The way to your heart Ch.15
Deidara's mind was beyond forming words, he couldn't believe that Konan was making him do this. It was beyond cruelty saved for only those who were sent to the deepest pits of hell once they'd met their demise.
"Alright ma'am I'm done, your hair looks absolutely beautiful." The hairdresser said a cheery smile on her face as she fluffed Deidara's new curls.
"Thank you, un." Deidara said standing up. He didn't even bother to correct the woman about his gender, it was bad enough that Konan had made him come to a saloon into order to prepare for the 'mission'. Yep he was actually going to do it, he was going to go under cover as an exotic dancer or in other words a…stripper, ugh he shivered at the thought. He still couldn't believe that Konan had managed to get him to agree to this.
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(YAY! Flash back time!)
"'Pole Cat?' Are you kidding me, un? That's a strip club!" The blonde did not like where this was going.
"Exactly, Deidara in 2 days time you're to go under cover as an exotic dancer."
"Could you please repeat that, un?" There was no way he heard the woman correctly.
"Deidara in 48 hours you're going under cover as an exotic dancer."
*pause* 3….2…..1….."Absolutely not!" There was no way in hell he was going to do something like that.
"Sorry Deidara but this is a direct order you don't have choice." Deidara couldn't believe it, she wasn't kidding! She really expected him to go under cover as a….a….a stripper!
"No offence Chief Konan but you seem to have over looked something very important." Deidara growled.
"Hmm, what's that?" Konan asked confused.
"How about the fact that I'm a guy!" Deidara was so mad he left out the 'un'.
"Oh I'm well aware of that and I know a way we can fix it."
Deidara almost didn't ask. "…What?"
Konan smiled evilly. "Three words…tuck and tap."
Deidara's mind went blank she expected him to…his head slumped forward hiding his face behind his hair. "I'm sorry Chief Konan but I can't accept this order, I refuse, do what you want to me but I'm not doing this I just won't."
"Well I'm very sorry you feel that way." Konan's voice was light, Deidara's head shot up in surprise he'd expected her to yell at him but right now she just seemed…happy?
"Why, un?" Deidara's stomach twisted this was way too easy.
"Well you see you're the only one qualified for this type of job, it has to be someone who's strong but feminine, I can't do it because I have to lead this mission and I can't do that if I have to focus on not revealing who I am to the suspect, and seeing as you're the only other one who fits that description you are the best choice. But if you really refuse to do this than I guess I'll just have to go with plan B."
"What's plan B, un?"
"Oh it's quite simple really I'll just have to send someone else but not as a stripper no that wouldn't be as effective as if it were you. What will have to happen is someone will wait for the suspect to arrive and then simply take them off to the side and talk to them."
Deidara could tell there was more to it than that. "What are the risks, un?" the blonde said getting right to the point.
Konan tilted her head back, putting a finger to her lips a thoughtful look on her face. "Risks? Hmm well let's see, we have strong reason to believe this person is heavily armed and dangerous, if you're replacement were to be revealed as a cop then they could very well be killed or seriously maimed." She smiled, acting all cherry as if they were at some sort of garden party. "But don't worry I'm sure Sasori will be fine."
"Danna! Why would you send him?" his heart was beating a mile a minute at the thought of the red head in such danger.
"Oh there's really no need to worry he's been in tougher situations besides he volunteered, he said that if you refused then he would gladly accept taking over plan B."
"Does he know the risks, un?" Deidara said standing up, putting both hands on the desk as he leaned towards his blue haired boss.
"Of course, he knows full well that he could be killed but he didn't want you to feel pressured, he didn't want you thinking that your role was the only way this could be done. He wanted you to know you have options."
"And you agreed, un?"
"Well yes I couldn't turn him down when his request may very well be the only way to finishing this mission."
"I'll do it."
"Hmm what's that?" Konan asked the shadow of a smile on her face.
The blondes voice was light, almost a whisper "I said I'll do it, un, just don't send Sasori Danna on a potential suicide mission, please."
"Excellent!" Konan cheered clapping her hands together. "We'll begin preparation at once, first we'll get you fitted for you outfit and then we'll take you to get your hair done, oh it might be a good idea for you to shave you legs, can't have you all hairy when your climbing all over the suspect."
"Wait! What? Climbing!"
"Of course you're going to have be alone with the suspect and the only way to do that is to offer a personal lap dance."
"Ok but do I actually have to do it, un? Can't I just take him into a private room and tie the little sucker up?"
"Tie him up? Rather kinky but yes that does seem like a good idea, should things go wrong he won't be able to escape before back up can arrive."
"I didn't mean that literally, un." The blonde sighed in defeat she was really going to go through with this.
"Well now you are, that's actually a very good idea, it will be safer for you and your partners."
"Partner(s), un? You mean someone else is going to be there with me?"
"Of course you didn't think we would've sent you in without backup did you? They'll be part of the audience blending in so as to keep a better eye on things."
"Who is it, un?"
"Well let's see, you'll be needing people who you work well with, hmmm….I'll send Hidan, and…Sasori. Of course the rest of the team will be there but those 2 are the only one's who'll be inside with you." Deidara hadn't even heard that last part the second she said the red heads name his legs gave out sending him back wards into his chair.
"Sasori Danna is going to be there as I'm dressed as a stripper, un?" The blonde said lacing his finger into his hair as a major headache threatened to make an appearance.
"Well yes of course, he's your partner, someone you work well with so he's a natural choice."
Deidara frowned, he was sooo going to get her back for this.
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The blonde was still thinking of ways to get the blue haired woman back, even as he walked into the front waiting room of the salon and saw her sitting there a big grin plastered on her face he couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he poured yellow hair dye into her shampoo. They had a small locker room back at the station where they could clean themselves up after a long day of patrol, it was only a matter of cracking the combination on her locker.
"Oh Dei you look so pretty!" She squealed marveling at the long golden curls.
"Thanks can we go now, un?" The blonde grumbled.
"Of course we just have to make one small step by the station to pick up your clothes and then it's off to the club."
"Whoopee, un." The blonde said rolling his eyes. The past two days Deidara had done nothing but prepare of the mission. Every second he was either stretching or practicing moves. They put a freaking pole in the training room and brought in a professional dancer all to make sure he was ready in time. It's a good thing that he already had really good upper body strength he couldn't believe how sore his arms were the women (or men) who do this for a living must be freaking strong!
"Ok Deidara we're here." Konan sand pulling into the stations parking lot. The entire time Deidara had been miserable about playing a stripper Konan had been nothing but sunshine and rainbows, any respect the blonde had for the woman was now officially gone.
Zetsu was waiting for them when they walked through the front door, Deidara owed the green haired man big time. He'd been a real help with the blondes self confidence, he'd taken time out of his vacation to give him tips on how to maintain character, telling him that even if he thought the mission was going nowhere he just had to push forward and keep at it. He even went as far as telling Deidara some of his more embarrassing undercover missions. Deidara was in tears the whole time Zetsu was telling him about when he'd gone undercover in a nudist's colony where it was crucial he blend in, so to hide his black and white skin he wore a very strong concealer…and nothing else. XD
"Ok Deidara just remember what I told you, stay focused don't look at the other faces in the audience, find the target and keep your eyes on him. Your goal is to get him alone and to do that you're going to have to show interest, try to get a little flirty and if it turns out that this guys is a handys perv then…all I can say is act like you like it. You're outfit comes with equipment to restrain him and the second you do start trying to get information out of him."
"Alright ,un." Deidara sighed he headed straight into his office prying Sasori wasn't there. Deidara looked around the corner letting out a sigh of relief the room was empty. He walked over to his desk and grabbed his back pack, inside was his…outfit.
"So Deidara before you go I have one last thing for you." Konan said a small shoes sized box in her hands.
"What, un." Deidara was tired of her little surprises, first was the outfit, second was the pole dancing lessons, and then third was the trip to the salon. He really didn't know how much more he could take.
"It's very simple, they're just something to help complete the outfit."
"Fine just give it to me, un." Deidara said holding out his hand. He opened the lid, and immediately closed it. "Really?"
"Yep, it will make everything more….convincing." Konan smiled.
"…Fine." With a sigh and a frown Deidara shoved the box inside his back pack there was no point arguing with the woman he'd never win.
"Actually it would be better if you were to put it on before you left."
"Isn't it bad enough that I'll be wearing it later do I have to put it on right now, un?"
"Yep."
"Damn, ok but get out first." Deidara said ushering the woman out and closing the door behind her.
Several minutes later the door reopened. "Well did you…put…it…on. Wow their bigger than I thought."
"Hey Dei are you ready to go Sasori is throwing a Jashin damned fit about being kept…waiting….holy shit!"
"Thanks Hidan, un." Deidara frowned crossing his arms over his newly formed chest. Yes Konan did indeed give Deidara fake boobs, and they shaped nicely though the black t-shirt he was wearing.
"Damn Deidara you finally look like a girl with a chest now." Hidan laughed. "Ow! Geez you didn't have to hit so hard." Hidan whined rubbing his shoulder where'd Konan had hit him.
"For the last freaking time its 'Chief' Konan, now hurry up and get your butt in the car you said Sasori is waiting well get moving!"
"Yes ma'am!" Hidan saluted. He walked over to the door where he then turned around a big grin on his face. "Ladies first." He said with a bow.
"Hidan shut up, un." Deidara growled walking out into the hall.
"Oh I'm sorry Miss. Iwa I didn't mean to offend you."
"You're pushing your luck, un."
"Fine fine, I was only kidding there's no need to get you panties in a knot or have you put those on yet?"
"THAT'S IT!" Deidara ran after the laughing zealot fully prepared to beat the crap out of him. Hidan ran out of the building not paying attention to where he was going until it was too late, his foot stepped in a pot hole causing him to fall face first. Seconds later Deidara followed not having enough time to react and get out of the way. Deidara landed right on top of Hidan with a loud 'oaf'.
"You alright?" Hidan mumbled looking up at the groaning blonde.
"Yeah, un what about you?" Deidara said sitting up and dusting himself off.
"I'm fine I think there was just enough cushion in your shirt to soften the blow."
"Hidan I swear I'm gonna-"
An intimidating shadow fell over the two. "Is there something I can help you with?" Sasori said his arms crossed and a scowl on his face.
"No!" Deidara said quickly. "No, Hidan just tripped and I didn't see so I fell to but we're both ok."
"Yeah Deidara's extra padding save us." Said blonde gave the silver haired man a light punch on the shoulder. "Ow!" Well he thought it was light.
"Enough with the goofing off it's time to go we have to arrive first and set up then when the others come to survey the outside everything thing will be ready."
"Alright alright we're moving, we're moving I swear even Jashin himself would have more patience than you I bet-" Hidan walked in the direction of the car seeming unaware that no one was really paying attention to him.
"You sure you're alright, we can't have you getting injured before the mission." Sasori said raising one eyebrow at the blonde's appearance but said nothing. Deidara still blushed involuntarily.
"Yeah, I'm fine un let just go." Deidara said walking over to the car and getting in the front passenger's seat. They were taking Sasori's unmarked car because it was the only car other than the cruisers available.
"Would you mind rolling up your window, the wind is messing up my hair."
In the back seat Hidan let out a loud chorus of laughter. Sasori scoffed but did as asked. "You look fine brat." Deidara looked at him with a confused face, Sasori then realized just exactly what he'd said and quickly corrected himself. "I-I mean you look just slutty enough to pass as a stripper I mean seriously how did Konan convince you to wear those things." Sasori said gesturing to the blondes newly formed chest.
"Five bucks says the blue haired bitch is jealous because they're bigger than hers." Hidan chuckled. Deidara threw him a warning glance causing the Jashinst to quickly shut up.
"She said they were to complete the look, my job is to get this guy to notice me and well….you get the idea." Indeed Sasori did, just one look at Deidara and he was already getting hot. The blonde was dressed in a tight black t-shirt that showed off his prominent curves and chest. Along with the black skinny jeans that showed just how slim his legs were add that to the long blonde curls and the face of an angle well…lets just say it took all of Sasori's will power to keep his eyes on the road and not the hot blonde in the seat next to him.
When they arrived they went into mission mode, Deidara got out…no that not the right way of putting it, he more like slid out moving in a way that was sure to catch the eye, there were a few guys on the side walk whose jaws literally dropped, that was good. Deidara gave them a sexy smile as he shut his door, he then turned around gesturing for Sasori to roll down the window, once it was opened Deidara leaned in to give them a quick good bye. "If you ever bring up this night again I will gladly beat you to death, un. Bye!" Deidara smiled. Sasori watched as Deidara walked into the club hips swaying flashing the bouncer his fake employee ID and disappearing behind the door that he was to enter soon after.
"Damn!" Hidan said climbing into the front seat. "I very nearly got a boner just by looking at him, I can't wait to see him on stage it's pretty funny that the hottest woman I've ever seen just happens to guy."
"Hidan shut up." Sasori said driving off to wait just around the corner. He parked in an empty spot ignoring Hidans meaningless drabble as his thoughts drifting back to the blonde wondering just how he was going to take seeing Deidara up on stage, half naked, dancing with a pole…Sasori mentally smacked himself he shouldn't think of him that way he was taken. Yeah taken by the idiot sitting next to me. He thought looking over at the silver haired man who was still talking. Sasori sighed this was going to be a long night.
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"So you're the new girl uh?" The stripper asked Deidara the second he'd walking into the backstage dressing area.
"Yes, un." Deidara smiled giving the girl a sweet smile, making sure to keep his voice light and feminine. The stripper before him was dressing in a red mini skirt with thong straps pulled out over her hips. Her top was a matching blood red corset tip rimmed with black lace. Her black hair was as straight as a ruler and her boots made her a least a foot taller than Deidara. The blonde flinched at the thought that he'd probably be that tall when he got his on.
"So what's your name new girl?" Another stripper said coming, she was dressed in a neon blue skimpy bikini with 7in strappy heals.
"Um just call me Konan." The blonde grinned to himself.
"Konan huh? I've got a friend named Konan she's real pretty but has a bit of a temper." Came a third voice Deidara's smile fell he knew that voice, when he turned around he came face to face with a women dressed in a black leather mini skirt, a bright red tube top and…blue hair.
"Oh hello." Deidara said letting out a nervous chuckle.
"Hey no one's' allowed back here except for the dancers and their helpers." The one dressed in red said.
"That's why I'm here to help my friend seeing as it's her first day." Konan smiled sweetly. The one in red nodded leaving it at that turning her back as a name was called to the stage.
"NOW INTRODUCING THE CRIMSON GODDESS EMILY!" A roar of applause let out from the other side of the curtain. "That's my queue." She smiled stepping on stage seconds later the sound of an electric guitar ripped through the air.
"Oh no! Ko…what should I call you?" The blonde asked.
"Oh well I was going to just stick with my real name but seeing as you took it you can just call me Deidara, or Dei if you want."
"Ugh…fine, un but hey I don't have a song." Deidara said worried.
"It's all taken care of." The real Konan reassured.
"Phew thanks, un what is it?"
"It's a surprise." She grinned.
Deidara frowned but let it go. "What are you doing here anyway, un." Deidara said looking at her very out of character outfit.
"You forgot something." She cackled lifting up a roll of duck tape.
"Oh no! I thought you were kidding!" Deidara said taking an involuntary step back.
"Nope." Konan grinned. "Ok now let's find you some privacy and we'll get started."
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The second they entered the club there were strippers all over them. "Hey gorgeous would you like a dance." A half naked brunette said rubbing her hands silkily over Sasori's shoulders.
"No thanks." He said pulling away from her grasp walking over to an empty table. It wasn't hard to ignore all the scantily clad woman, all his thoughts drifted back to Deidara and how soon enough he'd be climbing all over some other guy, well as far as he knew Deidara didn't actually have to go all out he just had to get close enough to seduce guy beyond the point of thinking.
"You know you seem to be taking this rather well." Sasori told Hidan who was fooling with something under the table. "Hidan what are you doing." Although he had a feeling he didn't want to know.
"Hmm? Oh! I'm checking the battery life on my camera." He said holding up a small blue digital one. "I want to make sure I get all of Dei's performance there is no way in hell I'd miss something like this.
Sasori's temper flared at his lack of respect for the blonde. "Hidan…" Sasori tone was light but menacing causing the silver haired Jashinist to look up. But he never got to see the look on the red heads face for seconds later the lights dimmed and a single spot light showed on stage.
"NOW GENTLE MEN LETS GIVE A ROUND OF APPLUSE TO THE NEWEST FLOWER IN OUR GARDEN…DEIDARA!" Sasori's and Hidans heads snapped to attention, eyes glued to the curtains as a figure stepped out onto the stage and grabbed the pole. Only it sure wasn't the person they were expecting.
"What the hell is Konan doing up there?" Hidan said in a rushed whisper.
"I have no idea…but I'm going to find out." Sasori walked right up to the edge of the stage just as Konan flung herself upside down and did the splits.
"Ko-Deidara what the hell are you doing up there." Sasori hissed. Konan smiled seductively leaning towards Sasori as if she were about to kiss him.
"There's a problem." Konan whispered. Ignoring the hoots and howls the men were giving her.
"What happened?" Sasori demanded if Deidara needed help then he had to find him.
"He's back stage, but be prepared he's pretty messed up." Konan said pulling back as she flipped right side up only to lift her leg up causing her skirt of ride up in a way Sasori did not want to see. He quickly went back stage, only to receive a few squeals of surprise from the women who were still getting dressed he paid them no mind his eyes were scanning the area determined to find the blonde.
"Hey you can't be back here!" the girl with the neon blue bikini from earlier said.
"Where's Deidara?"
"Deidara? She's on stage but seriously you need to leave." Sasori didn't listen he'd seen Deidara. He was standing in a far back corner of the room a long white blanket wrapped around his body. Sasori moved quickly he'd seen Deidara's eyes and he could tell something was wrong.
"Deidara!" Sasori said once he got to the blonde. His whole body was shaking.
Deidara look up at the red head his lips moved but Sasori couldn't understand what he was trying to say. "What?" Again the blonde's lips moved but barely any sound came out. "Deidara!" Sasori said grabbing the blonde's shoulders and lightly shaking him. "What's wrong?"
This time the blonde's words were loud enough for the red head to understand. "I can't do it." Deidara sounded like he was on the brink of tears. "I just can't do it, I-I took one look at that stage and froze, there are too many people out there, too many faces I just can't I'm so sorry." Deidara whole body shook, his eyes were closed tight as he tried to control the violent tremors but they continued to no avail then…they stopped. Deidara's eyes opened wide his was currently being wrapped in a pair of warm strong arms his face buried in a pile of red hair.
"It's ok Deidara you don't have to do this if you don't want to there's always plan B." Sasori whispered softly pulling the blonde tighter against his chest. Deidara let himself be held savoring the warmth and protection he felt from his partner.
"No plan B is the whole reason I'm doing this I don't want you to get hurt, un."
Sasori pulled away. "Hurt? It would take a long more than some snot nosed brat with weapons to hurt me."
"You don't know that." Deidara burried his face in the crook of Sasori's neck. The skin was so soft, Deidara pressed his lips gently against the smooth surface. Both men stiffened Sasori in shock and Deidara in fear that the red head would yell at him but that never came for Konan was back.
"Hey Konan are you feeling any better?" The blue haired woman said, her clothes were askew and her hair was wild, she must've really given it her all out there, makes you wonder what Pein would think.
"Konan?" Sasori asked not knowing about their little name change.
"Yeah I am, un I'm pretty sure I can do this." Both his friends could tell there was a difference he no longer stood with a shaky uncertainty but a strong determination.
"Alright." Konan smiled. "He's out there just letting you know, I kept my eyes on him he doesn't have any weapons as far as I can tell but that doesn't mean anything I want you to make your interest known. Get him alone, understood?"
"Yes ma'am." Deidara nodded, then their eyes were on the red head.
"What?" Sasori asked.
"You're not supposed to be back here." Konan frowned.
"Yeah un go back to your table the next show will be starting soon." Deidara smiled. Sasori was glad to see that the blonde seemed to really be over his stage fright. With a nod the police officer exited the dressing area not paying attention to the nasty glares he was getting from the other women.
When he got back to his table he found Hidan sulking. "What's wrong with you?"
"A couple bouncers confiscated my camera, apparently they're not allowed in here. Jashin Dammit the perfect black mail against the blue haired bitch gone, and Dei hasn't even gone up yet…..what with him anyway?"
"A minor problem he was a bit of a mess but everything's ok now, he's next." Sasori's eyes landed on the suspect. "Hidan there he is." Sasori said pointing him out. The man was sitting at a small table alone sipping his drink, his eyes were intent on the stage.
"HERES OUR NEXT ACT! I HOPE WE DON'T HAVE ANY LAW BREAKERS IN OUR AUDIENCE BECAUSE THIS LITTLE LADY WILL BE SURE TO FIND YOU."
Sasori: "Oh…"
Hidan: "My…"
Both: "Jashin!"
Deidara had taken the stage.
Sasori couldn't take his eyes away. Deidara innocent, sweet, fun loving Deidara was dressed as a cop. His black mini skirt that only went to about mid-thigh along with his knee high black boots and fishnet covered skin gave the audience (and Sasori) a very nice look at his legs. His top exposed his entire stomach stopping just below where his new breasts were it looked like any second they were going to pop out. The red head had never seen his partner show so much skin, man was he loving it.
We here at Wolfgirl4716inc highly recommend that you listen to the song while reading, it took a lot of work to fine just the right one ~ link is in the authors comments
The speakers blared with music, Deidara sighed at least he liked this song. He grabbed the pole feeling the heat of the stage lights as they bored down on him blocking his vision of the people in the front row. That was both good and bad. Good because now he couldn't see all the faces of the men (and women) staring hungrily at him as he danced. Bad because now he was having a hard time finding the reason he was here, but no matter he'd just have to keep looking.
You were a problem child
Been grounded your whole life
So now you running wild
Playing with them good girls
No that ain't your style
You think your hot shit
I love it, I love it
Yeah, yeah
Stumbling but yeah, you're still looking hella fine
Keep doing what you're doing and I'm a make you mine
Well, you're a hot mess and I'm falling for you
And I'm like hot damn let me make you my boo
Cause you can shake it shake it shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm loving it, hell yes
You got me hypnotized
The city's your playground,
I watch you take a bite
At five am roaming in the streets
Drunk all night
You think your hot shit
I love it, I love it
Yeah, yeah
Stumbling but yeah, you're still looking hella fine
Keep doing what you're doing and I'm a make you mine
Well, you're a hot mess and I'm falling for you *He could really feel himself start to get into the song, he jumped up on the pole doing some of the more daring moves his teacher had showed him*
And I'm like hot damn, let me make you my boo
Cause you can shake it shake it shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm loving it, hell yes
You're a hot mess and I'm falling for you
And I'm like hot damn let me make you my boo
Cause you can shake it shake it shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm loving it, hell yes *Deidara's eyes continued to wonder, it was only a matter of time before…target sighted*
If you're dancing up on table *Deidara moved to the edge of the stage making it clear to the guy that he'd seen him*
You go you go, you got it girl
Say that you're unstable
You go coco, you got it girl
Dancing up on tables *Deidara winked at the suspect, causing him to smile with interest*
Say that you're unstable
You're a ha ha ha ha ha yeah you're a hot mess
Ha ha ha ha ha we're singing hell yes *Deidara went all out moving in ways he'd never thought possible, he dropped to the floor twisting and grinding his body as if he were making sweet love*
Well, you're a hot mess and I'm falling for you
And I'm like hot damn let me make you my boo
Cause you can shake it shake it shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm loving it, hell yes
You're a hot mess and I'm falling for you
And I'm like hot damn let me make you my boo
Cause you can shake it shake it shake it
Yeah you know what to do
You're a hot mess
I'm loving it, hell yes (hell yes)
Hot mess
I'm loving it, hell yes (hell yes)
Hot mess
I'm loving it, hell yes
The audience roared with applause, Deidara threw one more seductive glance at the suspect before he disappeared behind the curtains. Phase one complete.
"Son of a bitch!" Hidan gasped leaning back in his seat. "That was the hottest thing I've ever seen he just put those other bitches to shame holy crap!"
Sasori was speechless, his face was as red as his hair, his nose felt like it was about to imitate a water fall he grabbed his nose desperate to stop the oncoming nosebleed.
"Hey Sasori what do you think the odds are of him doing an encore are?" The red head shot him a nasty glare, causing Hidan flinch but not say anything else. Alright step one is done he got the guy to noticed him and by the look on his face he's interested, now all he has to do is get him alone and step two can begin…I really hate step two.
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Deidara was sure to let enough time pass before he went back out, he sat there in the dressing room not looking at anyone else as they changed. He may have been gay but he was still a guy the least he could do was give these girls some privacy.
"Hey new girl." The one who has first addressed him called, he believed her name was Emily.
"Yeah, un?"
"You were really good out there, that one guy couldn't keep his eyes off you."
"The guy with the black hair? Yeah he's cute, un. I'm thinking about offering a lap dance."
"Black hair? I was talking about the redheaded guy, he's really hot! If my shift wasn't over I'd offer him a dance myself." Deidara blinked he hadn't noticed that she'd changed out of her red corset top and mini skirt, she looked a lot different in jean and a simple t-shirt. "But if you really like that dark haired guy he'll no doubt accept, whenever he comes in here he only seems to take dances from girls with long hair and seeing as yours is really long you shouldn't have a problem. Guess he got a thing for it, but hey I gotta go my rides waiting."
"It was nice meeting you, un." Deidara smiled extending his hand.
"Same to you, I look forward to working with you." Emily smiled.
"Actually, un I don't really know if this is the right type of job for me."
Emily nodded knowingly. "This type of thing isn't for everyone some of these customers can get pretty rough but you do what you have to in order to make a living." And with that she left, Deidara was almost sad that he'd probably never see her again she seemed like a really down to earth type of person. Deidara's thought didn't stay on her for too long enough time had passed it was time for lap dance duty.
"Hey there he is!" Hidan said in an excited whisper, point furiously as Deidara made his way over to them. Sasori looked up his face once again going as red as his hair, Deidara looked even sexier up close. Just before Deidara could get to their table a tall we muscled guy stepped into Deidara's path.
"Hey pretty lady who about a personal lap dance." He said, his breath reeked of alcohol making Deidara want to gag but he kept his features calm.
"Sorry, un but I'm going to have to say no." Deidara said sweetly starting to walk around the man.
"Awe come on sweet heart." The guy held up a 5 dollar bill. "I'll make it worth your while." Ok either this guy was really cheap or too drunk to notice that he barely had enough money for a drink at the bar much less a personal dance from a stripper.
"I'm sorry but no now if you'll excuse me-" The guy did something really stupid then, he grabbed Deidara's arm and pushed him down roughly into the nearest chair.
"Look whore I came here looking for a good time, I'm a paying customer so that's exactly what I should get." Emily wasn't kidding when she said that some of the customer can get rough. The man started to reach for Deidara again but before he could reach him Sasori was there and man did he look pissed.
"Is there a problem here?" He asked his voice menacing.
"Fuck off ginger, this is between me and the skank."
"You know those aren't exactly the nicest words to say about a lady." Hidan said standing on mans other side.
"Tsk, what are you gonna do arrest me?" The man chuckled.
"That's exactly what we're going to do." Sasori said pulling out his badge. The man paled and started to back away.
"Hey look I-I wasn't looking for any trouble."
Hidan put his hand on the man's shoulder as if he was talking with an old friend. "Look we're going to give you a warning right now but if you keep this up we're going to have to place you under arrest, got it?"
"Y-Yes o-officer." The man stuttered walking away.
"You know I could have handled that guy myself, un." Deidara said standing and straightening his skirt.
"We know that but we can't have you picking fights with customers even if they deserve it, you have to stay appealing to the suspect and if he thinks you're gonna kick his ass then all this was for nothing." Hidan said
"Fine." Deidara frowned he couldn't argue with the silver haired mans logic. "Look I was just coming over to here to see what's up; did Konan say anything about the rest of the team, un?"
"Yeah she did, while you were on stage she said that everyone else was outside and waiting for the signal do you still have your Akatsuki pin?"
Deidara touch the spot just over his left breast where the pin rested. "Yeah, un why?" Konan had forced him to put it on while he was still getting dressed.
"If you press down on it for more than 5 second it activates a tracking device." Sasori said. "When you're ready press it and a signal will be sent to Konan and the others."
"Wow, un really?" Deidara was amazed, no wonder he was told to always wear it.
"Deidara." Hidan said suddenly. "There he is go get him!" He said with a fake country accent.
"I'm on it, un." Deidara said moving, he walked through the crowd keeping his moves graceful and sexy, he made sure to put a sway to his walk. When he got to the guy it was clear he'd been expecting him.
"Hello, un." Deidara said silkily running his hand over the guys shoulder. "You're cute."
"And you're new here aren't you?" He replied looking Deidara up and down appreciatively.
"Sure am and you know I haven't had the opportunity to give anyone a lap dance yet, would you like to be my first?" Deidara very nearly gagged but managed to keep himself together.
"Hmm, sure I've always enjoyed breaking in the newbie's." Deidara smiled taking the man's hand, he lead him back to one of the private rooms used for just such occasions. Phase 2 had begun.
"Well there he goes our little boy is all grown up." Hidan whimpered leaning Sasori's shoulder.
"Get off baka." Sasori said shaking him off, it was only a matter of time before he gave the signal.
"Sasori! Hidan!" Both men turned their faces at the sound of the call only to see a certain weasel running towards them.
"Itachi! What in Jashin name are you doing here?" Hidan said.
"Where's Deidara?" Itachi said quickly.
"With the suspect, why what's happened?" Sasori's eyes were wide, was something wrong?
Itachi spoke quickly, his breathe coming out shallow and desperate. "You need to stop him now! You've got the wrong guy!"
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(10 minutes earlier)
"Alright you all understand the plan the second Deidara sends his signal we move" Konan was currently leaning against the bumper of her cruiser; it was so dark out that they didn't have to worry about hiding them. The remaining Akatsuki members were all gathered around her, including a certain weasel.
"Itachi are you sure you can handle this? It could get pretty rough."
"Kisame for the last time I told you I'm fine beside you know the only reason I'm here is because I promised to stand back and only offer cover via my gun and nothing else the same goes for Pein and Zetsu."
The green haired man was not exactly happy to be there, this was taking time from his vacation and a certain hyperactive Uchiha. The only reason he'd agreed is because Deidara might need his help and he knew Tobi would be upset if the blonde got hurt also…he seemed to have gotten rather attached to the newest Akatsuki member and actually considered him to be a close friend.
"So what's this guy's name?" Itachi asked.
"We don't have a name." Pein said reaching into his jacket pocket. "But we do have a picture." He handed the Uchiha the photo.
Itachi eyes widened. "So long story short Deidara dressed up as a stripper and is going to get information out of this guy by giving him a lap dance?" Itachi's voice was calm only his eyes portrayed any emotion.
"Pretty much yeah." Kisame explained.
"ARE YOU PEOPLE COMPLETELY INSAIN?" It seemed as though Itachi had lost it. "HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW YOU'VE GOT THE RIGHT GUY?"
"Itachi, we received a tip." Konan explained. "Add that to the information we'd already gathered and it was enough to investigate this further, I'm pretty sure we've got the right guy we just need stronger evidence against him to bring him in."
"YOU PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS! YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG GUY!"
Everyone was silent; it was Kakuzu who broke that silence. "How do you know?"
~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~!~*~
The private rooms were nothing more than 3 walls and a curtain to block other peoples field of vision and give the stripper and her customer some privacy. The second they were in the room Deidara got right down to business, he shoved the man down into one of the available chairs, closed the curtain to the outside world and proceeded to walk behind him.
"Sooo." Deidara purred as he softly ran his hand up and down the suspect's shoulders. "Where would you like me to start?"
The man chuckled. "You're the police officer aren't you supposed to tell me what to do?"
Ok so this guy wants to role play? Fine I'll go all bad cop on his ass and get this over with quickly. "Hmm, you know you right, un. So why don't we start with the naughty cop who's interrogating her helpless prisoner." Deidara said twirling a pair of hand cuffs on his finger. He then proceeded to bring both the man's arms behind his back while he quickly slid the cuffs around his wrists.
"So what crimes have I been convicted for?" The suspect chuckled.
Deidara stomach churned a little but he continued. "Well, your came to this place lookin' like that (Deidara moved to stand in front of him both his hands still on the others shoulders) so I'm going to have to say your crime was…(He plopped himself into the others lap) for being too sexy." It nearly killed him to say it but he had to be convincing. It surprised Deidara when the man suddenly brought his arms up and around so that they now circled the blonde's waist. Deidara was a little nervous the guy must be double jointed.
"So what's your name sweet heart?" The suspect stuck his face right into Deidara shoulder nuzzling him with his nose.
"I thought I was supposed to interrogating you? What's your name?" Deidara rubbed his hands up and down the man's chest acting as if he was giving him a chest massage but in reality he was trying to put some distance between himself and the suspects face.
"It's Sasuke." He whispered lightly closing his eyes. Deidara froze he felt as if he'd heard that name somewhere before. Suddenly Sasuke's eyes shot open. "Alright enough playing around, it's time to get serious." Deidara started to panic he wasn't supposed to actually do anything he was just supposed to seduce this guy enough to get him to talk without thinking.
"Ugh wait don't you want to-" Sasuke's arms tightened around Deidara's waist.
"No let's get down to business." His hands traveled up and down Deidara's back, until they started to slip so low that he gripped the blonde's skirt. Deidara jumped. "Just relax you know you want this." Sasuke whispered, Deidara started to panic he couldn't move not without seriously hurting them both.
"Hey look I don't really want to do this anymore, un." Deidara tried to move but their situation made it awkward.
"Hmmm, move faster." Sasuke hummed, not having heard what Deidara said.
"I'm not doing this anymore." Deidara said trying to lift Sasuke's arms up so he could leave.
This time Sasuke heard him, his arms clamped tight around Deidara making it nearly impossible for him to move. "You're not going anywhere." He said his voice low and menacing.
Deidara's heart skipped a beat things had gone too far, he had to get away. He immediately reached up and pressed his Akatsuki pin all he needed was five second. "What's this?" Sasuke said pulling the blondes hand away, he stuck his face closer to Deidara's chest looking at the pin.
"I-It's nothing, un look I'm leaving." But the more Deidara squirmed the tighter Sasuke's hold became.
"Alright I'll let you go but on one condition." Sasuke moved his face way to close for Deidara's liking. "Kiss me."
"No way!" Deidara pushed so hard that it sent him flying backward and seeing as Sasuke's arms were wrapped behind his back he flew to. Deidara felt Sasuke's full weight as he lay on top of him. "Please get off, un!" Deidara said trying to get his arms free but they were trapped pinned at his sides.
Sasuke smiled. "You know I rather like this position." He leaned closer any second he would… Deidara did the first thing he could think of. "AHHH!" Sasuke cried as Deidara kneed him between the legs.
"Deidara!" A voice yelled.
"In here, un!" The curtain was all but ripped open with Sasori, Hidan, and Itachi standing in the doorway.
"Get away from him!" Sasori roared grabbing Sasuke by the shoulders and lifting him up not knowing that his hands were cuffed together.
"Sasori drop him, I'll take care of this." Itachi said gently lifting up Sasuke's arms just enough for Deidara to be able to slid out. The second he was free he found himself being pulled to his feet.
"Are you alright?" Sasori asked checking over the blonde only to remember what he was wearing then looked away, his face red.
"Yeah I'm alright, un." Deidara smiled, then he seemed to remember Sasuke. "Itachi you might not want to get to close." The blonde said warily.
"You can relax Deidara, he's not going to do anything." Itachi reassured.
"How do you know that, un?"
Itachi sighed. "Deidara I'd like to introduce you to my little brother, Sasuke Uchiha."