a/n: This chapter's a little darker than usual, and deals with more adult themes.

Just a warning: language/drugs/death…

Peter and Sirius sat an anonymous pub in some dingy part of London. Peter glanced around anxiously not at all sure where they were, while Sirius smiled to the bartender and ordered his 'usual'.

"Sirius, is it safe to be here, in the open…?"

Sirius gave the smaller man a wolfish grin, "Safe as anywhere, I reckon."

Peter tried to stifle a shudder, he pointed at the shot, "What is that?"

"It's called liquid cocaine." Sirius tapped the bar with the glass and threw the shot down his throat. He licked his lips and ordered another.

"Cocaine?"

"It's a muggle thing," he said. The bartender came back with Sirius's shot and inclined his head at Peter.

"A whiskey."

Sirius nodded his approval, and Peter couldn't help but smile at the praise.

"So what do we drink to?"

"We ain't dead yet." Sirius barked his laughter; Peter didn't smile but dutifully drank his whiskey. "Aww cheer up Wormtail, we haven't lost anyone this week." Peter swallowed heavily and rubbed his sweaty palms on his pants. Sirius didn't seem to notice and ordered another round.

"Aren't we going to wait for James and Remus?"

Sirius quirked an eyebrow at Peter, "I am waiting for them."

"I mean—with the drinks and everything—I thought that Moody wanted us to you know remain constantly—"

"Vigiliant?" Sirius laughed, "Have you seen Moody's face? If that's what vigilance gets you, I'm getting another drink."

Five shots later Sirius's good humor was ebbing low. He'd put some muggle money in the music player in the corner and then enchanted the thing to play some depressing muggle blues on repeat. The bartender had been trying to fix it for the better part of an hour, while Peter watched in a weird sort of horrible fascination as Sirius became unglued.

"It's not like we didn't know what we were signing up for, but I mean the Amegehettie twins were school mates you know? I really liked 'em, and it just seems so fucking wasteful…"

"Didn't you date Kristine our sixth year?"

"Yeah," Sirius traced his finger around the edge of his glass, "She had a real nice way of scratching my head, you know, all bloody slow and nice."

"Didn't her brother Tony break your nose?"

"Yeah, I was screwing his sister, it was cool, you know. And then when we all got in the Order, that stuff didn't matter."

"He broke your nose a month ago."

"Merlin's beard Pete, I was screwing the guy's sister."

"IN sixth year."

Sirius shrugged his shoulders.

"Last month too?"

"It's a war, Wormtail. People drink more, people make decisions that they wouldn't normally if they thought they'd live another six months—"

"You don't think you'll live another six months?" Peter almost turned green at the thought; he gulped down the last of his drink. Sirius shrugged.

"Doesn't matter much either way."

"Sirius, what are you talking about?"

"Oh grow up Peter. People are dying, good people are being blown up, or ripped apart, or lost, or worse." Sirius's face grew savage, "People we know, Peter, people we love."

Peter leaned away from Sirius suddenly very frightened of his friend, "You think—you think we might not win this?" Peter licked his lips, "You think we might not win the War?"

"We are going to lose Pete,"

"What?"

Sirius examined his empty glass like a crystal ball, holding it up to the light and turning it gently in his hand. He applied a steady amount of pressure, and watched as the glass cracked, and then shattered. "It's inevitable," he said fixing the glass with a quick charm, "There's too many of 'em, too few of us, the Ministry is no bleeding help—we're just stalling for time."

"Sirius do you really think that?"

"Sometimes."

Peter licked his lips, "Well what should we do?"

"Do?" Sirius laughed, "There's nothing we can do mate, just gotta keep fighting. Go out with a bang, Merlin knows that I want to take that bitch Bella with me when I go, or Malfoy." Sirius's lips curled into a snarl over the name. "Or Regulus."

There was no blood left in Peter's face, his hands gripped the bar convulsively, "You'd kill your own brother, Sirius? Your own brother?"

"In a heart beat, if he came after you, James, or Remus, or anyone in the Order really."

"You…you think he would…?"

Sirius shrugged, "I'm not worried about Regulus, he knows what would happen to him if he tried—I've always been a better caster. I'm not worried about Regulus."

"Oh…" Peter seemed to breathe again.

"I'm worried about Snivelus." Sirius growled.

Peter shook his head. "Snape? Why Snape?"

"Remember the torch he carried for Lils? All those years? When he finds out that Lily got herself knocked up I expect he'll be pretty pissed. Murderous even…"

"Murderous?"

"And he has no reason to spare any of us, anyway, the way we got after him in school, not that he didn't deserve it, the spooky tosser." Sirius called for another round. "I hear he's a real maniac too, comes up with the kind of spell that you get the dementor's kiss for, no trial or anything."

"Shut it, Sirius, even Death Eaters get a trial."

"Well he shouldn't, and he won't give us one after all those years of being a blighter, and he knows we work for the Order anyway."

"Yeah…" Peter fingered the lapel of his coat, and scratched his nose. "Spooky blighter…you think he'll come for Lily?"

"Torch like that? Only a matter of time."

"What's only a matter of time?" Both men turned to see James and Remus appear in the doorway. Sirius jumped off his seat and hugged them both. "Merlin's beard gents, I was getting a little bit concerned."

"For us?"

"Hardly…more concerned about who'll buy you another drink."

Sirius laughed, "How well you know me, Moony. A wiser Gryffindor there never was."

"Flattery will not get you another drink." Remus said.

"Cheap bastard."

Remus smiled, "That's more like it."

James clapped Peter on the shoulder, "How's it going Wormtail?" Peter tried to smile, but there was a sheen of sweat on his face and it was clear he was nervous and upset. "Peter?"

The smaller man shook his head, and patted James's arm. "It's nothing James, we were just talking about the Amegehettie twins, old times and stuff."

A shadow passed over James face at the mention of their comrades, he sat down next to Peter, and ordered a beer.

"How's Lily?"

James smiled, "Crazy…"

"I can't wait till she gets fat." Sirius said slamming himself into the stool next to James.

"She's not getting fat, she's pregnant, you wanker."

"I just call 'em like I see 'em."

"Sod off."

Remus sat next to Peter, "Don't you have a thing for fat chicks, Sirius? What did they call you—"

James, Remus and Peter all smiled and said at once, "CHUBBY-CHASER!"

"It was one time!"