The Slave

Chapter 6- Dream

For a few moments, my vision field changed completely. I was snot looking towards the ceiling but down… I was seeing myself! I saw my immobile body, weak and worn out, I saw my emaciated face with my eyes exaggeratedly open and a expression of terrible anguish. That image made me understand why everyone was terrified when they saw me.

Everything passed in front of my eyes as in slow camera. I could hear an alarm in the device next to my bed indicating that my heart had stopped. I saw how two doctors and various nurses, Esperanza one of them, entered hurriedly to the room. I saw them worried checking wires and moving switches.

A sensation of immense peace and complete indifference invaded me. In matter of seconds, I remembered my life's most important moments… in fact, not only I remembered them, but I lived them again.

And I lived once again the kind and warm of my mother's arms when I was a baby, I perceived her perfume and her gentle look, her affection and her love for me.

I lived one again the happy moments with my beloved beings: I heard the laughs and felt the joy of sharing my life with them.

In seconds I traveled through all the special moments for me: the first time I saw the sea, the warmth of the sun in my scales, my first kiss, the taste of my favorite food, all the beautiful landscapes that I had the chance to enjoy, my favorite melody and in being with Carla…

"I'd like to be with Carla once again and meet the baby…"

That was my last thought I had in those wonderful moments. What followed was not nice… after a strong electric shock I felt myself in my body, I could see a doctor inclined in front of me holding two devices against my chest. One more electric shock made my back to bend itself and my body shale on the bed.

"He's got pulse!" someone yelled in the bottom

"The vital signs are getting normal… we got him back" one of the nurses commented

While everyone who was in there retired with between smiles and congratulations, the doctor that was still in front of me, he stared at me thoughtful.

"What's wrong?" Esperanza came closer to ask him

"I don't know if I do right or wrong in keeping him alive" he answered

"You're doing right… that's your job" Esperanza answered him giving him pats in his back

"I don't think he lasts long… let's see what happens" he answered with coldness and lifting his shoulder as if saying: "this depends on me no longer"

After checking the devices around my bed worked correctly and my vital signs continued stable, the doctor retired asking Esperanza to call my father to inform him of the success.

Despite the pain and the uncomforting in my body had come back, I still kept the peace that invaded me moments before. I had besides, a clarity in my mind that I had never experimented. It was as if suddenly, my fears and insecurities had disappeared. As if suddenly I recovered a great wisdom I had lost. As if I could see, for a few seconds, a bigger perspective. Something had changed in me… I had changed.

I still can't explain to myself what had really happened. Maybe my brain still received enough oxygen to keep me alive and I had imagined everything, maybe I had reached a superior state f conscience or maybe, in effect, I had received a second chance. That really doesn't matter, what was very clear in my mind was that my wish of being with Carla and seeing the baby kept me alive. In any way I understood that the only way of remaining in this world and with our beloved beings, is through our body. That the only way of being myself, is through my mind. That what I am, is a combination of stories, memories, expectative, desires and wishes, all unique and unrepeatable. I understood that this life is the only chance we have to be ourselves. I didn't care as much about my condition as before, the joy of being here and of being able to participate in life, despite being as an observer, was worth of it.

"nothing like a taste of Death to appreciate life" I heard my guide, "are you still angry?"

"I already overcame the feelings like anger" now I was the one with the mocking tone

"Ha! You're even on a good mood"

"And why not, a miracle just happened"

"That is, life is a miracle and a great chance. It's incredible that most people forget. They focus in problems, in what they lack, in useless companies, in stupid worries. They get used to wake up every morning to feel the beatings of their hearts, to the wonderful of their senses, to the possibility of expressing their ideas, their love, their individuality and they forget that each of those gifts is a miracle on one self. They receive the gift of life and don't know what to do with it, it bores them, and they waste it"

"It's as if you were offered a treasure everyday and you wouldn't like to receive it, r as if you received it grudgingly and don't use it," I commented

"That's why death can be your best friend. And I don't mean to get obsessed with it or to wish it or to get depressed because is imminent, but to remember that we all have the days counted, that in any moment we can cease existing. If people had this in mind I assure you they would live much better. When Death becomes present, the problems of daily life are not so grave, worries have no sense, the argues, hatred and resentment disappear of our relationships because we want to take as much advantage as possible the little time we have left."

"It seems that what happened to me, awakened me"

"You expressed it perfectly. You were awakened! Which gives me lots of joy because you have a new perspective from today our talks will be much more interesting"

"You mean that I always had been asleep?"

"In a certain way, yes. Most people live in a dream most of their lives and, worst of all, that it's not even a nice dream. They can't see beyond what they've been told they have to do. They're dragged by routine and can't escape from it, trapped in behaviors that don't give them the results they expect, in conflictive relationships that don't satisfy them, in quests that don't belong to them, in customs they despise"

"As if we were robots programmed for work, for being productive, for getting what others have told them they need. Answering in an automatic way what they've been made believe."

"Exactly! Answering blindly to their beliefs. Beliefs that have been imposed on them and haven't tested yet. Mistaken beliefs that have been passed down generation to generation as if they were a genetic defect."

"But… how can someone free itself of something it has believed its whole life? Of something that is considered true by most people?"

"Analyzing the beliefs and testing them. The person that wants to awaken and stop being a slave of its education, of society and its past, it needs to test everything it believes in. that's the only way of recovering freedom. Luckily, you and I, still have the chance to do it"

"Yeah? For what?"

"You still care about the For What?"

"No… seeing it calmly, I no longer care as much about the Why nor the For What.