or something in there too."
"Field greens?" she squealed, digging into the bag with renewed fervor. "And dessert? You have made my day."
At that he had to smile. She sounded genuinely happy and it was just rabbit food. Before she could open the container, he snatched it away from her and placed it to the side. "Nope," he admonished, "you have to earn dessert."
"What?" she asked. "You mean my years of continued support aren't enough?"
He looked over at her in shock and it took him a moment to realize that she was kidding. "Ha ha," he muttered and her laughter pealed around him like bells. (Christ, when did he get so corny?) "Oh! Before I forget, I was talking to Kurt and we're planning a karaoke night on Wednesday. You game?"
She looked a little uncertain for a moment and he knew she was about to beg off. "Well, I really do have work that day," she said. "But I get off at nine thirty."
"That's fine," he said, trying to sound cool about it. "We don't get started until nine at the earliest anyway. And it's a bar so we pretty much have all night."
"So," she took a bite and looked around the studio, "how did you land this job?"
He swallowed down a large bite of burrito and shrugged. "Well, first I got a summer internship with WOHN-TV, which really sucked, and then I got a job with the network in Chicago as a production assistant after graduation. I was there for a couple of years and then I heard that there was this talk show in New York looking for an associate producer so I applied and here I am."
"And… is that why you and Audra...?"
"No," he bit out. "No, we broke up before then."
Rachel turned red. "I'm sorry, the curiosity is killing me," she confessed.
"Well, I guess that's fair." He took another bite of his burrito and thought over how to put it without making himself sound like a douchebag. "It's really not that interesting of a story."
"I don't mind boring stories."
Finn leaned back on his hands. "We weren't really together all that long, we started dating a year before graduation. I didn't really know what I wanted to do, I just knew I didn't want to go back to Lima and Audra gave me an out. She was going to Chicago and asked me to move with her. I did it." He paused and gauged Rachel's reaction. She seemed alright, so he continued cautiously, "It was great for a while. We got an apartment, we got Tank, but after a few months she started dropping hints."
"Hints?" Rachel asked. She tore off a piece of her sandwich and popped it into her mouth while eyeing him curiously.
"Yeah, like 'Do you prefer small weddings?' and 'Wouldn't a backyard for Tank be great?' and stuff like that. And it kind of freaked me out. I loved Audra, I really did, but I didn't like feeling like I had to settle down with her just because that was the next step. Does that make sense?"
"I don't know," she said honestly. "To tell you the truth, I probably would have been the same way." She giggled softly. "Probably just not as subtly."
"I know, but that's different. We would have been together for forever at that point," he insisted. "I felt like I was backed into a corner and I didn't want to get caught in the same situation that I had been with Quinn. I mean, I mostly stayed with her because I had to. I didn't want to start a life and get married to someone when I wasn't sure what I wanted. Audra was seeing a house with a white picket fence and kids and a dog and I was still trying to figure out what I was doing with my life.
"Anyway, long story short, she kicked me out after a few months and I stayed in Chicago for another year and a half before landing the New York gig. I think we're both happier now. At least, I hope so. I know I am." He picked his burrito back up and picked at it half-heartedly. He didn't say how he never completely lost himself in Audra or that while she was a great girl, there just was something missing in her. A lack of presence, a force of life – he didn't know. It just wasn't right.
Rachel finished off her sandwich and absently worried her bottom lip with her teeth. "You're right," she finally said. "That really was a boring story. Maybe next time you can make something up."
Finn laughed. "I guess it's not as dramatic as 'she cheated on me with my best friend, got knocked up, and tried to convince me it was mine even though we never even had sex,' huh?"
"Nope. It doesn't even beat 'she dumped me in a bout of self-pity, told me we were taking a break, and then got married six months later to someone else.'"
"Or 'he was the star of our rival glee club, transferred to our school, and then egged me in front of all of his friends,'" he contributed.
She rolled her eyes. "And the winner: 'he died and left me broke with two little boys to raise alone.' That one's just sad."
"Yeah, but at least you didn't get dumped," Finn joked. Rachel looked at him suddenly, her eyes big, and he felt the blood drain from his face. "Crap, Rachel, I'm sorry. I didn't mean –" he began, but he was abruptly cut off by her snort of laughter. She was laughing so hard that he couldn't help but join her after a moment.
"Please tell me that at least earns me a dessert," she wheezed, wiping the tears out of her eyes.
"Sorry, a dead husband doesn't exempt you from singing for your dessert." He reached behind him and pulled out the container. He was glad they could laugh and not be so uptight about David. Sure, it was a little morbid, but it meant that Rachel was moving on.
"I have to sing for it?" she asked incredulously.
"Sure. I mean, it's been a while since I've heard you and when was the last time you got to perform on a stage?"
"I don't know, Finn. I haven't properly warmed up and we don't have any music."
"Please, I've heard you belt things out a capella before! And this just isn't any dessert. It's a vegan chocolate cheesecake." He slowly opened the container to reveal a perfectly cut piece of cheesecake with fresh strawberries on top. "I don't know what they did to make it vegan, but just between you and me," he waved it under her nose, "it looks delicious."
Rachel leaned over and closed her eyes as she inhaled deeply. Finn had to remind himself to be cool and fought the urge to kiss her.
"It does look good," she murmured longingly.
"That's what I thought!" He stood and pulled her up along with him. He grabbed the cheesecake for good measure and made his way to a seat in the audience. "Whenever you're ready!" he called.
"But I don't even know what you want me to sing," she protested.
"Whatever you want. Surprise me."
"Finn," she said, stomping a foot and crossing her arms in front of her, "this is juvenile and ridiculous."
"You know, Rach, if you don't quit your yapping, I'm going to have to eat this thing all by myself." He stuck his tongue out and acted like he was going to lick the slice along the top.
"Puh-lease, Finn! I'm raising two boys; you're deluded if you think a little slobber is going to stop me from eating that."
"Sing!" he demanded, looking over his shoulder like he was garnering support from an invisible audience. "Sing, sing, sing, sing!" He stomped his foot with the beat and mimicked the sound of a crowd roaring.
"Fine! I do have a song in my repertoire that I can do easily without an accompaniment."
"We're waiting!"
Rachel took a deep breath. "I present to you 'You Must Love Me', originally performed by Madonna in the film version of Andrew Lloyd Webber's Evita."
She spared one last glare at Finn before softly beginning the song.
"Where do we go from here?
This isn't where we intended to be
We had it all, you believed in me
I believed in you."
Finn listened, his mouth hanging open. How was it possible for her voice to have this kind of effect on him still?
"Certainties disappear
What do we do for our dream to survive?
How do we keep all our passions alive
As we used to do?
"Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
You must love me"
He gulped as she finished the first refrain. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest; he had to wonder if she could hear it up on the stage.
"Why are you at my side?
How can I be any use to you now?
Give me a chance and I'll let you see how
Nothing has changed.
"Deep in my heart I'm concealing
Things that I'm longing to say
Scared to confess what I'm feeling
Frightened you'll slip away
You must love me
You must love me.
"You must love me."
Finn looked at her in silence, overwhelmed by the strength of her performance. She sang it so real and so broken; he had to wonder who she was singing it for. He felt a pang of jealously as he thought about her singing this way for David. Sure, the guy had been her husband, but he hoped that there was something that still belonged to just him and her.
"Well, what did you think?" She stood in the center of the stage and fidgeted with the hem of her dress. She was so much like the Rachel he knew in high school, and so… not. His Rachel would never fidget.
"That was amazing, Rach." He set the dessert down in his lap and began clapping enthusiastically. Slowly he made his way back to the stage and surrendered her cheesecake. "See, you've still got it."
She looked at him archly as she settled back down on the pallet. "Did you ever doubt it?"
"N-no!" he sputtered. "I just didn't know if you had kept up with your singing or if you had quit all together. I… I'm just going to stop talking now."
"That's probably a good idea." She plucked a strawberry off of the top of the cheesecake and placed it on her tongue with a saucy little smile. "Where's your dessert?"
He pulled two plastic forks out from the bag and handed her one. "I never said that you got to eat the entire thing yourself."
"You mean I had to compete for a dessert that I have to share? How is that fair?" she exclaimed. "I should make you sing for that, Finn Hudson… and dance!"
"No way! Besides, I boughtit." He reached over and dug his fork into the cheesecake. "Yum!" he said over the mouthful in his mouth.
"You are a mess," Rachel giggled. She lifted her hand and wiped away the chocolate that he had smudged at the corner of his mouth with her thumb.
He froze, a moment of déjà blue or view or whatever sweeping over him. Sure, the tables were turned, but his heart was pounding and he was pretty sure that he had the same surprised look on his face that she did on hers. He wasn't a kid anymore though, and he didn't wait for permission this time. He leaned over and captured her mouth with his.
He halfway expected her to fight him, but her lips were immediately soft and pliant and, in fact, she pulled him down with her. He grunted in surprise before shifting himself to rest between her legs more comfortably. Her mouth opened to his, and he reveled in the taste of the bittersweet chocolate on her tongue. Vaguely he felt her fingers slowly slide down his back and up his shirt. He lowered his hands to her hips and squeezed lightly when she moved against him.
God he'd missed this! He knew that that kiss on Saturday night was something.
He was so caught up in the thrill of holding Rachel in his arms again, that he didn't realize when the nature of their kiss changed. Suddenly her arms went slack and she pressed her lips closed against his. He pulled back in a haze and looked at her questioningly, only to be pushed away the moment he let any space between their bodies.
"No, no, no, no," she said lowly. She frantically straightened her dress and wiped at her mouth like she tasted something awful before jumping up. "I-I can't do this."
She looked down at Finn, her expression unreadable. "It's too – I'm sorry, Finn." With that she turned on her heel and ran from the studio, pausing only to grab her purse.
And all he could do was sit there and stare speechlessly after her.
What the hell had just happened? He sat frozen like that until he heard a shuffling in the hallway. She was coming back!
"Can I switch the cameras back on now, Mr. Hudson?" Earl asked, poking his head into the studio. "Now that your lady friend is gone, I mean."
Finn just flung himself down on the pillows and stared up at the ceiling. "Damn," he cursed, the word bouncing around in the empty room.
"You Must Love Me" originally appeared on the 1996 album, Evita: The Complete Motion Picture Music Soundtrack. Song written by and copyrighted to Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber.
Author's Note: Don't worry; we've got some good stuff coming up! We're about halfway through and I still have a few things in store for our favorite couple. I did notice that I had my year/dates off; I try to be very careful about those things because I'm anal about continuity, but apparently I'm incapable of doing simple math, so I'll be updating some of the previous chapters. Finn and Rachel broke up at the very end of 2012/beginning of 2013, so it's been about eight years since the last time they've seen each other at this point. They're twenty-seven at this point of the story.
Also, I want to take a moment and thank everyone who has read and reviewed A Tempo! It's always a treat when I log in to see new reviews and alerts in my Inbox. Please continue to share the love!
Disclaimer: Glee is the property of Ryan Murphy and FOX. I'm just manipulating it for my own nefarious (and strictly nonprofit) purposes.