Kowalski's Corner
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Kowalski's Corner
Kowalski's Corner is the official blog of Lt. Kevin Kowalski.
July 18
Hello again to all my loyal readers!
Ahh, today was a good day. I had a short shift today, but I managed to get quite a bit done. I had to exchange shifts with another tech guy because he got sick. It think it was the flu.
I had to fix the replicators again. This time on Deck 4. I hope it wasn't another rat. It couldn't have been Ritchie, because he was in that new cage me and Scotty rigged up for him.
It's a neat little cage. It's on its own little column in my quarters. It's got several levels, multi-colored plastic tubes that allow Ritchie to travel freely, a couple exercise wheels the light up when he runs on them, and of course, food dishes and a water dispenser, only this one can keep the water nice and cool for him. Ritchie likes cool water.
It was a slow shift today, not many things needed fixing up on the ship today. So you're probably wondering what a technician does when there's not a lot of stuff that needs fixing? Well, some of the tech guys like to hang out in that little lounge and watch the latest game on breaks. We also go around the ship, checking out circuits, doing routine diagnostics, that kind of thing.
A funny thing happened to me today. People were complaining to the Captain about someone hogging up the Holodeck I built. So Captain Kirk came up to me...
****
Lt. Kevin Kowalski was scanning an open panel in a corridor on the Enterprise. The Polish-English lieutenant was on one knee.
"Let's see here..." The blond pony-tailed lieutenant mumbled to himself as he tested another circuit. "This one is working fine..." He tested another circuit. "And that one's fine. Okay." He replaced the panel covering. "I'd better go down to the next panel and..."
"Kowalski!" Captain Kirk ran up to the young Englishman. "Lieutenant Kowalski!" Kowalski blinked as he got up.
"Sir?" Kowalski blinked. "Shouldn't you be on the bridge?"
"Ah, I needed to talk to you personally." Kirk explained. "We got a problem with the Holodeck."
"Why? What's wrong with it?"
"Well, it's nothing mechanical..."
"KOWALSKI!" A furious Sulu stormed towards Kowalski. Interestingly enough, the navigator was dressed as Robin Hood.
"Sulu, I got it." Kirk tried to calm Sulu down. "Kowalski, we got a problem."
"Somebody is hogging the Holodeck!" Sulu grumbled. "I set up this incredibly awesome Robin Hood simulation, and now I can't use it!"
"Why?" Kowalski blinked. "Is something wrong with the Holodeck?"
"That's the thing, Kowalski." Kirk explained. "The Holodeck is working fine, it's just..."
"Somebody's been in it all day." Sulu explained. "It's getting ridiculous."
"Alright, I'll go see what's going on." Kowalski nodded.
"I'll come with you, man." Sulu added. "I want to do my Robin Hood simulation!"
****
So, Sulu and I went down to the Holodeck, to find out who was hogging it up. Using a device, I forced the door open, and we found one Ensign had created a farm simulation.
He claimed that he had created his family farm on the Holodeck because he felt homesick. Sulu was none too happy. Normally, he's a quiet guy, but Sulu had been working on that simulation for a while, and he was getting really annoyed. So, I had to tell the Ensign, who had a Texan twang, that he had to let other people use the Holodeck, or I'd have to start putting in time limits.
He was very understanding. When he ended the simulation...
The pig was still there. I kid you not.
The Texan-talking Ensign said his pig was homesick, too. Which made our jaws drop. Are we allowed to keep pigs on this ship? Anyway, Sulu got to do his simulation, and he was happy. God, I can't wait for the next movie night.
And as for getting O'Malley back...Well, I want to thank everyone who helped me out on it. You know who you are. Special thanks goes out to John Cronin for helping me rig the transporters, Pavel Chekov for providing paint, and Brenda Kwan for providing the stuffed animals. I think O'Malley started breathing fire when she saw how we redecorated her quarters. Let her put charges on me. I'll just go to court with a big grin on my face. She doesn't scare me. I'll get her laughed out of the bloody courtroom all over again! She knows what I'm talking about!
COMMENTS:
(Subj: Good question)
Hmmm, that is a good question. I wonder if we can keep pigs on this ship.
- Captain Kirk, Master of the Awesome
--
(Subj: Re: Good question)
If Kowalski can keep that rat of his, then I'm sure that the Ensign could keep that pig.
- Uhura
--
(Subj: RE: Re: Good question)
Starfleet regulations do not forbid crew members to care for pets.
- Spock
--
(Subj: Kill you)
KOWALSKI! WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY ROOM, YOU CLOWN?! WHERE'S MY STUFF?!
- Meg O'Malley, who will murder you, then have your corpse kicked out of Starfleet.
--
(Subj: RE: Kill you)
What's the matter, O'Malley? Can't take a joke?
And don't you worry about your stuff. It's in one of the cargo bays. At least I have the decency to gather your stuff all in one place, unlike a certain alcoholic living Irish stereotype who SCATTERED MY STUFF ALL OVER THE BLOODY SHIP AND TRIED TO SET FIRE TO MY COMIC BOOKS!
- Kevin Kowalski
--
(Subj: Load of laughs)
Ah, it was such fun redecorating O'Malley's quarters. Remind me to compliment Monsieur Chekov for his painting skills. He managed to pull off painting the Care Bears! On pink walls with rainbows on the ceiling! Magnifique!
- Lt. John Cronin
--
(Subj: RE: Load of laughs)
(blushes) Thank you very much.
- Chekov
--
(Subj: Fun)
Hey thanks for letting me in on the fun! I laughed so much while redecorating O'Muttonhead's quarters. I'm glad you guys used those stuffed animals I got.
- Brenda Kwan
--
(Subj: Re: Fun)
No problem, Brenda. It was nice that you were there.
- Kevin Kowalski
--
(Subj: RE: RE: Re: Kill you)
Do I have to bring out the cattle prod with you two again? Seriously. I don't want to have to bring it out again.
- Captain Kirk, Master of the Awesome
--
(Subj: Movie Night)
Maybe now you'll take the opportunity and make a move on that Kwan girl.
- Doctor McCoy.
--
(Subj: Re: Movie Night)
Okay, I will. When you make a move towards that girl in Sickbay. What's her name, Nadia? Natira?
- Kevin Kowalski
--
(Subj: Thanks)
Thanks again for helping me get the Holodeck for my sim. You should build another one.
- Sulu
--
(Subj: Re: Thanks)
Sure, as soon as I can find the time and some empty space.
- Kevin Kowalski