Meanwhile...

Yagami Raito and Takada Kiyomi strode across the college campus together, an obvious couple to any onlooker, but without being TOO obvious. More like...they respected each others' boundaries to the point that holding hands was absolutely not an option. 'Personal Space', but taken to the next level. For Raito it was the ideal situation, since he personally did not want to become very involved with Takada-san. He had much bigger problems to worry about, especially with the discovery of the second Kira's identity. Amane Misa was, to him, less of a mixed blessing and more of how an optimist would view a curse ("Oh, surely something good will come of it! Stay positive!"). She was relentless in her pursuit of getting his attention, something which drove Raito nuts. Nevertheless, with her help he would soon have the famed L dead at his feet, and the entire world would be brought to its knees, at the mercy of the god named Kira.

At that moment, Takada tapped Raito on his shoulder, dragging him out of his ego-gasm-tastic fantasy-land and quite blatantly having forgotten the 'no-touching-whatsoever-rule'. A little irked, he turned towards her. Don't get upset, she IS a woman after all..."What is it?"

Takada pointed towards one of the windows of the rec center. She looked puzzled.

"Raito...What exactly is that?" Humoring her, he looked up towards the third floor of the rec center, and discovered the reason for her unprecedented shoulder-tap. There, idling there like nobodies business, was a jellyfish. It didn't appear as if anybody else had noticed the royal blue cnidarian chillin' up there, but then most people were too busy trying to get to their next class before the professor said something of the utmost importance which would be on the final exam and worth 90% of their grade.

"...I think it's a jellyfish..."

Now Raito had seen some pretty weird shit in his life. The Death Note, and his 'pet Shinigami' Ryuuku were proof enough of that. But this was completely unexpected. While Raito was neither shocked nor horrified ("OMG! A JELLYFISH! RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE!"), he did not know what to make of it. His first reaction, being the overly paranoid person he was, immediately thought it must be part of L's plan to reveal that he was indeed Kira. But, being the brilliant and dashingly handsome young man he was, Raito thought better of it. How would a jellyfish be useful in any way for this sort of thing? Maybe it's a disguised camera... This too proved to be too far-fetched and retarded of an explanation. A camera disguised as a jellyfish is about as obvious as a black man at a Ku Klux Klan convention, and just as stupid if not more so as a comb that untangles all your hair AT ONCE (or a device created for the sole purpose of keeping ramen noodles from flying onto your nice clean shirt, which, by the way, looks like a human version of the cone dogs wear after a visit to the veterinarian...).

"It's probably nothing Takada-san. Don't get so worried about things that don't matter."

"I wasn't worried, it just caught my attention."

"Well, it's not a danger to us."

Raito would very soon afterwards be forced to eat those words, for just moments after he spoke, the singular jellyfish disappeared behind the building, only to reappear with a whole spineless army of jellies! Now Raito was horrified.

The 'Commander' jellyfish waved its tentacles about, and like some epic scene from The Matrix, the entire swarm poured down in a single column and towards the couple. For fear of his own life, Raito shrieked and knocked Takada down as he ran the opposite direction of the advancing jellyfish army. He had barely made it past the tennis court when he lost his footing and stumbled to the ground. As his life flashed before his eyes, he realized something. Where the fuck is Ryuuku? For some reason, he hadn't seen him after class, or right before the jellyfish began attacking him. Speaking of which, the jellies fell upon Raito and immediately incapacitated him by means of binding his arms and legs with their tentacles. For some reason, the tentacles did not sting him, something which did not in the slightest make him feel any better about the situation. He was hoisted off the ground and carried off to parts unknown, which ended up being the roof of a very tall building downtown. Still bound, Raito has dragged to the floor, where he witnessed the mass of jellyfish parting to make way for what may have been the most spiritually enlightening experience in his young life, despite being scared enough to pee his pants. With the sun shining behind it in all its majesty, a rainbow jellyfish floated through the crowds of its lesser brethren towards the terrified and awed mass-murderer. It sat motionless several feet in front of Raito for a few moments, and then flew at his face and attacked him. Following suit, the other jellyfish did the same thing. Raito had never thought it would end like this...

"Okaa-san, did you hear something?"

"No Sayu, it was probably the wind."

"Oh. I could have sworn it sounded like Onii-chan being attacked by a swarm of jellyfish."

"...What...?"

This pretty much guarantees my spot in Hell. But that's ok, because my friend Kellee is driving the bus to Hell, and he's picking up everyone else along the way. We'll sing songs, play road-trip games, and make perverted jokes until we reach the Gates Of Hell. We'll be welcomed in by the Devil himself.

And then a few hours later Satan will be scared shitless of me and Kellee, and demand we leave. No, he'll be too scared to do that, so he'll just leave on his own and hitchhike to Mexico or something. Then me and Kellee will have total reign over Hell! BUAHAHAHAHA!

Are you terrified yet? Because you should be. To quote from Dane Cook, "You really are out of your fucking mind!". And ain't it the truth. If me and that rabbit thing from Donnie Darko fornicated, this would be the poor, demented child.

Anyways...

I'm actually re-reading the entire Death Note manga so I can remember the order of events and the names of characters in the story(I'm terrible with names). This chapter hopefully gives you all an idea of when this is supposed to take place (right after Raito and Misa meet for those of you who didn't catch that). Oh, and because I've never watched the dubbed anime of Death Note, I keep the names of all the characters in Japanese, and place the family name before the first name. It's how I roll.

C. Vincenti