Kowalski's Corner
Disclaimer: I don't known Star Trek. Obviously. Lt. Brenda Kwan is mine.
Author's Note: Sorry I took so long to update this, folks! I was on vacation. But now I'm back! Enjoy the new chapter!
Kowalski's Corner
Kowalski's Corner is the official blog of Lt. Kevin Kowalski.
June 13, 2358
Hello, readers!
Sorry I took so long to write another entry. I've been a very busy man. I've been working on my new invention like crazy. As well as putting some finishing touches on it. Somebody in the Astrophysics lab suggested it be called...
...
...drumroll please...
...
...The Holodeck. I figured that that name was as good as any other. And Lt. O' Malley didn't suggest it, so it was especially good. God knows what she would've called it.
I put out a general notice to everyone on the ship to try it for its big debut. And boy, did I get a response. Pretty much everyone who came loved it. I even got some of the senior staff to come. Captain Kirk gave me a commendation for it. He said I should show my invention to Starfleet Command if the Enterprise ever comes back to Earth. The captain also said that he'll show it to Admiral Pike on his next visit.
How does the Holodeck work, you ask? Well, I don't want to get too technical, but it basically involves the manipulation of holograms and forcefields to create realistic-looking environments. Everyone should give it a shot! The imagination is the limit. You should see Scotty's simulation. Sandwiches. So Many. Sandwiches.
I thought I would take this opportunity to talk about a couple friends of mine. I talked about my rival, Lt. Meg O' Malley, and now I want to talk about my best friend, Lt. John Cronin.
He's one of the science guys on the ship. He and I met when we were freshmen at Starfleet Academy. It was an interesting day. I was sitting on one of those grassy areas of the campus, playing my guitar. I found myself playing the first riff I ever learned: Deep Purple's "Smoke on the Water". All of a sudden, I found myself being joined by someone singing the lyrics. It was this tall lanky bald black guy who started to sing and play a drum to the lyrics. The little impromptu performance attracted a small crowd. And they loved it.
John and I became like like brothers during our time at the Academy. We both had a love of rock music and science and he became my protege and occasional accomplice in pranking. He and I masterminded the legendary Polka-Dotted Horse Prank. Although the fireworks blowing up the upperclassmen's quarters were not an intentional effect of the prank, it was still hilarious. When we weren't studying for classes, we were enjoying drinks at a local bar (He liked his Bud Classic, I always drink Diet Coke. I don't drink alcohol), where he picked up girls, and I played pinball. I tell you, John had an encyclopedic knowledge of pick-up lines. He would flirt with any pretty girl he saw.
Also, during my time at the Academy, I met a girl who now works in the Astrophysics lab. Brenda Kwan. Oh, man, I have such a major crush on her. She is one gorgeous lieutenant, deep brown eyes, long straight jet black hair, and great curves. And the best part, she doesn't respond to the Captain's pick-up lines. Mostly because she threatens to report him.
I tried to ask her out on a date last week, but somebody put a camera in the flowers I gave her, and the camera peeked on her in the shower. She thought I put it in the bouquet, and she clobbered me for it. I got a pretty good idea who really did. And boy, am I going to get her back. Just biding my time...I have a very special simulation for her...
Anyway, I have to cut this short, unfortunately. The Enterprise got a gift of a couple pinball machines, and I have to help hook them up in the lounge.
COMMENTS:
(Subj: I saw that.)
Oh yeah, I saw that performance. Somebody filmed it and showed it to me. It sucked.
- Meg O'Malley
--
(Subj: RE: I saw that.)
300 other people would disagree with you, Meg. And I am truly sorry about that orange soda prank. I couldn't shore up enough vodka for it, so I had to use what was at hand.
- Lt. Kowalski
--
(Subj: Request)
I took a run in that Holodeck thing. It's amazing. I gotta get Admiral Pike to see it.
Lieutenant, I have a request for you. It's not an order, but you're perfectly welcome to think of it as one.
...could you rig me up a popcorn popper for my chair on the bridge? I'd ask Scotty, but he might put a sandwich maker in instead.
- Captain Kirk.
--
(Subj: RE: Request)
Sure thing, sir. I think I can whip something like that up.
- Lt. Kowalski
--
(Subj: Holodeck review)
That holodeck thing is incredible. I had it simulate the Amazon rainforest, and it is...I can't describe it! I felt like I was actually there!
- Lt. Uhura
--
(Subj: RE: Holodeck review)
Thanks, Lieutenant! I really appreciate the positive review! Everybody loves it so far!
- Lt. Kowalski
--
(Subj: Adequate)
The holodeck did a commendable job.
- Spock
--
(Subj: RE: Adequate)
He used it to make a simulation of Vulcan. I think he nearly shed a tear.
- Uhura
--
(Subj: RE: Re: Adequate)
Yeah, we all are still a little freaked out about what happened to Vulcan. Yeah...it's hard to talk about.
- Lt. Kowalski
--
(Subj: What?!)
You mean that wasn't you?
- Lt. Brenda Kwan
--
(Subj: RE: What?!)
No, duh. We kept trying to tell you, but you were too angry. Even SULU tried to tell you!
- Lt. John Cronin
--
(Subj: RE: Re: What?!)
My head starts hurting whenever I think about it.
- Lt. Sulu
--
(Subj: RE: Re: Re: What?!)
And it's pretty obvious who did, Brenda. Three words: Irish. Red. Head.
- Lt. Kevin Kowalski
--
(Subj: She's dead)
O'MALLEY! YOUR ASS IS TOAST!
- Lt. Brenda Kwan
--
(Subj: RE: She's dead)
Aw yeah, catfight!
- Lt. John Cronin
--
(Subj: RE: Re: She's dead)
Promotion to the first person who tapes it!
- Captain Kirk.
--
(Subj: Oh God)
PLEASE don't fight in my sickbay! Last time a brawl erupted in sickbay, several beds were wrecked!
- Dr. McCoy
--
(Subj: RE: Oh God)
Hey, she started it! And Kowalski, I will get you back for that orange soda prank!
- Meg O'Malley
--
(Subj: RE: Re: Oh God)
Bring it on, O'Malley. You don't scare me.
- Lt. Kevin Kowalski.