Harry Platter and the Chamber Choir of Secrets

Well, In between the ending of the last story and now, two months have passed for our hero Harry Platter. But do not think that nothing much happened in those two months. For something happened in those two months which you would not expect in two months to happen in two months, two months that surpasses all two months, two months that will decide the fate of all humanity, forever.

Naw, just kidding, nothing really happened.

I

'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!'

A terrible cry rent the air in the pleasant suburb somewhere in Britain. It was Harry. He had just received the terrible news that he was...

'Not going back to that Hogfarts place.'

Harry's Uncle Verman stood with his arms crossed, frowning.

'Why not?' asked Harry

Uncle Verman replied, 'I could not find any documents that says that this "Hogfarts" conforms to any health regulations'

'It's for your own good, Harry." added Harry's Aunt Petoobia.

If you haven't read the first story, You will not know that Harry's Aunt and Uncle were highly germaphobic. So read the first story so that you'll know.

'Uncle Verman, its a magical castle in the middle of nowhere. Do you really think ordinary people will know about it?'

'Well, no, but-'

Verman was interrupted by an envelope that seemed to come out of nowhere.

'It's my supply list.' said Harry, opening it. 'I guess that means some off-screen shopping at a place that's never adequately explained.'

II

After Harry had finished shopping at that place, he went to King's Intersection station and passed through the barrier that led to platform 9.75. There, a magical red train stood, or sat, or... um, railed... whatever it is that trains do while not moving. On the red train were letters in a slightly darker shade of red, so the whole thing was difficult to read, or to even look at, for that matter.

As Harry was preparing to board the train, a boy with blond hair came up to him.

'I don't like you.' he said.

'Um, didn't you tell me this last year?' asked Harry, puzzled.

'Yeah, I'm just making sure you haven't forgotten'

'Who are you anyways?'

The boy looked at him with an evil stare and said, 'My name is Ducko Tinfoil.'

'What?'

But Ducko had already walked away.

Harry spotted his friends, Don and Hermyown, and ran over to them. They boarded the train and exchanged stories of their summer.

III

They finally got off the train and entered the school, where they sat at a table, and awaited the speech of their headmaster, the slightly cross eyed Professor Dunderbore. He raised his hands for silence, and spoke.

'Ahem. I would just like to say a few things. Zip-Zap-Zoobidy-Bop.'

'Slightly longer than last year's, isn't it?' said Don, as everyone sat down for the feast.

'He's off his rocker!' said Hermyown worriedly.

Soon, the feast was over, and everybody trudged to their dormitories to unpack. Harry nearly collided with a girl. 'S-Sorry,' she apologized softly, blushing.

'What was that all about?' asked Harry.

'That's just my sister, Minnie.' replied Don. 'I reckon she likes you, she's always talking about you.'

'Wha-'

'Oh, you're a sort of celebrity, how you defeated Lord Mouldyvort last year. He was the most evil dark wizard in the world. It was news all over the world. Minnie's got pictures of you posted all over her wall.'

'I didn't realize I had a fan.' said Harry.

'You probably have a ton of them. They all must be writing fanfictions right now.'

'Oh god, not fanfictions!'

'Yeah. Anyways, I'm going to bed. It's late.'

'Hey, wait a minute, the time hasn't been established yet!'

'Well, it's about eleven, I'm guessing. We've got that Transsubstifiguretutionswitcherooing class tomorrow.'

'Aw, man, not Transsubstifiguretutionswitcherooing!'

IV

The next day, Harry walked to his Transsubstifiguretutionswitcherooing class taught by Professor McGoogley.

'Today class, we shall be learning how to turn nails into screws. Now, first, you wave your wand like so, and say: "Screuioso."'

Everyone turned to the nails on their table and muttered the incantation. Hermyown's turned into a screw, but Harry's turned into a thumbtack, and Don's exploded in a mini fireball, scorching his desk.

'hee hee,' chuckled Professor McGoogley, 'you're the first person I ever saw who- ha! Screwed- up this badly! Ha ha aha ha! Class dismissed! HAAAAAA ha ha ha ha, ahhhhh, ha ha, ohhh, my, that was a good one.'

'That sure was a short lesson.' said Harry.

'Yeah, but it's already been an hour.' said Hermyown.

'That's cause it's a magical castle.' said Don.

Then, they saw it. Across the wall, in dripping red letters, was

THE CHAMBER CHOIR OF SECRETS HAS SUNG.

ENEMIES OF THE HAIR, BEWARE.

'I really hope that that's just red paint.' said Don.

'We have to tell somebody!' cried Hermyown.

'I'll go tell Dunderbore!' said Harry.

As fast as he could, Harry ran to the headmaster's office.

'Horton!' exclaimed Dunderbore, as Harry burst through his door. 'What brings you here?'

'Writing...*pant* ...on the wall...*wheeze*...third floor corridor...*cough*...' huffed Harry, not even bothering pointing out that that wasn't his real name.

'Uh-oh.' said Dunderbore

V

'Oh my,'

All the teachers were gathered around the wall where the writing was.

'This is very serious.' said Professor McGoogley.

'I agree,' agreed Professor Snafu.

'We should inform the Minister of Magical Stuff.' suggested Professor Witflick

'Now now, we shall take all the necessary precautions. But first we must bring all students to their respective common rooms, immediately.'

'This is getting kind of serious, we need some sort of comic relief soon.' said Harry.

VI

As Harry was preparing to go to sleep, he suddenly heard it. Coming from what seemed to be inside the walls;

'I smell blood'

Now, knowing what had happened earlier, and the fact that hearing voices makes you practically insane, you will forgive Harry if he started running around screaming at the top of his lungs, which he did.

'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHHH!!!!'

Luckily, he was whacked by an annoyed Don, who couldn't stand the noise.

'I can't stand that noise!'

'I heard voices!'

'shaddap!'

'But–'

'ZZZZZZZZZ'

Harry shrugged and supposed it was only a hallucination.

DIGRESSION

We are going to skip a little bit of boring stuff here. I want to get this over with already. We are going to start where Harry, Don and Hermyown are about to enter the Auditorium of secrets. Oh, wait Hermyown's been paralyzed. Sorry. We are going to start where Harry, and Don are about to enter the Auditorium of Secrets.

VI

'You go first.'

'You're the main character!'

'Yeah, but you're expendable.'

'What!? No I'm not! In the fifth book I–'

'Shh. Don't spoil it.'

'Can I at least say that it has something to do with a duck, several lampshades, and a plate of spaghetti?'

'Alright! Enough, we'll go in at the same time, okay? On the count of three, ready?'

Harry and Don got themselves ready to jump.

'One...'

And Harry pushed Don into the pipe that led to the Auditorium of Secrets. Harry followed shortly after. He zoomed down as if on a waterslide without the water, and certainly without the fun. He landed with a FWOOMPH beside Don.

'What the bloo'y 'ell was that?' yelled Don.

'Shush, listen!'

For somewhere in the dark cavern, voices were singing.

VII

'Do you like it?'

Harry stood aghast. There, in front of a group of people in white robes, stood a person whom Harry had not ever seen before.

'What do you mean, you've never seen me before? ' said the person, 'I am Lord Mouldyvort. And now I am going to kill you.'

Just then, almost as if the author was too impatient to continue writing this story, Harry stabbed the diary with a conveniently nearby Basilisk fang and Mouldyvort died and they all lived happily ever after, amen.

Hey, avid readers, I'm looking for a title for my third story. You can post your idea in the review section, provided you review or something. The title must be similar to the title of the corresponding J. K. Rowling novels. Use your imagination. Then, I will choose the title I think is the best. Then, I will write a story around that title. Ends August 31. Oh, and Mouldyvort's not really dead :)_|_)