Nonexistent Mourning
by tovanell
-AU- An assassination attempt on ten year old Gaara is successful, and Temari and Kankurou mourn for the brother they never really had.
Gaara was not a genin or an official shinobi, not because he wasn't ready or not good enough – he was already past genin level and everyone knew it – but because his father did not see the point in promoting someone who was marked for death. He was still trained and tutored, because he was the Kazekage's son and the guise of normalcy was maintained, even if Gaara was a demon and his father still sent assassins after him every month or so and everyone knew this as well.
Gaara was not genin or an official shinobi, but he still got sent on missions with his genin brother and sister, because there was room on their team and they usually get sent on mission that involves killing a bunch of people really dead and really quickly – perfect for Gaara. To sate his blood thirst and to get something done, it's like killing two birds with one stone.
The mission was another massacre mission. There was an ethnic nomadic tribe on the steppes of the Land of Wind that had been causing trouble, raiding villages and challenging the rule of the Wind daimyo. The daimyo wanted the complete destruction of the tribe, all of them dead. The tribe's military might were skilled warriors on horseback, and there were about two or three hundred warriors – but they weren't shinobi. A large group of jounin might do the trick.
Gaara, along with Baki and Kankurou and Temari, was sent.
There was something else to this one mission, though. Like all their other missions, it's like killing two birds with one stone. Only this time, one of the problems solved will not be Gaara's blood thirst. It will be Gaara himself.
Only Baki knew. The Kazekage himself had told Baki what will happen and what he will do. Gaara, tired and chakra exhausted after decimating the whole tribe, will be targeted by a group of Kumo jounin, all specializing in Lighting techniques, right afterwards. It was unlikely he will survive. If he does survive, he will be most definitely injured and severely weaken, and Baki will finish Gaara off.
The warriors, with their flimsy armor and simple metal swords and wooden arrows and horses, didn't stand a single chance against Gaara.
Still, the sheer number of them overwhelmed Gaara with just his sand, so Shukaku came out and finished them all off.
After every last member of the tribe was killed, the nomadic village on the steppes torn up and utterly annihilated, Shukaku, satisfied, receded and Gaara woke up, dazed and disoriented and exhausted, both chakra-wise and physically.
They made camp a few good miles away from what's left of the tribe and rested for the rest of the night.
It's unfortunate things turned out this way, Baki thought, as he waited for the Kumo ambush. Gaara, who was sitting in front of the fire, staring off into space, actually looked somewhat like a normal ten-year-old now, small and quiet and tired, not one hint of killer intent in him.
At the crack of dawn, lighting struck through the clear sky and Baki sprang into action, grabbing Kankurou and Temari and ran, leaving Gaara alone to fend for himself.
For the good of the village, Baki told himself, as he ignored Temari's protests and set the siblings a good distance away: close enough to see everything that's happening, but far away enough to not be hit by a stray attack.
The three of them watched as Gaara, still dazed and disoriented and tired, take on five jounin at the same time, sand noticeably slower and the lightning attacks getting too, too close.
-The good of the village-
One of the Kumo-nin drew blood from Gaara – Gaara! – and Temari felt her own blood run cold.
Gaara has never been hurt before. The sand has always protected him, against anything and everything. Yet, even as she watched from a distance, she could see one of the Kumo-nin's lightning-lined blade go through the sand shield, through the sand armor and into Gaara's side. She could see Gaara jerk in pain, stumbling back and clutching at his side, red spilling over his fingers and blossoming over his clothes.
By now, she has realized this was another assassination attempt, only it might not be 'attempt' and could become just plain 'assassination'.
Gaara might actually die from this.
There is something scary about the thought, because Gaara (Gaara and Shukaku) seem almost immortal, invincible. Gaara can go for a whole week in the desert without water, can go for whole years without sleeping, and can survive explosions and hundreds and hundreds of kunai. Gaara, who has never gotten a scratch on him, who had skin that was flawless and smooth, better than her own. Gaara, who seemingly cannot die, but was so close to death right now.
Temari stood and watched and felt a bit numb. Most of her is amazed and shocked, because Sabaku no Gaara, Shukaku jinchuuriki of the Sand, was being hurt, being killed, and she was watching how it will all play out. Gaara was dying, and she got to watch how. The rest of her felt something like relief, because Gaara was finally going to die, after all those years of fear and hurt that he had imposed on the village, on them.
Yet, somewhere, deep down, there was another part of her, this one small part, that felt…guilt and worry? After all, this was her little brother (even though it didn't mean the way it should). This was her little brother who was being killed by assassins their father hired, and she was just standing there, not helping, doing nothing and just watching.
She looked at Baki-sensei, who was looking at the battle, face stoic but tense. She looked at Kankurou, who had collapsed on the ground, staring wide-eyed in disbelief.
Temari looked back, clearing her thoughts, and focused on the battle.
Gaara had retreated into his sand sphere, and the four remaining Kumo-nin – he had killed one already – surrounded it.
Temari knew that Gaara was trying to bring out Shukaku again. She knew, but the Kumo-nin probably did not, not from the way they still surrounded the sphere and tried to find an opening. Gaara was still chakra-exhausted, though, and she wondered if Shukaku could come out when Gaara was like that.
Once Shukaku appears, the fight will turn to Gaara's favor again, and he might not die after all. Shukaku, after all, was still a demon, a bijuu, and these jounin were still human.
One of the Kumo-nin, after nodding at the others, began to spin his sword, collecting lightning onto his blade, a giant mass of electricity at his hands. The air crackled and the lightning from the blade seemed to connect the sky to the ground, and the jounin charged towards the sphere.
Before today, Temari would have thought that was stupid, because Gaara's sphere is his absolute defense, one that nothing can penetrate, but now she wasn't so sure.
So she watched.
It caught her a bit by surprise when the man was able to avoid all those spikes that shot out from the sphere, and plunged his electrifying sword in, going through the sand – he went through the sand –
A pause, then…
The scream was inhuman, so, so loud and so animalistic sounding. She heard the human scream, but the Shukaku roar underneath it was louder, and it sent shivers down her spine.
Gaara's absolute defense crumbled and there he stood, in the middle of all that sand, hands clutching his chest, clutching the sword-
"The sword went through his heart…!" Baki-sensei next to her said, eyes wide and voice just barely a whisper and incredulous.
And it was through the heart. The blade was poking out of Gaara's chest, and blood was gushing out of the gaping hole there.
Yet Gaara was still moving.
He yelled again, that inhuman scream again, and suddenly the sand shot back, at the man holding the sword, and in an instance, he was gone, consumed. The sword slid out of Gaara, who screeched in pain and collapse onto the ground, on his knees, still clutching his chest.
The wave of monstrous chakra and killer intent that exploded from Gaara was so evil and immense that the three felt it even this far away. Temari's legs went weak and she fell onto the ground, all the while forgetting how to breathe. She heard Kankurou throwing up somewhere on her left.
The sand spun around Gaara, and it looked like he in was in some kind of sand tornado when it exploded, flying out in all directions, consuming everything in its path and looking like a sandstorm. Too late for those Kumo-nin now, who didn't even have time to know what was happening. It spread across the grassland, fast and wild-
"Temari! Kankurou! Move!" Baki-sensei barked, as they watched the wall of sand moved towards them. Regaining their bearings, they shunshined away, heading for the forest at the edge of the steppe.
All around him was sand; He had transformed the steppes into a desert, destroying the vegetation and turning the dirt into sand, in his last – and successful – attempt to kill those damn Kumo-nin.
Gaara had no doubt this was all the Kazekage's doing. The mission was just to get him tired, less ready and alert, so he would be caught off guard and killed. But he had killed them all, like always, and he won again, yet-
His chest was burning – such horrible, horrible pain! And that was his blood on the ground around him, his blood that was gushing out, warm and wet and thick. It was his heart, his heart was pierced through, yet he was still alive, somehow, and Kaa-san was screeching in his head, loud and maddening and causing him as much pain as his heart, trying to heal him, keep him alive, keep them both alive.
But Shukaku was only the One Tail and didn't have the chakra to heal something like a hole in the heart and he – they had already used up so much chakra…
The world spun around and around, there was blackness at the corner of his vision, and Gaara sunk into the sand. He felt cold, colder than on the coldest of the desert nights. Cold and lightheaded, the world still spinning around him, and the pain, in his chest, his heart, his mind, with Shukaku still screeching and clawing, made it impossible for him to think. He couldn't think, which might be just as well because he doesn't want to think, think about what will happen to him, because he had already realized-
He was going to die.
Gaara whimpered and fear (how long has it been since he felt that, fear?) flooded his mind, crashing into the very core of his being. He was going to die and he'll be gone, his existence gone, vanished from this world, erased and forgotten. He'll die and back in Suna, they'll celebrate, rid of the relic of the past that they so desperately wished to forget, finally. They'll pretend he never existed, and he was going to disappear completely from this world.
Anger welled up and Gaara clenched his teeth, but winced in pain as a shock of pain shot through him. He coughed out blood, sour and metallic in his mouth. His blood.
Gaara was going to die, was going to disappear forever and he can't do anything about it.
Kaa-san…Kaa-san, please…don't let my…
save me…
But Mother wasn't there and there was only screeching, that maddening screeching in his mind, and she, it was only worried about itself, fearing for its own life…
Gaara was going to die, and he was going to die alone.
He clutched at his heart harder, but he can't feel anything now, just numbness and cold and pain, still so much pain. He can't even tell if he was breathing or not.
My existence…my life…me…
No…
The world spun and spun, more black in his vision - he can't see anything now, not even the sand in front of his face - and he felt himself falling, falling…
Then it was silent,
completely, perfectly silent
and the world disappeared.
A/N: During their match at the Chuunin exams, Sasuke could have so easily hit Gaara's heart - Just a few more inches to the right, a few more inches in... It was that thought that inspire this, somewhat.
Gaara and Shukaku are weird, but that's what makes it so fun. Canon doesn't help explain much, sadly. He seems to know Shukaku isn't his mother, that it's a demon when he was info-dumping his past to Naruto and Shikamaru, but calls it that during his match with Sasuke. I personally think Gaara only calls it 'Mother' when he's really out of it, but otherwise knows. Then there's this whole thing when Gaara falls unconscious in the series (after the fight with Deidara), but Shukaku didn't come out. I'll put that off as chakra-exhaustion.
Feedback would be nice. Constructive criticism would be even better.
tovanell